Sunday, January 27, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Royal Rumble 2013 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Royal Rumble 2013. How did the first WWE PPV of the year turn out? Let's find out and start the review. 

Match #1: Alberto Del Rio vs Big Show; Last Man Standing match for the WHC
We open up the show with shameless plugging. I really didn't understand the reasoning for Bret Hart having that brief segment with Del Rio and Rodriguez before this match. Just seemed like an excuse for a cheap cameo, but whatever. I find it funny that Show wears camouflage. I think everybody can see you ass, but I digress. Hey, looks like Show is gonna have some Big Blue Balls. Am I right? Del Rio just smoked Show's ass….

Okay, I'm having way too much fun here. This match was pretty fair, but I personally think their match on SD a few weeks ago was better. Still, this was a great addition to their rivalry. The finish comes when Del Rio locks in the Cross Armbreaker. Ricardo gets some duct tape and tapes down Show's legs…

Duct tape is the toughest substance alive!!! Just don't tell John Cena about this since I'm sure he'll find a way to overpower it. I know people will hate this idea being used again, but I found this to be funny. I don't know what it is, but Del Rio and Ricardo really click as good guys. I'm really liking their act. On an off-topic note, it's amazing to see Miz in the pre-show. From full-time main eventer to part-time prep-matcher. Wait, is that a thing? It should be. 

Winner and still WHC: Alberto Del Rio

Match #2: Team Hell No vs Rhodes Scholars; WWE Tag Titles
Show…..Off…….Dramatic…….Tension. See, I can do it too, Dolph. It doesn't make you special. This match wasn't too bad. The finish comes when Bryan locks in the No Lock for the submission victory. With all things considered, I have no problem with this. Team Hell No is still fun and interesting, so they should remain tag champs. One of my favorite storylines continues. 

Winner via submission and still tag champs: Team Hell No

Match #3: Royal Rumble Match
The RR match is on now? I guess WWE needed to get this match in before kids missed their hero before bedtime. I never really got into rumble talk since I wasn't feeling well, but I had a sneaky suspicion that Jericho would be competing in this match. Not really sure why I was thinking that. It just seemed like an idea WWE would use. Unfortunately, nobody will believe me since I didn't say anything. Oh well, it happens. I'm sure Jericho will get himself in a program for WM 29. Depending on when Dolph cashes in the MITB, I can see a possible Dolph/Jericho match for the WHC, but kinda tough to make that claim since Del Rio is currently the WHC. It's just a theory for the time being. In terms of big name surprises for the rumble, this one really didn't go all out, but I don't measure the success of a rumble based on who's competing in the match. I simply just want to be entertained with how the match plays out. I was entertained by the rumble, but I've seen better rumble matches. I'm not gonna go into detail on everything that happened in the rumble, but I will talk about a couple of key factors in the match. Dolph and Jericho started the match and both lasted for over 47+ minutes. Kofi got himself back in the ring by using a chair as a pogo stick. Compared to what he did last year, this is pretty disappointing. Kofi's gimmick is to do stunts for the whole year. And you wonder why people consider pro wrestlers to be circus performers? Brodus performed the worst Gangnam Style ever. A drunken hippo with a harpoon up his ass could've done better. Team Hell No had an interesting elimination. Bryan ended up eliminating his tag partner. Seconds later, Bryan is thrown over the top rope and Kane catches him. I thought there were gonna proclaim their love on live PPV, but Kane just toys with Bryan and eventually drops him to the floor. I was impressed with how WWE made Bo Dallas look….Even though this was the first time I ever heard of the guy. Again, I don't watch NXT or indy wrestling, so I could care less what these guys did in the minor leagues. He had an altercation with Wade Barrett. I can see this being used for down the road. Ryback was the final entrant and eliminated the most guys. I was really pulling for Ryback to win this match when we got down to the final three guys, but it wasn't meant to be. The finish comes when Cena takes out Ryback and wins the RR for the second time in his career. I would go into my feelings on Cena's victory, but I'm gonna save that for later in the review. I have my reasons for doing it like this. If you're interested, heres the entry/elimination order for the RR.

