Saturday, March 30, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Smackdown 3/29/13 Review (The Return of John Roboinaitis)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Smackdown 3/29/13. Wait, I still review this show? What the f--

Robots Rise Again
We open up the show with nostalgic whoring. That's seriously what the Rock's doing with this story time deal. Well, it's actually a combination of nostalgic whoring and mastering the cheap pop, but who's keeping track of that? That's when we get a surprise from the greatest robot to ever grace professional wrestling. Ladies and gentlemen, John Laurinaitis….

I'm not sure if it's sad or not that I'm more interested in a Laurinaitis appearance than the Rock. For some reason, I always enjoyed Laurinaitis. Was he terrible on the mic? Absolutely. Was his personality awful? You better believe it. Did he really smoke an entire cigarette company? It's pretty damn likely, but there's still something about the guy that just makes me laugh. Roboinaitis wants to help the Rock at any cost against John Cena. Rocky likes this offer so much that he takes out Johnny. I love how Johnny sells all of this. Like taking the GTS from Punk, it's like he couldn't give less of a s***. The scene briefly talks about the Rock/Cena match, but who cares. For a split second, I was reminded of how People Power had the touch…..It had the power….YEAH!

Filler Part I
Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett had a match that didn't last for very long. Thanks to the Miz, Wade is distracted long enough for Jericho to hit the Codebreaker. It's really hard for me to care about Wade/Miz. Both of their stocks are so low and the title is so underplayed that it's laughable to even make this mean something. Remember when holding the mid-card title meant something? This is also back when they would actually use the damn thing. At this point, they might as well unify both mid-card titles. The Brock Lesnar/Triple H build for tonight consisted of an interview by Paul Heyman. He does a good job to sell the match, but the most distracting thing to me was Pauly's black eye. Seriously, I thought that thing was gonna come alive and eat Heyman. Did you see the size of that thing? At least Mark Henry and Ryback had more development on SD than they did on Raw. Still, kinda hard to get overly excited for a bench pressing contest. I'm not saying it isn't impressive, but it isn't something that engages me. The scene ended when Henry choked out Ryback with the bar. I don't know why, but I'm imagining the Peter Griffin/knee deal when he's trying to catch his breath. 

Filler Part II
Daniel Bryan teamed up with Kaitlyn to go up against Dolph Ziggler and AJ. Kaitlyn wins the match for her team with a Spear. I really would like to know why the Spear has become her thing know. I know this is something I should've brought up a long time ago, but it's a bit odd that this all of the sudden became her finisher. Meanwhile, Jack Swagger kills a Punjab and a Leprechaun because Zeb Coulter got hungry. I wonder if that came with a Maple Shake? Anyway, Ricardo Rodriguez shows up after the match (ended in a double countout if you cared) to distract Swagger. Alberto Del Rio arrives from behind to take out the 'Merica Boy. Zeb starts to think about a Mexican dessert until Ricardo hits him in the back with one of his crutches. The bad guys retreat and that was about it. Yeah, I'm just gonna assume that the creative staff forgot about the WHC rivalry this week since there was almost no build to witness. Talk about being extra lazy. The final match of the night was Sheamus, Randy Orton, and Big Show vs Rhodes Scholars and Antonio Cesaro. Antonio talked about the meaning of life with that promo. It just moves your soul if you listen to it. Either that or it was the mating call of a pelican. Or better yet, a space pelican! I love how JBL is freakin' out about Sheamus delivering the Brogue Kick to Cody Rhodes. Don't do it! He has a future as a porn star. Well, he's got the creepy mustache for it. After the match, Shield shows up in the audience, but Team WWE takes it to the Shield. The show ends with Shield retreating as the three guys show they CAN work together to take out the Shield. Does anybody remember when I said Randy was on the verge of a heel turn back around TLC? It's been a few months, but I still feel he's really close to doing something sinister. I might as well toss this out there for the time being. I think Randy will screw over his team at WrestleMania. I can't really explain why I'm thinking this. It's just a hunch I have. 

Overall Impression:
Not really sure I decided to review SD this week. I haven't completely taking SD off of this page. I will still talk about it when I feel something of value is worth talking about. If anything big happens on the show, I will still review it, but I don't feel the need to review it if they're gonna resort to filler. I think the reason I jumped into this one was because of John Laurinaitis. There was just something refreshing about seeing Mr. Excitement on tonight's show. It may be considered sad that I got more enjoyment out of Johnny's presence than I did for the rest of the show. To be fair, the rest of the show wasn't bad. I think from top to bottom, SD was probably the best show out of the week. I just found Raw and Impact boring, but this episode wasn't too bad. It wasn't what I would call great or something worth checking out. I don't really know why I liked this showing. Maybe I was in the right mindset to enjoy this? I have no f***ing idea, but at least I can be honest about it. Tell me what you thought of the review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

Friday, March 29, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling 3/28/13 Review (Open Fight Night = Crrrrrraaaaaazy)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 3/28/13. How does Impact fair this week? Let's find out and start the review. 

Aces & Eights brawl quota has been reached for the day
We open up the show with Jeff Hardy. The man tries to hype up his title match with Bully Ray, but all I heard was blah blah blah. As long as he sells merchandise, he doesn't need to put effort into promos. Speaking of merch, Bully and Mr, Anderson talk about how Hardy always gets second chances handed to him. Make sure nobody tells John Cena about this. He'll flip his s*** once he finds out. Anyway, Aces & Eights attack Hardy until Kurt Angle's band of misfits come in for the save. Again, I love how Card Games shows their toughness by running away from the numbers advantage. I know it's wrestling logic since heels always run away from fights, but it's still kinda dumb. Because of Anderson's comments, Hardy challenges him to Open Fight Night. Sigh….Why does this concept still exist? I really would like to know since I don't see it getting a whole lot of use….

Anyway, I wasn't really blown away with the opening. Anderson gave another bland promo. Remember when this guy put effort into his art? I really hate it when I see people who have the tools to be something, but piss it away due to laziness. Since I didn't review last week's show, I should bring up how Hardy became the #1 Contender by defeating three other guys. I love how Hulk Hogan's logic for taking back the world title is to have members of his own army beat the crap out of each other. That's a good thinkin'. Wrestling logic can make you stupid sometimes. 

If I had a nickel every time I saw this match….
I think I'm noticing a trend with both companies. WWE and TNA aren't doing a whole lot with the tag division. It just seems that both have the same matches in the division every single week/month. It gets monotonous pretty fast. Both companies need to go back to the drawing board cuz while they have elements that are entertaining (Team Hell No/Greatest Factor), they have lost sight of the division as a whole. Chavo and Hernandez earned another tag title shot by defeating Bad Influence. Gooooooooooood…….

