Monday, January 14, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 1/14/13 Review (20 Years of Ridiculousness)


What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 1/14/13. What happens this in the 20th Anniversary of Raw? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with Vince McMahon. Looking at the Raw intros for the entire history of the show, it just clicked in my head that Raw has had some terrible themes. Smackdown isn't far behind, but I'll stop right there before I continue to piss off Attitude Era fanboys. While Vince gives us a rundown of what will happen later tonight, Big Show comes out to complain about losing the WHC. Alberto Del Rio arrives to poke the bear. What this basically boiled down to was a WHC match at the Royal Rumble between Del Rio and Show. I was stunned that the crowd ate up Del Rio's antics, but Del Rio actually did a fair job with this. Maybe a face turn is what the guy needed. I stand by my original theory that putting the title on Del Rio was made to set up Dolph's eventual MITB cash-in. At the same time, I think they want to get Del Rio over as a face before they green light that rivalry. In the meantime, witness the giant act like a pansy. Aww, good times. 

Match #1: Randy Orton vs Wade Barrett
This match was pretty fair to watch. The finish comes when Wade hits the Bull Hammer for the clean victory. Yeah, you read that correctly. I was a little surprised to see Wade pick up the clean win here. Maybe WWE is gonna start to give a s*** with one of their mid-card titles? Well, I'm probably reading to much into it. I think this also shows how Randy's stock has really fallen in the last six months. I almost forgot he was a 9-time world champion. The lesson of the day is don't do drugs. 

Winner via pinfall: Wade Barrett

After we get a dose of Eve failing to get some dark meat, we get a follow-up with Team Hell No and Dr. Shelby. The Doctor originally brought in Rhodes Scholars to help Kane and Daniel Bryan deal with their anger, but all they do is question Shelby's credibility. I think the only thing to question about Shelby is how he can't act. This guys needs lessons from Hell No. Shelby snaps and orders Kane and Bryan to attack Rhodes Scholars. Shelby's master plan is coming together. The world will be overtaken with men in mask and beards. Muhahahahahahahahaha!!!

Match #2: Kane vs Damien Sandow
It wouldn't be the 20th Anniversary of Raw if we didn't at least see one match under two minutes. Kane wins with the Chokeslam. 

Winner via anniversary: Kane

Mick Foley is revealed to be the first inductee in the Hall of Fame. Just as he's about to have his moment, Shield arrives to surround Foley. Just as they are about to attack him, Ryback arrives to help out. I think the commentators went a little overboard in talking about how Ryback was going up against three guys. I know they want to put him over, but you can tell when they get a little out of hand. Don't be shocked if Cole and King blew a load while delivering that line. Randy and Sheamus arrive to make it a fair fight. The good guys end up standing tall. After the match, Ryback claims that he wants Shield. Feed me Shield!!!

That sounds painful. Anyway, I think we got a six-man tag match set for the RR. I think it sounds like it could be a lot of fun. Hopefully it lives up. 

Match #3: Eve vs Kaitlyn; Divas Championship
The real man's man!!! Oh……that brings back funny memories. Booker's stipulations for this match is Eve would be stripped of her championship if she got DQ'd or counted out. This was a fair divas match. It wasn't great, but it's tolerable. The finish comes when Kaitlyn wins the match with a Spear. We officially have a new divas champion. I think this move was gonna happen really soon. I personally like Kaitlyn and think she can be a good champion, but I also think WWE isn't gonna do anything with this title until it comes time to crown a new champion. They can always prove me wrong, but its been a while since the divas title has meant something. 

Winner via pinfall and NEW Divas Champ: Kaitlyn

Match #4: CM Punk vs Brodus Clay
Brodus got pissed off for Punk telling him the truth about his gimmick last week. Brodus proves how he's a gimmick by remaining in his stupid character. My bad!!! Brodus does well, but there's no way WWE would have Brodus defeat Punk. The finish comes when Punk makes Brodus tap out to the Anaconda Vice. After the match, Punk cuts a quick promo. The promo wasn't as good as last week, but I think it does the job. 

Winner via submission: CM Punk

Match #5: Sheamus vs 3MB; Over-the-top-rope match
I'm actually surprised Heath Slater got the victory. Not that it matters. That will probably be the biggest win they got all year. Sheamus kills 3MB after the match. 

Winner via squash: Sheamus

John Cena talks….

Seriously, Cena needs to calm down. I felt I needed to take a Tylenol in the middle of that speech. Ric Flair comes out to be the guest of Miz TV. This was just an excuse to go down memory lane. WWE did plenty of that as the night went along, but I'm glad they didn't go overboard with legends. I have no problems with legends showing up, but they have to mean something. Raw 1000 had a lot of pointless cameos……just thought I would put that out there in case people use that as an excuse. After some 'woos' and Flair struts, Antonio Cesaro comes out and claims these two are typical Americans. All you need is a fat guy claiming he's gonna start working out tomorrow and you're all set. Miz and Flair work together to take out Cesaro. The segment ends with Flair elbowing dropping his jacket. It isn't a Flair segment until he elbow drops the jacket. I actually enjoyed this segment. I thought it was a lot of fun. And because I'm incredibly immature, here's this clip. Why? Because I can….

Match #6: Daniel Bryan vs Cody Rhodes
Cody Rhodes' mustache looks like a hamster is sucking on his face. Bryan wins with the NO Lock rather quickly. Flair's appearance took away what this match was gonna offer, but I think this was a blessing. Anytime to take Cody's mustache away from television is probably a good thing. Apparently, Eve quits WWE. My God……WHAT A RELIEF!!! Let's move on. Her character was okay, but I personally don't think this is a big lose. The diva division is only there for fan-service, so I don't really see the outrage this is getting. 