Entrant Order:
1. Dolph Ziggler
2. Chris Jericho
3. Cody Rhodes
4. Kofi Kingston
5. Santino
6. Drew McIntyre
7. Titus O'Neil
8. Goldust
9. David Otunga
10. Heath Slater
11. Sheamus
12. Tensai
13. Brodus Clay
14. Rey Mysterio
15. Darren Young
16. Bo Dallas
17. Godfather
18. Wade Barrett
19. John Cena
20. Damien Sandow
21. Daniel Bryan
22. Antonio Cesaro
23. Khali
24. Kane
25. Zack Ryder
26. Randy Orton
27. Jinder Mahal
28. Miz
29. Sin Cara
30. Ryback

Elimination Order:
1. Santino-by Rhodes
2. McIntyre-by Jericho
3. Titus-by Sheamus
4. Otunga-by Sheamus
5. Goldust-by Rhodes
6. Brodus-by roster
7. Tensai-by Kofi
8. Darren-by Kofi
9. Kofi-by Rhodes
10. Godfather-by Dolph
11. Slater-by Cena
12. Rhodes-by Cena
13. Mysterio-by Wade
14. Khali-by Kane
15. Kane-by Daniel
16. Bryan-by Kane and
17. Ryder-by Randy
18. Antonio-by Cena
19. Jinder-by Sheamus
20. Wade-by Bo Dallas
21. Bo Dallas-by Wade
22. Damien-by Ryback
23. Sin Cara-by Ryback
24. Miz-by Ryback
25. Jericho-by Dolph
26. Randy-by Ryback
27. Dolph-by Sheamus
28. Sheamus-by Ryback
29. Ryback-by Cena

Winner of the 2013 Royal Rumble: Mr. Breakfast Cereal

Match #4: CM Punk vs Rock; WWE Championship
I don't know why, but I thought this was a better wrestling match than Rock/Cena. I know this won't get the mainstream attention like Rock/Cena, but I just wanted to give some credit to where it's due. Although, I can't say the same for the actual finish of this match. Who built that Spanish Announce table? Sin Cara? Actually, that would make a lot of sense if you watched his RR performance. The Rock is about to hit the People's Elbow until the lights go out. Once the lights turn back on, Rock was put through the announce table. The commentators were playing it up that it was the Shield, but I kinda liked that they didn't show who it was. It plays up a future storyline between Punk and Vince, but I'll save that for later in the review. Punk rolls Rock back in the ring and Punk has retained the title. Just as Punk is celebrating, Vince McMahon comes out and claims that since nobody saw the Shield, he feels it was the stable and is about to strip Punk of the WWE title. Innocent until proven guilty, my ass!!! The Rock cuts off Vince and wants him to restart the match. Since Vince is mostly thinking about his checking account at this time, he restarts the match. WWE trolled the entire planet with that move.

Rocky is able to fight back and hit the People's Elbow for the victory. This is seriously what happens. Punk is about to hit the GTS, but one spinebuster and elbow end the 400+ day championship reign. Talk about ending things in the laziest way possible. I would've preferred a GTS/kickout/Rock Bottom combo, but that just sounds like WAY too much planning. How silly of me?

Yeah, so I wasn't really big on how the actual match concluded. It's almost obvious that Rock/Cena is gonna happen for the second year in a row. So, that whole 'Once in a lifetime' build turns out to be nothing more than hot air? So, what do we call this? Twice in a lifetime? What if they do it next year? Third time is the charm since we ran out of ideas? There's a possibility of things changing between now and then, but I highly doubt it. So, I have some issues about this scenario WWE just played out. I understand why WWE did this move at the end of the day. Let's be honest here. Rock/Cena 2 will make WWE the most money. I know wrestling purest will argue that it's insulting for a part-time performer to be the WWE Champion for a couple months, but WWE is a business. What's the main goal of a business? To make as much profit as possible. I know the IWC will never see it like that, but that's just the way things are. The IWC only makes up about 10-15% of the wrestling audience, so what's the likely move? Side with the 85% of the casual audience, or side with the 15% people who will complain about the product regardless of what you do? Seriously, I could retire if I got a nickel every time I've read 'I done watching WWE after tonight….blah blah blah', but I digress. At the same time, I understand a lot of the complaints after tonight. You go with the money-making match, but it's a money-making match that probably shouldn't happen. By making Rock/Cena 2 a WWE title match, you're basically telling people Cena will win this time around. For me, that just ruins the idea of Cena/Rock 2. I personally have no problem if you want to do the match again, but I find the value of the match to go down when you make it for the WWE title. Either Cena ends up winning or they come up with some wrestling logic that allows a MITB holder to cash in on the WWE title. At this point, that's what I'm hoping happens. I want to get this out of the way right now since I've probably confused a few people with some of my thoughts. Should the Rock still compete in the WWE? Of course he should. If he wants to compete part-time, I have no problem with that. Undertaker only competes for one match out of the year. Doesn't that make him a part-time performer as well? If Taker can do it, why not the Rock? While I have no problems with Rocky competing on a part-time basis, he really doesn't need to be going after the WWE title. What does Rocky gain from being WWE Champion? At this stage of his career, not a whole lot. So, a lot of people also wonder what happens to Punk after tonight? Well, Punk and Vince has been building up for the last few months. Here's what I'm thinking they got planned for Punk. Since we never saw the true conclusion to Punk/Triple H, I can see Trips helping his father-in-law to deal with the true villain of the WWE. I personally wouldn't mind seeing Punk/Trips happen at WM. There's still a lot more they could do with this rivalry. Again, this is only my speculation for the time being. I'm sad that Punk's title reign is over since I know he could do more with it, but it was time for him to drop the title. He had one of the longest world title reigns in the last 29 years. He's still the best heel in the WWE. I'm sure Punk will get many great programs after this amazing run. Wow….That was a long rant. I apologize for that, but I had a lot to say. I understand WWE's intentions of making the most money with another Rock/Cena match, but don't feel it should be for the WWE Title. I'm not big on this match happening again, but I understand it, I will live with it, and I will move on with my life. 