Fan-service Time
I'm talking about another women's segment this week? Must be a really slow week in the wrestling world. If you missed last week's show, you would recall Taryn Terrell getting fired as an official and hired to be a Knockout. Wasn't she already a KO? I think if you're a woman in that company, you're already a KO. That's the way I see it, but TNA wants to make this mean something for the next month, so just play along. She wants to challenge Gail Kim, but Gail answers her challenge by having Tara show up. I thought the rules to OFN were if you got challenge, you fight? I'm guessing Gail paid off the Hogans with a quickie. Just as Taryn is awaiting Tara, Gail attacks her. The ladies keep attacking Taryn until Velvet Sky jogs in for the save. Seriously, she's jogging to the ring. Don't strain yourself too hard, Velvet. Wouldn't want to pull a hamstring. After a commercial break, the ladies are talking backstage until Taryn's Bitch-Dar goes off to attack Gail and Tara. I love how Gail and Tara are casually walking past the ladies while being completely oblivious to their surroundings. Apparently, they had a derp moment. It's so stupid that it's hilarious. That seriously made my day. I really don't have much to say about the Taryn/Gail rivalry. I'm indifferent to this storyline. 

Hogan vs Sting: Part 3467
Hulk continues to blame Sting for Bully getting one over on them, but Sting claims Hulk should take the blame since he went along with it. Wow, things are getting hostile between these grumpy men. It got to the point where Hulk wanted Sting to leave his ring, but Sting wanted to right. I'm gonna kick your ass, brother! Just…..Let me take my medication and nap first, brother! Brother!!! BROTHER!!! Where's my brother? And thus, Hulk's retirement years was born. What the hell am I talking about? I really don't know, but this is seriously what's going through my head as I'm watching this. Instead of dealing with the problem, Hulk and Sting have resorted back to fighting each other. What they need to do is f*** each other and move on. If they do that, I'm sure if will solve their problem. I can be a dick sometimes. 

Rockets & Sixteens 
There was a brief insight to the Gut Check performers for next week. Hey, I didn't know Rey Mysterio was working in TNA….

While James Storm is trying to get answers out of AJ Styles, AJ just stands there wondering if his Hot Pocket was cooked properly. Card Games attacks Storm and AJ walks away. Styles has become the equivalent of an emo person based on his actions. Nobody loves me, so now I'm gonna go home to cut my wrist. Ugggggh. Kurt Angle and Eric Young come out for the save. Kurt pulls a Teddy Long and declares a tag team match, playa! The show has another 30-40 minutes left and we're barely getting to the second match. Open Fight Night, Ladies and Gentlemen! Don't forget that! Anyway, Wes Brisco picks up the victory with a rollup on Angle. What's up with Brisco during this scene? He kinda had the crazy-eyes going there for a moment. Just more Aces & Eights stuff that isn't engaging. If it wasn't already apparent that TNA was rolling out filler, I think this should convince you now. In fact, I might as well talk about the final match between Hardy and Anderson, but not before Anderson wants to go crrrrrraaaaaazy tonight. What the hell happened to him? Did he snort up all the cocaine TNA had lying around? Seriously, I am concerned for his health. This was probably the best match of the night, but something about it couldn't keep me invested for very long. At least I didn't see 5-6 matches that reached a grand total of 10 minutes. Anderson wins the match when he whips out that crrrrrraaaaaaazy hammer, but Hardy intercepts it and uses it on Anderson for the crrrrrraaaaaazy DQ. After the match, Hardy goes insane with crrrrrraaaaaazy weapons. Okay, I need to stop doing that. After Bully finally saves hi--What took him so long to save him? Court date meeting with Brooke's attorney? Bully saves Anderson from a table kabob. The show ends with Hardy naming the stipulation for their future world title match. It will be Bully vs Hardy in Full Metal Mayhem. I like this announcement. This match will be featured on free television and I think it can be a lot of fun until it comes time to do the shenanigans. Hardy definitely works better when he doesn't talk. He should just become a mime on this show. His promo skills isn't what got him over. It was his in-ring style that did it, so they should just stick to that. If it isn't broken, don't fix it. If only wrestling companies would remember that phrase more often. 

Overall Impression:
Tonight really felt like a filler episode. Not a whole lot of new things really happened and it was mostly just a follow-up to everything that's happened after Lockdown. This wasn't a bad episode by any stretch. It was mostly a dull showing from my perspective. I think I come out like this because I'm not the most engaged with the Aces & Eights angle. It has gotten a little better since Bully took the lead, but it still feels like the entire show is centered on this angle. While it's the main storyline, it doesn't need to cloud everything. Again, I understand the idea, but we can use more breaks from the stable if you know what I mean. I like elements of the Styles angle. Most people wish he would say something, but I feel him being silent is okay for the time being. Still, he does need to explain himself at some point. I'm really digging to find things I'm enjoying with TNA, but I'll admit that I've lost some interest with their current direction. I really hope things change sooner, but something tells me it could be a while until that happens. Well, I better wrap this up. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 3/25/13 Review (There's an episode this week? Where did it go?)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 3/25/13. Who will I piss off this week? Let's find out and start the review. 

Punk Mocks Death
We open up the show with CM Punk mocking 'They'. Oh no! 'They' are showing up in WWE? Run away!!! Anyway, Punk talks about beating Taker and continues to disrespect the urn. Taker comes out to retrieve the urn, but Punk and Pauly manage to escape. I know I talked a week ago that I was enjoying the build to this match, but I've had a week to reflect on this and I'm starting to notice that WWE is being kinda lazy with this rivalry. Do you really think Punk is gonna defeat the steak? As of right now, not a chance. They have something going with Paul Bearer and the urn, but so much more could be done. How about Punk trying to hurt Kane or something? I guess you can blame me for being spoiled with the previous build for the last few Taker matches, but they could've done something to add that tension to Punk and Taker. I'm not saying the tension isn't there, but it just doesn't feel like the streak is in any danger. If the streak isn't in danger, what's the point to doing a Taker match? Is it because it's gonna make them a lot of money? Did I just answer my own question? Just to clarify, I don't completely hate the build of this match. I like what they're doing here, but I can't help but feel this to be underwhelming since I know they are capable of doing so much more between these two. 

Just as Fandango is about to walk away from another match, Chris Jericho comes out to attack him. Umm….why? I know the two had some interaction last week, but it consisted of Jericho mocking the guy. I'm sorry, but the previous scenes don't really justify this deal…..Until I remembered Smackdown. Yeah, I almost forgot about their interaction on SD last week. If you hadn't seen SD, you would be totally loss. At the same time, I cannot blame you for not knowing this. WWE crams so much on Raw that SD is just an afterthought these days. Once he retreats, Dolph Ziggler comes out to have a match with Y2J. In a good match, Jericho wins with Walls of Jericho. After the match, Big E takes out Jericho, thus Dolph and Big E make their claim at the tag titles--what? Fanlosero shows up and finally does something besides dancing. After the post-match beat down, he reminds Jericho to say his name right. It appears Jericho will be working a match with Faaaaaaandddddddddaaaaaaaangooooooooo at WrestleMania. I got some mixed views on this idea. While Jericho continues to do his role of helping out young and upcoming talent, I don't want to see him put this guy over. I know that's a terrible thing to say, but I don't want to see this character go anywhere. Look at what we got here. We are dealing with a Dancing with the Stars reject who should own a summer home in Malibu. You really want to see this character go far? I won't judge you if you enjoy the character. You obviously see something in this guy that I don't, but don't be shocked if this guy is in TNA in about three years. Just saying. 

