Tuesday, July 30, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 7/29/13 Review (Emperor McMahon)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Raw 7/29/13. What happens when best friends collide? Let's find out and begin.

Gooooooood gooooooood
We open up the show with Vince McMahon. Just like a week ago, Brad Maddox is pretty much repeating Vince's word by calling Daniel Bryan a troll and not worthy of a WWE Championship. You know, this Maddox/Vince pairing reminds me of something, but I can't seem to put my finger on it…

Strange thing is I can see Vince wearing that hood in real life. Daniel interrupts since he needs to speak up on his behalf. Vince pretty much agrees that he doesn't think of Bryan as a suitable champion, but tries to play it off that Cena lied to Bryan and only gave him this title match so he could embarrass him. I love how Vince said his perfect vision for SummerSlam is for Bryan and Cena to explode. Makes me wonder if WWE has a working deal with Michael Bay to make a one-time appearance. While Bryan isn't happy about this, he claims that Vince has never lied to him…

Yeah, I don't buy it either, but let's play along for the sake of wrestling logic. There was more on this subject later in the show. 

More stuff 'n between
In a decent start to the action portion of the show, Shield defeats Mark Henry and the Usos. I know most people were thinking this match would occur at SS, but it isn't surprising this would happened a few weeks early. Based on the finish, it seems that nothing got resolved since Henry still wants to get his hands on the Shield and the Usos can still be regarded as the top contenders to the tag titles. In other words, it seems like it was pointless. Hopefully, we get some more information on this rivalry in the next week. RVD defeated Fandango via countout since Fandango didn't have enough color in his pants to fight. I honestly think this was put on the show so they could play Fandango's entrance theme twice. After all, the man's gimmick is to dance while the audience pokes the sky. What did the sky ever do to you? Some people are mean.

Getting out of the friend zone is hard
In a non-title match, Kaitlyn defeated AJ with the Spear. After the match, Dolph Ziggler came out and challenged Big E to a match. Since the big guy wants to see if there's still a chance to hook up with this Arkham Asylum patient, he agrees to the match. The match was kept short since AJ needs to stick her nose in everything. Dolph laughs the night away while Big E is very upset with AJ. You can definitely tell that Big E's emotions towards AJ are getting a little mixed up. He tries to kiss her one week and this week he's rolling his eyes at her and is basically saying, 'Bitch, please!'. I think the man is just very horny and really wants to see what AJ is like. Fortunate for him, he'll be more angry at Dolph since Ziggles used this opportunity to hit the Zig Zag. Unlike the Shield/Henry situation, you can at least see where this is headed. The two will have another match and it might be along the lines of a gimmick match. I kinda like this storyline. It's a bit of a guilty pleasure since it's pretty goofy, but fun at the same time. 

The Smackdown side of things
So, Jerry Lawler wants to climb Mark Henry? Ummm… That's what he does? Anyway, Alberto Del Rio went up against Christian in a non-title match. In a good match, Christian steals it with a quick pinfall. Is it possible that Christian's gonna get that one more match? Considering that the WHC match for SS is still open, it's a definite possibility. In other news, the Barrett Barrage is down to a pea shooter after his match with Cody Rhodes. They did show the SD recap where Sandow's briefcase went underwater and I loved the music they used during it. Listening to that while seeing Sandow's reactions was priceless. You think with Sandow trying to retrieve his briefcase, you think it would've just occurred to him to talk to the GM in order to give him a new briefcase. What, there's no extras in the back? Do they only make two of them a year? You think if that's all it took, Cena would just steal Orton's briefcase and set it on fire. After the match, Damien comes out and claims he carried Rhodes Scholars and doesn't associate with carnival folk. I find that line ironic since a good chunk of the people that work on this show are people you would see as a carney.

Follow the Bryan-zzards
Earlier in the night, Kane was looking for the Wyatt family, but ran into Maddox instead. Maddox told Kane to show he's a real monster by defeating Bryan tonight, thus adding to Vince controlling Maddox's mind. You know, if Vince is gonna tell the GM what to do, why doesn't he just name himself the GM? It would solve a lot of problems, but something tells more issues would arise from that. Anyway, it's time for the Kane/DB match and… It's a bit of a letdown if I say so myself. I felt they kinda rushed this match since I would've like to see more from the former tag partners since there was plenty of stuff to work with, but I guess they didn't want to go overboard on it since you can make a whole storyline out of Team Hell No fighting each other. I will admit that the match did its job. Bryan won with a quick rollup, but Kane hit the Chokeslam out of frustration once the match had concluded. Once Bryan left, the Wyatt family arrives and the two followers attack Kane. The Big, Red, Fruit Roll-up, Mask does well for a while, but Harper and Rowan were too much to overcome. After the attack, Bray Wyatt gives Kane the kiss of death and starts to talk. Bray says Kane is no demon and needs to be careful who you say these things towards. Once again, Bray's promo is tricky to decipher. You have no idea if they are trying to recruit Kane, make Kane evil since they thrive on chaos, or want to go to war against Kane, etc, etc, etc. It's all these factors that make the Wyatt family very intriguing since it has been a while since we've seen something like this. I know there's a lot of people not enjoying the Wyatt family since they're calling it a carbon-copy of the Shield, but I don't get that all at. The only similarity between the Wyatt family and the Shield is there's three members that make up the group. Each of the groups have their own goals and motives, so I don't buy the argument that they're the same. Now that I got that out of the way, I'm really enjoying the progression of the Wyatt since I definitely want to see more. 

WWE's hidden message that isn't so hidden
Like I mentioned a week ago, I didn't watch Total Divas and I have no plans of changing that anytime soon, but are they mixing in both kayfabe and real-life issues between Natalya and the Bellas? I'm kinda torn with how I feel about this. While it gives the ladies something to do besides going after the Divas title, it just seems a little weird. Yeah, I was mostly confused with all of this. You have one of the Bellas quacking at Natalya because she's an 'ugly duckling'? What? I guess I would understand this better if I watched Total Divas, but I didn't and nor do I want to. I shouldn't have to watch a reality show in order to figure out a storyline for Raw and/or SD. It's almost like they're saying, 'You want the full storyline? Well, watch Total Divas to find out'. I shouldn't be surprised since Vince is probably swimming in a Scrooge McDuck money-bin every time somebody mentions the WWE App on the air… What, no explosion this week? I guess the show needs to be live for it to have the full effect. 

1/3 of Payback 2.0… Figure that one out…
Curtis Axel/R-Truth ended in a no contest with CM Punk went out there. Oh, there's King trying to fill in his 'walrus' quota for the night. I know he's being fed lines on a weekly basis, but it's amazing how a man can call another man a walrus when King looks like the father of the Burger King mascot. Yeah, not so funny when the shoe is on the other foot, is it? Punk continues to hunt down Heyman, but Curtis causes enough of a distraction for Heyman to escape. Meanwhile, Stephanie and Triple H are talking about giving Daniel Bryan a corporate makeover. What does that mean? Is he gonna wear a suit, tie, monocle, and a top hat? Yeah, that's an image for you. Earlier in the night, King said Ryback is despicable. Hmmm…

The final match of the night was the Tables match between Cena and Ryback. Why do I feel Ryback winning Jerk of the Month is the closest he's gonna get to a championship? Just as you would've thought, Cena wins the match. The match was okay, but it did feel similar to one of their matches at Payback. After the match, Bryan comes out and is about to give Cena the WWE Championship, but not before playing 'keep away' with the title. For some reason, this was running through my mind while watching this…

Bryan: Haha, I got your belt!
Cena: But it's MY belt! Give it baaaaaacccck!!! Stoooooop Thaaaaaaat!!! I'm gonna tell the boss if you don't give it back! It's mine!!! Miiiiiinnnne!!!

The show ends with a wave of 'Yes' chants. I like the approach they've taken with Cena/Bryan since it makes you wonder if Bryan will truly be able to dethrone the Fruity Pebble King. I also like how Randy Orton has virtually stayed out of this whole thing since I feel he's gonna play a major factor in what happens at SS. 

Overall Impression:

I might as well get this out of the way since I mentioned it earlier in the review. This was NOT a live episode as was taped around a week ago since WWE is in the middle of an overseas tour. Despite this, I thought it was a decent show. The theme of the night was to continue the underdog story of DB in making the eeeeeevil establishment making Bryan feel inferior because of his look/size. Bryan isn't intimidated by that and it shows in his character. The rest of the show is either hit and miss for you. Personally, I thought tonight's episode was pretty decent despite the fact it wasn't live and spoilers were available for the taking. I didn't read the spoilers going into this and I'm personally glad I didn't since it made things more of a surprise for me. Check out the show for yourself and see where you stand on it. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

Friday, July 26, 2013

WrestlingNerd's Mini-Reviews: WWE Smackdown 7/26/13 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another edition of mini-reviews. Today we take a look at WWE Smackdown 7/26/13. Let's not waste any more time and begin. 

