What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 2/25/13. What sort of shenanigans are in store for this week? Let's find out and begin.
We open up the show with Vince McMahon vs Paul Heyman. Both men go out there and put on the match of the year. It was compared to Bret Hart vs Shawn Michaels. After the match, the men served toast to the audience and proceeded to eat live scorpions. That's the whole show, so I guess the review is over. Well, that's all I got. See you guys and girls next week….
Okay, that's enough. The fight goes the way you would expect until Brock Lesnar hits his cue to confront the chairman after Vince got the upper hand on Pauly. Vince and Brock are in the middle of the ring yet again. Let's see….3…..2…..1…..and Triple H hits his cue. It's amazing how it's never late. The two proceed to beat the crap out of each other. This scuffle got pretty graphic. Brock was spewing blood all over the place. I've already expressed how I'm not excited for Brock/Trips since the match was below par last year, but what I'm hoping for is something along the lines of a gimmick match. Not sure what type of gimmick I would like to see, but they need something to make the match more meaningful than their encounter at SummerSlam.
Match #1: Ryback vs Dolph Ziggler
In a solid match, Ryback wins this match with the Shell Shock. Not really sure what the match accomplishes since Ryback and Dolph's rivals didn't interact at all this week. Oh well. The match quality is good enough to make me put this on the back-burner for the time being…..but-ick-ik-me-neh-ba-ich-k-be-ga.
Winner via pinfall: Ryback
CM Punk comes out to proclaim he's God. Yep….He's a God now. Let's ask Jesus how he feels about this….
Oh, I'm gonna get into so much trouble now. Hey, it's only a joke. I really liked Punk's promo here. It sets up the main event for tonight while Punk is trying to get something going for WrestleMania season…whatever that may be.
Match #2: Mark Henry vs Khali
Henry squashes Khali in a matter of minutes. It makes you wonder what the point was for Henry retreating last week. It looks like WWE wrote an idea, but scrapped it immediately. This is something I like to call, 'f*** the script'. This is where you see an obvious change with wrestling based on how things looked one or two weeks ago. Hell, all you have to write is 'Henry/Khali' and you know that idea is gonna get shot down….At least you would think.
Winner via squash: Mark Henry
A Miz TV segment between Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger, and Zeb Coulter. Del Rio claims this country is for everyone, while Zeb continues to bark about how immigrants are stealing the opportunity. Derb de der!!! What is this, wrestling or Fox News? I did enjoy this segment but it can be a very touchy subject to talk about. If you're looking for my thoughts on the stuff talked about, don't hold your breath. I tend to stay out of political issues on this page since it isn't something I want to talk about. One thing I can talk about is Zeb calling out Glenn Beck. I haven't done the full research myself, but it seems Glenn thinks that the WWE is full of idiots, while Zeb defends the company he works for. Yeah, fight the powa!!! It's great to see some pride on the matter, but does anybody else think WWE is going a little overboard with this? It just seems like WWE is trying to milk the mainstream attention on this until it's bone dry. It's another person slamming the wrestling industry. Stop the presses? This happens everywhere you go, so it almost seems sad to keep addressing the manor. He doesn't like wrestling, so address it once and move on. If you keep going on and on about it, you start coming off as PETA, and that's not a complement. I know some people wanted me to bring up Swagger's off-field antics within the last week, but it doesn't seem like WWE really cares at the matter. Well, at least for the time being. If Swagger's main event ends early, this is the perfect example of what drugs can do to you in America.
Match #3: Randy Orton vs Antonio Cesaro
This match was so short that I didn't even get to see it originally. I saw a replay of this match and Randy wins with the RKO. Can you say 'pushover' in five different languages?
Winner via nap: Randy Orton
Sheamus talks Oscars, but what it really boiled down to was Sheamus making fun of Wade Barrett's cameo in a movie while Wade's so full of himself. It seems that my hunch was correct from a week ago and a Sheamus/Wade could be lined up for WM.
Match #4: Cody Rhodes vs R-Truth
One week Cody is picking up victories, but this week he can't defeat Truth? This is another example of 'f*** the script'….
Damien Sandow criticizes Truth for attacking him last week. After Truth's victory, Sandow tries to attack but ends up getting tossed over by Truth. Not really sure where this is going, but I would guess this would lead to both of these guys reuniting with their former tag teams. If that happens, it would be another example of 'f*** the script'….
Winner via something: R-Truth
Match #5: Team Hell No vs Prime Time Players
Thanks to biting off more than they can crew, Team Hell No competed in this match with a couple of stipulations. Bryan had a blindfold on during this match, while Kane had one arm tied behind his back. Why is it every time somebody is blindfolded in these matches, they almost attack the referee? I know this is played up for laughs, but that stunt has been done to death. Enough of that crap. Anyway, Hell No is able to pick up the victory thanks to the superpower of teamwork! So, they have been bickering back and forth for weeks, but now this happens? While I see what they're attempting here, it just seems confusing to role with this approach. It makes it feel like their rivalry just went down a garbage disposal. It's rather odd to say the least.
Winner via pinfall: Team Hell No
The Shield basically calls out the entire WWE roster since nobody has been able to defeat them. I don't know why, but Roman Reigns makes me laugh for all the wrong reasons. This guy shouts in the most random spot. Sheamus calls them out since the man wants to be in two feuds at once. Attention whore! What this does is draw attention away from Randy Orton, who comes from behind to hit an RKO on Seth Rollins. Yeah, leaving him alone in the ring seemed like a stupid move on their part. Wrestling logic told him to stay behind so the WWE roster could make a statement. It shows that the roster isn't gonna back down to the Shield. DUST!!!
Match #6: Jack Swagger vs Miz
Swagger is just a small player in his own rivalry that I forgot that he's the one getting the world title match. We the people find that you're still boring. I know Zeb is there to do all the talking for Swagger, but I'm not sure if Swagger will be able to stand on his own when the time comes. Lord knows he's had issues in this department. Swagger wins this match for 'Merica.
Winner via America: Jack Swagger
Match #7: CM Punk vs John Cena
If you're gonna post a Tout, you can at least follow basic hygiene. I'm just saying. From top to bottom, this match was spectacular. No matter how many Punk/Cena matches we've seen for the past two years, there's just something about them that are always intriguing enough to check out. Something about these two just seem to bring out their best when they're going up against each other. In an amazing finish, Cena wins with a hurricarrana/AA combo for the victory. The hurricarrana was a bit shaky, but I can forgive it since Cena isn't exactly what you call a lightweight. With the victory, 'Twice in a Lifetime' has indeed come true. It really shouldn't come as a shock to the majority of you. I know there are a lot of people who don't want Rock/Cena 2, but it's a money-making/publicity move and that's that. WIth Punk losing, it seems a certain internet rumor could be coming true. Since I can't stand dirt sheet reporting, I'm not gonna talk about that until I see something on my television screen showing it could happen. I could care less about some online report since a lot of these 'rumors/spoilers' turn out to be false. Until that time comes, we shall wait and see what WWE has planned for Punk.
Winner via pinfall: John Cena
This was a pretty good episode of Raw. The matches were good and some of the segments were executed well. This was probably one of the better episodes I've seen as of late. There are still a couple of question marks for some big players heading into WM, but we also have over a month to determine what will happen for the big event, so we shall wait and see. Another thing I should mention is WWE announcing Old School for next week. Not really sure what will come out of this, but this gimmick could be the perfect setting for a certain return. A return from the dead could be on the way, but I digress. That's does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one.