It's Jobberin' Time!
Mark Henry destroys the Usos with a case of beer. Later in the night, Ryback feasted on 3MB in the same fashion. That was literally all the build you get for Ryback/Henry on Raw this week. Seriously, that's it? We're two weeks away and that's all you got? Come on, man! You gotta give me more than that! How about Ryback eating Henry's hand-child or Henry taking out Ryback's steroid supplier? I'll take any of those at this point. I should note the two will compete in a weight lifting competition on Smackdown this week. Depending on how things go over there, I might actually talk about SD this week. We shall wait and see. 

Mexican Pizza
Alberto Del Rio and Antonio Cesaro had a very short match thanks to Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter. Zeb distracts Del Rio, which allows Swagger to attack Ricardo. Antonio picks up the countout victory since Del Rio was busy dealing with Swagger. Very little development with the WHC match this week. I guess that's what SD is for, but I feel more could be done right now. Oh, and there was a Team Hell No match against the Prime Time Players. Nothing of importance happened here, so let's just skip it. 

It's time to play the Brit
Triple H comes out and claims he has always fought with his career on the line, so he's prepared for the worst against Brock Lesnar. Well, that was short and to the point. Some underwhelming build if you ask me. It was so underdone that it seems pointless to even talk about it. Hey, if they aren't gonna try, why should I? Wade Barrett comes out since he appears to have a match next. Wade and Trips end up engaged in an eye-staring contest. Most people who talk about how bad-ass this looks, but I think it looses its flavor based on Wade's current stock. Trips kicks him in the crumpets to end this interaction. Again, very underwhelming if you ask me. After a commercial break, Wade has a match with the Miz. Thanks to the earlier attack from Trips, Miz wins via submission. Hard to get excited for a rivalry that was slapped together out of nowhere. Where's the storyline? This entire paragraph has been underwhelming. See, it's causing me to be redundant. That's where we've gotten. 

More jobs on the way
While the Shield is taking care of a group of misfits, Team Rhodes Scholars defeats Failed Fatties thanks to the Bella Twins. Talk about having a lot of pointless matches this evening. At least there was some interaction between Shield and Team WWE, but even that was lackluster. Sigh….I'm seriously out of it right now. Tonight's show has been nothing more than an endurance test. I've seen bad shows, but bad shows at least try to offer something. When you watch a boring show, you're s*** out of luck. It really pains me to say that, but that's personally how I feel about tonight's show. Well, that isn't exactly true. You could always turn off the television……So, back to the review. 

I'm talking about a diva segment? Whaaaa…..
A match that was a year in the making…..Kinda? Sort of? Almost? Well, not really, but you get the point…sadly. The two have a match and AJ is able to pick up the victory via countout. This pretty much ensures a diva match for WM. I know this is stuff I shouldn't point out, but does anybody remember me saying how Kaitlyn being champion will mean nothing until it comes time to crown the next divas champion? Well, ask and you shall receive. 

Q & A time
The WWE had various current/future Hall of Famers asking Rock and John Cena questions about their upcoming match. This was definitely the most intriguing part of the show, which is odd coming from me since I haven't been very intrigued with Rock/Cena 2. I think the reason I enjoyed this scene is it honestly felt for the first time all year that WWE actually did some proper build with this rivalry. I know they've built this match up for the last two years and there's a decent amount of people who are sick of it, but I can at least appreciate effort if you're going roll with this money-making move. Tonight's build was done so well that it got me a little interested in the match….Just a tad. I'm still not completely sold on the match, but at least they put some effort this time around. Still, it makes you wonder where all of this was back at the Royal Rumble. I think it could've turned a lot more people's head if they started this sooner, but better late than never I suppose. Speaking of which, what's Cena next excuse gonna be? He Rock Bottomed himself?

Overall Impression:
While the final segment had something to finally offer for WM, I can't say the same for the rest of the show. As I mentioned somewhere in the review, this was a boring episode of Raw. Not only that, but we are two weeks away. Two weeks away and THIS is how you build your biggest PPV of the year? 

You said it, Lemongrab. This really was unacceptable. It almost felt like they didn't try this evening and are just sitting there counting all the money they will get for this event. I really hate when I got to come on here and be really negative, but that's honestly how the show ranks with me. I also have to be a bit concerned with WM based on the build for the big event. I sound like a total smark right now and I hate how I'm sounding, but the build towards this event has felt somewhat empty. There's still a chance this PPV will turn out well, but we will have to wait until April 7th to find out. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 3/18/13 Review (WrestleMania overload)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 3/18/13. How will I get trolled this week? Let's find out and start the review. 

The battle of the pointless cereal boxes
We open up the show with John Cena plugging his new T-shirt. Seriously, that's all he's doing here. Way to suck up to the Pittsburgh audience by wearing yellow and black. Come on, you expect me to buy that as coincidence? The Prime Time Pla--Oh, excuse me. Apparently, this is Darren Young and Buckwheat. What is going on here? You have Titus O'Pancake talking about Coco Pebbles and whatnot. What is this s***? Actually, I kinda like this. It was funny, but mostly because of how bad it was. This is what happens when King Fruity Pebble writes the script. I think the commercial break lasted longer than the actual match. Your winner is John Cena White. 

Feed me dark meat!!!
Yeah, who seriously thought David Otunga had a chance against Ryback? After the match, Ryback promotes his WM match with the Shield until Mark Henry interrupted. Teddy Long is about to promote a tag team match until Vickie Guerrero takes Ryback out of the six-man tag match to go up against Henry. Yeah, that's something I can get down with. I seriously don't know what they were thinking by putting Ryback in a tag match against the Shield. How is he gonna be a big singles star if he doesn't win some single matches at the PPVs? Besides, I was growing tired of Ryback being thrown in the six-man tag matches. I think taking down a big guy like Henry at the grandest stage will do more for him than the tag match. Replacing Ryback in the tag match will be Big Show. Based on the events for the last few weeks, this was the best course of action. I think I mentioned how I don't mind Show being apart of Team WWE to take down the Shield. He has nothing else going on, so I'm fine with him taking part in this match. Still, I always find it funny how the audience will immediately start cheering you for one act of heroism. One good deed magically erases all the dick moves you've done for months. Gotta love that wrestling logic. 

Filler time...
I think Fandango is the slowest promo cutter in the history of this company. He skips out on his debut yet again. I wonder how the career of faaaaannnnjoooobbbeeeeeeer is gonna fair at the end of the day. We also bear witness to Damien Sandow walking away from R-Truth. Really? Sandow walks away from Truth? Even when they write you into a rivalry, you still have no storyline. Yeah, something seems very wrong with this picture. Meanwhile, the Bellas want to go on a mustache ride. The filler is strong with this part of the show. Why am I even talking about this? 