The show begins with Randy Orton vs Damien Sandow. While it appears Randy didn't suffer too big of an injury, I felt they shouldn't have brought him back on television since it could've made the MITB cash-in more of a surprise. Oh well, it isn't that big of a deal. The match is pretty good and I would even say it was the best match of the night. Cody Rhodes comes in to commit First Degree Briefcase Snatching. This distraction allows Randy to hit the RKO for the victory. The theme of tonight's show was Damien in pursuit of his briefcase while Cody manages to hide from everybody. In other words, this has become an Elmer Fudd/Bugs Bunny cartoon… Minus the shotgun. Throughout the night, Damien would ask people if they have seen Cody with his briefcase. My favorite was his interaction with Booker T and Mark Henry. I love Booker's reaction to Damien bringing up the fact he isn't the GM anymore. Booker is like 'Hold me back, Mark! Hold me back, man! Hold me back! Hold me back or he's dead! I'm gonna get the bastard! AWWWW'! 

I love how CM Punk reacted to Fandango. His face told the whole story…Who the f*** is this guy? After another example of how the Prime Time Players need to start thinking of pocket change instead of millions of dollars, we witness the Alberto Del Rio/RVD match. I was actually looking forward to this, but this was mostly put on for storyline instead of actual wrestling. Del Rio was trying to hide from RVD during this contest. Either he's intimidated by RVD or he wants to get away from the pot smell. I'll buy either one at this point. Thanks to Del Rio's cunning, he outsmarts the referee and RVD in order to steal this match. Based on the ending, it seems RVD is still a prime candidate for a WHC match since he basically got screwed over in this contest. I guess we'll find out next week what the plan is for the WHC. 

AJ gets back at Dolph Ziggler by ripping up his credit cards, money, passport, and etc. So, is there any explanation to why Dolph carries scissors with him? Seems a little much to be considered a grooming device. Either that or he kept it on stand-by in case AJ went over the e--wait a minute!? So, Dolph has money on him and doesn't have pockets? How does that work? Does it shove it up his ass or something? Anyway, she continues to destroy Dolph's possessions until she has a mental breakdown. I swear that AJ has a mental breakdown every month on this show. Do you ever notice that? Kaitlyn comes out of nowhere and spears AJ. Oh yeah, that's still a storyline. I almost forgot about her. A segment that was pretty funny to watch as well as doing its job.

The Wyatt family's Luke Harper and Erik Rowan destroyed Tons of Saturated Fat in a matter of seconds. After the match, Bray Wyatt encourages Kane to find him and follow the buzzards. Can't really take a whole lot from their in-ring debut since it was mostly a squash match, but it does its job in building up the stable and foreshadowing to what could happen come Monday. When will Galactus Wyatt compete in a match? I can't wait for that. 

There's no need to check you, Mr. Colter, because you are a real douchebag. My guess is if Swagger was driving the car, they definitely would've checked them. Hmm… Now I'm envisioning Zeb cutting a promo in a prison to talk about how real Americans visit prison inmates. Christian defeated Jack Swagger because Captain Murica didn't give Jack his powers. After the match, Damien comes out and demands for Cody to hand him his briefcase. Cody gets on the titantron and tells Damien to come near the Gulf of Mexico or else the case will pick up 150 different chemicals from the water. Did you seriously look at that water? What happened? Anyway, Damien makes his way toward the water and despite proclaiming Cody is the almighty messiah of the mustache, Cody still throws the briefcase in the water. Damien tried to save it, but the 'smartest' man in WWE forgot that he didn't know how to swim. Yeah, I know this stunt has been done before and I can already hear the nostalgic fanbase calling out these guys, but I thought the segment was good. Yes, the stunt has been done before, but it's also your character/personality that can make a scene different from its predecessor. Damien's reactions to his contract ending up in the water was hilarious. Damien literally made this episode stand out. 

Overall Impression:

I thought this was a very good episode of SD. There was a lot of things that made this show stand out, but the star of the show had to be Damien Sandow. They were the focus of tonight's show and I thought they did a good job. I can see people not enjoying this episode since the wrestling was lacking, but storyline development is a big part of the show and I felt they did that decently this evening. The show worked for me, but I can understand why this wouldn't work for some of you. That does it for the mini-review. Tell me what you thought of the review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling 7/25/13 Review (Lawsuits 'N Stuff)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 7/25/13. How do things turn out tonight? Let's find out and begin.

What is TNA's fetish with lawyers and lawsuits? 
We open up the show with Main Event Mafia. It seems TNA will only start the show if it's Hogan, Card Games, or MEM. It's like a written law by TNA. Sting talks about how the greatest night of his career was witnessing Chris Sabin's victory. I don't know about that, judges? 

Yeah, that sounds a little more accurate. I know he's trying to put him over, but at least try to put some more imagination behind it. Sabin comes out and cuts a very average promo, but somehow better than any of Jeff Hardy's promos. Bully Ray comes out with… The love-child of Kevin Nash and Ted Turner? Seriously, what is that? What am I looking at right now? It's almost surreal looking at this guy. I didn't think there was a way to top Claire Lynch but… No, she's still worse, but damn does this guy come close. He added no emotion to this part, but what you do expect when you hire actors that were walking by the arena? Anyway, this guy, who's probably getting paid with a sandwich, informs us that if Sabin doesn't hand the title back to Bully, they will file a lawsuit on TNA. Are we officially breaking kayfabe now? HAHA--Wait, what? That doesn't make any sense. Just because you sue somebody doesn't mean you're gonna win, especially if you're Bully and literally have no case. Even in the realms of wrestling logic, this is stupid. You want the real explanation? The real explanation is TNA got lazy with their writing and wrote up anything that could work tonight. Talk about not covering up your tracks very well. And what's even more stupid is how Hogan and Dixie start taking this seriously since they worry that they might lose the company with this lawsuit. In fact, it got so ridiculous that they honestly considered taking the title off of Sabin to give it back to Bully JUST to avoid a lawsuit. Again, I know this is wrestling logic, but this is bad. This isn't even in the 'So bad, it's funny' category. This is awful. It's definitely not one of the best things they've written. If that's all it takes, taking over this company should be easy. Just buy a ticket to an event, trip on a soda, and then sue the company. I own a company now, muhahahahahahahaha! Oh, there's still more to bring up later in the review? Uggggggggghhhhh…

Ultimate X-tra
In an exciting Ultimate X match, Manik is the winner and is the new X Division champion. We also see the new design of the belt and I like it. I think it looks pretty nice, but my immature mind can't look at the title and notice how many 'Xs' are inside the belt. I almost want to call it the Pornstar Championship since you can see 'XXX' on the belt. As I thought a week ago, it was no surprise Manik won since he was the only one of the three under contract. It's even more underwhelming since I felt Manik was the person in this match that was the least impressive. You see great stuff from Sonjay Dutt and Greg Barreta, but Manik didn't have as many captivating moments as the other two. As far as Manik as champ goes, I don't really care. I don't see the point of him wearing the mask under this 'Manik' name, especially since he's more than willing to show his face on camera. What, is he shy? Does he feel an emotional connection to the mask? Does the mask give him superpowers? My God, it's Jim Carrey! Joking aside, I don't see Manik winning the title as a big deal. I think he's literally gonna hold it until it comes time to give it to the next X Division guy, but that's just how I see it. 

BFG Series
So, Eric Young is a scientist now? I thought he was comic relief? Well, they're pretty much the same job if you think about it. Apparently, he's gonna try to figure out why Joseph Park goes insane. Perhaps it's something he ate? There were three BFG Series matches this evening. The first was Mr. Anderson vs Hernandez. It was short and uneventful. Anderson won cleanly with the Mic Check. Wow, you really have to be at the bottom of the ladder when a guy who always cheats, beats you cleanly. Christopher Daniels went up against Samoa Joe in the second BFG match. Thanks to Anderson taunting Joe, Daniels takes advantage and steals this match. I thought the whole idea of MEM was 'family sticks together'? Where the hell were they during all of this? My guess is MEM went to pick up Joe's fast-food order. Well, I guess they do stick together, eh? The finally BFG match was Jeff Hardy vs AJ Styles. The match started a bit slow, but once they found a grove, I thought it was a decent match. Styles picked up the victory with the Calf Killer. I love Styles blowing off Hardy at the end of the match…

KO segment of the night
I know it can be obvious that the production staff edits some of the noises/chants, but nowhere was it more obvious than in the KO match. You hear these noises, but the audience acts like they're watching golf. At the same time, I can't blame the audience for this since it was heel vs heel. Just who in the hell are you supposed to cheer for? You know it's getting bad when the audience has to cheer for the referee. That pretty much sums up the whole match. Gail Kim argues with ODB, thus Mickie utilizes the power of the rollup to pick up the victory. After the match, Brooke Hogan comes out and informs us ODB is still an active wrestler and can fight back. Gail runs away as soon as ODB starts to unleash her bitchy side. So, I guess the whole point of this title match was to start a feud between Gail and ODB. You know, you could've achieved that so much easier than what you went with. I'm just… Saiyan.

