What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 2/21/13. After a week off from TNA, how does the show fair? Let's get this over with and begin.
We open up the show with Hulk Hogan. I didn't review last week's show, but I do know that Hulk put together a series of matches to determine who will be the #1 Contender to the world title. Yeah, remember that championship? Well, Hogan decides to screw last week's show in the ass by ignoring that concept completely and giving the title match to a guy who wasn't even part of those qualifying matches, Bully Ray. So, it makes last week's show a complete waste of time. Maybe a week off was a good thing? Sigh….I'm not even surprised anymore, but you think they would at least try to follow the kayfabe they just established LAST WEEK. If anything, this looks worse since there was only a few hours/days in between the actual tapings of these episodes. It makes the creative staff look even worse. Did anybody even plan out an entire month of episodes before filming? Anyway, Buddy Ray is still trying to play up his good guy routine, so he request for Hogan and Sting to take on the Aces & Eights. Buddy Ray's army: Now coming to a retirement home near you.
Match #1: Greatest Factor and Bad Influence vs Team Nacho Libre, James Storm and Joseph Park
You know you have a clusterf*** when you start creating 8-man tag matches. The match was okay for what it was worth, but geeze was it difficult to keep track of. The finish comes when Storm hits the Last Call, but TNA wants Joseph to mean something, so they encourage him to hit the OBJECTION! (That's what I'm calling it). The good guys end up picking up the victory. Wait, did Hernandez even do anything? This is what happens in 8-man tag matches. You just don't get a chance to shine, playa.
Winner via pinfall: Chavo Guerrero, Hernandez, James Storm, and Joseph Park
Match #2: Rockstar Spud vs Robbie E
Thanks to Robbie T not helping E cheat, Rockstar picks up the rollup victory. I've had a few weeks to think about it and I still stand by my original thoughts. Rockstar Spud is the worst name I've ever heard in my life. He's gonna go places; like the free clinic. After the match, E and T get in each other's face. T is about to beat up E, but E ends up running away. Wow, did that make any sense? What it all boiled down to was Rob Terry getting tired of Robbie E's garbage. The breakup has been teased since last year, so this should come as no surprise. Not really sure what this means for both guys, but who really cares? It's an annoying Jersey dude and a jacked-up dancing fool. Do you really want to see either of these guys go farther? If anything, they have both found their place in the comedy department. While not perfect, they do offer up a good laugh from time to time.
Winner via pinfall: Rockstar Spud
Match #3: Tara vs Tessmacher vs Velvet Sky vs Gail Kim; Elimination Match for KO Title
I think moving forward, I'm just gonna skip analyzing women's wrestling matches until an actual storyline is written…..Or when I start giving a s***. Tara ends up getting eliminated first. I would comment on this, but that would mean breaking my rule. Velvet wins the match and is the new champion. Yep, still not caring.
Winner via pinfall and NEW KO Champion: Velvet Sky
Match #4: Samoa Joe vs Garett Bischoff
In an uninteresting match, Wes Brisco arrives to interfere. After the match, Kurt Angle arrives for the save. Every time they call Kurt the Cyborg, I think of Cyborg from Teen Titans, except with more broken necks. Kurt issues a challenge to Wes. This is still pending, but it seems Kurt vs Wes in a cage match for Lockdown is set to take place. A veteran of the TNA roster vs a rookie in the worst stable of all time? I can just smell the ratings…..
Winner via interference: Samoa Joe
Match #5: RVD vs Kenny King; X Division Title
So, let me ask a legit question. How many times has Kenny gotten an X Division title match this year? Part of the reason this division is a joke is because they hand out title matches like it's freakin' candy. This match has been done so many times that I've lost all interest in watching this match. It doesn't make RVD look better since it's literally beating the same guy, and Kenny isn't getting anything out of this since he's always losing against RVD. This is doing nothing for the X Division, in whole. The definition of lazy writing. RVD wins yet again. Surprised? You shouldn't be.
Winner via repeat: RVD
Match #6: Bully Ray, Sting, and Hulk Hogan vs Aces & Eights
You know there's something wrong with the combine age for three guys is over 150 years. I'm gonna beat you down with my cane! Hogan didn't even make this match because it would be later revealed that Card Games attacked him. Either that or Hogan slept past the alarm clock. Despite not having the numbers, Card Games still struggles to deal with Bully and Sting. I understand what Tazz is trying to do here, but talking about how they have the edge is pretty depressing. The finish comes when Aces & Eights bring out Brooke Hogan and Hulk crawls towards the ramp in an injured state. This whole scene is ridiculous. The stable brings out Brooke, but why? Why did they capture her only to let her go minutes later? To separate Bully from Sting? I guess that could be the argument, but that's quite a stretch. Bully runs to attend to his 'wife', while leaving Sting at the mercy of this stable. Congratulations Aces & Eights, you picked up a victory. It was a 3-on-1 match, but you did it! You beat mediocrity! You think with their history that Kurt and Joe would've saved Sting, but what the hell would I know? Just slap 'wrestling logic' all over it and there's you explanation.
Winner via luck: Aces & Eights
I know I didn't watch last week's show, but this is what I come back to? It was almost as if I didn't miss anything. That's probably a good thing or else I would've been really confused with this show, but it still doesn't take away from the fact this show was just kinda there. It wasn't good or bad. It just falls in the territory of average, meaning you aren't missing a whole lot by skipping this one. The segments were 'meh' and the matches were okay, at best. I'm a little disappointed with tonight's show since this was their last taping in the UK…..A taping that was done almost a month ago. I understand having to film in advance, but taping a month in advance is going overboard. Well, I need to wrap this up. Nothing really happens in this episode, which is why it isn't the most intriguing show to watch. Stuff does happen, but not enough to make it a watcher. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one.