CM Punk and Undertaker
So, you're probably wonder what more could CM Punk do to piss off Taker. Well, how about juggling the urn and dropping it on the ground. I don't know why, but I can see Punk actually destroy the urn in the upcoming weeks. This is all done to fuel their rivalry. Even though he isn't with us anymore, Paul Bearer is playing a big role in this rivalry. Can't wait to see more build between the two. At the same time, it's kinda sad that two weeks of build for this match is more intriguing than the 2+ year build for the two Rock/Cena matches. 

You crazy bitch!
The match between Team Hell No and Puerto Rican Express goes nowhere, but this was mostly put together to have AJ attempt a distraction. We would find out later in the night that Team Hell No will defend the tag titles against Dolph Ziggler and Big E at WM. So, let me ask a legit question. Has Big E even had a match on WWE programming? You've been there for 3-4 months and just getting around to your first match? Wow, that is a kick-ass contract. I want one of those. I'm not really sure how I feel about this match. It does give them something to do, but I can't help but think this feels forced. It was like they started throwing darts on a board to determine what everybody else will do at WM. Anytime you get a triple threat/fatal 4-way, it means the dart landed in between two. What the hell am I even talking about? 

Jack Swagger and Alberto Del Rio continue to build upon their rivalry for WM. Swagger took out Ricardo with the Patriot Lock. In terms of the storyline, it appears Swagger broke the ankle of Ricardo Rodriguez. Oh great. Who's gonna wash Del Rio's car now? Speaking of which, did Del Rio's car get repossessed or something? I've talked about my positives and negatives with the Del Rio/Swagger rivalry. While they've done a good job in building up the rivalry between Del Rio and Zeb Coulter (Seriously, that's the true rivalry in all of this), I think they could've done a lot more for Swagger. I think part of the reason some people aren't taking a liking into this storyline is because of how Swagger got rushed into this spotlight. Wouldn't you have preferred for Swagger to start this 'We the People' routine about 3-4 months ago? If they did that, I think it would've added a lot more to this rivalry. I'll admit that the reason it took me a while to get into this program is because of how Swagger was just thrown into this spot with barely any development. They've done well in the short time to make the match mean something, but time also worked against this angle. If you're interested, the Del Rio/Cody Rhodes match was at least entertaining. 

I'm skipping the Dolph/Kofi and Celtic Viper/3MB matches since they were both short and didn't amount to much. It was during these spots where we find out a couple of new WM matches, but I already talked about them in the article and don't feel like repeating myself. In the meantime, here's this song. Why? Because I can. WrestlingNerd Page: Where professionalism doesn't exists….

Intercontinental Championship match
I'm starting to wonder if the WWE Championship was ever real. It's about as transparent as Casper right now. I'm guessing the Rock didn't pay off the via satellite crew last month. In a fun match, Wade Barrett steals the match with a rollup. This doesn't really end things between Wade and Jericho. My vote is still for Wade/Jericho at WM. As for Miz, he could work the concession stands. Hey, people need to get their beer and popcorn, am I right?

Contract Signing Extreme!!!
It's time for the contract signing, but not before we look at some Touts. I'm sure this happens on the site, but I want to see them broadcast some trolled Touts. Brock vs Trips in a Duct Tape match. Brock vs Trips in a Tuxedo match. How about Brock vs Trips in a Bra and Pan---I'm gonna stop right there. Nobody should ever witness that. We find out that the match they will compete in is No Holds Barred. This can be kinda similar to their first match, but at least the rules are a little more flexible this time around. Hard to say if this match will end up better than their first encounter. Part of the reason I haven't been excited for this match is because of how the first match went. Brock and Trips aren't bad in-ring performers, but their chemistry for that SummerSlam match was completely off. While the two told a good story in their promos/segments, they just couldn't tell a story at that match. If they can greatly improve on this, I'm sure their WM match will be much better than their SS match. I just hope that's the case. The other stipulation for the match is Trips' career is over if he loses the match. While the stipulation can add something to the match, it takes away from it as well. It almost makes it apparent that Trips is gonna win this match. At the same time, who's to say Trips hasn't thought about retirement? I doubt that, but you never know. Personally, I could've done without the stipulation, but it does add something to the match. 

Overall Impression:
This week's episode was meh. While a lot of foreshadowing happened, this wasn't one of the most intriguing shows to watch. While a lot of matches really didn't stick out or make an impression, there are a couple of fair matches to watch. There was a lot of WM announcements for this show. While the WM card is looking a little better, it really isn't pulling me in as much as it should. It probably has something to do with all the rematches that are taking place. Not only rematches, but rematches aren't fully pulling me in. I'm sure casual fans will get a kick out of the card. After all, that's where all the money is coming from. Well, I'm gonna wrap this up since I'm late with this review….Dammit! Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

Friday, March 15, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling 3/14/13 Review (Aces & Sleeps)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 3/14/13. Generic opening, followed by generic intro. 

We open up the show with a tag team match. So, instead of opening up the show with Bully Ray or the Aces & Eights, you start off the show with th--never mind. As soon as I started to question this, Card Games takes out Chavo and Hernandez. Bully makes his way to the ring and bullies Hulk Hogan to fire the entire stable after setting up everybody for nine months. Yeah, like wrestling logic would allow somebody to make a decision that would actually make sense. Why do that when we can watch more Aces & Eights brawls between TNA guys for another year? Oh God, imagine if this is still going on a year from now? Now would be a good time to start crying. So, the shows starts off the way I expected. Bully went back to his roots, cut a heel promo and it works. Like I mentioned in the Lockdown review, Bully fits as a true bad guy. At the same time, will anything truly change now that Bully has been revealed as the President? Will Jobbers & Eights finally mean something? Well, only one way to find out. 

Two matches = Nap Time
For attacking Gail Kim during the KO title match at LD, Taryn is on probation. That's her punishment? How does that equal a punishment? But the better question is should we care about any of this? The KOs have a tag team match that goes pretty much nowhere. Gail and Taryn had another moment of shenanigans, while Velvet Sky wins with the In Yo Face. I hate that name for a finisher. It just sounds like you're trying too hard to be hip and cool. Meanwhile, Card Games is having 100 bottles of idiots at the table. These scenes played throughout the night. They consisted of Bully trying to talk to his wife and Bully thanking all the members of the stable if they end up getting fired. Wow, these guys are taking total loss of income rather well. I would be pissed if that happened to me, but this is Aces & Eights we are talking about here. I think they are satisfied with the 50 STDs they got from all the hookers. Another Robbie E/Robbie T match? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? And did I seriously hear 'Feed me more' chants? The thing I found the most hilarious was hearing this chant and Terry respond by dancing. I think all that testosterone shot up into his brain, thus he don't think so well. Terry dance now. Terry do good.