Payoff time? 
I love the MEM backstage scene. Kurt Angle is s****ing bricks over this lawsuit and Sting says Bully has no case. THANK YOU! THANK YOU STING! Hand the rest of the show over to him since he's the only one using a brain tonight! So, it's time for Bitch Ray to come out and bitch some more. That's right, cry, cry cry! Bully cries more than a Disney princess. Since we written up something that was dumb to begin with, let's cover it up by spewing more bs. I'm being serious. Bully continues to make lawsuit threats and Hogan ultimately rips up the contract and puts Bully in a match. Why? Because Hogan is the law…

In a few weeks where TNA relives Hardcore Justice on free TV, it will be Sabin vs Bully for the World Title in a Steel Cage match. What, so does ripping up a lawsuit automatically solve all of your problems? Well, if the world knew that, you think people who have gotten sued would have done this sooner. This is just terrible writing all around. The whole lawsuit thing shouldn't have happened. All you had to do was have Bully complain and immediately make the match. There was no need to drag out a WHOLE EPISODE for all this lawsuit crap. Not to mention this was the episode that followed Sabin's victory. You get people talking about your product to follow it up with this? 

Overall Impression:

If it wasn't obvious already, I was not a big fan of tonight's episode. While the action was good, the main part of the show can literally kill the entire evening for you. You get people to start talking about your product and this is what you do? I came out here a week ago to talk about how I was looking forward to this and this is the best you can follow that? This is your best foot forward? This is how you get those extra people to continue watching your product? I thought the idea was to bring in more viewers and get your sales to rise, not do one interesting thing and bore people with all this legal stuff. I think if you want to watch this, the best thing you should do is only watch the matches and not all this foreshadowing bulls***. This was not a good episode by TNA in my eyes. If you enjoyed all this legal stuff and thought it was compelling, more power to you. You obvious found something out of those scenes that you thought were fun and/or enjoyable. I tend to find some of the silliest moments in pro wrestling and have fun with them, but I can't do it with this. It wasn't entertaining or funny in my eyes. It was just sad to watch. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Oh, the TNA fans aren't gonna be happy with me after this, but what else is new? Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 7/22/13 Review (Goat vs Company)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Raw 7/22/13. What happens this week? Let's find out and start the review. 

Daniel Bryan vs Corporation 
We open up the show with a contract signing between John Cena and Daniel Bryan for the WWE title. Since Brad Maddox wants to do a good job in the eyes of Vince McMahon, he's trying to do everything in his power to convince people that Bryan isn't worthy of getting this title match and claims Cena made a mistake in naming Bryan the #1 Contender. Cena claims it isn't the size of a guy, but the heart of a guy that makes him stand out. I know it was supposed to be a powerful moment when Cena threw the championship towards Maddox, but I can't help but think the belt would act like a boomerang and just end up back in Cena's hands. Even when he tries to get rid of the title, it doesn't want to leave him. That's the power of John Cena. Daniel Bryan talks about deserving this opportunity for the WWE Championship, but the evil, big, bad corporation thinks Bryan is too small to earn a title match… Alabalabahlahabala. Maddox will put Bryan to a few matches this evening to 'prove' he deserves a title shot… Even though they both just signed the contract? Ehh… Who gives a crap? Like I mentioned earlier, it's the tension of Vince that's causing Maddox to act out in this fashion. More on this later in the review. 

Mid-show #1
Alberto Del Rio and Sheamus have a decent match. Throughout the match, Sheamus was selling a leg injury, but I doubt it was 'selling' by seeing his purple leg. Those bruises look brutal, but I wonder if that was legit or a good job by the make-up department? Either way, I like the effort from one or both sides of the coin. Del Rio wins the match since 1-800-FELLA has run out of minutes. Not sure where any of this is headed, but I'm sure this will be important for Sheamus in the coming weeks. The Christian/Titus O'Neil match was good, but doesn't really serve a purpose. I consider it an entertaining distraction. In other news, Ryback seems to think that by talking in food metaphors, he can get away with everything. It appears that Ryback needs a protein increase and Josh Matthews is the only one left. It's feeding time…

Meanwhile, Mark Henry calls out the Shield. I love the Kool-Aid mention by Henry. Makes me think Henry was aware of people calling him the Kool-Aid man when he was wearing red back in the day. They easily take the bait and attack the big guy, but never fear, the Usos to the rescue! Henry and the Usos use the real superpower of teamwork to take out the Shield. This is a follow-up to what happened on SD last week. While it does seem repetitive that the Shield has gone back to six-man tag matches, I don't really mind the move. It isn't the most intriguing move, but one of the things I like about it is the Usos aren't getting shoved to the sidelines. If anything, they have the most to gain for this temporarily alliance. While not the most interesting undercard match, I think it could be fun if it ends up on the SummerSlam card.

After a few minutes of Dolph Ziggler whooping Darren Young's ass, Big E and AJ come out to run interference. The two go back and forth until Dolph uses his speed to escape Big E…

Oh, that tricky, tricky, Ziggler! You'll get him next time, Big E. Tonight's Miz TV segment was used to promote the Total Divas reality show, which is set to debut this week. Hey, it looks like Brie Bella is showing her appreciation for the beard to the public! I know wardrobe malfunctions are gonna happen, but it isn't like she was physically active as she was sitting down during the segment. I can't be the only one to think that was a little suspicious. I only bring up this segment because Eva Marie, one of the rookie divas, gave the worst slap on television. I never thought I say this, but Vickie Guerrero would do better in this situation. At least her slap looks like it would hurt, not the equivalent of throwing a slice of bread at your face. Yeah, so she didn't leave that great of an impression if you ask me. I'll give her a chance, but why do I feel she was only hired to be on this reality TV show and nothing more? For the record, I will NOT be watching and/or reviewing this show by any means. I have no problem if WWE wants to go forward with this idea, but I have no interest in this show since I watch very little reality TV shows.

Mid-show #2
Triple H confronts Maddox for siding with the old man and claims DB has earned the right to get the title match. One swoop of advice later, Maddox to get more advise from Stephanie. Yeah, I'm sure none of this will lead to his downfall in the near future. I like how they're taking their time by slowly progressing things between Vince and Trips. You continue to progress things between them without giving them a ton of TV time. If only another old man with wavy, bald hair and shades can learn something like this. The only mention of the Wyatt family this week was a video package of what they've done for the past couple of weeks. Once again, WWE isn't really overexposing the Wyatts, which is the best way to go since you want to keep their sense of mystery alive. This also goes back to presenting the Wyatts in small doses as opposed to giving you too much on your plate. Back in the mid-card rankings, Cody Rhodes went up against Flamedango…

Oh, it just slipped! In a short match, Cody picked up the victory, but not without Damien Sandow trying to screw over his old tag partner. I think I'm noticing a small pattern in the WWE. Anybody with a beard will win at least one MITB briefcase… Unless your name is Wade Barrett, then you're just screwed. #1 tip to make it in the WWE… Grow a beard. CM Wolverine is in the ring and basically says…

Yeah, that pretty much summarizes his promo. Paul Heyman brings it via satellite and tells Punk they accept his challenge for a match at SummerSlam, but claim Punk is biting off more than he can chew. Once again, another compelling segment from Punk and Heyman. I really like how all the pieces of the puzzle are coming together for this match. SS is definitely looking intriguing. 

The goat goes to war
I wonder how much Wade would have to pay in order to buy himself a victory? Hey, that could be a storyline for the guy, but I doubt they would use it. It's time for the main event this evening. It's coming a lot sooner than you would've thought, but WWE really wanted to flesh-out these gauntlet matches. DB defeats Jack Swagger in a matter of minutes, meaning he still has to be getting punished for the bust earlier in the year… Don't do drugs, kids! Antonio Cesaro was next and this was a solid match. Unlike the Swagger match, this one was giving a lot more time to development, thus allowing both to put out the full effort for this contest. Antonio was going insane with this uppercuts. What the hell did Bryan ever do to you? Did he steal your lunch money or something? Whatever the case, Bryan still gets the victory by getting Cesaro in a rollup. After defeating the Almost Real Americans, Ryback is the final opponent for this gauntlet match. The man is getting the crapped kicked out of him, but DB continues to fight back. He's got the strength, the will, the…

…Cracked ribs. Bryan wins the match via DQ, but Ryback isn't done. Cena runs out for the save, to only challenge Ryback to a Tables match for next week's show. Yeah, so we get to see… 1/3 of the Payback match again… YAY… Eh? The other announcement is Bryan going up against his 'best friend', Kane. With Bryan vs Kane, you have to imagine the Wyatt family being involved to some degree. It's almost absolute at this point. It seems the idea of tonight's show was to show how the EVIL corporation doesn't like Bryan and is trying to do everything imaginable to break the man, but Bryan continues to find a way to prove he's for real and is deserving of this opportunity… Or maybe it was the basis of the fall of mankind? I forget which by this point. 