Winner via submission: Daniel Bryan

Match #7: John Cena vs Dolph Ziggler; Steel Cage match
This worked just like last week's match. The only difference was that this was a cage match. Dolph hits everything he can, but Cena still manages to kick out. You could bury this guy under 20 feet of concrete and he'll STILL find a way to win a match. Even with AJ tapping into her insanity and Big E being the worst bodyguard ever, Cena hits the AA and pins Dolph cleanly. You know, I'm kinda disappointed by this finish. After all, you've been building Cena to be this superhero. In fact, I almost expected Cena to poop out his own superhero cape and wear it around the ring. Why stop there? He would then proceed to fly out of the cage by punching it with his mind. Then all of the sudden, you hear John Williams' Superman song playing in the background. And then you listen to the audience going. There's our hero!!! It's Cena!!! It's Cena!!! IT'S CENA!!! He's flying!!! He's flying out of the f***ing ring!!! Look at him go!!! LOOK AT HIM GO!!! He's unstoppable!!! LOOK MOMMY, HE'S FLYYYYYYIIIIIIING!!!

….Umm…..sorry….

Winner: F***ING FLYING!!!

The final segment of the night is the Rock concert. He sings a song that mocks Vickie Guerrero and that's about it. He finally gets serious and calls out CM Punk. After the Rock proclaims he will be the champion after the Rumble, the two get into a brawl. That pretty much ends the show. Kind of a letdown ending, don't you think? It wasn't bad, but it felt like this was plan C or D and not A or B. Grading is fun!!!

Overall Impression:
Amazing how there's so much hatred for this episode because it didn't bring out a bunch of legends. The IWC never seizes to amaze me. I hear complaints all the time about how they hate how legends ruin the shows. Yet, you complain about not having the legends? So, you want the legends, but at the same time, you don't? That makes absolutely no sense. The PPV should be built up, not a show that puts together a bunch of pointless cameos that are only there as an excuse for people to whip out their nostalgic boners. Besides, it isn't like WWE made a big deal with their 20th Anniversary. They only mentioned it for the past two weeks, so I personally thought it wasn't supposed to be that big of a deal. Another complaint is that this episode didn't really celebrate the 20th anniversary and there was nothing memorable. While that may be true, one thing this episode did was build up the PPV. I can at least give them credit for doing that. They built up every match that will most likely happen at the PPV and I think the card looks pretty good going into the RR. To me, I think this was more important than bringing in legends to get a cheap pop. Was this episode great? Not by any stretch of the imagination, but I at least thought it was fair. I can understand that people will be disappointed with this show because there was very little legends, but I think you need to look at the bigger picture. The Royal Rumble is in two weeks and I'm sure WWE wants that PPV to sell. What's more important? Moving forward to build up RR and WrestleMania 29, or focus on Attitude Era clips and talk about the past? That's my personal thoughts on the subject. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. If I pissed you off in this review, let me apologize right now by doing absolutely nothing about it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

11 comments:

  1. I really enjoyed this review (first time i've read your reviews)

    The Shield vs Ryback, Sheamus, and Randy is going to be great, hopefully Randy will turn heel on Sheamus leading to a feud and possibly becoming the leader of the shield? If not related to the shield, he needs to turn heel.
    His character is stale, and miz and del rio's face turns have created a gap for randy to fill up.

    What do you think?

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    1. I think a month ago, I talked about how Randy needed to turn heel. He's just a more natural heel than a face. I personally wouldn't mind seeing this move really soon. Thanks for the feedback. It's always nice to hear back from new viewers.

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  2. I may be in the minority here but that brawl between Rock and Punk was lame. All they did was roll around the floor while holding each other, no fist-flying at all.

    I am guessing the Shield will be involved in the rumble match since Sheamus, Orton, and Ryback (I think) are in it. So far we have that and title matches on the card. And I agree with others saying that it's time for Orton to be a heel again. He is so much better as an aggressive bad guy.

    I'm going out on a limb here and predict that Ziggler will NOT win the World title when he cashes in his briefcase. Thanks to Cena breaking the chain, WWE can pull a twist and have the MITB winners come up on the losing end in title matches. It certainly will piss people off but at least it is refreshing.

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  3. How is Dolph supposed to be successful when Super Cena kicks out of all his finishing moves? Lame, Vince needs to retire already.

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  4. I like how Cesaro 'dislikes' Americans/America yet carries a US flag with him, he needs to take some tips from the Un-Americans, or maybe not, RIP Test...and as one of the guys above said, were Rock and Punk rolling around on the floor hugging????? cos that was the weirdest 'brawl' i ever saw! if every time Kane and Daniel Bryan were hugging, why didn't they send out the referees to break it up? wrestling logic! i love it, you love it! :D

    As per usual though great review :)

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  5. Dude you f**** suck at writing reviews! First you were about to bash the past WWE intros, Im supposing you didn't like the ones that were in the Attitude era! No surprise there! And you didn't care that there were no legends there...What else is new? You probably didn't like the AE, and you are a lame ass smark. GTFO Your review is trash

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    Replies
    1. Awwww, it appears somebody needs some milk and cookies to make them feel better. Haters are gonna hate.

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  6. I wouldn't be surprised if WWE decides to let Kaitlyn hold on to the Divas Title until AJ Lee takes it from her.

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    Replies
    1. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if this happened.

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  7. Hey WrestlingNerd, can u or do u know anyone who gives accurate spoilers for WWE? and if so would u be able to share them with me...if u could get them for all the matches on the 27th of January that would be great.

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