Sting is trying to talk to Hulk about a new plan of attack, but Hulk has had enough of his boyfriend's request. Apparently, it's Sting's fault since he trusted Bully. Yeah, and it surly had nothing to do with Hogan and Sting having NO REAL PLAN to take down these guys. Yeah, who f***ed up there? Maybe if we close our eyes, the problem will just magically go away? Seriously, this might as well have been their plan. In the meantime, Hogan claims the movie is over. There was a movie playing during all of this? Why didn't somebody tell me? Dammit, I missed out!

AJ Styles returns. Aces and Nines? 
Everybody, please welcome back AJ Styles. Um….AJ Styles. AJ Styles? Instead of Styles, Bad Influence comes out to play tribute to Trademark. They dress like Copyright and say the catchphrase' Oh, what an infringement!!!' Yeah, so they were trying to spoof the Road Warriors. What I found hilarious is how Bad Influence is trying to avoid saying it, but the commentary team says it without even thinking about it. At this very second, Vince McMahon is counting his invisible money. For some reason, James Storm comes out to defend the honor of the Trademark symbol. Geeze, it seems like Storm is forever stuck in this Styles/Bad Influence drama. Storm and Daniels proceed to have a match that is watchable. Storm picks up the clean victory. After the match, Styles finally shows up and attacks Kaz and Daniels. Styles and Daniels is starting all over again…..

Styles attacks Storm? What? Styles did something different? Well, it isn't groundbreaking, but at least it's something. It's hard to determine what Styles' intentions are for the time being. He isn't face, but isn't a heel. He's just a dick for the time being. This will at least keep my interest until we get an answer, but why do I get the feeling we won't get an answer for another three months? It just sounds like something TNA would do. I really hope I'm wrong, but don't say I didn't tell you so. 

Cheap Park Central
Joseph Park has really mastered that 'skill'. While Joseph continues to absorb all the cheapness, Matt Morgan interrupts since he doesn't like Joseph making a mockery out of the wrestling business. Yeah, cuz all the dancing characters in the business had nothing to do with that. Joseph is about to leave the ring until Morgan claims everybody from Chicago is a bunch of cowards. Joseph Park is fighting for Chicago? What's next? Steve Bartman to help him out? Anyway, Joseph is about to fight, but Morgan says he does things on his time. To make the lawyer character even more gullible, Morgan takes him out with the Carbon Footprint. Apparently, these two will have a match next week. Oh boy, I just can't wait for that exciting match. Seriously, what kind of feud do you think will come out of this? Say it out loud. Morgan vs Park? I don't even want to think of this right now. It won't end pretty. Of course, they could always prove me wrong. 

Sting vs Austin Aries
Instead of taking his frustrations out on the person who made him look like a fool, he wants to fight Aries? Yep, makes total sense to me. Tazz's dirty heels joke was terrible. Speaking of which, is that really gonna be the name of Roode and Aries' tag team? I honestly would've preferred Greatest Factor, but it was also my idea. This was probably the best match of the night, but not one of these matches really stuck out. To be fair, TNA just got off a major PPV, so it's common to get a lot more explanation than action. The finish comes when Card Games attacks Sting, thus resulting in a DQ. After the beat down, Bully wants Hulk to fire them…..again.  Oh no! The show's starting over! Noooooo!!! After a commercial break, Hulk comes out and says firing Bully would be too easy. Too easy or ridiculous? Hogan's new plan is to…..Send the locker room out to fight the stable? It hasn't worked for nine months, Hulk. Why the hell would it start working now? The key to defeating Aces & Eights is to make it a match and not a pointless brawl. Card Games takes down TNA and that's how the show ends. So, you end the show the same way you've been doing for the last nine months? I'm sorry, but that's pathetic. Reckon I probably shouldn't have expected anything, but that was just lazy. This is so 'NWO' that it hurts. Will an idea that worked 15+ years ago really help out TNA? While the NWO did a lot of wonders for WCW, it also spelled disaster for WCW. I know there are people who like this angle, but I'm finding this more of a chore to watch rather than fun. There's something wrong when that starts happening. If I wanted to watch WCW, I'll watch old WCW tapes/DVDs. I don't need a watered-down version of it on Spike TV. 

Overall Impression:
I really wasn't a big fan of tonight's show, but I think I'm realizing why this has been happening to me with the current product. I've made it apparent that I don't like the Aces & Eights storyline because it has dragged for months, the stable is nonthreatening, and the cast of people in this stable just aren't intriguing or interesting to look at. This isn't the worst storyline I've ever seen, but this storyline has really tired me out. I'm Aces & Eights-out to the point where I'm looking at the other things on this show to see if something will pull me in. Once in a while, Card Games gets me to pay attention, but that moment doesn't last for very long. If you like the Aces & Eights, that's fine. You obviously see something out of this that I'm not seeing. I think it's that time to call it a night. If I keep going, TNA fans will curse me out. Yes, how dare you have an opinion different from me. See, I'm already getting the ball rolling. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

Monday, March 11, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 3/11/13 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 3/11/13. We have a lot to get through, so let's begin. 

We open up the show with Undertaker paying tribute to Paul Bearer. In fact, WWE would be doing this throughout the night. I think it was a classy move. Just as Taker is paying tribute to Bearer, CM Punk interrupts the segment for the sake of being a dick. Punk doesn't acknowledge Bearer and mostly talks about ending Taker's streak. So, a couple of things I need to bring up since I was gone for a week. I already mentioned in the TNA reviews, but I extend my thoughts and prayers to the friends and family of Paul Bearer. He was a legend in his own ranks and he will be missed. Next, my thoughts on the Punk/Taker idea for WM. I like the idea, but I'm not 'in love' with it either. Punk needed something big to do for the WM season and facing Taker was the best way to go. I know we've seen Punk/Taker matches in the past, but there's something about it that makes it seem new. I think it's because a lot has changed since the last time these two went up against each other. Taker has become a seasonal performer, while Punk has made himself a big deal in the WWE with his historic title reign and bad attitude. Punk vs Taker sounds like a cool idea, but part of me wishes they would've done the build for this sooner. There's still four weeks until the match, so I think they will get more than enough time to make this match mean something. As of right now, I'm more interested in this match than Twice in a Lifetime. Because of Punk's actions, Kane would be super pissed about this and will challenge Punk later tonight. I think you done goofed. 

Big Show vs Seth Rollins
This is the first time a member of the Shield is competing in a singles match and it lasts for about three-seconds. The Shield attacks Show and takes him out with the triple Powerbomb. So, either Show's heel turn is over and is gonna go back to being the gentle giant or they are only turning him for WrestleMania season. I guess there's worse things they could've done. At least it gives Shield another target. It also gives Show something to do, so I don't have many hang-ups with this. Still, I find it funny that Show might be the person who has turned face/heel the most during his tenure. Why not just turn him neutral? 