Overall Impression:

Tonight's show did progress certain storylines, but it did see everything took a backseat to DB and the McMahon storyline this evening. I didn't have any issues with the decision for tonight's show. I felt with these two elements, this was an episode of Raw worth checking out. There was a lot of action in tonight's show, so if that's your thing, you should get a satisfaction out of this episode. This isn't as strong as last week's episode, but this was still pretty good. Give it a watch and judge for yourself. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next ones. 

Friday, July 19, 2013

WrestlingNerd's Mini-Reviews: WWE Smackdown 7/19/13 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another edition of mini-reviews. Today we tackle WWE Smackdown 7/19/13. We don't have a lot of time, so let's dive right into it. 

I love how Teddy Long wants to be the GM of Smackdown. What would it be, like his 4-5 GM job on Friday nights? Perhaps being a cameraman would be more steady? It's revealed that Vickie Guerrero is the GM of SD. Great, so the person who always gets fired from the GM position manages to get another one a week later. I think we should create a betting pool on how long it will last. My guess is… 8 months. What do you think? I'm fine with Vickie being the GM of SD, but is this really a big deal? I personally don't think so. The move does keep the McMahons on opposite ends since Vince found a way to get what he wanted… Sort of. Don't feel sorry for Teddy since it was announced that he's been named the Senior Advisor of Tag Team Matches. 

Dolph Ziggler defeated a member of the Almost Real Americans. After the match, Dolph says he should've dumped AJ months ago. Meanwhile, AJ destroys equipment that will be thrown out at the end of the show, only to be picked up by TNA immediately afterwords. Big E finally gets her to calm down, but it seems Big E has something else on his mind. Looks like your Little E is starting to show. Big E was about to kiss AJ, but backs off and kisses her forehead. Look at Big E go for that rebound! This will definitely add something to the Dolph/Aj feud. In other news, it seems Mark Henry and the Usos could be teaming up to take on the Shield. Outside of the Usos, don't you think some of these people have regressed a bit? Hey, I'm just saying. 

Daniel Bryan defeated Wade Barrett with the Yes Lock. I'm surprised Wade didn't lose this match by tripping over his own shoelaces. With his stock being as low as it is, it's only a matter of time until it happens. I think the only thing Vickie can do right is slap people. Seriously, that s*** looks like it could kill people. Bitch Slap of Doom! I love how Miz tells Paul Heyman he isn't gonna ask him any questions on Miz TV. I know this was done because of the last time Pauly was on Miz TV, but I find it funny since the general idea of a 'talk show' is to ask questions. Miz simply just gave up since he realizes he's only gonna talk for the SummerSlam PPV. Seems like Miz is becoming more and more of a spokesman for the WWE than an actual competitor. Anyway, Heyman talks about betraying CM Punk, but not before getting an orgasm from pronouncing Brrrrrroooooock Lesssssssnaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr. There was an IC title match between Curtis Axel and Chris Jericho. Thanks to a slight distraction, Axel hits his s****y neckbreaker for the victory. The match was good, but that finisher looks ugly. Maybe he should change it to something else that…. You know, looks like a finisher and not the wrestler giving up in the middle of the match. After the contest, Ryback arrives since he's hungry for Canadian meat and continues to punish Jericho. Yeah, I'm sure this won't come back to haunt Ryback in 6-8 months. Thanks for the work Jericho… See you again around Royal Rumble/WrestleMania time. Even for a few months, Jericho still does great work. 

I'm absolutely stunned that Cody Rhodes refused Damien Sandow's offer of being the protector of the case. That's the greatest job ever! I want to be the protector of the case! That's like committing career suicide, Cody! Joking aside, I kinda like the early stages of this rivalry, but I still hope that it benefits both people and not just one at the end of the day. If done right, I think it can help both, but we shall see what the Crystal Ball of Staff Writers has to say about this. 

The final match of the night was Randy Orton vs Alberto Del Rio. It took me this long to realize it, but did anyone notice the WWE logo was upside down? Either one of the set builders did that as a joke or the thing was literally being supported by a rope and was on the verge of falling. Imagine seeing this match end via WWE logo murder? I'm not sure how I feel about that. During the match, Orton starts to either sell an arm injury or ended up getting injured in the match. I know this was reported earlier in the week and the internet is quickly buzzing in how it's a work, but I think it's too soon to tell. Real and kayfabe reports end up on the WWE site, so it can be either one at this point. If this is kayfabe, WWE has set things up nicely for Randy to make the MITB cash-in a surprise. If he really did hurt himself after this, I just hope it isn't too serious since we are only just getting started with this angle. Randy wins this match with the RKO. This was the best match of the night. 

Overall Impression:

This week's episode wasn't that bad, but it wasn't something you need to check out. You can definitely afford to miss this one, but you might get something out of it if you give it a chance. The matches were okay to sit through, so that definitely helps. One thing to mention is there was very little Raw recaps or a rerun of a classic match, which is normally the case with SD these days. If you want to add more value and/or interest to the show, cutting back on the Raw recaps is definitely one way of doing it. I doubt this will continue, but I can dream. That does it for the mini-review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of the review and tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling 7/18/13 (Destination X 2013)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 7/18/13. How does the Destination X event hold up? Let's find out and start the review. 

So the first thing I need to get out of the way is to apologize for the lack of TNA updates the last two weeks. Simply put, I've been on vacation the last two weekends and didn't really have the resources to watch and review. Things will be slowing down for the next couple of weekends and I can finally start talking about what's happening in TNA land…. And BOY has a s***load of stuff happened in those two weeks! I'm gonna get into some of these things in tonight's review when it's necessary. Without further delay, let's begin… Again? Sigh… Just start the damn thing…

Before we being tonight's review, some backtracking 
We open up the show with a montage of Chris Sabin. During those two weeks, Sabin ended up getting the X Division championship back from Austin Aries. I think I'm asking an honest question here… What was the point of the title changing hands? Let me get this out of the way before people start interpreting this the wrong way… I have nothing against Chris Sabin. He seems like a nice guy and I've enjoyed a lot of his work for TNA. He's like TNA's version of Rey Mysterio, a guy with the heart and passion for the business. My problem is there was no need to have Aries go identity theft if he was gonna drop the belt the following week. And if you're gonna use the argument that, 'Well, it makes Sabin tougher by coming back a week later to defeat Aries', that's a really lame argument. Why? Because you would've gotten the same result by simply having Sabin KEEP the belt and not do the Sui-posture deal. Not only that, but that's really a stretch if that's your case. In fact, TNA tried to use that as their argument when Aries and Sabin talked in a backstage scene tonight. I didn't buy the move then and I'm definitely not buying it now. It's wrestling logic bs and TNA knows that. From what I've gathered, the only reason they did the whole stunt was to give TJ Perkins a new name. That's seriously the whole explanation to the switch-a-roo. Yeah, all that build-up for giving a character an even sillier name. Instead of Suicide, he's called Manik. Yeah… Manik. What kind of a name is Manik? Sounds like the name of an energy drink…

Hey kids. Are you just tired of video games and comic books? Are crazy cartoons not keeping you entertained? Are you just plan bored from you Disneyland experience? Well, try some Manik! Manik is the ultimate energy drink. Manik will give you that rush for five minutes before you pass out in a garbage can! It's like taking a cast-iron skillet to the face! Manik!!! Available at all participating Wal-Marts. 

Not only is the name change senseless, but nothing's different about the character. Look, he's still wearing the same suit and everything. The only change made was a giant 'M' where it use to read 'Suicide'. I know I keep going on and on about this, but who's idea was this? If you're gonna change the name, change the entire get-up! My guess is TNA couldn't afford a new costume, so they're pretending it's something new and just hope it's fooling people. Is your budget so bad that you couldn't give him a different color scheme? Yeah, so I find it absurd and I imagine I'm not the only one. 

Tonight's review finally begins
Bully Ray talks about Sabin, Aces & Eights, candy bars, and Brooke Hogan. Bully basically tells Brooke to do whatever he says and nothing more. Husband of the year, ladies and gentlemen! Hulk Hogan gets in the midst of things, but we are quickly cut off by the new Main Event Mafia. In those two weeks, MEM picked up Magnus and Rampage as members of the stable. The Magnus move I really like. TNA seems really high on the guy and if done correctly, this could continue the elevation of his career. Rampage being in the group seems right AND wrong at the same time. I honestly don't know how to feel about him being in the group, but I'm more than willing to give it a chance. Since we are on the subject, why isn't Rampage wearing a suit? Is it at the cleaners? Did Rampage eat his suit? Did TNA's budget ran out? Anyway, the MEM claims they will go to war against Aces & Eights. Yeah, I'm sure this petty war will NOT effect the world title match in any way possible… I'm sure of it. 

Hey, at least you aren't in last place
Austin Aries vs Bobby Roode was the first match of the night. In a good match, Aries wins with the Brainbuster. After the match, Bobby goes insane and attacks Jeremy Borash. Careful Bobby! We can't afford another computer! That's coming out of your paycheck! I'll try to stop with the TNA/money jokes, but you have to admit that these are too easy to pass up. The fact they even brought up the 0 points and Bobby going insane tells you this is the start of Roode's next storyline. What is it exactly? I honestly don't know, but it could be fun. 

