What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 1/31/13. How does TNA handle in the UK? Let's find out and begin.
Match #1: Magnus vs Devon
We open up the show by having Kaz and Christopher Daniels remind us that they are bad guys and need to piss off the countrymen. Bad Influence looked like Mel Gibson in Braveheart, except more gay. Magnus makes his return and tells them to get lost. Since the Brit found a couple of American cowards, he deals with an uninteresting stable. It was apparent for Magnus to get some revenge against the Aces and Eights, so this comes as no surprise. The match falls pretty flat, but that's what Devon brings to the table. The finish comes when Card Games interrupt the match, thus resulting in a DQ. Is it in Aces and Eights' contract to not win matches? The opening was all over the place. You have Daniels and Kaz talking about the world title and mocking Brits, then you have a Brit challenge somebody else. It feels a bit crowded, but I didn't mind the Magnus/Bad Influence interaction. It was at least entertaining.
Winner via DQ: Magnus
Match #2: Joseph Park vs Robbie E
Once again, Joseph seems to have suffered some memory loss. He claims this is his first OFN, but can't seem to remember that whole deal with Bully Ray last year. Either that or he's lying about everything. Hey, at least he's living up to the lawyer gimmick. Just as Joseph is about to make his decision, Robbie E interrupts to insult Joseph as a competitor. Robbie E whips Joseph's notebook with his ass. That notebook is gonna smell like beer, broken condoms, and garbage. In a boring match, Joseph wins by killing Robbie E with a Flying Dad Bomb. Looks like Joseph got that, 'W' and not one single f*** was given. I've lost so much interest in the Joseph Park character. Will this character really mean anything six months from now? I'm curious to know how other think of this character.
Winner via pinfall: Joseph Park
Match #3: Austin Aries vs Chavo Guerrero
If Aries wins this match for his team, they will get a tag title shot. Bobby wanted to compete against the small guy, but Aries claims that he has this in the bag. You know what's sad? Aries pulls off a better Frog Splash than Chavo. Sigh….I miss Eddie. Thanks to a distraction, Aries is able to hit the Brainbuster for the victory. Aries and Roode will get a tag title shot down the road. I am NOT the tag team champions!!! No, IIIIIII am NOT the tag team champions!!!
Winner via pinfall: Austin Aries
I love how a 'suspended' Bully Ray still manages to be on the show every week. Bully and Brooke arrive and demand for Hulk to reinstate Bully. Sting also comes out to…
Seriously, that's what they're doing. Hulk finally comes out and reinstates his son-in-law. Hulk reminds us that he always does the right thing, so he's here to do the right thing on top of the right thing. Did I mentioned he wanted to do the right thing? Geeze, did Hulk have a stroke in the middle of this promo? He also books Bully and Sting to go against Aces and Eights in a Tables match, which will happen next week. So, the Bully is back…..Even though he was there the whole time. I really don't want to talk about this storyline anymore. You know how I feel about it, so we're moving on. Once again, Samoa Joe can't seem to accept Garett Bischoff and Wes Brisco. Oh, I'll get to THIS later in the review. I will add that Joe was taken out earlier in the night, thus not being present for the cage match. Either Card Games took him out or he passed out after eating a pie.
Match #4: Velvet Sky and James Storm vs Tara and Jesse
Wow, how the mighty have fallen. Storm goes from main event feud, to nearly being the #1 Contender, to replacing AJ Styles in a feud that needed to be shot in the backyard, to working a KO match. The finish comes when Velvet hits a finisher for the victory. Storm goes back to his hotel room and takes a looooooooonnnnnnnnng look at his life.
Winner via pinfall: Velvet Sky and James Storm
Dixie Carter announces that after the TNA Lockdown PPV, TNA will be going on the road full-time. All I can say is that it's about damn time. This should've happened years ago. Finally, we'll stop listening to the worst audience in wrestling history. The shows just have more energy when they're out of the Impact Zone. Going off-topic, I should note that TNA is playing the Jeff Hardy attack from last week as an injury angle. In reality, Hardy is unable to travel outside of the United States because of probation. Yes, the TNA world champion doesn't exist because of Hardy's screw ups. Have I mentioned how awesome it is that Hardy is the world champion? Oh, there's that sarcasm again.