Daniel Bryan vs Dolph Ziggler
Oh, I'm sorry. Sudden Bryan/Ziggler feud that emerges out of nowhere. Huh? Thanks to AJ and Big E, Dolph picks up the victory on Bryan with the Zig Zag. After the match, Big E continues to punish Bryan. I'm not really sure what the point of this segment is. I guess Bryan/Dolph is something that could happen at WM? F*** if I know. And what's up with Team Hell No? They were starting to build tension between them, but this has since been thrown out the window for the last few weeks. Just what is going on over there in creative? WHAT'S GOING ON?

Michael Cole bought tickets for the new GI Joe film in advance? Well, that was a waste of money. We miss out on the debut of Faaaandaaaaaaangoooooo. Yeah, cuz people are holding their breaths for the debut of this guy. Seriously, do you think this character will go anywhere? It's being played by the guy who's biggest accomplishment in pro wrestling is eating a cake. Team Rhodes Scholars continue to prove that WWE isn't reading the scripts from previous weeks since they seem to be a tag team yet again. They barely start their match with the New Age Outlaws until Brock Lesnar takes out Billy Gunn and Road Dogg with the F5. New Age Outlaws? More like the Bronze Age Cavemen if you ask me. Hey, that gives me a really stupid idea for a future tag team! Anyway, Brock agrees to a match against Triple H, but only if he gets to make the rules AFTER Trips has signed the contract. So, either sign a death wish or sit at home doing nothing? Wow, such a tough choice. I guess we have to wait another week to find out what Trips will decide. Brock vs Trips in a Duct Tape match. Book it!!!

Mark Henry pretty much kills Kofi Kingston in a match, followed by another squash match where Ryback takes out Heath Slater. Two squash matches in a row? Oh, that never happens in pro wrestling…

After the match, Henry returns to flex his muscles at Ryback. The two have a…..power-off until Henry decides to retreat. So, it appears Ryback/Henry is a match set for WM. I honestly don't have a problem with this. I know people will complain that this will suck due to match quality, but something inside me doesn't really care for that and really wants to see these big guys fight each other. Something about it just appeals to me. In fact, I find it better than the Ryback/Show match the IWC was projecting for months. 

Alberto Del Rio vs Antonio Cesaro
Del Rio and Cesaro had a decent match. It ended with the Cross Armbreaker. Del Rio would have one more appearance later tonight, but we'll talk about that when it happens. Afterwords, we get a John Cena/Rock video. Actually, that's about the closest you came to having Cena or the Rock on the show. While they should be showing up all the time to build up their rivalry, I'm kinda glad we got a week off from it. Do you really have to build this match? The match has been built for the last few years, so almost seems redundant at this point. Yeah, how does it make you feel that you got build-up upon build-up? Build-upception? 

Team Rhodes Scholars vs Randy Orton and Sheamus
Earlier in the night, Cody tries to get some Kaitlyn action. That's when Damien Sandow demonstrates something I like to call cockus blockitius. To be fair, Damien at least gives the team the Bellas to fall back on. Oh yeah, it appears that Bellas are back in WWE. I guess they couldn't live without that easy paycheck. I really don't have anything regarding their return. The diva division means nothing, so just enjoy the four reasons you enjoy the Bellas so we can move on. In a fair match, Sheamus and Randy win with their finishers. 

Chris Jericho vs Miz
After a dreadful Highlight Reel, we get a match between Jericho and Miz. Honestly, it looked like the script for this scene was written up in five minutes on a single piece of kleenex. Wade Barrett is so busy being Wade that he forgot to write himself into a program. Brad Maddox was really bad in this scene. It almost seemed like he wasn't paying attention to the dialogue and decided to 'wing it'. Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey….hey! His delivery was so bad that I didn't even know what the match was until we came back from commercial. The match didn't last long since Wade would interfere in the match. I think the goal of this scene was to get a rivalry going between Jericho and Wade. It just seems like Miz is here for the ride? Why is the Miz in the middle of this? He technically never ended his rivalry with Antonio. It just kinda stopped. Yeah, that's progress for you. Because of the interference, we get a triple threat match set for next week involving the IC title. 

Jack Swagger vs Sin Cara
Jack Swagger's 'Merica. A plot against 'Merica! How dare you do this to 'Merica! You know what I want to see happen on this show? Zeb Coulter caught eating a burrito. I don't know why, but I just want to see it so I can laugh. I thought the video was hilarious. We need more Ricardo Rodriguez comedy segments. Who's with me? We the pizza love to eat people….wa--

Sin Cara gets taken down by Swagger in a matter of minutes. After the match, Swagger continues the attack until Del Rio makes the save. I'm really liking the Del Rio/Swagger rivalry. Well, it's really the Del Rio/Coulter rivalry, but you get what I mean. It works very well, especially in today's time. 

I got a serious question here. If the stuff on the WWE App is 'exclusive', why do we find out about it three minutes later on television regardless if you have the App or not? That one will make you think. One thing I've noticed about tonight's show is all the damn movie trailers. WWE really went overboard with this, but how can you turn down the free money? Come on, even you would do this too. 

CM Punk vs Kane
Time for the final match of the night, but not before Cole reminds you that WWE is going overtime tonight. Umm, doesn't that happen almost every week? How is that news? In a good match, the finish comes when Taker's gong distracts Punk long enough for Kane to hit the Chokeslam. It seems like the show's gonna end with Taker and Kane paying tribute to Bearer, but Punk gets back up and takes out Kane with the urn. Since Taker doesn't believe in running, he takes too long to make it towards Punk. Punk escapes with the urn to end the show. While I can see some people calling an injustice for WWE using Bearer's death for further their storyline, I don't think it is. It seems more like honoring the man than disrespecting him. That's at least how I see it. 

Overall Impression:
If you ignore the movie trailers, this show wasn't too bad. I thought it was fun to watch and I finally feel like I'm on the road to WM. I may not be big on some of the matches for the big event, but at least they're trying to add intrigue to the event. The show featured some fair matches and a couple of segments that were hilarious. At the same time, WWE paying tribute to Paul Bearer also made this show mean something. I thought it was well done and I can at least recommend a good chunk of the show. It wasn't perfect, but since when is an entire wrestling episode perfect? I think some of you noticed that I tried something a little different with the presentation tonight. It's something I'm trying out to see how it works. I find it takes out some of the filler that shows up on these shows. After all, it's a review. We don't need to talk about every, little, thing that happened. Tell me what you think of this format? You can also tell me what you thought of my review and tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

Sunday, March 10, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Lockdown 2013 Review (RIP Buddy Ray: 2012-2013)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Lockdown 2013. How does TNA's second PPV of the year fair? Let's find out and start the review. 

Match #1: Kenny King vs Zema Ion vs Christian York; X Division Title 
We open up the PPV with the most pointless match of the night. Seriously, there's no rivalry here. I'm aware that Kenny won the X Division title a few weeks ago against RVD, but why should I care? The X Division hasn't meant anything for months. The championship is basically a game of hot potato. Who will hold onto the damn thing until your hands start to burn? It appeared that RVD couldn't hold onto it very long since he didn't make it to Lockdown. The division will never be on the same grounds as the world title bracket, but you can at least put some effort into this. One thing to mention is TNA's LD structure. In years past, every match at this PPV was under a steel cage. This year, only a few matches will be under this stipulation and the rest would be regular matches. I personally don't have an issue with this. I know people will argue that it messes with tradition, but do you really want to see Joseph Park in a steel cage match? Yeah, that's what I thought. Kenny retains the title. Since he won the title a few weeks ago, it would've been odd to see them crown a new champion. Then again, it isn't like it matters. I still think Kenny has the worst entrance music in pro wrestling today. Seriously, what is that? What even is that? 