It's Manik ti--No!
I love how Card Games mentions Doc leaving the group and immediately move forward. Even they don't seem to care about one of their own. Not that I'm on this, I always thought Doc or Luke Gallows wasn't that bad of a talent. It isn't what I would call a Stone Cold or a Triple H, but I thought he could've had results like a Mark Henry or Kane if given a chance. I hope it works out for that guy. The first X Division qualifier was between Sonjay Dutt, Petey Williams, and Homicide. The match went by so fast that I forgot what I saw. It was good, but you might need to put this in sllllllllooooooow moooooooo in order to see this one. Sonjay wins the match and he'll move on to an Ultimate X match where the winner will be the new X Division champion. You think for an event called Destination X that they would crown a new champion tonight, but we obviously need some more MEM/Aces & Eights mugging. The next qualifier was Chavo Guerrero vs Kenny King vs sigh… Manik. Oh, I see what TNA did here. It's the past qualifier, the present qualifier, and the future releases qualifier. The last one is my favorite. Manik is victorious since TNA's goal is the make the word 'Manik' trend worldwide. 

Main Event Mafia: Gullible stable
The MEM finally make their way to the ring and call out Card Games. Just as you would expect, Aces & Eights say they aren't coming to fight in the ring, but will gladly have them fight in the back. Since nobody in MEM has any brains, they stupidly take the bait. Oh, and I love how Rampage is grabbing his crotch on live TV. And I thought only Michael Jackson could get away with public crotch-grabbing, but I was wrong. As they go to the back, Aces & Eights create a trap to kidnap Kurt Angle. So, this is the MEM? They jump into a fight and immediately lose a member via a truck. Main Event Mafia, ladies and gentlemen! I'm so glad Sting went out of the way to put this team together. What's the encore? MEM forgets how to swim and lose another member via drowning? I can't wait to see more. Actually, it won't happen since TNA can't afford a pool…

Alright, that one was terrible and I apologize. 

The last match for the Ultimate X qualifier is Rubix, Greg Marasciulo, and Rockstar Spud….Which is still an immature name. Sounds like an extreme potato created by Idaho farmers. The Greg guy is known to most of you as Trent Barreta in WWE. I'm just gonna call him Greg Barreta to make things simpler. In a fun match, Barreta picks up the victory, meaning it will be Sonjay vs Manik vs Barreta in an Ultimate X match for the X Division title. Considering that only one of these guys is under contract, I wonder who's gonna win? Hmmm…This is a tough one…

Hail Sabin!
After we see foreshadowing to the Mickie James/Gail Kim title match in the near future, we see Kurt Angle return back in the arena. Yeah… He was kidnapped for about 10 minutes. These guys need lessons from Bowser on kidnapping. At least he can kidnap a princess for a couple of hours. Thanks TNA for making that brawl entirely pointless. I know I try to find the comical things with the sillier aspects of pro wrestling, but that was pure nonsense. I haven't really talked about Sabin getting a shot at the world title tonight and I have to say TNA could've build this better. If you got back a year around this time, Austin Aries was built up for over a month that he could win the big one. To me, it tells a better story since it was given time to flesh out. Sabin didn't really get that chance since TNA was rushing everything out there for the last two weeks. I'm not saying all the real-life stuff for Sabin isn't a heartfelt story. I'm just saying there could've been a better use of time management in the past month. The match was very one-sided, but I think that was the idea. This moment might be regarded as classic or awesome to others, but the match was boring until the shenanigans came into play. Once MEM and Card Games fight at ringside and that mandatory ref bump for a free world title match occurs, Sabin intercepts Bully's hammer and uses it for his own personal gain. That's right, Chris Sabin is the new TNA World Champion. 

TNA built up Sabin as the guy who will go out there and give it all he has to win the big one, but by getting very little offense, he doesn't look like a guy who busted his ass to earn that belt. In fact, he took the easy way out by using a weapon. What a hero! Joking aside, Sabin simply looks like a guy who was at the right place at the right time, which was the opposite of what TNA was trying to build towards this evening. Yeah… Kind of a mixed message if you ask me, but I can also see why they wrote it like this. I think you do this since Sabin's title reign will be very short. In fact, I would be stunned to see him be world champ for a month or even go into Bound for Glory with the belt. I'm really lost in what to think of this move. Was it a surprise? Of course it is since who would've thought Sabin would be the next world champion after all the work Bully Ray did to get the title. Was it the right move? I honestly don't know. I've never looked at Chris Sabin and thought of him as world championship material. I know people will bash me and say, 'Well, what makes him different from CM Punk, Austin Aries, or other short guys?'. The simple answer to that question is Punk and Aries have something Sabin hasn't really shown me… charisma and mic skills. This is why I'm not the most liked person by the IWC since I always have to bring up how it takes more than just wrestling skills to make it in the business. You not only need ability in the ring, but you need to be able to talk, show some personality or multiple personalities in order to stand out. You need to be able to connect with different types of wrestling audiences (And there's more than one) and you need to make yourself exciting on a weekly basis so people will connect with you. Sabin doesn't really have all of those tools, but who knows? Maybe Sabin has all this charisma we aren't aware of and can unleash it now? It's improbable, but you never know. I don't really see TNA creating tonight's scene as a means of creating an underdog story. What I see out of this move is TNA trying to create buzz/attention for doing a move like this, thus trying to get people interested in their product. That's definitely not a bad move since you gotta try new and interesting things to get attention and it's something I can't fault the company for trying. If something fails, try something else until you find something that works. At the end of the day, will this move pay off? That's difficult to answer since we need to see how this plays out, but TNA did grab my attention with this move and I would be lying if I said I don't want to see what happens next. We will find out in the next few weeks if this was a good move or a desperate plea for media. One thing for sure is Bully Ray learned something after tonight. If you have a guy where you want him, just pull the freakin' trigger. If you're gonna shoot, shoot! Don't talk! 

Overall Impression:

This was an interesting show by TNA this evening. I'm not saying it was a good or bad show, but it was definitely interesting. The matches were decent to sit through and Sabin's title victory will get people talking about if what just happened is a good or bad thing, but the show did have some awkward moments. No show is ever gonna be perfect, but why have Angle get kidnapped when he shows up 10-15 minutes later? Seriously, what was up with that? Did Kurt kill somebody to get back to the arena? Did he steal an identical truck? There was no explanation to any of this. Worst kidnapping ever! I can at least come out here and recommend the show and I do want to see where Sabin's reign is headed, so that has to count for something, right? I didn't hate the show, but wasn't in-love with it either. Check it out yourself to see where you stand on the whole thing. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry for this review being longer, but there was a lot to talk about after two weeks of no Impact. Damn, and I didn't even talk about all the releases TNA made the past couple of weekends. We can always talk about those another day since this has gone on long enough. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's free PPV. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 7/15/13 Review (In Goats we trust)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Raw 7/15/13. With Money in the Bank over, what happens next? Let's find out and start the review. 

Remember when you had to win matches to earn a title shot? 
We open up the show with Brad Maddox. He talks about… Tacos or something until John Cena comes out. Maddox says he will let Cena choose his opponent for SummerSlam since the days of #1 Contender matches don't exist anymore. Seriously, what happen to those? With Cena getting this golden ticket, Randy Orton comes out to remind him he's the MITB holder and will steal that championship when he damn well pleases. This leads to an interruption by Fandango, which leads to… sigh… Fandango-ing. Do you ever start to think to yourself that Fandango-ing needs the Old Yeller treatment? You know, where somebody takes it out back and kills it for good? Nothing is more sad than when a meme just simply needs to die. It doesn't need to die with dignity… It just simply needs to die. It's pretty sad when Fandango's entrance theme is more over than the actual wrestler. I don't think that's ever happened before, but Fandango's music found a way to make it happen. Anyway, Mr. Slow-talker demands to be named the #1 Contender to the WWE Championship until Randy attacks. Randy can be funny sometimes. After the attack, Maddox books Randy vs Fandango immediately. As John Cena runs to the back to count his money, we get to witness this match. I need to make one thing perfectly clear… I don't hate Fandango. In fact, I would say the guy actually has some skill, but I simply can't stand Fandango-ing. Then again, if the audience wants to chant along with the meme, that's perfectly fine in my book. In fact, the audience can chant anything they damn well please. In a surprisingly lengthy match, Randy wins with the RKO. This was a pretty good start to Raw since it sets up the theme of the night and gets the action portion of the show in motion. 

