Monday, April 30, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Extreme Rules 2012 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Extreme Rules 2012. How do things stack up with the WWE going Extreme? Let's find out and start the review. 

Match #1: Randy Orton vs Kane; Falls Count Anywhere match
We open up with the Mr. Double Mask and the Viper. Before I talk about this match, some people probably want me to address the pre-show. I won't go deeply into this, but I will say a couple of things. Santino defended his US Championship against the Miz. The match wasn't anything special, but it's a nice distraction. Miz ended up making a mistake when me missed that jumping clothesline he does towards turnbuckle. Santino hit the Cobra and keeps his championship. Miz better hope for a move to Smackdown or else this type of thing can continue. They also spun the roulette wheel to determine what match will take place between Big Show and Cody Rhodes. Teddy Long is wearing a giant name tag. It was one of those things that said, "Hello, my name is ______". It reminded me of the Eugene days. If they wanted to make Teddy look more like a tool, they should've spelled his name, "Tedy". Anyway, it's time to spin the wheel. Wheel of ridiculous matches, Turn turn turn. Tell us how we will embarrass Cody Rhodes today? It will be a Tables match. Now that I got that out of the way, let's begin……again…..for real…..ah, screw it. 

I thought this was a pretty good match between Randy and Kane. It wasn't amazing and it didn't get as brutal as it should've, but it was still a nice starter for the PPV. This match mostly took place outside the ring. The two brawled in the audience, the entrance ramp, backstage, and the ring itself. Did anyone remember the spot Kane and Randy were fighting near the trash can? I was just thinking to myself for someone to use it. Not because I wanted to see it being used, but I wanted to shout the line, "Time to take out the trash". Unfortunately, nobody took out the trash. Awwww!!! As they brawl to the back, Zack Ryder arrives and attacks Kane. I understand Ryder's need for revenge, but he literally attacks, watches the fight continue, then leaves. What, did Ryder just give up? Was he already content with that little attack? I'm sorry, but if a guy jacked up my hospital bill for months, I wouldn't really be content with 3-4 punches. Anyway, Randy and Kane are back in the ring for the finish. Amazing how most FCA matches finish in the ring. I guess it's luck……or wrestling logic. The finish comes when Kane hits the Chokeslam, but only gets a two count. He has a chair set up on the ground and is about to go for the Tombstone Piledriver. Randy is able to counter into an RKO off the chair and he wins the match. This match wasn't as brutal as what it should've been, but there's a reason for that. I still think this was a nice way to start off the PPV. The rivalry wasn't for everyone, but I found it more interesting after WM than during WM. Despite interest going up for this, this rivalry is most likely over. 

Winner via pinfall: Randy Orton

Backstage with John Laurinaitis and Eve. When Teddy delivers the alcohol (Which was funded by Chris Jericho Enterprises), she gloats about how Teddy used to have a good job and how she has an amazing job. The wine party is interrupted when Johnny gets a phone call from Triple H. He ends up leaving to go take care of the call…..

Match #2: Brodus Clay vs Dolph Ziggler
Michael Cole claims to be a dinosaur expert. I thought Jeff Goldblum was? Anyway, this was one of the rare Brodus matches where the opponent actually did some damage. Thanks to Jack "Biff Tannen" Swagger, Dolph was able to attack. The finish comes when Brodus taps into his inner Pokemon and does a headbutt attack. He follows it up with Funk It and wins the match. Remember when Dolph was the #1 Contender to the world title? Neither do I. In all seriousness, I feel really bad for Dolph. What, did he kick a baby to deserve this punishment?

Winner via pinfall: Brodus Clay

Match #3: Big Show vs Cody Rhodes; Tables match for IC Championship
Did Booker T seriously talk about a 100-yard dash match? Wouldn't that be Match of the Year material? Cody and Show, in a race towards the finish line. Well, the wheel denied us, so we will have to settle for the Tables match. Oh, darn. Show was pretty much dominating this match. The finish comes when Show is heading back towards the ring. He walks around a table (Which is very important) and gets on top of the apron. Cody kicks Show in the leg and Show ends up stepping his foot through the table. Since Show technically went "through" a table, we have a new IC Champion. Pretty anti-climatic, don't you think? Cody has been getting killed and embarrassed for a month, but is able to spring this victory because of some luck? I guess WWE wanted Show to have his WM moment, but didn't want it to last too long. From a storyline standpoint, Cody winning the title doesn't really add up. At the same time, I was laughing at how it happened. Cody wins the title and it was all like…..

….to the WWE Universe. The internet is probably gonna tear this a new one, but I got a laugh out of it. Besides, I was glad to see the IC title off of Show. It just looked like Show was gonna eat the IC title since he would think it's made of Reese's chocolate. After the match, Show ends up Chokeslamming Cody through a table. The crowd chants for one more, so Show military presses Cody and throws him through another table on the outside of the ring. Officials check up on Cody, but Cody ends up walking out of his own power. Well, at least Cody had ONE redeeming quality after his "victory".

Winner and NEW IC Champion: Cody Rhodes

Match #4: Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan; Two out of three falls match for WHC
Chicago gave Bryan an interesting response. They chanted "Yes", but they were also chanting "No". And there was the good old, "Daniel Bryan" chants. It was a pro-Bryan crowd since they didn't seem interested in Sheamus. That's two PPVs in a row that Sheamus hasn't been the favorite. Hmmm. During Bryan's interview, Bryan says Matt Striker is asking stupid questions and talks about how he has a manly beard and gets more chicks than Sheamus. A manly beard? Okay, this is freakin' funny. I love it when Bryan is over-the-top. When the interview is over, AJ is watching from a distance. You would think this is important for tonight's match, but AJ was a non-factor for the rest of the night. I guess it was foreshadowing to what AJ might do on WWE programming. Sheamus is wearing a "18 seconds" T-shirt. You would think this is a reference to the WM match, but I got some inside information. It turns out that the WWE Divas gave Sheamus that T-shirt. Unfortunately, I don't Sheamus has quite figured out why they gave this to him. It really makes me feel bad for the guy. The match is finally underway and……we are past 18 seconds?