Winner via pinfall and still X Division Champ: Kenny King

Match #2: Joey Ryan vs Joseph Park
So, whatever happen to Joey's storyline? They had something in motion, but then it just stopped and he disappeared for weeks until being thrown into this. You think with that extra month to build up the PPV they would try to build these lower-card matches. Why do that when we can see Buddy Ray? The lawyer character just won with the power of a Super Mario ground pound. Mamma Mia!

Winner via ass: Joseph Park

Match #3: Velvet Sky vs Gail Kim; KO Title
There's some punches and kicks. I think the referee was attempting to do something. Yeah, I'm sure that won't cost her later tonight. Did you enjoy your fan service?

Winner via boobies and still TNA KO Champion: Velvet Sky

Match #4: Robbie E vs Robbie T
I'm gonna play a video game to pass the time….


Winner via pinfall: what's his name

Match #5: Greatest Factor vs Bad Influence vs Nacho Libre; Tag Titles
In what has been the best match so far, Austin Aries and Bobby Roode work together to take out the competition. If you're looking for a reason as to why Bobby has been missing for weeks, you aren't gonna get one. What? You expected answers? You expected a reason? It's pro wrestling. You're expecting way too much from the writers. 

Winner via pinfall and still TNA Tag Champions: Austin Aries and Bobby Roode

Match #6: Kurt Angle vs Wes Brisco; Steel Cage
After all these weeks, it still seems Wes is very shaky in the transition of being a heel. He looks the part, but he can't seem to get a grip on that hellish attitude. Does anybody else feel the same way? The match was okay for what it was worth. Thanks to D'Lo Brown, Wes steals this match. I really have nothing else to mention with this match. At least they're trying to make Wes stand out. Hard to say if he has all the tools to live up to expectations, but we shall wait and see. 

Winner: Wes Brisco (Aces and Eights won a match?)

Match #7: Lethal Lockdown
The hilarious part was seeing Aces and Eights get beat up for five minutes with weapons, but somehow find a way to fight back. You think they would be dead with repeated trash cans to the head, but that's wrestling logic at its finest. In typical Aces and Eights fashion, they lose when Eric Young hits a move from the top of the cage. I'm not even shocked anymore. This is the most nonthreatening stable ever. A box of newborn kittens is more intimidating than Aces and Eights. Not one of the best LL matches I've seen, but there's something about it that was at least enjoyable for me. I know most people were expecting a swerve to happen, but we still have one more match to get through. Will our swerve still happen? Let's find out.

Winner: Team TNA

Match #8: Jeff Hardy vs Bully Ray; TNA World Championship
Tazz just stuttered, "Get your face out of my face". It's things like this that make me question why I'm a fan of pro wrestling. The match starts off fair. It seems Hardy and Bully have good chemistry with ea--Aces and Eights! Get it off! Get it off my television screen! Oh, they're gone? Well, that was odd to say the least. I guess they get paid for every appearance. Earlier in the night, Hulk Hogan told Bully to make the audience remember you at the end of the day. Well, he would do something nobody thought he would do. He blows up his fire breathin' twitta machine thanks to Brooke Hogan. Well, I guess the reviews over. See you next time…

Okay, that's not funny. Once Aces and Eights arrives again, Bully shows his true colors and attacks Hardy with a hammer. He picks the bones and we have a new world champion. You would think Hogan would use his GM powers to overrule the match or restart it, but that would overthrow the power of the script. You can never question the almighty script! The script knows all! The script is everything! Nobody can take down the script! Is that really true? Haha….NO! Anyway, Bully proceeds to cut a promo. He reveals the relationship and working with Hulk to be a scam and reveals himself as the President of Aces and Eights. The show ends with fans throwing bottles in the ring. A cliche ending, but it fits considering Bully's antics. I mentioned last week how Bully revealing himself to be the leader wouldn't change much. While the shock and move were both necessary for Bully's title reign and character, I still stand by those words. Look at what Bully has been working with for all these months. An asshole, Eric Bischoff's semen, a rookie, Grizzly Adams, trailer-park trash, an annoying announcer, a bobble-head, and a half-brother. The only person who can come out of this looking good is Bully. To be fair, that's the idea. You make Bully the leader since he has the most to gain. I look at a move like this and keep thinking that this should've happened months ago. I'm sorry, but I'm really not that shocked over this move. In fact, I'm kinda indifferent to all of this. While Buddy Ray dies and the bully returns back to his true form, we had to go through a lot of bulls*** to get to this point. Think back to the last nine months of this storyline and remember what's happened. It's kinda hard to forget all the stuff that happened in between. I'm probably being very harsh on this. I don't hate the idea of Bully being the leader of this group. In fact, this was the best move TNA could've done, but I think the reason I can't fully love this is because of all the disappointing reveals, brawls, and shenanigans it took to get to something that should've happened last year. Well, I guess it's better late than never. If you're willing to forgive all the garbage that happened with Bully's character and this stable, you probably enjoy this scene a whole lot more than myself. Just to clarify before a fanboy or mark comes in with their flag, I don't fully hate this scene. I agree that Bully works better as a heel and I would rather have him be the leader of this stable. I just wished that he had a better army and the reveal didn't take so long. You gotta admit Aces and Eights has been hard to digest for months. 

Winner and NEW TNA World Champion: Bully Ray

Overall Impression:
I'm really torn with this show. The first half of the PPV was very forgettable and something I highly recommend you don't really sit through unless you're extremely curious. The second half of the PPV was better. The match quality did go up, but it didn't fully pull me in. At the end of the day, I didn't hate this PPV, but I also didn't love it. The PPV will be remembered when the Aces and Eights showed off their leader. It will also be the day Bully goes back to his true self and becomes the world champion. The best heel in TNA is now the world champion. I know I predicted months ago that Bully would be the leader of this stable. Maybe that's why I'm not fully loving the PPV? I think after watching pro wrestling for all these years, I've become self-aware of all the angles/plot twist they can muster up. Am I reaching the point where I cannot be shocked anymore? Could that be the case? I guess it could be, but who really knows. I think more people will end up loving this PPV a lot more than me. Like I said before, I didn't hate this PPV. I did like the second half of the show, but it just felt something was missing. This definitely had a PPV atmosphere. The crowd was very vocal and really enjoyed the show. I always say an audience can make or break a show, so this really helps Lockdown's case. It's kinda tough for me to give this PPV a score between 1-10 and 5 considered average. Hmmm…..I think giving TNA Lockdown 2013 a 6 out of 10 is fair. That's what I considered slightly above average, so I think that's the score I feel I can give it. I know many will disagree with the score, but more power to you if you enjoyed the show. I'm just sharing my personal thoughts and you can take of it whatever you will. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. If you hated this review, allow me to apologize to you by not giving a s***. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd's Score of TNA Lockdown 2013: 6 out of 10

Friday, March 8, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling 3/7/13 Review (Now back with less flu)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 3/7/13. The flu is almost gone, so time to get back to some wrasslin' reviews. Let's begin. 

