Tuesday, July 16, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 7/15/13 Review (In Goats we trust)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Raw 7/15/13. With Money in the Bank over, what happens next? Let's find out and start the review. 

Remember when you had to win matches to earn a title shot? 
We open up the show with Brad Maddox. He talks about… Tacos or something until John Cena comes out. Maddox says he will let Cena choose his opponent for SummerSlam since the days of #1 Contender matches don't exist anymore. Seriously, what happen to those? With Cena getting this golden ticket, Randy Orton comes out to remind him he's the MITB holder and will steal that championship when he damn well pleases. This leads to an interruption by Fandango, which leads to… sigh… Fandango-ing. Do you ever start to think to yourself that Fandango-ing needs the Old Yeller treatment? You know, where somebody takes it out back and kills it for good? Nothing is more sad than when a meme just simply needs to die. It doesn't need to die with dignity… It just simply needs to die. It's pretty sad when Fandango's entrance theme is more over than the actual wrestler. I don't think that's ever happened before, but Fandango's music found a way to make it happen. Anyway, Mr. Slow-talker demands to be named the #1 Contender to the WWE Championship until Randy attacks. Randy can be funny sometimes. After the attack, Maddox books Randy vs Fandango immediately. As John Cena runs to the back to count his money, we get to witness this match. I need to make one thing perfectly clear… I don't hate Fandango. In fact, I would say the guy actually has some skill, but I simply can't stand Fandango-ing. Then again, if the audience wants to chant along with the meme, that's perfectly fine in my book. In fact, the audience can chant anything they damn well please. In a surprisingly lengthy match, Randy wins with the RKO. This was a pretty good start to Raw since it sets up the theme of the night and gets the action portion of the show in motion. 

Perhaps you should've given her some chocolates? 
Meanwhile, Dolph Ziggler kicks AJ to the curb, which I'm sure won't come back to haunt him later in the show. In fact, I guarantee that he will be fine after tonight… Nothing gonna happen after this… They will be perfectly fine after the show… I mean, it isn't like AJ is a selfish, inconsiderate, manipulative, attention-seeking, insane bitch who will stoop to the ultimate lows to get what she wants… So fine that nothing will go wrong with these two… Sunshine and lollipops are nothing compared to how nothing bad will come out of this… Nothing at all. I'm gonna fast forward a bit to the Alberto Del Rio/Ziggler match so we can talk about this all in one shot. The match goes well until AJ comes out to ring the bell, thus resulting in a hiccup that makes Dolph take his eye off the ball. Del Rio hits a side kick of doom to pick up the victory. After the match, Big E finishes off Dolph with the Big Landing. What? You're telling me the vengeful, crazy chick that has screwed over anyone that took a bite of her ham sandwich is holding a grudge for a breakup? Okay, I think I've had my fun with this. It was inevitable for AJ to screw over Dolph on purpose. It seems Dolph will probably take a minor break from his pursuit at the WHC to deal with AJ and Big E. I don't think this rivalry should last long since Dolph still has some unfinished business with Mr. Del Riiiiiio.

Movin' down from the card because that's what I do
Mark Henry taps out to the STF because that's what he does! Anyway, Henry seems perfectly fine with the fact he just lost a championship match. Almost as if he has a change of character. Well, why in the world would they do that? We would get an answer minutes later as the Shield comes out to pick their next target in Henry. The big guy doesn't back down to the Shield and starts to fight them off. Henry does well for a while, but the Shield is too much to overcome. The scene ends with Shield hitting the triple powerbomb on Henry. It seems like Henry is gonna turn face to go up against the Shield. It isn't that bad of an idea, but it is a tad disappointing considering the man did some very good work in the Henry/Cena feud. It's like they're saying, 'Hey, thank you for making the feud stand out, so now we reward you by throwing you into one of the filler roles for SummerSlam'. Even with that said, I kinda want to see how this plays out, but I wouldn't be shocked to see it play out the same as it normally does. It's even more disappointing to look at Henry's trolltirement from a month ago as a simple means of giving Cena something to do for a month. I couldn't have been the only one to think this. 

Eater of worlds?
As R-Truth comes out to… Do something, Bray Wyatt interrupts the segment to allow his brothers to attack him. Once Truth has been taken out, Bray talks about how there are no heroes and he's always been the answer. Wait a minute? Bray Wyatt is the eater of worlds? Bray Wyatt is Galactus? Son of a bitch, I knew it all along! After the speech, R-Truth gets back up and wants to do something about Bray, but Bray welcomes the challenge with open arms. No, he literally opens his arms in the middle of the ring. Truth thinks he has what he wants, but Bray's brothers create too much paranoia for Truth to do anything. Once the Wyatt family take out Truth again, Bray says Truth isn't who they seek, but remind Kane to follow the buzzards. We get a little more clarity from the Wyatt family this week, but they still keep their agenda so silent that it isn't easy to figure out what they want. I like this since it adds mystery. Like I said a week ago, do they want to fight Kane or do they want to turn him back into a monster? It's things like this that make the Wyatt family intriguing since they do things with a different tempo. Hell, Bray talks in so many circles that trying to figure him out is a mystery on its own. Not only is the freaky imagery and the look of these guys make them intriguing to watch, but it's Bray's speeches that also draw your attention. So far, the Wyatt family is being introduced in small doses and I think it's the best way to utilize these young guns. 