This match was given a lot of time. I thought this was a great match. It was well done by two great athletes and they told a great story. The story was Sheamus wouldn't be able to keep up with Bryan's technical side since it was a fluke victory. Sure enough, that's exactly what happened. Sheamus was tired during the first fall of this match and Bryan was mostly in control throughout this contest. I liked that they made Bryan look really good tonight. Maybe WWE is starting to embrace Mr. Yes Man and allow him to show-off what he can do? The first fall ended when Bryan refused to listen to the referee when he delivered a series of……Yes Kicks? Yeah, I guess that's what we can call. At this point, why not? The referee DQs Bryan and Sheamus takes the first fall. You would think Bryan would get pissed off by this, but he's smiling since this seems to be part of his strategy. The second fall didn't take too long from the first one. Oh man. Bryan is going for the YES Lock…….no, Sheamus counters. Oh man, Bryan is going for it AGAIN…, Sheamus counters. Bryan is finally gonna get the YES Lock…, Sheamus counters again. Well, after a bunch of teases, Bryan finally applies the YES Lock. Sheamus can't reach the ropes, but refuses to tap out. The ref eventually hands the second fall to Bryan since Sheamus ended up passing out to the YES Lock. After the second fall, the medics arrive to check up on Sheamus. The officials tell Sheamus to call it a night, but Sheamus wants to continue. In seconds, Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick on Bryan, but took way too long to make the cover. Bryan ends up kicking out at two. The match continues for a while. The finish comes when Bryan ends up walking into another Brogue Kick and Sheamus retains his championship. I love this match. It was well done and told a great story. You really got the feeling that Sheamus was running out of gas in this match since Bryan came up with a brilliant strategy, but Sheamus was able to dig down deep and pull off the victory. It also made Bryan look like a cocky heel, but a cocky heel with some skills. At the end of the day, Bryan had a great chance of winning his match, but his arrogance was his worst enemy. I highly recommend checking out this match. 

Winner and still WHC: Sheamus

Match #5: Ryback vs two local jobbers
Lately, I have been very disappointed with these spots. Not because of Ryback's presence, but the names of these jobbers. I demand for goofier names to be given to these guys. I believe the names of the jobbers were Aaron Relic and Jay Hatton. The jobbers keep saying two is greater than one. Well, not if you're the Goddamn Batman. I gotta give it to King. The "one and a half men" joke was pretty funny. Ryback kills both guys and wins with the Muscle Buster. There was some "Goldberg" chants during this match. Well, I have stated that Ryback is the mad experiment of Goldberg and RVD for a while now. It's somehow fitting.

Winner via pinfall: Ryback

Match #6: CM Punk vs Chris Jericho; Chicago Street Fight for WWE Championship
In terms of a street fight, this match didn't live up to the gimmick. Now, did it make it a bad match? Not at all. In fact, this was a great match. I having a hard time determining which was my favorite match of the night, but this match did contend with Bryan/Sheamus and one other match for that spot. One thing I haven't really talked about is the audience. Chicago once again shows some great energy. I really helps the whole show. I always look forward to a wrestling even that takes place in Chicago since they are one of the better cities to hold a wrestling event. Punk's sister was in the audience to watch this match. Genetics treated her well, if you know what I'm saying? Anyway, Punk and Jericho are fighting in street clothes. Only a few weapons were involved. Just a kendo stick, chair, and a fire extinguisher. There was a point Jericho started to beat up Punk in front of Punk's sister. Jericho is such an asshole that he thinks about laying a hand on her after she slaps him. It's pretty bad when Punk's sister delivers a more convincing slap than half of the WWE Diva roster. Punk instantly flips out and the match continues. Jericho pours a beer all over Punk. What, Pepsi wasn't available? I really enjoyed the wrestling aspect of their match at WM 28, but you knew this would be more of a fight than a wrestling match. Still, Punk and Jericho still show off their wrestling abilities. I thought it was a great match, but I can see why some people didn't like it. I get it. Calling it a street fight is somewhat unnecessary. There's a lot of near falls in this match. I liked the spot Punk used a fire extinguisher on Jericho. Punk just smoked your ass. This has been a great match, but something's missing. What is it? 

Aww Yes!!! The Spanish announce table being destroyed. How I missed you. Despite hitting that flying elbow, Jericho still kicks out at two. The finish comes when Jericho goes for Punk's GTS, but Punk is able to counter and hits the GTS for the victory. This was a very well done match. Both Punk and Jericho left it in the ring and told a good story in the process. So far, both world title matches have been the highlight of this PPV. The storyline was set up for Punk to defeat Jericho and his demons, so this doesn't come as a shock to me. Punk will either move on to a new opponent or they will milk one more match between these two. Then again, I doubt we will see another Punk/Jericho match for sometime. 

Winner via pinfall and still WWE Champion: CM Punk

Match #7: Nikki Bella vs Layla; Divas Championship
There was a backstage scene where Beth Phoenix was determined to win her championship, even if it's on one leg. Eve arrives and says Beth hasn't been medically cleared, so she will not be able to compete tonight. Once Beth leaves, Eve says Nikki will defend her title against a surprise opponent. Bellas are a little uneasy when Eve says this, but she assures them that it's not Kharma. I'm kinda glad it wasn't Kharma. The internet will throw a temper tantrum for not being "smark enough" to figure out WWE's plans, but I want Kharma's return to be more of a surprise. The surprise element was gone the second the Bellas took the Divas title back, so I'm fine with waiting. Besides, it has been a long time since we seen Layla compete in a match. The match was very basic. The finish comes when the Bellas do the switch-out, but it fails as Layla hits a neckbreaker on Brie for the victory. Since Layla didn't pin Nikki, chances are they will use this as a plotpoint for tomorrow's Raw. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it. 

Winner via pinfall and NEW Divas Champion: Layla

Backstage with Johnny. He tells us that Triple H will be on the show tomorrow *suspense music*. 

Match #8: John Cena vs Brock Lesnar; Extreme Rules match
Brock was wearing a version of his UFC gear, but he did have some boots on. Wow……just, wow. Remember when I said some of the earlier matches could've been brutal, but didn't go too far? Well, this match would be the reason for that. This match was brutal and physical. Within seconds, Brock got an elbow strike on Cena's head and was busted open. There was a quite a bit of blood for this match. Cena was busted open from all over his head. Even Brock got busted open during the match. Some of these strikes were brutal. I haven't seen the WWE air so much blood since…..well, since we weren't in the PG Era. The medics had to attend to Cena twice to close up the cuts. The match told a great story. Notice how the audience was against Cena at first? Well, that changed by the time this was over. I think it was Cena's toughness that got people to support him. That, and Brock was just a complete a-hole. Brock was in-control for most of the match. Cena tried to use his chain early, but Brock continued to beat the hell out of him. Not once, but twice the referee was taken down during the match. Hey, the man gave himself a free pass from getting a fine, so I doubt Johnny will grow some balls to punish him now. Lesnar hits the F5, but the ref got taken out in the process. Brock had the match, but no ref to make the count. A backup ref makes the count, but only a two count. Brock takes out this ref as well. Yeah, Brock just does whatever the hell he wants. Brock brought in some steel steps and locked in the Kimura lock. Cena did sell the move very well, but maybe there isn't much selling if Brock is this wrecking machine. Yeah, Cena seems to be in trouble. There's only one thing for Cena to try…..

The finish comes when Cena clocks Lesnar with that chained-up fist. He hits AA on the steel steps and is able to sneak away the victory. Man, I would hate to be Brock's next opponent. After the match, Cena thanks Chicago for being a great audience and is glad he can do this in front of a wrestling audience. He also says that he will be going home for a while. It was reported on that Cena has a torn rotator cuff. This is probably a kayfabe injury to take Cena off of TV for a while, but it can also be real. Yeah, I kinda dug myself a hole when I talked about Beth's "injury", so I'm gonna stay neutral on this one. 