Winner via pinfall and NEW WWE Champion: Rock

Overall Impression:
I know everyone is talking about how this PPV sucked, but I didn't see it like that. I found the show to be enjoyable with some of the matches tonight, but the show suffers from being way too predictable. The purpose of the night was to line the cards up for Rock/Cena 2, but it was those intentions that made this night way too obvious. In fact, I think THIS bothers me more than anything else that happened tonight. I can accept Rock defeating Punk for the WWE title. I can accept 'Twice in a lifetime'. I can accept Rock/Cena for the WWE title…..within reason, but I cannot accept the predictability factor this night brought out. Where were the surprises? The only thing that was a surprise was Punk's fake victory. Sure, WWE trolled everybody, but I can a least appreciate the idea of thinking outside the box. Despite the predicability of the show, I was entertained for most of the evening. If I have to give WWE Royal Rumble 2013 a score between 1-10 and 5 considered average on this show, I have to give this show a 6 out of 10. I was a fair show, but it can leave you a bit disappointed because of the predictability factor. I know smarks will make smart-ass comments about me being entertained by this, but I'm only telling you my honest feelings about the shows. I write reviews based on MY thoughts and not what smarks want me to think. I try to make you see things from my perspective, while always being open to seeing things from your perspective. This was something I needed to get out of the way since I know this show is gonna get a very mixed opinion. Well, I think I've gone on long enough. I can probably keep going, but I need to wrap this up. We still have a long way to go until WM 29, so who's to say what will happen with the rest of the card. Can't judge a book by its cover, right? That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 


  1. Great review again, man!

    I actually think they're doing Cena vs Punk vs The Rock (c) at WM29. That way it's a little less 'predictable' and people won't moan about the once in a life time thing.
    I really wanted Lesnar to interfere tonight because he's a heyman guy too but obviously that didn't happen and now it looks like HHH Vs Lesnar II (another possible rematch, which would suck).

    One more thing, you seriously thought Jericho would return? I'm like never shocked and was totally shocked when his music came on!
    Nice prediction!

  2. I enjoyed the rumble this year.

    Show and Del Rio put on a good match, I liked the chokeslam off the set spot they did. The duct tape spot was a bit of a cop out though, I know what they were trying for but I'd rather have seen a more clean finish to the match.

    Hell No and Rhodes Scholars have had better matches together but it was still a decent match, although I thought now was the right time to have a title change and then begin the build to the break up and fued.
    And what was the point of Vickie giving them their numbers? they way they made out I was expecting Bryan to have an early entry and for Kane to come out at 30 but they pretty much came out after each other late in the rumble.

    I was completely surprised by Jericho showing up, and not even the dirt sheets thought he was a possibility so you thinking he was a chance must mean you're some kind of wrestling Nostradamus(which could have made for an awesome gimmick in the late 80s/early 90s).
    While Kofi's chair spot was clearly meant to be the highlight for the rumble, to me the real highlight was JBL proving that he is a wrestling god by saying 3MB is just like if the Mean Street Posse walked into a karaoke bar.
    A quick word on Bo Dallas, he's got a good look and some good in ring skills but I just find him to be so bland. His brother Bray Wyatt is a far more interesting character as are a few others in NXT. I do like how they did a good job of putting him over during the match though, and there is an obvious fued setup between him and Barrett when they want to make him full time on the main roster.

    Punk and Rock put on a great match, shame they overbooked the ending. For a moment there when the lights went out I thought they were going to do a swerve and have it be revealed that Punk was the one attacked which could have made for an interesting angle.