Perhaps you should've given her some chocolates? 
Meanwhile, Dolph Ziggler kicks AJ to the curb, which I'm sure won't come back to haunt him later in the show. In fact, I guarantee that he will be fine after tonight… Nothing gonna happen after this… They will be perfectly fine after the show… I mean, it isn't like AJ is a selfish, inconsiderate, manipulative, attention-seeking, insane bitch who will stoop to the ultimate lows to get what she wants… So fine that nothing will go wrong with these two… Sunshine and lollipops are nothing compared to how nothing bad will come out of this… Nothing at all. I'm gonna fast forward a bit to the Alberto Del Rio/Ziggler match so we can talk about this all in one shot. The match goes well until AJ comes out to ring the bell, thus resulting in a hiccup that makes Dolph take his eye off the ball. Del Rio hits a side kick of doom to pick up the victory. After the match, Big E finishes off Dolph with the Big Landing. What? You're telling me the vengeful, crazy chick that has screwed over anyone that took a bite of her ham sandwich is holding a grudge for a breakup? Okay, I think I've had my fun with this. It was inevitable for AJ to screw over Dolph on purpose. It seems Dolph will probably take a minor break from his pursuit at the WHC to deal with AJ and Big E. I don't think this rivalry should last long since Dolph still has some unfinished business with Mr. Del Riiiiiio.

Movin' down from the card because that's what I do
Mark Henry taps out to the STF because that's what he does! Anyway, Henry seems perfectly fine with the fact he just lost a championship match. Almost as if he has a change of character. Well, why in the world would they do that? We would get an answer minutes later as the Shield comes out to pick their next target in Henry. The big guy doesn't back down to the Shield and starts to fight them off. Henry does well for a while, but the Shield is too much to overcome. The scene ends with Shield hitting the triple powerbomb on Henry. It seems like Henry is gonna turn face to go up against the Shield. It isn't that bad of an idea, but it is a tad disappointing considering the man did some very good work in the Henry/Cena feud. It's like they're saying, 'Hey, thank you for making the feud stand out, so now we reward you by throwing you into one of the filler roles for SummerSlam'. Even with that said, I kinda want to see how this plays out, but I wouldn't be shocked to see it play out the same as it normally does. It's even more disappointing to look at Henry's trolltirement from a month ago as a simple means of giving Cena something to do for a month. I couldn't have been the only one to think this. 

Eater of worlds?
As R-Truth comes out to… Do something, Bray Wyatt interrupts the segment to allow his brothers to attack him. Once Truth has been taken out, Bray talks about how there are no heroes and he's always been the answer. Wait a minute? Bray Wyatt is the eater of worlds? Bray Wyatt is Galactus? Son of a bitch, I knew it all along! After the speech, R-Truth gets back up and wants to do something about Bray, but Bray welcomes the challenge with open arms. No, he literally opens his arms in the middle of the ring. Truth thinks he has what he wants, but Bray's brothers create too much paranoia for Truth to do anything. Once the Wyatt family take out Truth again, Bray says Truth isn't who they seek, but remind Kane to follow the buzzards. We get a little more clarity from the Wyatt family this week, but they still keep their agenda so silent that it isn't easy to figure out what they want. I like this since it adds mystery. Like I said a week ago, do they want to fight Kane or do they want to turn him back into a monster? It's things like this that make the Wyatt family intriguing since they do things with a different tempo. Hell, Bray talks in so many circles that trying to figure him out is a mystery on its own. Not only is the freaky imagery and the look of these guys make them intriguing to watch, but it's Bray's speeches that also draw your attention. So far, the Wyatt family is being introduced in small doses and I think it's the best way to utilize these young guns. 

The stuff in between
The name of Zeb's tag team is called the Real Americans. I'm sorry, but every time I'm gonna hear the term 'Real Americans', I'm just gonna picture Hulk Hogan playing a guitar in front of Mount Rushmore. Anyway, the WWE App…

… chooses the Usos go up against Jack Swagger and Antonio Cesaro. In a very short match, the Usos pick up the victory with a rollup victory. Damien Sandow went up against Christian later in the night. Another rollup later, the match is over. I know people will complain about Damien losing, but it's a rollup lose. It almost doesn't even count as a true defeat. After the match, Cody Rhodes comes out to give him a mustache ride. Sandow retreats and that ends the segment. As I mentioned in the MITB review, they can use this as a means of pushing BOTH Damien and Cody since both guys are really in need of a change of pace. It definitely looks intriguing from my perspective. Oh, and do you really need to dial a number to have somebody kick you in the face? I'm sure you can piss on somebody's car and achieve the same result, but I digress. 

Heyman finally tells the truth
We're skipping pass the future diarrhea that is Total Divas, we get to CM Punk in the ring with something to say. Punk calls out Paul Heyman since he can't believe he feel for Heyman's manipulation. Pauly comes out to pretty much admit he used Punk and screwed him over for stabbing him in the back. Punk claims he's gonna go through every obstacle Heyman can throw up in order to finish him off once and for all. It's time for Heyman to call out The Thing. Brock Lesnar arrives and it seems the two are about the duke it out. It goes back and forth for a while until Punk's battle scars from the previous night are too much to overcome. Brock ends the scene by hitting the F5. I'm guessing the desk was supposed to break, but I guess it took its Cena-os this afternoon. Pauly, I thought what we had was speciaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!!! I really liked the dialogue between Punk and Heyman. It shows how good these two are since you can almost feel the hatred the two have for one another. Now THAT'S how you tell a story. What more can I say? The scene was perfect from start to finish and I cannot wait to see how this unfolds. 

Who gets the championship match? 
While Brad Maddox worries about upsetting the chairman of the company, we are treated to RVD vs Y2J. This was one of the matches that occurred a lot in my high school days. The guys have aged just like myself, but it was still a fun match to watch. Rob Van Dam hits the Frogslash for the clean victory. It's time to find out who Cena will choose as his opponent at SummerSlam. Cena claims he needs the WWE Universe's help to help him make his decision. After it's all said and done, the person the audience chooses is… Brodus Clay. Yeah, the audience went on a trolling spree. Actually, they start chanting 'Yes'. Cena finally gets a clue and decides to go up against Daniel Bryan for the WWE Championship…

I for one cannot be happier with the choice. Bryan is the most over superstar right now and is still an intriguing character to watch. He was due to get this match and it seems the little guy is gonna get his chance. What I honestly think WWE should do is allow Bryan to get some type of clean victory over Cena. I know that phrase doesn't seem to exist these days, but that type of victory can do even more for Bryan in the long-run. Plus, they can afford to do this since it would be the perfect setup for Randy to cash in the MITB. You have to imagine that Randy hasn't forgotten that lose to Bryan and I bet he would like some revenge on Bryan and steal the championship all in one night. There's a couple of other possibilities you can come up with for this match, but I'm not gonna bore you with that. It was a match in the works and I'm glad it's gonna happen.

Overall Impression:
After witnessing a kick-ass PPV, WWE follows it up with a really good episode of Raw. There was a few matches that stood out this evening and the segments for tonight's show were captivating as well. The announcement for Cena/Bryan at SummerSlam was superb while the Punk/Heyman interaction was gripping. There was even a few undercard stuff like the Wyatt family that can also pull you in as well. Things are looking very good for SummerSlam and I can't wait for the PPV. WWE has made two great PPVs in a row and I hope they can continue that trend next month. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

Monday, July 15, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Money in the Bank 2013 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Money in the Bank 2013. Was the PPV a success or a bust? Let's find out and start the review. 

Rhodes Scholars no more
We open up the show with the WHC MITB match. I just realized something with Zeb Colter. He isn't angry at the immigrants, he's angry at Mexican food. If you lay off the beans, you might be able to solve that problem… Just saying. This was a great way to kick off the action. Not sure how well this ranks with other MITB matches, but it was definitely entertaining to watch. After a long battle, it seems Cody Rhodes is close to winning the MITB. He takes out everyone and the fans are definitely pulling for him. It's time! It's his time! He's gonna do it! He's gonna win the big one! He's finally gonna---get screwed over by his best friend and end up losing the contract… 

Yeah, so Damien Sandow took out his own tag partner in order to steal the MITB contract. I did mention in the Raw review that somebody like Sandow could win the MITB contract if they did some proper development moving forward. Well, it seems they got something good going on here for both Cody and Damien if they play their cards right. What we have here is Sandow's betrayal of Cody and the crowd really pulling for Cody as the match progressed. They can have Cody turn face while going to war with his old friend. After their rivalry is over, it's possible for both to come out of it better than before, thus starting their build for the next stage of their careers. Unfortunately, I can also see WWE using the tag separation to only build Damien while Cody continues to do what he's done for almost the past year. I'll admit if that's the plan, I would be disappointed since I think both guys can be useful. There's plenty here for the WWE to use to benefit both guys. Only time will tell what the WWE's plan is for Damien and/or Cody after tonight, but I love the set up after tonight. 