Winner via pinfall: John Cena

Okay, so a lot to go over here. I thought the match told a good story. Yeah, I've been saying that phrase a lot tonight, but that's the best way of putting it. Now, because of the booking decision, there's gonna a lot of people complaining about this spot. Yes, I know a lot of the internet fans wanted Cena to lose. I know people will say it's bs that Cena won the match in two moves (Two moves that involved a weapon, so let's be fair) and overcomes the odds once again. I know people will bring up how they are sick of Cena's booking. I know people just want to see Cena turn into a bad guy and stop with the smiling Cena act. Believe me, I understand where you're coming from. In fact, I've voiced my frustrations with Cena's character in the past. Despite this, I'm pretty content with this decision. Cena was up against a wall and unlike the regular Super Cena act, this one actually looked good. Some will say that Brock looks weak at the end of the day. Brock looks weak? He busted open Cena and dominated most of the match. Brock looked fine in his match. He looked like what they were billing him to be, a destructive force. Cena needed weapons to defeat Brock. Lesnar mainly relied in his fist to do the job, so I don't buy the notion that Brock is weak after tonight. If anything, Brock was too confidant tonight. He could've ended this match a lot sooner, but he wanted to hurt Cena some more. In fact, you can say Brock costed himself the match since he underestimated his opponent. Now, I need to say this or else I'm gonna get a lot of angry comments. I know people are upset with the booking, but I wan to say this. When I watch wrestling, I not only want to see the quality of a wrestling match, but I want a good storyline in the process. If wrestling tells me a good story and keeps me entertained, I can give a flying rats-ass about booking. Then again, people do have to right to complain about some of the booking spots. I get your frustrations, but with a brutal match and a good story being told, I'm fine with how this match turned out. Then again, if Brock had won the match, I'm sure people would've complained about that. The IWC can really be the hardest audience to please. Then again, I have crossed that bridge a couple of times since becoming the WrestlingNerd. Yeah, you gotta watch that first step……and second…..and third…….Yeah, just bring some lumber and nails while you're at it. I may be the minority on Cena winning, but that's how it goes. Things do look different after tonight. It appears that Cena will be leaving for some time. How long that is, I have no idea, but at least one of my theories partially came true. WWE can use this time off to tweak Cena's character. As for Brock, he's gonna be pissed off for losing, but he also proved his point. He flat out doesn't like anyone and is only there to beat people up. 

Overall Impression:
So, how does this compare to WM 28? Pretty damn well, if I say so myself. I enjoyed WM 28 for different reasons, but something about ER really seemed to shine. The PPV got off to a fair start with the Kane/Randy match. I get that match wasn't for everyone, but it was a nice starter for the PPV. The PPV really picked up when the WHC match. It was a very good match and Sheamus and Bryan should be proud of what they did. Punk and Jericho was also great and told a great story. I know I keep coming back to telling a story in the ring, but that's very important in wrestling. It can mean the difference of your match standing out and the match dragging. I can see why some people didn't like this PPV, and it mostly has to do with the booking of the main event. I know a lot of people are gonna complain since they wanted Cena to lose or turn heel. I understand all of that and if you are upset with Cena winning, that's perfectly fine with me. Then again, just because Cena won DOESN'T make this a bad PPV. I try to look for something different when watching wrestling. I want to be entertained, have fun, see good action, and witness good storytelling in the process. Extreme Rules did all of that and then some. I liked what WM 28 brought to the table, but I think I like ER a lot better at the end of the day. If I have to give Extreme Rules 2012 a score between 1-10, I have to give it this PPV a 8 out of 10. Remember, I don't do decimal point scoring since I don't like it. I haven't given a score that high since SummerSlam, but what can I say? I really enjoyed this PPV. While the under-card was nothing special, some of it was decent at times. What really sold ER was the world title matches and the overall main event. These three matches were awesome and I think they were well worth the asking price. I realize a lot of people aren't gonna like the score I gave ER, but I see a lot of interesting things going on in WWE. With Cena taking time off and Brock still around, what will happen? What happens to Punk after he defeated Jericho. What does Bryan do next now that Sheamus had defeated him again? I think there's some interesting things going around and I think it can make for an interesting summer of WWE programming. Then again, maybe I'm in the minority after tonight. Well, if that's the case, you can't accuse me of thinking differently. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. If you enjoyed my non-sense, go back and check out my other articles. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time. 

WSNerd's PPV Scoring System:
1-3: Run!!! Run, for the love of God!!! RUN AWAY!!!
4-6: Slightly below average to slightly above average
7-9: A really great showing
10: It's perfect.....and it will blow your freakin' mind

WrestlingNerd's Official Score of WWE Extreme Rules 2012: 8 out of 10

Saturday, April 28, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Extreme Rules 2012 Rundown

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bring you another edition of the Rundown. Today, we rundown WWE Extreme Rules. For those new to this concept, here's how it works. I will talk about every match on the PPV. I will also break it down into who should win, who creative will pick, and I finally throw a prediction for the match. I also write some random stuff on this stuff, but that's pretty common when I'm involved. I personally don't care for my picks and they are really there for s**** and giggles, but people seem to like them. There seems to be a great deal of interest for this event. Without further delay, let's begin. 

Santino vs Miz; US Championship

I'm not sure why I'm talking about this match. Mainly because it's technically not on the ER card. This match will be on the pre-show. I mentioned this in the Raw review this past week, but I'm glad they are doing the pre-shows. It's always nice to get a look at the venue and a match before deciding if you wanted to order it or not. Now that I have said that, what can I really say about this match? This is the definition of taking two guys and putting them in a match without much of a storyline or purpose. I guess you can say the storyline is centered loosely on the fact that John Laurinaitis is on a bit of a power trip. He's doing everything in his power to help his guys get success while trying to break the Team Teddy members. Santino has had the odds against him for weeks, but he manages to slip away every time. I guess Santino is now Mr. Butterfingers. As for the Miz, he hasn't done much since WrestleMania. For a guy picking up the victory for Team Johnny, you would think he would get a little more screen time. Then again, Johnny is a robot and his logic circuits are completely out of whack. It's like he got infected with the Zero Virus from the Megaman X series, except nowhere near as cool. If this match was taking place on the PPV itself, I would think Miz has a great chance to take the title this Sunday. However, since this is gonna be in the pre-show, it seems less likely for a title change to occur. Remember when Miz was the WWE Champion? Neither do I. 

Who should win:
Despite Miz falling in between mid-card/main event/La La land, he doesn't need the US Championship. Miz won't add much to the US title. Unfortunately, I probably upset the people who can't stand Santino as their US Champion. Well, I have this to say. Son a ma gun!!!