Match #1: Austin Aries vs Jeff Hardy
We open up the show with a match. In a pretty good match, the finish comes when Matt Morgan interferes in the match. Wait, what? Why Morgan? What does Morgan have to do with any of this? The run-in just seems pointless, but maybe this is something they are working towards. Either that or TNA just wants to continue green-lighting scripts that were written by a bunch of monkeys. Oh, but we haven't even gotten to the best part of the show yet! There's still more ridiculous stuff to get through! I just can't wait!!! Anyway, Bully Ray arrives and protects Hardy from the Morgan attack. Bully was standing up for Hardy since he wondered why Morgan was here as well. 

Winner via DQ: Jeff Hardy

Wes Brisco tries poorly to come up with the next catchphrase. A Brisco is better than an Angle? Seriously, that's all you got? Come on, man!!! You gotta give me more than that! I'm so disappointed right now, but wait until you hear this. Kurt comes out to attack, which encourages TNA management to break up the fight--wait, what? Why TNA management? Aren't they against the Aces and Eights? As soon as all these questions started circling my head, D'Lo Brown attacks his fellow managers and is revealed to be the VP of Card Games. TNA management was out there because of wrestling logic. Somebody better pick up that phone cuz I called that s***! I honestly don't remember when I wrote this, but I know I mentioned in a part article that D'Lo Brown was gonna be connected with this whole thing. Well, it's nice to see the Brisco/D'Lo/Gut Check segment come full circle, but let's talk about this reveal. It's shocking….For about three-seconds. Once the shock is over, you realize that this is kinda dumb. Think about it? The human bobble-head is one of the main forces of Aces and Eights. That's your ace in the hole? How do you top that? Glacier as the President? How about Boogeyman as the secretary? Why stop there? Let's get the Shockmaster to be the bodyguard of this stable. Oh geeze!!! I just realized that I'm giving TNA ideas with all of this. The man who spent the majority of his career as a jobber is now the Vice President of the worst stable in TNA history? I'm trying to keep an open mind with this move, but there's no way I can fully support this. Ever since Devon was revealed as the first member of this stable back in October, this storyline has just been one disappointment after another. I know the main guy in charge of this stable has yet to be revealed, but do you think this will change anything? Even if they make Bully the President of this stable, look at the goons he has in his disposal. He has the impostor Kane, Grizzly Adams, cubby Damon Waynes, and two rookies. Yeah, watch out for these guys!

Match #2: Sting vs Devon
Part of me thinks we should call it an evening, but we still have the second half of the show to get through. I think I'm gonna end up with the flu again. We have a 2 out of 3 match between Team TNA and Aces and Eights to determine who gets the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown. Thanks to 'fan interference', Devon steals this match. At least the match was kept short. 

Winner via pinfall: Devon

Gut Check ti--oh, son of a bitch. You know what? I'm gonna take the same approach with this as I've been doing with women's wrestling. Until something important happens or until I start giving a s***, I'm just gonna ignore these segments. I've notice a bit outcry for TNA's decision in the Gut Check this week, but I find it funny that people are making a big deal out of this. Aren't these all OVW talents? So, aren't they technically ALL under contract? I guess they could've changed the rules on this, but I could've sworn they were all developmental talents. Regardless, I think the point I'm trying to make here is why make a big deal out of it when TNA will probably end up signing the other talent off-screen? I think people are blowing this way out of hand. 

Match #3: Team Nacho Libre and Velvet Sky vs Bad Influence and Gail Kim
Gail and Velvet is the new Knockout rivalry? Oh right, I'm still don't care about any of this. I don't know about you, but does anybody else feel that Tazz's commentary has gotten even worse since turning heel? It was bad enough watching him stutter all over the place, but add in all the annoyance and it's really hard to tolerate. Did somebody win this match? Probably, but who cares. 

Winner via whatever: Somebody

Match #4: Samoa Joe and Magnus vs Aces & Eights
As Sting beats the crap out of a chair, AJ Styles is rejecting TNA interviews since he looks like a 70s porn star. I guess we know why he took a break from wrestling. Styles is another person who could be aligned with Card Games. Like I mentioned earlier with Bully, it wouldn't be a big gain if Styles ended up being apart of this stable. Joe and Magnus pick up the victory, thus leading to one more match to determine who gets the advantage. Wrestling logic strikes again by literally making it two out of three. 

Winner via pinfall:

Match #5: Mr. Anderson vs James Storm
The Paul Bearer shout out just seemed awkward. I know it was the right thing to do, but is just seemed odd that they brought it up out of thin air. While on the subject, we did lose Paul Bearer this past week to a heart attack. May he rest in peace. Eric Young is trying to make himself a serious character during this segment. I know I joked about how EY will end up becoming a member of this stable, but I'm starting to think this will become a reality. If anybody's gonna betray Team TNA, it would probably be EY or Sting. Just have EY be the President so we can make this whole thing even more ridiculous. Thanks to a distraction, Anderson is able to steal this match. Card Games will have the advantage at Lockdown. 

Winner via pinfall: Mr. Anderson

Bully and Hardy have some last-minute build for their match at Lockdown. I'm not sure if you can call this build or a love-fest. Did you ever know that you're my hero! You are the wind beneath my wings! Hulk Hogan comes in to finish off the song. The show ends with a brawl. The build for the world title match has been played very low, but I think that's the idea since my theory is for Bully to show his true colors at Lockdown. Buddy Ray will probably be no more after this Sunday. 

Overall Impression:
I'm out for over a week and this is what I come back to? This is the show that gets you hyped up for Lockdown? I'm trying to be optimistic about this. I'm trying to give this a chance. I really want to be the person who talks about how great TNA is doing and give them credit. Hell, I've done it multiple times in the past, but I cannot support this. While WWE isn't doing overly amazing in their own right, do you honestly think TNA is doing better with this? And I know TNA fanboys will say otherwise and talk about how I'm an idiot, but I honestly don't care. This is my honest opinion and nothing more. Tonight's show was tough to sit through. It wasn't even in the 'it's so bad, it's good' category. It was just terrible. I don't find myself excited for Lockdown at all. I'll still check it out and see if something memorable will come out of it, but I'm prepared for disappointment. Well, the only thing I can do now is look up and hope for the best…

I apologize for disappearing like that, but that flu really kicked my ass. I'm still in the recovery process, but I hope to return back to updating on a consistent basis. I know we have a lot to get through after the time off. I will see you guys and girls in the next one.