Tuesday, January 22, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 1/21/13 Review (Beat the clusterf*** challenge)


What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 1/21/13. How does the 'go home' episode fair? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with Vickie Guerrero and Paul Heyman. They both complain about the abomination that was known as the Rock Concert. I seriously think that was the worst Rock Concert ever, but that's just my opinion. Because of his music, Vickie has banned Rock from entering the building. Hmmm….banned from the building? How will he ever get inside the building? I mean, it's impossible, right? Yeah, it's really hard to show sarcasm in a written review. In the back, Rock is giving a speech in how he'll get in the building. I love how there's a security check in the middle of the hallway. I guess you can buy them everywhere these days. If you smell what the Vick is cooking? I don't even know if I want to continue to watch this….No, I've seen worse to start off the show. 

Match #1: Antonio Cesaro vs Randy Orton; Beat the Clock Challenge
In tonight's show, we have a series of BTC matches. I'm sorry. Apparently, it's a #Beat the Clock Challenge. My mistake…..Really? Do we have to hash-tag everything? Whoever gets the best time will get to choose their spot in the Royal Rumble. Well, it was about time they do something like this. It wouldn't be RR season if they didn't do something that involved the RR entry. This match wasn't too bad, but I was left wanting more. I makes me think a Antonio/Randy rivalry wouldn't be such a bad idea somewhere down the road. The finish comes when Randy hits the RKO for the victory. The clock stops at 11:36.

Winner via pinfall: Randy Orton

Match #2: Big Show vs Zack Ryder
Surprise surprise. Brad Maddox finds his way in the building by doing commentary. Rock is really gonna have his hands full trying to get in the building after that performance. During the shenanigans of Maddox, Show wins with the KO punch. Woo Woo Woo, you job it. That should be his new catchphrase. 

Winner via pinfall: Big Show

Match #3: Ryback vs Heath Slater
Just as Pauly is talking backstage, Maddox interrupts him once again. Paul changes his mind about him because of his persistence. Pauly vows to make Maddox's dreams come true. My dream of a mediocrity will finally come true!!! Shell Shock for the kill. After the match, Ryback talks about winning the RR match. I love how they talk about how the winner of RR will headline WM. More likely that you will open up the show, but I digress. 

Winner via pinfall: Ryback

As Rock continues to find a way in the building, CM Punk is in the ring cutting a promo. Punk claims he will make sure Rocky doesn't win the WWE title and the people don't matter. Still a pretty fair promo, but not one of the best Punk has to offer. It's still interesting, but you're left expecting more. 

Match #4: Dolph Ziggler vs Miz; Beat the Clock Challenge
Sure enough, it didn't take long to hear IWC rage over Miz using the Figure Four. I don't see why it should matter, but that's just my personal stance on it. Miz has the Figure Four locked in, but shenanigans by Big E and AJ help Dolph stay in the match. Dolph hits the Zig Zag to steal this match at the 10:56 mark. Dolph now sets the time for the BTC challenge. 

Winner via cheating: Dolph Ziggler

Team Hell No graduates from anger management. Wait, they're the first graduates from Dr. Shelby's class? I'm guessing everyone else in the course ended up killing somebody to fail this class. And apparently, AJ really went all out in hiring help for these two. Again, sarcasm is hard to show in a text review. The two fight over who the valedictorian is, but that goes nowhere fast. Shelby ask everyone to hug it out at the same time. This is the most ridiculous thing ever. So many bro hugs all at one time. It's cheesy, but I can appreciate the laughter. I thought there should've been a scene were Daniel hugged Justin Roberts, but I still enjoyed the scene for what it was worth.  

Match #5: Kaitlyn vs Alicia Fox
Kaitlyn hits the Spear and wins the match. Tamina is watching this match backstage. Kaitlyn, Layla, and now Tamina? Wow, the diva division is starting to fire u---No, no it isn't. I can't even do that with a straight face. 

Winner via pinfall: Kaitlyn

Pauly comes to the ring and basically calls the WWE Universe a bunch of idiots that can't wrap their mind around Punk's words. Speaking of which, where's Damien Sandow tonight? I was curious to---nevermind. Pauly's here to dumb it down for you. The Rock interrupts the speech. Well, he manages to get a ticket thanks to the cops from earlier in the evening. That must've been some special ticket to allow the person to come through the ring, but that's wrestling logic for you. The Rock ends up quoting Martin Luther King. Yeah, that's a good way to eat up all the cheap pop quota. After the Rock's speech, Shield takes out Rock. The injustice Rock served was making the Tooth Fairy. Part of me wishes they would've waited for the Shield attack until the PPV, but it probably won't matter in the long run. It was clear that the Shield was going to get in the middle of this rivalry at some point. After all, I'm sure the Shield would have plenty of reasons to not like the Rock. Regardless, it adds a little more intrigue to the Punk/Rock match this Sunday. 

Match #6: Sheamus vs Wade Barrett; Beat the Clock Challenge
During the match, Dolph and crew show up to make sure Sheamus didn't beat the clock. Sheamus finally hits the Brogue Kick, but runs out of time. That means Dolph wins the BTC Challenge. In a quick backstage scene, Dolph is gloating about choosing his entry spot, but Vickie breaks the bad news. Dolph can only chose #1 or #2. Did WWE just make a toilet joke? Yeah, I don't think Vickie is bitter towards Dolph/AJ. Not really sure what this will mean come Rumble time, but we shall wait and see how Dolph ends up performing. 

No Contest

In a quick backstage scene, Vince McMahon claims he'll strip Punk of the WWE title if Shield interferes. Hmmm…..Remember Pauly and Maddox earlier in the night? Hey, don't be surprised if that's what happens at the RR. 