Who creative will pick:
This is being shown during the pre-show. Is creative even awake at this point? I would think they would let the local bum determine who will win. I LIKE DONUTS!!!

My final pick:
I have to go with Santino on this one. Since I doubt they would allow for Miz to lose clean, I expect lots of shenanigans or a mistake by Miz. Mr. Butterfingers prevails again. 

Nikki Bella vs Beth Phoenix; Divas Championship

This one got added in at the last moment. In fact, I think it has only been announced on the website. Now, I got to admit that I made a mistake this past week on Raw. I talked about how Beth appeared to have a legit injury during the title match. Well, it turns out that Beth sold the hell out of it. Damn, that was some really good selling by Beth. If only some of the other divas can learn the definition of "sell". Beth really is one of the best Divas they have in the company. Regardless, a couple of things could end up happening at ER. Either Beth puts up a valiant effort since she's still selling the ankle/heel injury. This would, in return, allow for the fans to start cheering for her. She would end up losing, but if they want Beth to turn face, this is the best way to do it. What I think will end up happening is Beth doesn't show up, so it's time for a surprise replacement. Out comes Kharma. She kills both Bellas and becomes the new Divas Champion. I would admit that the surprise element would be present. 

Who should win:
I don't know what to say for this bit, so let's pretend I wrote something. Yeah, I'm being lazy. Don't judge me. 

Who creative will pick:
Creative staff? Oh, they are in the middle of desert at this point. 

My final pick:
If it's Nikki vs Beth, I choose Nikki. If Kharma makes a return and competes, she will take the title. Then again, Nikki can beat Beth AND Kharma could show up to kill her. That's always a possibility. 

Big Show vs Cody Rhodes; IC Championship

There really isn't a whole to say about this match. It's one of those rivalries that has run its course and it really needs to end. Cody and Show worked a pretty decent feud, but they have taken it as far as possible. Not only that, but Cody hasn't been looking so good as of late. Ever since losing to Show at WM, Cody has been on a bit of a losing streak. I personally think Cody is one of the best rising stars in the company, but they need to end it here or else his stock will continue to decrease. I'm still not big on Show (big on Show….GET IT!!!) being the IC title. For some reason, I think the thing that bothers me the most is the IC title is so small when pictured on Show. I almost expect for Show to rip off that gold and start chowing down on some chocolate right before your very eyes. I wonder what would happen afterwords? 

And that would be a realistic response by Show. Anyway, as I'm writing this article, I still have no idea what the Extreme Rules stipulation will be headed into this match. It will probably end up being a "Destroy Cody Rhodes" match. Seems appropriate with what's been happening as of late. 

Who should win:
It's questions like this that can get me in a lot of trouble. I know the internet wants me to say Cody, but I think Cody has moved on from being IC champion and should go after a bigger prize. Then again, I personally want to see someone else be the IC champion outside of Show. Yes, I'm being difficult. At least I'm upfront with it. 

Who creative will pick:
Creative is probably starting to check in, but they still don't care. Let's ask "Dashing" Cody Rhodes what he thinks?

Uhhhhhhhhhh……I really don't know how to respond to that. 

My final pick:
All signs are pointing to Show, so I gotta go with the giant to retain the title. 

Kane vs Randy Orton; Falls Count Anywhere match

A storyline that has gotten a little more intriguing after WM. I'm not sure if this is how some of you fell about this storyline, but I fell this rivalry started to get interesting when Kane went out of his way to take out Randy's father, "Cowboy" Bob Orton. I think it raised the sakes of the rivalry. It seems that this feud was thrown together for the sake of WM (with a storyline that's at least passable), but the two have at least turned it into something semi-interesting. I know some people are not really interested in this feud or the matches. I know that Kane is on his last legs, but I think he's done pretty well in the two matches with Randy. With this being FCA, it won't focus on wrestling quality. This will simply be a fight. I do wonder how well they can put this match together. The elements are there for it to get brutal, but they will only go so far in this day in age. Like the Cody/Show rivalry, I don't expect this rivalry to continue. It started to heat up when Kane went into his bag of tricks, but there really isn't any reason for this to continue…..Unless they have a plot twist in mind. Yeah, I don't have a lot to say with this one either. 

Who should win:
The face normally wins the last match. The storyline is set up for Randy to avenge his father. Yeah, I'm sure Randy won't subject to that…

……Or maybe he would?

Who creative will pick:
Creative staff will probably now start to care. They probably want to end this rivalry, so it's time for the good guy to get his. Yes, Randy is the good guy…..Even thought that can throw some people off. 

My final pick:
I think this is an easy one. I pick Randy to end this rivalry. I hope they can put on a decent match. 

Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan; Two out of Three falls match for WHC

I would hope that with this being a 2 out of 3 falls match, it will be given the proper amount of screen time. I talked about this in my WM 28 review, but I was disappointed that it ended up being a 18 second match. In a strange way, the 18 second lost has done wonders for Bryan. The guy was picking up a cult following with his M. Bison impression and I think his character has gotten better during this time frame. I've said this for months, but Bryan is really getting comfortable with his heel character. He really thinks he's the best thing on this planet, but he's a nerd in so many ways. He also blames others for his misfortunes. He broke up with AJ because he thought the kiss she wanted at WM was bad luck and wished she wasn't even born. For a nerd, he has a really bad attitude. Then again, that's what makes him awesome. Since people have been supporting Bryan, some have thought if WWE would turn him face. I really hope this isn't the case. Bryan always seemed awkward as a face. As a bad guy, he feels comfortable. He's also over-the-top. Hell, you have to be over-the-top if you're having an orgy every week on WWE programming. As for Sheamus, his character has remained the same since winning the WHC. The only difference is Sheamus is in a bit of hot water with Laurinaitis. You almost wonder who gets more screen time, Hogan or Johnny? Then again, that's another topic for another day. Sheamus is on probation for attacking a referee in the Alberto Del Rio match. I hope we get the match that we missed out on at WM. If they pull the WM stunt again, I don't know what I'll do. 

Who should win:
Even though Bryan is quickly becoming my favorite character on this show, Sheamus should get the victory. I hope they still use Bryan after this match. Fans definitely want to see him. Unfortunately, the WHC situation might be getting worse since Del Rio is next in-line for a world title match. Ricardo Rodriguez is really gonna have to up the shenanigans in order to help that rivalry. Ricardo really is the best part of Del Rio. Del Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii*checks watch*iiiiiiiiiiiiiiioooooooooooooooooooo. 

Who creative will pick:
Creative will do one of two things. Either Sheamus wins two matches right away or it will go down to the final fall. Other than that, I think creative has Sheamus in mind. 

My final pick:
Bryan might be saying "Yes", but I'm saying "No"…

Sheamus to retain the WHC. 