    It'll be interesting to see over the next few weeks how they bring together the card for Wrestlemania

    1. I kinda interested in this Wrestling Nostradamus idea. It sounds kinda interesting. Something tells me if WWE did it today, it will be called the Superstar Nostradamus, but I digress.

      I definitely have to agree that Punk being taken out instead of the Rock would've made for a great angle, but surely the internt wouldn't complain about a title match ending in a no contest, right?

  3. Nice review.

    Mostly agree, and I absolutely agree about the most disappointing element being the manner in which Punk / Rock ended. Rock gets powerbombed through the announcers table, crawls back in the ring exhausted, gets taken out back and whipped for a few minutes by an angry punk, nearly eats the GTS, and then suddenly... comeback spinebuster into People's Elbow, and .. that's it? That's how you end the longest title reign in 25 years? Punk has gotten up after worse than that in almost every match he's ever wrestled. Not a good sell. Felt more like an obligatory "ok, everyone knows what's going to go down now, so why waste time playing it out. Just pin him and be done with it" moment than something special.

    Also not thrilled with Rock / Cena II at WM29. Moreso because they don't have a lot of other good angles running now either. Punk lacks a strong feud now, since it won't be with Rock if he's moving on to Cena. Ryback is played out and pointless now that Punk no longer holds the title. One of the most talented wrestlers and best mic workers in the company left with very little momentum a few months out from WM, not good.

    That could change, of course, either at EC or by going with a Cena / Punk / Rock Three-way, which I think is certainly a better option.

    Oh, and my long-shot, left-field possibility - evidence surfaces that it was NOT The Shield who interfered. Maybe someone that turns the story in a whole new direction, or maybe just someone who serves no purpose beyond wanting to cost Punk the title. Regardless, if it wasn't the Shield, then McMahon's attempt to strip Punk has no grounds. If it has no grounds, restarting the match also has no grounds. End resulted - the whole situation gets "Lawyered Up," the strap is handed back to Punk (very grudgingly, of course), and he carries it into WM29, possibly for a Streak vs. Streak match with 'Taker. Hey - I can dream.

  4. Just as water is wet and the sun rises in the east, this PPV sucked for those who are the outspoken (aka IWC). Even if WWE does some weird swerve where the title is given back to Punk, you can (as Vinnie puts it) guaran-damn-tee there will be another outcry. I guess the time between now and WM 29 means nothing cause something could happen where Rock may lose the title.

    Now to show I am not totally biased towards WWE, here are some things that are grinding my gears. First off, I guess the company wants Cena to break Austin's record of most Rumble wins before he retires. That will be quite a slap in the face to the Cena Sucks crowd. As much as find Team Hell No entertaining, could it hurt to have the tag belts change hands and make the division seem relevant. You could have removed the tag team guys from the Rumble match and set up a #1 Contender match earlier. And before you start thinking won't that extend the time of the PPV, here is something I thought of for the final match. Rather than making the assumption The Shield attacked Rock, they could have made it look like Punk was attacked. I know the stipulation was if the group interfered, Punk would lose the title. But I am sure it was more for if The Shield attacked the challenger. Or when the lights come back on, both guys are laid out. I'm sure this could be seen as a "Dusty Finish" or "Night of Champions Revisited" but it would be something that would not be considered "predictable".

  5. Punk may get involved with shield as they cost him the title.
    Ryback and randy can start a feud over there RR encounter allowing randy to turn heel.
    Brock VS taker or taker VS punk.
    Shield can also attack vince which will allow trips to get involved against them.
    del rio vs show
    Jericho vs dolph for WHC.
    There are a lot of interesting things WWE could do other than concentrating on twice ina life time.
    But alas that is not gonna happen.

  6. In the coming weeks it will turn out that the Shield are headed by The Rock... This was his plan all along. It was his way of keeping the Title on punk. And making him look the Hero now and then the Heel as he drops the title to Cena at WM29

  7. I thought the actual Rumble match itself was really exciting..I was watching at a friend's house and the place blew up when jericho was #2, guy is awesome. I did not like how Cena won against this point I could care less who wins the Rumble but it's the finish that matters..Cena maybe could have done AA out of the ring to ryback? Or just something more exciting, because the rest of the rumble was exciting..but the finish just felt weak, like Cena didn't actually overcome anything. As for the Punk v. Rock match...well, you pretty much said it all right. Good review

  8. That "Twice in a Lifetime" match between the Rock and John Cena at WM29 for the WWE Title will probably happen with Cena winning the belt. I mean, the golden boy of the WWE has to avenge his loss against the Rock at WM last year, right?