Match #5: Kurt Angle vs Mr. Anderson; Steel Cage match
Anderson looks like a bum in that A&8 get-up. Why do I get the feeling Anderson will still be wearing this five years from now while he's waiting for his check in the unemployment line? This was a pretty good match. The finish comes when Kurt makes Anderson tap out to the Ankle Lock. Joining up with Aces and Eights was the 'best' thing Anderson ever did, am I right? After the match, an Aces and Eights member climbs the cage to attack Kurt. Angle gets the idea to have Wes lock the two of them inside the cage. It turns out the person was Garett Bischoff. Wes plays dumb for a while, but finally drops the act and reveals they're both in the stable. The show ends with the two taking out Kurt. I'm guessing Kurt pissed off the entire TNA locker room. Why didn't anybody save him? Well, might as well get this out of the way…
Who am I kidding? Everybody called that crap. This really feels like half-assed writing. I realize TNA was hinting this for the past two weeks through Joe's paranoia, but why didn't this happen months ago? I think it would've made this scene important if Joe kept talking about how he didn't trust Garett and Brisco for months. Instead, TNA does it for the last two weeks and now we're supposed to give a s***? Not only is that poor writing, but it's poor planning. TNA had a match at Final Resolution where Garett and Brisco could've turned then. Why did we have to wait until now to turn these guys? I know people will argue that they wanted to build up Garett and Wes' credibility. I would be willing to accept that, but here's why I think that argument is bulls***. From Final Resolution until now, what impression have Garett and Brisco made during that time? For the most part, nothing. So, let's summarize. This is a turn that should've happened months ago AND the build up to the turn was poorly done since there was no build to it. Oh, and did I mention the acting for this scene sucked? I love how Kurt doesn't act shocked when his friends betray him. Yeah, so I'm not a big fan of this scene. I'm sorry, but this reveal was done in the laziest way possible. You're supposed to build these things up. If you don't, it means nothing in the long run. It isn't like Garett and Brisco have a giant list on credentials to make these surprise turns. They're just plain green, so a turn like this isn't that big of a shock. Perhaps I'm being a little harsh on this whole thing. At least the turn finally happened. Better late than never. And who knows? Maybe Garett and Brisco can find a real comfort zone by working as bad guys? In fact, Wes looks like he can play a great heel. He definitely has the look of an asshole, so I think that's a start. I didn't like how the turn happened since it was written up in the laziest way possible, but there are a few positives with this move. Only time will tell with how this turn will mean anything as Card Games continues to run a muck.
Winner via submission: Kurt Angle
I have some mixed views on the show. One thing I liked about the show was the audience. Once again, the UK does a damn good job in trying to make the show stand out. This is an energetic audience that's really passionate about wrestling. The UK might be my favorite audience because of what they bring to a show. While the show featured a ton of energy, TNA didn't put together one of the better episodes. The matches were a mixed bag and so were the progression of their storylines. The big turn that happened was Garett and Wes turning heel. Is it really THAT big of surprise? I personally don't think so. It's possible the move will mean something down the road, but this turn just adds to the issues I already had with Aces and Eights. The reveals have been pretty disappointing and this stable has very sporadic success. They can take out people, but hold a worthless championship and continue to lose. How is this stable a threat again? There's always a chance this storyline could get better, but I really just want this Aces and Eights to be over and done with. I just don't think there's a big enough name to make me care about this stable. And don't give me that crap that Eric Bischoff and Jeff Jarrett would be big names. They've been speculated since day one. That's not good enough in my book. I mentioned months ago that somebody like John Morrison would be a semi-big name. That would be a shocking moment, but I could see that excitement fall because of Morrison's promo skills. That's hard to say, but who really knows at the end of the day. Well, I think that's all I can deal with for tonight. The show wasn't bad or good. It just falls in the average territory. It's at least worth a look, but it may not hold you for very long. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one.