CM Punk vs Chris Jericho; Chicago Street Fight for the WWE Championship

So, I still want to know what separates a Chicago Street Fight from a normal street fight. Oh well, it's not important. Ever since WM, Jericho has gotten even deeper with this alcohol thing. He has poured alcohol on Punk and even tried to get him stripped of the title. Then again, it lead to the best sobriety test ever. It was wrestling logic, but it was funny. Because of Jericho's mind-games, Punk has vowed to go in that dark place Jericho has sent him and he will use it to beat the crap out of him. I know some people have not enjoyed how this storyline has gone about, but I'm enjoying it. It's not very clear if this rivalry will end at ER. There's the chance that Jericho wins the title and we get one more match. Um, let me try that again. ONE MORE MATCH!!! Yeah, but the storyline is set up for Punk to overcome his demons and defeat Jericho. There's always the possibility that Punk is so obsessed with revenge that it clouds his judgment, thus leading him to make a mistake and lose the match. This match can go either way at the present time. Once again, I don't have a whole lot to say about this match. I think it's because the match happened at WM and I already talked about this match in the WM rundown. In fact, I think that's why most of the rundown has been short. Extreme Rules should be called WrestleMania 2.0. 

Who should win:
I'm a big Punk fan, but I want to see Jericho get this one. Just because I think they can really pull out all the stops in the final encounter. Then again, this match can be the final encounter. Regardless, I'm sure they will find a way to make their match stand out. They are just that good. 

Who creative will pick:
If they want the rivalry to continue, Jericho would need to steal this one. It's possible to get one more match between the two and have Punk the victor, but it makes more sense for Jericho to win this time around. Then again, creative also knows when Jericho is gonna be taking another break from the company…..Despite the dirt sheets saying otherwise. 

My final pick:
I've gone back and forth with this one for a while, but I'm sticking with Punk to retain the championship. Jericho can certainly win, but I think the Best in the World will take this one. And I'm not basing that decision because this is Punk's hometown. Lots of people lose in their hometown, so Punk isn't immune to the hometown curse. NOBODY!!!

John Cena vs Brock Lesnar; Extreme Rules match

The storyline here is pretty simple to follow. Cena has been feeling a little down since he lost to the Rock at WM. In fact, he's been feeling green. Am I right? 

I REGRET NOTHING!!! Anyway, Cena seems to have lost his confidence/mojo since WM. He has struggled against opponents he normally wouldn't have too much trouble with. Not only that, but Laurinaitis doesn't like Cena. He wants to break him and declare a new face of the WWE. In order to crush Cena, he brings in Lesnar. Brock is simple a wrecking machine. The guy just wants to beat people up and doesn't seem to care about the fans, the wrestlers, and even the WWE itself. Brock has sure made himself to be a God in the company, but I guess that's the idea. Cena finally got the full picture when Edge showed up and tried to get Cena to open his eyes and realize that he can't allow himself to lose. With Brock acting like a douche and Cena trying to find himself, this storyline has it set up for you to support Cena. Now, I know many people don't want to support Cena since they want to see him lose. I think one of these three things will end up happening. Either Cena will win in his normal fashion. Thus, Cena goes back to what he used to do. If they did that, I would be very disappointed to say the least. You can keep Cena as a face, but try something a little different as opposed to going back to the common Cena formula. I do get tired of seeing that smile on Cena's face from week-to-week. Seriously, that can get a little annoying. I respect Cena, but it does get tiring seeing this act over and over again. The second thought I had was Cena winning, but still having a character tweak. We saw Cena come out to his old chain on Raw, so it might be a sign that Cena will go back to his roots. I don't think Cena will completely go back to the rapper gimmick, but he can use it once in a while to further his new character. I would like to see Cena come out with some attitude or aggression since the smiling Cena is really getting old. STOP SMILING!!! The other idea is for Cena to lose to Brock, but for Cena to finally unleash the anger and frustration that has been building up for some time. That's right, folks. Cena might actually show signs of turning heel. Then again, what would really tell a good story is by having Cena lose, but don't bring him on television for a while. When I say a while, I mean keep him off TV for months. Really start to play into casual fans' head that Cena really has lost his confidence. Then BAM!!! Cena returns and the fans are happy to see him back. That's when he does the coward thing and attacks the good guy. If Punk is still the champion when that happens, Cena would take out Punk. That's when Cena can tell the fans to shove it and let the heel run commence. I think it was be awesome since it would build up suspense for the WWE. Then again, I have a hard time thinking WWE would do this sort of thing. They don't like to keep active wrestlers on the shelf for too long. Still, I think this would be a great idea, but only if they are willing to invest the proper time to make this work. "Time" is the keyword here. 

Who should win:
I'm split on this. I can see the arguments for why Cena needs to lose, but also see the arguments for why Cena needs to win. We have already established that if Brock destroys Cena, he will probably end up in TNA with Hulk Hogan, Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, and anyone else Brock killed while working for WWE. 

No…..NO…..NOOOO…..NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!…………Okay, I'm done. 

Who creative will pick:
Creative has already told me who will win. The winner of the match will be…….

Well, I can't wait till that happens. 

My final pick:
I have a hard time thinking Cena will lose two PPVs in a row. At the same time, it's a very strong possibility. This is a tough one, so I will have to flip a coin. I guess I'm going with Cena. 

That's gonna do it for the Extreme Rules Rundown. Overall, I think the PPV has a lot of potential. I think this can be one of the better PPVs. It will be a challenge to top WM 28, but it could happen. It will be interesting to see what ends up happening. Tell me what YOU think will end up happening at ER or what are your expectations for the show? I always like hearing back from you. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time. 

Friday, April 27, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling Review 4/26/12 (Open Fight Night=Bischoff orgy)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 4/26/12. How did the first episode of Open Fight Night fair? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with Hulk Hogan giving a pep talk to all of his champions. Way to blow your own load, Hogan. He said Samoa Joe and Magnus are the greatest tag team ever….

At the end of the day, Hogan decides that Joe and Magnus will defend their tag team titles. The guy said TNA has a large amount of tag team competition. You could combine the tag teams from BOTH WWE and TNA and can still count them on one hand. Hogan says Joe and Magnus will either defend the titles against the Motor City Machine Guns, Christopher Daniels and Kaz, Eric Young and ODB, and Mr. Anderson and Jeff Hardy. Yeah, cuz when you think of tag team wrestling, you think of the amazing tag team of Anderson and Hardy. Where would this show be without that inspiring tag team? Yeah, now we got a show……I'm done. Old man river will make his decision later in the show on who gets the title shot. 