Match #7: Alberto Del Rio vs Tensai
I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume Tensai ate Sakamoto. I really don't know why since Sakamoto was probably the most interesting part of this character. It turns out Del Rio and Show will compete in another Last Man Standing match. How original. Del Rio really has found a way to connect with the casual audience in such a short time. Strangely enough, I'm actually enjoying his work as a face. Makes me wonder why they didn't do this sooner. Del Rio wins with a Moonsault. To the moon!!! Bob Backlund is being inducted in the Hall of Fame. It should've happened a long time ago, but the same could be said about many people who still haven't gotten in the Hall of Fame. I would continue on this rant, but something tells me I'm gonna piss more people off by going down this road. 

Winner via pinfall: Alberto Del Rio

For the whole evening, WWE was hyping up Cena addressing the WWE Universe. Well, what it amounted to was Cena saying he was gonna win the Rumble…..shocking? He already did this a few weeks ago, so what was the point of this? 

John Cena: Hey guys, I'm just gonna repeat myself because I need more money…..The champ is here….

Cena continues to make the casual fans happy by talking about modern day pop culture. Thankfully, somebody decides to stop Cena's ranting. Sheamus, Prime Time Players, Randy, Miz, Team Hell No, Antonio, and 3MB all claim they will win the rumble. Geeze, is WWE trying to set the record for how many microphones they can use at one time? Did they break the budget with this move? The show ends when a brawl breaks out as the ring fills up with possible rumble entrants. We are getting an early preview for the RR match. Right now, there doesn't seem to be a clear cut winner for the rumble match. There's 5-6 top choices, but nobody really leaps out as the #1 guy right now. I think keeping it a secret is the best way to go. I find it adds more intrigue and mystery to the match. Shhhh….It's a secret to everyone. 

Overall Impression:
For a 'go home' episode, the show at least does what it's supposed to do. They built up the PPV in order to increase interest for the event. I think they did that well tonight, but this wasn't the best episode either. For me, this falls in the category of average. The matches were okay, but that's common for 'go home' episodes. The show really didn't have anything that leaped out at you. Punk/Rock had some decent promos, but the best promos they've done was the first encounter. The final segment builds up the Rumble match and while there's still a mystery factor in who's gonna win the match, I think they could've done more to build up this match. Did we forget that the winner of this match gets a world title match at WM? It's almost easy to forget that fact. They didn't build up all the matches for RR, but that's what Smackdown is for…..If you even bother watching the show these days. Tonight's episode was fair, but you aren't missing much if you decided to skip it. I still have high expectations for the RR PPV, so I really hope it doesn't disappoint when the time comes. Strong emphasis on 'I hope'. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Part II of the Best and Worst of 2012 is finally available. Yeah, about time I get my ass working on those. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

9 comments:

  1. I'm going to start measuring the quality of each raw show by how many times I'm forced to shake my head. My neck was sore after the cena promo.

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  2. Gee, Cena, like you really need more money.

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    1. He's gotta pay for his next T-shirt design.

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  3. Am I the only one who feels like they're being forced to be a hater? I dont want to be a hater but I feel like they are just not even trying anymore. There have been great exceptions to this but it seems like maybe 2 out of 10 segments are well done. I know that its wrestling and it will always be stupid at times but I appreciate when there is real thought in the progression of a story line. There is so much talent on the WWE roster but it feels like every MNR was thrown together on Monday afternoon. And its not about "pg era" or "attitude era" is just about lack of creativity or interesting personalities. It seems like every babyface is pretty much the same person with minor differences. I love wrestling always have but in the last few years I just dont feel the effort is really there creative department. I know it's always easy to be a critic but I just feel when in watch these shows I always say what a waste. I'll stop whining now but I just wondered if im alone in my observation? Wrestlingnerd what do you think?

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  4. "Cena to address the WWE Universe tonight. Oh Boy!" Half the crowd boo'ed that joke of a wrestler..his "jokes" were horrible and he hardly talked about the rumble..forget eras, WWE has just become less serious about its own product that's all. At this point they know they will sell whether the programming is compelling or stupid. Really sad =\

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  5. With all due respect Mr. Nerd why do you insist on always worrying about what people are going to say if you offer up an opinion on something? Ex. "I would continue on this rant, but something tells me I'm gonna piss more people off by going down this road."
    Why care who you are pissing off ? Afterall it is your review is it not? I understand you are sarastic (as am I) but you should just give your opinion however you want to, your name is on the review! lol. Sorry, just offering some friendly feedback, for the most part i like your reviews so keep it up.

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  6. Another great review.

    When you say there's No-one at number 1 in terms if winning the rumble, I have to disagree.
    It seems like Cena has pretty much wrapped it up, the other contenders would be Ryback, possibly the loser of the WWE title, Lesnar (unlikely), or Orton (unlikely, although I'd like that).
    I'm curious though, who'd be your 5-6 choices?

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  7. So the Shield did end up attacking the Rock. Better late than never I guess. Interesting to see if they will be involved in the Rumble match.

    What I have noticed in the past decade or so when it comes to this PPV, you have guys who are involved in matches prior to the Rumble and then take part in the Rumble itself. I guess it has to do with how the talent roster is used (including the "development"). It seems there isn't enough time for those with little to no screen time to make an impression and then take part in further programs. With the amount of talent the WWE has, you would think they would use them to have intriguing storylines or throw in something like a #1 contenders match for the tag titles on the PPV.

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  8. The WWE rapes me for 3 hours every Monday

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