IC title match
Brad Maddox talks about being the GM and showing a mockumentary video for Vickie. I know that Maddox's character is supposed to be annoying, but the man is about as funny as a punch to your nutsack… Or ovaries if you have those. Brad said something along the lines of Vickie working under him, similar to their Bricky dilemma, thus the person who got fired already has a new job. Funny how the person who always gets fired manages to keep finding work with this company. She's the George Jetson of this show. Now that I'm on the pre-show panel, Big Show has pretty much become the biggest hypocrite out there. He has an 'iron-clad' contract and what does he do? He wears a bad suit and offers his analysis. The truth for Show's change of character is because he ate a Snickers. Geeze, they could've solved Show's attitude problems if they just offered him candy? It's actually kind of a sad story. More people need to be aware of Snickers awareness! So many lives are lost due to this! Anyway, The next match is Curtis Axel vs Miz. During the match, Miz does an 'almost' Eddie Guerrero trick by convincing the referee that Paul Heyman punched him, thus sending him to the back. That's the most easily lead referee ever. Hey ref, that guy called me a name and if you don't do anything about it, I'm gonna tell my mommy! Anyway, Curtis Axel's cunning allows him to get the victory by hitting the most non-convincing finisher ever. Seriously, did anyone else think that finisher looked ugly? Despite that minor hiccup, the match wasn't too bad and it continues the progression of Curtis Axel. They might be able to keep the Miz/Curtis rivalry going and I kinda hope they do, but I wouldn't be surprised to see this feud end after tonight. I think there's still a lot more the two can pull off with this rivalry, but we shall see later in the week. 

Undercard central
The AJ/Kaitlyn match wasn't as captivating as the first encounter, but it was still a welcome edition to the series. Kaitlyn hit the Spear, but wasn't able to make the cover due to her injured shoulder. AJ gets Kaitlyn to tap out to the Black Widow. Meanwhile, Ryback finally wins a match on PPV. This might've been the weakest match of the night in a performance/storyline perspective. Hell, I think the Shield/Usos match deserved more recognition than what it got. Seriously, that match was awesome and it's almost sad it got reduced to the pre-show. I know you have to push things back due to time constraints, but it probably would've been better to put the AJ/Kaitlyn or Miz/Axel match in the pre-show. That's a minor complaint at the end of the day, but I will suggest for people to check the pre-show. I think that may have been the first time I've ever said that. Anyway, back to Ryback/Jericho. The storyline was put together at the last moment, while the match was… Just that, a simple match. You get nothing… You lose… Good day, sir! I guess they can use this 'slight' elevation to continue Ryback's pursuit with Vickie Guerrero, but that's about it. Let's be honest here, Ryback heeling out is on the saddest, yet funniest things to watch. He sounds so much like a bully from a 80s/90s Disney film that while hilarious, is a bit sad considering the massive size of this guy. Slapping Vickie on Ryback to do the talking for him may not be that bad of an idea. It could make for something even more ridiculous and funny, but might also get the guy back on track. At this point, why the hell not? Ryback is already down on the pecking order so I think this move could actually save whatever stock he still has. Feed me Vickie… That's just wrong. 

You gotta hate crazy chicks…
The Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler match was probably the best match on this PPV that didn't involve a ladder. The two have worked well in their new personas and I love the wrestling they can register. These two definitely need a rematch down the road. Just as Dolph has things under control, AJ comes out since she hasn't chewed enough scenery today. Dolph tells her to leave, but she wants to stay and help. Without even thinking, she interferes in the match, thus Del Rio gets the DQ victory. The segment ends with the two arguing. It was only a matter of time they would tease the breakup between Dolph and AJ, but it's funny how it's happening now considering that AJ has screwed up countless times in Dolph's matches. I think she's cost him more matches than helped, but wrestling logic would like to say otherwise. Getting back on track, look for the separation to happen and see Big E getting in the middle of this. Makes me wonder if Big E will be able to break off a piece if she does this for AJ, but she probably has 20 potential boyfriends already lined up. I love the audience's chant 'You screwed Ziggler'. Based in the context of the storyline, she really did screw Ziggler. She has screwed Ziggler so much that she's become a professional at it. Nobody screws around like AJ… Are we still talking about the same thing? 

John Cena = Mr. Anti-Climatic 
I like how Cena had trouble lifting up Henry, but manages to finally get him over later in the match. I guess Cena had a bowl of Fruity Pebbles under the ring or the cereal company created a Fruity Pebble Shot for emergency situations. The match was fine for the most part, but I really didn't like the ending to this match. I had no problem with all the extra shenanigans, but something about Cena pulling Henry back to the middle of the ring and Henry tapping out seconds afterwords just bothers me for some reason. It just seems like an anti-climatic finish. In fact, I notice this happens a lot in Cena's matches. Haven't you noticed it too? They start off well, have a good middle, but something about the ending just seems lazy. It's like the writers gave up and finished it up as fast as they could. I'm not surprised Cena won, but I really wanted to see Henry come out of this match with the belt. He set up this rivalry perfectly and I think has been the man to carry this entire thing since Cena seems to resort to cliches faster and faster these days. It's possible this whole thing was only done to give Cena an opponent for this month, but I think they can do a whole lot more with this rivalry. I'm sure these two will have some type of 'rematch' in the next PPV, but the interest is kinda gone after tonight's bout. 

All-Star MITB ladder match
I should note that the only mention of the Wyatt family was a quick recap of their attack on Kane. It's because of this attack that Kane didn't compete in this match. Here to replace Kane from the MITB ladder match is the ever-popular, Invisible Man. I love that guy! Even though I haven't been that hyped up for RVD's return, I'll admit that it's great seeing him come out to 'One of a Kind', or better yet, actual music. Then again, anything's better than, 'Dadadadada… Rob Van Dam'! 'Dadadadada… Shut the hell up'!!! RVD got a massive pop from the audience. It was clear they were excited to see the man return to the WWE. All the competitors for the All-Star MITB match are ready to go and they immediately attack RVD. Why do I get the feeling as they were attacking him, they were saying, 'This is for going to TNA!'? I don't know, it was just a funny image I pictured as I saw the attack. I think a lot of people will be split between which MITB match was better than the other. Both were pretty amazing and enjoyable, so it's kinda hard to choose which one was better. The show ends with Invisible Man winning the MITB. John Cena runs out there and offers him a piece of toast, but then Invisible Man takes him out and we have a new WWE Champion. Truly an upset that nobody saw coming. This was a segment for the ages and truly the greatest thing to happen in professional wrestling… I rank the segment a 0 out of 10. The review is now over…

Okay, none of that actually happened, but you have to admit that would be one hell of a twist. Just as Daniel Bryan is about to win the MITB, Curtis Axel shows up to take him out. Why? Well, there's a reason for that. Once Punk takes out Curtis, Paul Heyman arrives and cheers on his 'best friend'. Just as Punk is about to win the match, Heyman reveals his true colors and screws over Punk by sandwiching him between two ladders…

I love that clip. I can see why Curtis attacked Bryan. Think about it? Heyman wants to get revenge on Punk, so he suckers him in by still being that CM Punk supporter. Heyman could've easily had Curtis take out Punk, but that wouldn't be good enough in his eyes since HE wanted the credit of costing Punk the match. I think Heyman doing the attack makes him more sinister since he normally doesn't get his hands dirty with this 'grunt work', so it makes it better than having Curtis or Brock Lesnar doing the attack. That's at least how I see it. The match ends with Randy hitting the RKO on RVD, thus being the lone survivor left. He claims his prize and Randy has won the contract. I know a lot of people aren't gonna be happy with the choice since things were pointing towards Bryan winning this thing, but here's two reasons why I don't have a problem with this. One: Bryan can still get the WWE title at a later date. There's no exact time table for cashing in the MITB contract, so Bryan can either become WWE Champion before or after Randy's cash-in. Besides, I think Bryan winning the WWE title the legit way is better for his character since he wants to prove he's for real and not doing things the cheap way. Bryan didn't need to win the briefcase, but I think you can make that argument for everyone involved in this match. Two: Randy can use his cash-in as setting up the means for his long, overdue, heel turn. Other than Cena, Randy is the most overdue person for a heel turn and he desperate needs it, so I think the MITB will help him make that transition. That's what I'm hoping for since it will be disappointing to see Randy remain 'face' after he becomes world champion. Randy has also been overdue for a world title and it's time for him to be the king of the hill…

Overall Impression:
I thought it was gonna be difficult to top Payback, but Money in the Bank may have surpassed Payback. While I can't go all out and say MITB was better, there was a lot of things that tonight's PPV did that helps elevate things towards SummerSlam. Randy's victory sets up a heel turn he needs (hopefully), while Damien's victory allows progression for two of the WWE's young guns. The WHC match was fun to watch and the WWE title match wasn't too shabby either. I may not like how the match ended, but it was at least entertaining to sit through. The undercard for this PPV wasn't as great as Payback, but they were far from terrible. I'll admit that Payback's undercard was more interesting than MITB, but MITB had the bigger main event matches. Does that make any sense? If I had to give WWE Money in the Bank 2013 a score between 1-10 and 5 considered average, I have to give this PPV an 8 out of 10. This is the same score I gave Payback and since I can't determine which one I like more, I think this score makes the most sense. I don't think it really matters since I think both PPVs are fun, intriguing, and worth taking a look. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I also apologize for the lack of updates the last couple of weeks. I've been very busy the last couple of weekends by being out of town. That's why this review is delayed a bit. Things should be getting back to a normal schedule this week… I hope. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd's score for WWE Money in the Bank 2013: 8 out of 10

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

WrestlingNerd Special: TNA's One Night Only: Hardcore Justice 2 (2013)

Due to being out of town last weekend, I was unable to review last week's Impact and Smackdown. Yeah, there's plenty to talk about with what happened in TNA last week, but I'll get to that in the next Impact review. Since I was unable to talk about those shows last week, I figure I can make it up to folks by talking about TNA's One Night Only PPV: Hardcore Justice 2. Why is it Hardcore Justice 2? There's been more than one Har--You know what, never-mind. That's the least of my worries after this show. I've said in the past I won't look at these since they don't connect with the storylines and are mostly paying homage to past events, but this is my way of missing out on updates last week. I'll think of another way of making this up to the WWE fans that read my page shortly, but let's take it one step at a time. Without further due, let's begin this special review. 