Match #1: Devon vs Bully Ray; TV Championship
Devon comes out to defend his title. Since this is OFN, Devon challenges Bully Ray to a match. The TNA roster would watch the show for the rest of the night. Easiest paycheck ever. Bully arrives and isn't interested in the match, but Devon attacks him and we have a match. I'm shocked that I'm saying this, but this was probably the best match of the night. It was more like a slugfest, but the big guys found a way to make it work. The finish comes when Devon hits the Spinebuster for the clean victory. So, Devon beat Bully cleanly? Isn't Bully one of the major heels on this show, and he's losing to guys like Devon? For some reason, this irks me. I wasn't big on the idea of this match taking place. I understand that Devon has a vendetta against Bully since he backstabbed him, but I think another person would've been a better choice. Well, what's done is done. If you allow your mind to drift away from Bully being a major player on this show and the other stuff, you might like this match. In fact, that's what I did. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to do it all night long. 

Winner via pinfall and still TV Champion: Devon

Austin Aries is in the back and cuts a very short promo on how Bully lost this match because he wasn't able to cheat. Nice for Aries to use the previous match as a segway for his speech. He wants to make an impression later tonight. The impression that I get. Hey, don't judge. There's a backstage scene with Kurt Angle, Daniels, and Kaz. Kurt is pissed off at Daniels and Kaz for interfering in his match last week. Kurt warns them to not get involved in his match or he will unleash a side of Kurt you have never seen before. Kurt unleashed? He's not gonna turn into a werehog now, is he? 

Match #2: Jeremy Borash vs Eric Bischoff
Jeremy Borash comes to the ring and calls out Eric Bischoff. If you aren't apart of the IWC or a hardcore fan of TNA, you would have no idea what this is about. Hell, even I know very little about this and I'm on the internet. I don't have all the details, but I can give you the abridged version. Borash and Bischoff had a falling out over on Twitter/Facebook. Bischoff said how Borash is not good at his job……or he doesn't like him…..something involving alcohol…..shrimp cocktail? Something along those lines. I told you I didn't know all the facts, and I honestly don't care. Yeah, so don't even bother trying to explain it to me. Anyway, Borash gloats about how Bischoff is out of a job and how he deserves it. Borash challenges Eric to a match. Bully shows up and hits a low blow on Borash. Eric pins Borash. Yeah, I like how Borash just stands there and takes the pinfall. I get that Bully literally just busted his balls, but you have this wonderful things called arms and shoulders. Try using them next time. Eric's position during the pinfall looked weird too. It almost looked like Eric was in sexual position for Borash. How did THIS make it past the censors? So, Eric finds a way to have some fun despite this being his last day on the show. What does it do in the long-run? Absolutely nothing. That's a great use of time, TNA. Then again, it's only for one night, so I can let it slide……for now. The other thing I didn't like is that this scene was because of something that happened on Twitter/Facebook. If you want to use something that happened on Twitter/Facebook for the show, that's okay; but for the love of God, explain it to the general audience. Not everyone pays attention to Twitter, so imagine this being shown to someone who has no knowledge of this? They would literally say, "What the hell is going on?" and be confused with what they are seeing. It isn't like Borash is a regular character on this show. General audience probably saw Borash and said, "Who is that?". Yeah, I honestly can't blame you if you thought that. Now, I'm not hating on Borash. I think the guy does solid work for this company and is under appreciated for what he does, but the general audience is still clueless on who he is and what he represents. Hell, even I was lost during this scene. The Impact Zone ate it up, but don't use that as an argument The Impact Zone cheers for anything. They would cheer their asses off and say "This is awesome" if you threw a Snickers bar in their face. Speaking of Bischoff, why are the not editing his name like last week? Either stick with the concept or just leave it alone. It just looks stupid at the end of the day. Maybe it cost extra for that bleep sound?

Winner via pinfall: Eric Bischoff

Match #3: Anarquia vs Kurt Angle
Mexican America comes out and talks about being disrespected. They issue an open challenge to anyone in the back. An open challenge on OFN? That's crazy talk. So, Kurt accepts a match against Mexican America? Did he just turn face? Well, that has to be the laziest face turn ever. It's like they didn't even try. Match lasted about a minute. Kurt wins with the Ankle Lock submission hold. Tune in for next week when Kurt says he hates you and turns heel again. Seriously, he will go out there and say three words in order to turn heel. 

Winner via submission: Kurt Angle

Match #4: Alex Silva vs Robbie E
So, you're probably wondering who in the world is Alex Silva. Well, this is the guy being brought in for the Gut Check. The Gut Check is when they give a random Indy guy a tryout and three judges determine if he gets a contact or not. I gotta hand it to TNA. They managed to find someone more generic than Garett Bischoff. Nothing about this guy stands out. He's got tattoos. Yeah……so does 75% of the wrestles from around the world. Then again, this is just his look. We can't judge a book by its cover. Al Snow introduced Silva and claimed to be one of the judges. We are in the middle of a Gut Check match and we don't know the identities of the three judges yet? Is this idea even finished? This pretty much tells me that TNA thought of an idea and rushed it. Nothing good comes from rushing anything, let alone a concept like this. Silva lost in minutes to a DDT by Robbie E. The guy didn't even get to attack. It was pretty much a jobber/squash match. Wasn't the idea of this concept to show off what these guys had the ability to do? So, why are they having him get killed? The guy probably got about seven minutes of screen time. Its almost like they sent the guy out there to fail. You would think that TNA would want to make an everlasting impression with first OFN, but how does a jobber match do that? Maybe that was the idea. The commentators did say that Silva was very nervous, so that did transition well on TV. Still, this was not the best way to kick off the Gut Check. I feel really bad for Silva. He was pretty much thrown in the lion's den and was made to be a fool. Then again, maybe that's what they were going for? Who knows? The guy looks bad losing to Robbie in seconds. The same Robbie E that manages to get screen time every month. Yeah, so I don't come out with high hopes after the first Gut Check. It can only get better (I'm hoping), but you would think they would make this a special night since it's the first edition of the Gut Check. 

Winner via uncreative staff: Robbie E

Throughout the night, people would express their feelings on Bischoff leaving the company. I wish he was taking his son with him, but that's another story. Anyway, I'm skipping most of these segments. I like the line Dixie Carter said. She said she doesn't like Bischoff since she took the company from her. That's not what happened. Last I remember, Dixie was too stupid to read a contract and she signed her company away without thinking twice. You should always read the contract…..ALWAYS……

People in the wrestling world can really be idiots sometimes. We get a scene of Hogan talking to all the tag teams. This is when I remember the show starting to drag. Yeah, it was dragging before this, but it was very noticeable here. Hogan asks the tag teams why they deserve a title shot. Kaz and Daniels poke fun of the other teams, the MCMG have heart for the business, Anderson and Hardy don't get along and kiss, while ODB and Eric Young say…….wait, wait ,wait, WAIT!!! Did Anderson just kiss Hardy? Did he really kiss him on the cheek to make a sarcastic comment towards Hogan? 

You can tell Hogan is talking out of his ass when he mentions how ODB and EY are deserving of a tag team match. EY even made the offer that ODB would like to persuade Hogan in their hotel room. Hey, there's already one rumor going around of a Hogan sex tape. We don't need another. At the end of it, he eliminates the MCMG since he's concerned about Chris Sabin's knee. So, Hogan eliminates the only team that is a legit tag team? You know what. You try piecing tonight's show together. I gave up a long time ago. In fact, you review the rest of this show. You finish the review. I'm gonna play some video games while you finish up….