The stuff in between
The name of Zeb's tag team is called the Real Americans. I'm sorry, but every time I'm gonna hear the term 'Real Americans', I'm just gonna picture Hulk Hogan playing a guitar in front of Mount Rushmore. Anyway, the WWE App…

… chooses the Usos go up against Jack Swagger and Antonio Cesaro. In a very short match, the Usos pick up the victory with a rollup victory. Damien Sandow went up against Christian later in the night. Another rollup later, the match is over. I know people will complain about Damien losing, but it's a rollup lose. It almost doesn't even count as a true defeat. After the match, Cody Rhodes comes out to give him a mustache ride. Sandow retreats and that ends the segment. As I mentioned in the MITB review, they can use this as a means of pushing BOTH Damien and Cody since both guys are really in need of a change of pace. It definitely looks intriguing from my perspective. Oh, and do you really need to dial a number to have somebody kick you in the face? I'm sure you can piss on somebody's car and achieve the same result, but I digress. 

Heyman finally tells the truth
We're skipping pass the future diarrhea that is Total Divas, we get to CM Punk in the ring with something to say. Punk calls out Paul Heyman since he can't believe he feel for Heyman's manipulation. Pauly comes out to pretty much admit he used Punk and screwed him over for stabbing him in the back. Punk claims he's gonna go through every obstacle Heyman can throw up in order to finish him off once and for all. It's time for Heyman to call out The Thing. Brock Lesnar arrives and it seems the two are about the duke it out. It goes back and forth for a while until Punk's battle scars from the previous night are too much to overcome. Brock ends the scene by hitting the F5. I'm guessing the desk was supposed to break, but I guess it took its Cena-os this afternoon. Pauly, I thought what we had was speciaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!!! I really liked the dialogue between Punk and Heyman. It shows how good these two are since you can almost feel the hatred the two have for one another. Now THAT'S how you tell a story. What more can I say? The scene was perfect from start to finish and I cannot wait to see how this unfolds. 

Who gets the championship match? 
While Brad Maddox worries about upsetting the chairman of the company, we are treated to RVD vs Y2J. This was one of the matches that occurred a lot in my high school days. The guys have aged just like myself, but it was still a fun match to watch. Rob Van Dam hits the Frogslash for the clean victory. It's time to find out who Cena will choose as his opponent at SummerSlam. Cena claims he needs the WWE Universe's help to help him make his decision. After it's all said and done, the person the audience chooses is… Brodus Clay. Yeah, the audience went on a trolling spree. Actually, they start chanting 'Yes'. Cena finally gets a clue and decides to go up against Daniel Bryan for the WWE Championship…

I for one cannot be happier with the choice. Bryan is the most over superstar right now and is still an intriguing character to watch. He was due to get this match and it seems the little guy is gonna get his chance. What I honestly think WWE should do is allow Bryan to get some type of clean victory over Cena. I know that phrase doesn't seem to exist these days, but that type of victory can do even more for Bryan in the long-run. Plus, they can afford to do this since it would be the perfect setup for Randy to cash in the MITB. You have to imagine that Randy hasn't forgotten that lose to Bryan and I bet he would like some revenge on Bryan and steal the championship all in one night. There's a couple of other possibilities you can come up with for this match, but I'm not gonna bore you with that. It was a match in the works and I'm glad it's gonna happen.

Overall Impression:
After witnessing a kick-ass PPV, WWE follows it up with a really good episode of Raw. There was a few matches that stood out this evening and the segments for tonight's show were captivating as well. The announcement for Cena/Bryan at SummerSlam was superb while the Punk/Heyman interaction was gripping. There was even a few undercard stuff like the Wyatt family that can also pull you in as well. Things are looking very good for SummerSlam and I can't wait for the PPV. WWE has made two great PPVs in a row and I hope they can continue that trend next month. That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 


  1. The Punk and Heyman segment was easily one of the best things i've seen on raw all year. I am really looking forward to seeing it all play out over the next few weeks.

    And Bryan vs Cena at Summerslam should be good, I hope it's better than their first match http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf-kiUcAdVI
    And I really hope the WWE aren't stupid enough to make their match in any way shape or form involve the Bella's, with the dirtsheet rumours and the subtle hint dropping during the diva's match about them dating each other I hope they don't try and use the match to plug the show

  2. Maybe 1-800-FELLA can take care of the Fandango-ing problem.