Getting started
We open up the PPV with TNA showing a montage of the history of the Hardcore Justice PPV. Yes, cuz everyone should remember when we saw fat guys playing with plastic lightsabers. The first match of the night was LAX vs New Church. I gotta be honest, I didn't watch the first few years of TNA's existence, so I've literally never heard of the New Church. Based on research, New Church was a stable brought about by James Mitchell. The funniest thing I saw in all of this was Mitchell being nowhere in the middle of this match since he focused on something else this evening. I guess even he's embarrassed by one of his old creations. As the PPV name would imply, every match this even would be contested under 'hardcore rules'. I put that loosely since… Well, you'll find out later in the review. The match was just there and LAX picks up the victory. I really have nothing else to add about it since it was kinda bland, but at least Homicide put an honest effort out there. 

Rhyming time
The second match of the night was Jackie Moore vs ODB. This was the only Knockout match of the evening and THANK GOD because this was awful. It was slow and sluggish. I know that's to be expected since these ladies have gotten older, but there was no chemistry in this match. For two veterans, it was sad to say the least. Oh, and the most hardcore item in this match was a broom. That's right, a broom. I'm not sexist or anything, but it was TNA who had these ladies compete with chap-stick, hairspray, high heels, and brooms. I'm just gonna leave it at that and let you translate that yourself. The next match was Generation Me vs Bad Influence. If there's one positive on this showing, it was Bad Influence's pre-match promo. Not sure why Christopher Daniels turned into Dr. Seuss, but I thought it was pretty funny. These two teams compete in a ladder match where the winner gets $25,000. This $25,000 bonus is the reason TNA is having issues paying its talents, but that means more appletinis for Daniels… Eh… EH? Anyway, this was actually a pretty fun match to watch. The funny thing I found about this PPV is how there's more tag teams here than on the actual show. I could've have been the only one to notice that. Anyway, it's the power of appletini that gives Bad Influence the victory. As for Gen Me, it's presumed they had to fork over $25,000 for losing the match. That would've been a fun stipulation if you think about it. 

Next up is the Gauntlet Battle Royal where it consist of 'hardcore' items. Sigh… The weapons for this match were stupid. Don't get me wrong, it was already pretty bad with high heels, but this is when it got retarded. Who in the hell uses a dust bin as a weapon? And unless that umbrella was created by The Penguin, it's just as pathetic, but they are nothing compared to the one, and only, fish. There was a dead fish that was actually used as a weapon I wish I could make this up, but we have a fish being used as a weapon…

Random Guy: Haha, I got you now!
*other guy pulls out a fish*

This match is so campy that the 1960s Batman show would look at this and say 'That's just silly'. Where did they come up with half of these weapons? My guess is they ran out of time and told everybody to run out to the dumpster and find anything that could work. If that was the case, I would question why somebody would throw out a whole fish, but now I'm really getting off track. I haven't even talked about the competitors of the match. Alright, I think I've gone on long enough about these weapons, so let's do a rundown of the talent. So, all of your favorite past and present TNA talents are here for this match. You got Devon Storm, Gunner, Crimson, Sam Shaw, Funaki? …Little Guido and Two Cold Scorpio? Little Guido and Scorpio are 'passable' with that painful ECW tribute by TNA, but Funaki has never worked for TNA. Perhaps it's time to bring up another running gimmick of these one night only PPVs. It's possible for TNA to bring in talents they've never had before for literally one night. I'll admit that it's cool to see the #1 Smackdown Announcer, but part of me wants to see him on Smackdown as opposed to this. Well, if somebody was offering you free money, would you say no? To top of this diarrhea sundae, Shark Boy actually wins this match thanks to the fi--You know what? F*** that! Shark Boy didn't win this match. The fish won the match. A fish won a wrestling match! The hell with all these wrestlers, the fish is the real ass-kicker. That fish could probably kick John Cena's ass. Nobody f***s around with that fish! Should I even continue with this review? I think we could literally end it right here since I'm not gonna top that. In fact, this moment is so stupid that it's hilarious. In fact, I would actually recommend for you to watch this match if you simply want to laugh your ass off. It's a terrible wrestling match, but an entertaining one at that. 

Aces & Eights is bored this evening...
Aces & Eights is invading this PPV? This is what happens when you literally have nothing else better to do on a Friday night. Anyway, it's Card Games vs James Storm, Magnus, and Hardcore Holly in an elimination tag match playa. My problem with this match is how you get four consecutive eliminations in a span of 15-seconds. When I see things like this, I just see the writers and the performers being lazy and not giving a s***. While this isn't connected with the storylines on the show, that doesn't mean you don't have to try. In fact, one of my main issues with the show is the fact most of the talents aren't putting the honest effort since this is a throwaway event, but at least try to go out there and do something. We saw earlier how over-the-top Chris Daniels was and it was something. Did you see that? It's called giving a s*** and it's actually nice to witness. Anyway, Storm ends up being the lone survivor, while Aces & Eights continues to wonder if skipping happy hour was really worth it. 

Lawyers are hardcore
That's James Mitchell? What happened to him? He looks like a member of ZZ Top. He sounds just as sinister as in the past, but he could've done more in terms of getting in character like the suit and the stylish beard, but then that dives back into people putting on some effort. Judas Mesias went up against Joseph Park since Abyss wasn't available. In fact, why didn't they put Abyss in this? If this has no connection with the storylines, than why not have Abyss? I guess it doesn't matter since Joseph ends up winning the match after his crazy potion starts to take effect. This was supposed to be a Monster's Ball match, but it really didn't feel like one. The two did fine against each other, but the match dragged. By the way, based on TNA's cannon, wouldn't Joseph Park and Judas be half-brothers? Hey, I'm just saiyan. 

Due to Matt Hardy being at the buffet...
It's kinda hilarious seeing Jeremy Borash do commentary AND backstage interviews. It makes you wonder how he does all of this. I didn't know Borash was The Flash? Before I get a smart-ass comment, I should note that this show was taped back in March and all the commentary was recorded at a later time, which is why Tenay and Borash talked about stuff that happened a few weeks ago or else they would be psychic…

The last match of the night was Team 3D vs Brother Runt and Jeff Hardy in a Tables match. I might as well call him Spike Dudley since that's what you're gonna call him regardless of his TNA name. The match wasn't that bad, but just like everything else, I feel there isn't a ton of effort put into this. It was still decent to watch, but I just feel like more could've been done. Hardy and Spike pick up the victory, thus making Bully Ray question why he wanted his troops to invade this event. Seriously, nothing else going on in your lives? The show ends with a round of interviews from people giving their thoughts on the show and future events. One thing I haven't brought up yet is the constant amount of replays and recaps throughout the night. I wouldn't be surprised if over 30-40 minutes of this show was eaten up due to recaps, videos, and replays. I know WWE is very guilty of doing this with their television shows, but seeing this on a 'PPV' event kinda bothers me. You're actually forking over money to watch this and you pretty much get free television. Yeah, everybody can be a Wario these days. Greed is good!!!

Overall Impression:

The only thing I expected out of this was to be simply entertained and nothing more. While the fish segment managed to hit me like Joker's laughing gas and the ladder match was fun to watch, nothing else really pops out from this event. Like I mentioned earlier in the review, the biggest problem with the show is how it seems the talents aren't really thrilled to be there and are basically counting the minutes by so they can collect a check. To the people that did try, I command you for at least putting some effort since you at least tried to have some fun with the event. When I see somebody not caring, it makes me not care as well. Yeah, this was my main problem with the PPV and it's it can be a big issue. I can see others getting more value out of this than me and there's certainly nothing wrong with that. If you enjoyed it, more power to you, but I just found it to be an evening where very few wanted to do as little work as possible. I know I normally give a PPV a score between 1-10, but I don't feel the need to do that for this event since I don't see this as a PPV and instead see it as a tribute to their history. You honestly aren't missing much by skipping this event and I cannot recommend this… Unless you want to witness the fish. One thing I will do is name an MVP for this evening. Honestly, how can you NOT give it to the fish? The fish was the star of this show and don't you forget it! That does it for the special review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of this and let me know if you think I should look into future 'One Night Only' PPVs. I might be willing to take a look at them depending on the feedback. I will see you guys and girls in the next one.