Hogan would re-group the remaining tag teams to make his decision. I know I'm jumping ahead, but I don't care anymore. Not sure why Hogan eliminated ODB and EY. I think EY sent Hogan a message to bribe him with the hotel room, but EY continues to act like an idiot. The dialogue didn't make much sense. So, I'm not a big fan of these scenes. Hogan is talking way too much. It shouldn't take this long to determine who gets what. I understand this is the main gimmick of OFN, but they need to make these scenes shorter. Oh, and I like how Hogan is one of the judges for Gut Check, but he isn't paying attention to Silva. You gotta try harder, brother!!!

Match #5: Tessmacher vs Gail Kim
Tessmacher challenges Gail to a match. Yeah, the wrestling world isn't talking about Tessmacher defeating Gail. In fact, I didn't even remember that until she brought it up. I don't know about you folks, but tonight's show feels like it's going really slow. The finish comes when Tessmacher hits the strangest finisher ever. It look like it did nothing to Gail. Tessmacher lifted her up, but Gail ended up going into the bulldog position. It looked really awkward. It almost looked like Gail KO'd herself. I'm not sure if it was a botch or miscommunication, but it looked off. At least in my eyes. Wasn't there a storyline between Gail and Velvet Sky? Why is Tessmacher now getting involved? Well, this should explain a few things. 

One guy in creative who pays attention: But it isn't gonna make sense from the previous scenes. 
Rest of creative staff: Who cares. Let's get our drink on. 

Winner via pinfall: Tessmacher

Kaz and Daniels are backstage. They talk tag team championship and exposing AJ Styles on next week. Silly Kaz and Daniels. TNA creative hasn't thought that far in advance. In fact, here's what I think will end up happening. Kaz and Daniels are close to exposing the "truth" until AJ shows up and attacks them. There goes another week of no answers. This storyline moves slower than a slug. Silva is backstage with Robert Roode. Bobby punches Silva and leaves. That's all Bobby does this week. If you're a Roode fan, tonight wasn't your night. Al explains to Silva he will be evaluated by the judges next week. They explained something? THEY EXPLAINED SOMETHING?

And I was ready to give them this tagline. Impact Wrestling: YOU figure it out, cuz we sure as hell aren't. Joseph Parks runs into Bully. Yeah, I told you he was in a hurry to find his brother. I like to think that Abyss is probably being tortured somewhere and Joseph is taking his sweet time in finding him. You gotta love wrestling logic. Well, at least something else on this show got me to laugh. Anyway, Bully says he knows nothing on Abyss and he would never tell him anyway. Once Bully leaves, Joseph starts to laugh. Hey, I'm laughing too. Let's all laugh…

…..I love the Joker, but not that Sting/Joker crap. 

Match #6: Samoa Joe and Magnus vs Mr. Anderson and Jeff Hardy; Tag Team Championships
Both teams arrive in the ring, but Hogan decides on Anderson and Hardy to get the match. I wonder how he determined who would get the match. It was probably a very complicated decision….

He picks Hardy and Anderson because they don't get along. Do I really have to go on another rant? Screw it, we're moving on. MOVING ON!!! This was a good match, but I didn't like it as much as the opening match. In fact, the show started off well, but it just hasn't been like that for the rest of the evening. The finish comes when Joe counters a rollthrough and applies the Chokehold. I loved how he applied it. Very cat-like……or fat-like. Whichever you prefer. Anderson taps out and Joe and Magnus remain champs. Great choice, brother!!!

Winner via submission and still Tag Champs: Samoa Joe and Magnus

Time for the Bischoff appreciation party. Flair, Gunner, Bully, Kaz, and Daniels are in the ring. They buy him a watch. Gunner talks about how Bischoff gave him opportunities. Yes he did…….and Gunner blew every single one of them. Bully says Bischoff is the wind beneath his wings. What, no Brokeback Mountain music for this part? Garett arrives with a couple of guys (including Aries, so at least they tied that together). Borash wants to induct Bischoff in the TNA Shed of Shame. Out comes a porter potty. A fight breaks out between the good and bad guys. Garett grabs his father and tosses him inside the porter potty. They tip it over, and the show ends with Bischoff covered in s***. What a perfect analogy. Eric's career is in the sh***er. Eric is down in the dumps. TNA took that s*** out of there. I can go on, but I think I've had my fun. 

Overall Impression:
For this being the first episode of OFN, it was very disappointing. To be fair, this is the first OFN and it was due to have some rough spots, but this didn't even looked like it was planned out. They bring in a guy who was made out of twigs to get destroyed by the failed, cloning experiment of Zack Ryder. Hogan's decision took longer than Lebron's decision, and the whole night was about Bischoff. I have no problem doing the Bischoff thing, but tonight was Open Fight Night. Couldn't they have waited to do the Bischoff stuff until next week? No, they wanted to jam it all in the same show. There was a lot of stuff going on tonight. It can be a challenge to keep track of everything that went on in this show. I'm sorry, but when I have to go back and re-watch certain clips just to listen to the dialogue or a finish, that ruins the fun for me. I wanted to like this show, but it honestly felt like a chore trying to watch this. In fact, I had to take several breaks while writing this article. Yeah, I really wasn't up for reviewing this episode. TNA tried to do things differently tonight, but it felt short on many areas. They will need to re-think the concept before the next OFN. I still think this is a great idea and I want to see new things on wrestling programs, but this was a very rough first outing. I just didn't find tonight's show fun and entertaining. Those are the two important elements when watching wrestling. Last week's show was fun and entertaining, so what happened here? Hopefully, they can polish up the errors of the first OFN and improve it. For this being the first OFN, I don't think it left the best impression. What do you think? Did you like the OFN? Did you think it bombed? Did you think it fell in-between and want to give it another chance? Right now, I would say I'm closer to the last one. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. Yeah, I really didn't enjoy writing this review, which is why I think this review sucks. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time. 

