What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 3/7/13. The flu is almost gone, so time to get back to some wrasslin' reviews. Let's begin.
Match #1: Austin Aries vs Jeff Hardy
We open up the show with a match. In a pretty good match, the finish comes when Matt Morgan interferes in the match. Wait, what? Why Morgan? What does Morgan have to do with any of this? The run-in just seems pointless, but maybe this is something they are working towards. Either that or TNA just wants to continue green-lighting scripts that were written by a bunch of monkeys. Oh, but we haven't even gotten to the best part of the show yet! There's still more ridiculous stuff to get through! I just can't wait!!! Anyway, Bully Ray arrives and protects Hardy from the Morgan attack. Bully was standing up for Hardy since he wondered why Morgan was here as well.
Winner via DQ: Jeff Hardy
Wes Brisco tries poorly to come up with the next catchphrase. A Brisco is better than an Angle? Seriously, that's all you got? Come on, man!!! You gotta give me more than that! I'm so disappointed right now, but wait until you hear this. Kurt comes out to attack, which encourages TNA management to break up the fight--wait, what? Why TNA management? Aren't they against the Aces and Eights? As soon as all these questions started circling my head, D'Lo Brown attacks his fellow managers and is revealed to be the VP of Card Games. TNA management was out there because of wrestling logic. Somebody better pick up that phone cuz I called that s***! I honestly don't remember when I wrote this, but I know I mentioned in a part article that D'Lo Brown was gonna be connected with this whole thing. Well, it's nice to see the Brisco/D'Lo/Gut Check segment come full circle, but let's talk about this reveal. It's shocking….For about three-seconds. Once the shock is over, you realize that this is kinda dumb. Think about it? The human bobble-head is one of the main forces of Aces and Eights. That's your ace in the hole? How do you top that? Glacier as the President? How about Boogeyman as the secretary? Why stop there? Let's get the Shockmaster to be the bodyguard of this stable. Oh geeze!!! I just realized that I'm giving TNA ideas with all of this. The man who spent the majority of his career as a jobber is now the Vice President of the worst stable in TNA history? I'm trying to keep an open mind with this move, but there's no way I can fully support this. Ever since Devon was revealed as the first member of this stable back in October, this storyline has just been one disappointment after another. I know the main guy in charge of this stable has yet to be revealed, but do you think this will change anything? Even if they make Bully the President of this stable, look at the goons he has in his disposal. He has the impostor Kane, Grizzly Adams, cubby Damon Waynes, and two rookies. Yeah, watch out for these guys!
Match #2: Sting vs Devon
Part of me thinks we should call it an evening, but we still have the second half of the show to get through. I think I'm gonna end up with the flu again. We have a 2 out of 3 match between Team TNA and Aces and Eights to determine who gets the man advantage in Lethal Lockdown. Thanks to 'fan interference', Devon steals this match. At least the match was kept short.
Winner via pinfall: Devon
Gut Check ti--oh, son of a bitch. You know what? I'm gonna take the same approach with this as I've been doing with women's wrestling. Until something important happens or until I start giving a s***, I'm just gonna ignore these segments. I've notice a bit outcry for TNA's decision in the Gut Check this week, but I find it funny that people are making a big deal out of this. Aren't these all OVW talents? So, aren't they technically ALL under contract? I guess they could've changed the rules on this, but I could've sworn they were all developmental talents. Regardless, I think the point I'm trying to make here is why make a big deal out of it when TNA will probably end up signing the other talent off-screen? I think people are blowing this way out of hand.
Match #3: Team Nacho Libre and Velvet Sky vs Bad Influence and Gail Kim
Gail and Velvet is the new Knockout rivalry? Oh right, I'm still don't care about any of this. I don't know about you, but does anybody else feel that Tazz's commentary has gotten even worse since turning heel? It was bad enough watching him stutter all over the place, but add in all the annoyance and it's really hard to tolerate. Did somebody win this match? Probably, but who cares.
Winner via whatever: Somebody
Match #4: Samoa Joe and Magnus vs Aces & Eights
As Sting beats the crap out of a chair, AJ Styles is rejecting TNA interviews since he looks like a 70s porn star. I guess we know why he took a break from wrestling. Styles is another person who could be aligned with Card Games. Like I mentioned earlier with Bully, it wouldn't be a big gain if Styles ended up being apart of this stable. Joe and Magnus pick up the victory, thus leading to one more match to determine who gets the advantage. Wrestling logic strikes again by literally making it two out of three.
Winner via pinfall:
Match #5: Mr. Anderson vs James Storm
The Paul Bearer shout out just seemed awkward. I know it was the right thing to do, but is just seemed odd that they brought it up out of thin air. While on the subject, we did lose Paul Bearer this past week to a heart attack. May he rest in peace. Eric Young is trying to make himself a serious character during this segment. I know I joked about how EY will end up becoming a member of this stable, but I'm starting to think this will become a reality. If anybody's gonna betray Team TNA, it would probably be EY or Sting. Just have EY be the President so we can make this whole thing even more ridiculous. Thanks to a distraction, Anderson is able to steal this match. Card Games will have the advantage at Lockdown.
Winner via pinfall: Mr. Anderson
Bully and Hardy have some last-minute build for their match at Lockdown. I'm not sure if you can call this build or a love-fest. Did you ever know that you're my hero! You are the wind beneath my wings! Hulk Hogan comes in to finish off the song. The show ends with a brawl. The build for the world title match has been played very low, but I think that's the idea since my theory is for Bully to show his true colors at Lockdown. Buddy Ray will probably be no more after this Sunday.
I'm out for over a week and this is what I come back to? This is the show that gets you hyped up for Lockdown? I'm trying to be optimistic about this. I'm trying to give this a chance. I really want to be the person who talks about how great TNA is doing and give them credit. Hell, I've done it multiple times in the past, but I cannot support this. While WWE isn't doing overly amazing in their own right, do you honestly think TNA is doing better with this? And I know TNA fanboys will say otherwise and talk about how I'm an idiot, but I honestly don't care. This is my honest opinion and nothing more. Tonight's show was tough to sit through. It wasn't even in the 'it's so bad, it's good' category. It was just terrible. I don't find myself excited for Lockdown at all. I'll still check it out and see if something memorable will come out of it, but I'm prepared for disappointment. Well, the only thing I can do now is look up and hope for the best…
I apologize for disappearing like that, but that flu really kicked my ass. I'm still in the recovery process, but I hope to return back to updating on a consistent basis. I know we have a lot to get through after the time off. I will see you guys and girls in the next one.