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw Review 4/23/12 (The looooooooonnnnnnnnnng review)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 4/23/12. With Extreme Rules set for this Sunday, how will the THREE HOUR RAW be able to set up the PPV? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with Teddy Long. Apparently, we are opening up with the Brock Lesnar/John Cena contract signing. I know it seems odd to open up with this segment, but that only means more shenanigans will come into play. Cena comes out and awaits Brock, but Brock never shows up. John Laurinaitis comes out and yells at Teddy. Apparently, Johnny told Teddy to get to the ring, while Teddy thought it was supposed to get ready for the contract signing. Teddy just can't catch a break. it also doesn't help Teddy's case that Brock isn't at the building yet. Johnny demands for Teddy to tell Cena to leave HIS ring. Teddy tells Cena to leave, so Teddy leaves the ring while Cena stays…..wait, what? Just as Cena is about to leave and Johnny preaches "People Power" (What does it mean?), Edge shows up and heads to the ring. Edge starts to talk and……wait, it's Edge? HOLY S***!!! Okay, now that I got that out of the way, let's continue. Edge has some choice words for Cena. He tells him that he doesn't want to talk to this current Cena. He wants the Cena that beat the crap out of him in a TLC match all of those years ago He wants the Cena that he considered his top rival, not this washed-out version of the guy. Edge talks about how Brock doesn't care about pro wrestling and he's here for money and fame. If Brock were to win the match at ER, it would be like spitting on the pro wrestling industry and the people who brought up the business. Edge ends his promo by telling Cena to wake up and orders him to defeat Lesnar. Wow, that was an awesome promo. Edge might not be able to compete anymore, but the guy can still go out there and make you pay attention with his words. Ever since Cena lost to the Rock, things have not gone well with Mr. Green Ranger. He had issues with fighting David Otunga. He lost to Lord Tensai, and the only brave thing he has done is bitch-slap Brock, but that was more reckless than brave. What's strange is this scene would get me to support Cena a little more. Then again, I think that was the idea, but I'm sure there's some people who didn't buy into that and still want to see the Cena rotisserie in Chicago. I like that Cena didn't say anything and remained silent. In fact, he did that for the rest of the night. I think it added a lot more to the scene and helped the build-up of this match. This will definitely be an interesting match. 

Match #1: Chris Jericho vs Kofi Kingston
As if Jericho couldn't get any more flashy, he now has blue AND red lights on his sparkle jacket. Hey, this isn't Independence Day? This was a pretty good match. Both Jericho and Kofi got a chance to shine and they were given a decent amount of time. The finish comes when Kofi goes for a top rope move, but ends up falling into the Codebreaker. Jericho decides to add insult to injury and lock in the Walls of Jericho. Kofi taps out and Jericho wins the match. After the match, Jericho ask the audience if we saw that coming. No, of course I didn't see that…..even though I reported it. I thought I blacked out during the whole thing. Amazing how I'm this fluent…..or as fluent as I get on here. Anyway, Jericho continues to poke fun of CM Punk and claims that he will be victorious this Sunday. He also bought a gift for Punk and hopes he enjoys. Let me guess? It's alcohol, right? 

Winner via submission: Chris Jericho

Throughout the night, we would see one of the previous WWE matches in Brock's career. They showed the highlights of Brock defeating Jeff Hardy, Hulk Hogan, and Kurt Angle. Oh damn…….OH DAMN!!! I knew Brock liked to kick ass, but I didn't think he had this ability. He beats his opponents so badly that they have to work for TNA. OH NOOOOOOOO!!! THE HORROR!!! This would be reason #456921 for the TNA fans to hate me. I probably should stop with the TNA jokes, but these are too easy. 

There's a backstage scene with Roboinaitis and Eve. Johnny offers Eve a new job. She is now known as the executive administrator. She doesn't seem thrilled at first, but she accepts the job. Johnny wants a hug, but Eve offers a handshake. Amazing how every single guy standing next to Eve is thinking with their dick. Then again, there's many people who would probably fall for this in real life. There's also a Punk interview in the back with Josh Matthews. It turns out that the gift Jericho gave Punk was an alcohol basket. Stevie Wonder saw that coming. Personally, I was hoping for a Nintendo 3DS to mix it up, but what are you gonna do? Punk ends up keeping one of the bottles and gives the rest to Josh. What I think would be hilarious is if Josh did the commentary on Smackdown this week all drunk. He would be all, "I'm calflooing thees match aannndd i'm gonbe…..and somethung and…..where am I". It would be a SD for the ages. If only they would add William Regal to the show. REGAL!!!

Match #2: Lord Tensai vs R-Truth
Now, Truth manages to not be as much of a pushover as Alex Riley or Yoshi Tatsu, but he would eventually fall to Tatsu from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. Seriously, that's what he looks like….

The finish comes when Tensai does the green mist on his hand and locks in the mandible claw. He slams him down to the ground with the move. So, would this be considered a mandible claw slam? Like I said a while back with Brodus Clay, Tensai eventually needs a storyline of some kind. He's still new, so you can get away with squash matches for a while, but I hope we're not three months down the road and we are still doing the same thing. I better not be talking about this three months from now or else I'll have to quit…….No, I won't allow that. 

Winner via pinfall: Lord Tensai

Kane is now in the ring and has something to say. He talks about how Randy Orton can't defeat him since he knows his weakness. Kane got really creepy during this promo. It was intimidating, but perhaps a little too intimidating since he starts to talk about scarring kids who don't have their fathers there to protect them. Randy is on the titantron and says nobody messes with his family. Randy wants to return the favor. Randy has Paul Bearer tied up on a wheelchair. So, over a year later and Paul is STILL in that wheelchair? I guess he loves that chair. Randy pushes Paul into a freezer and sees if Kane will take the bait…..

Kane is a little concerned at first, but starts to laugh. He says showing affection for Paul is a human emotion, which he doesn't do anymore. Kane starts to walk out of the ring, but Randy decides to bring the fight to him. They two fight for a while, but Randy gets the advantage when he pulls out a lead pipe. Kane retreats through the live audience while Randy poses in front of the audience. So, we haven't seen Paul in months and it appears he's getting killed off again. I know I should show concern for Paul, but his character has been killed off so many times that it doesn't even matter anymore. 

Paul Bearer: Save me, Kane. SAVE ME!!!!!
Kane: Oh, you'll show up in another year or so. You'll be fine. Have I ever been wrong?

See, if Kane isn't gonna sweat it, I won't either. 

Backstage where Alex Riley runs into Jericho. Riley says he looked in Punk's locker room and saw Punk drinking. Why is Riley looking in there in the first place? Jericho decides to take a peak. We see a shot of Punk drinking from a plastic cup, but the Jack Daniels bottle is still there. Since it looks like Punk is drinking, Jericho starts to get excited. So, Punk is drinking….

Match #3: Alberto Del Rio and Cody Rhodes vs Big Show and Great Khali
Khali is still selling the knee injury from last week. Either that or that's his normal walk pattern. There was a point they did some shenanigans for the bad guys to take the advantage, but you can tell the referee saw it. He turned away quickly, as if he didn't see anything. It's like he's saying, "I didn't see anything. I didn't see the interference. Lalalalalala…..". The finish comes when Del Rio leaves Cody to defend himself. Show hits the Chokeslam on Cody and the match is over. It was announced that Show vs Cody will happen at ER, but the gimmick has yet to be determined. This rivalry will most likely be over at ER. There isn't much of a reason to keep it going at this point. 

Winner via pinfall: Big Show and Great Khali

Another backstage scene. Damn, there's a lot of story on tonight's show. Then again, it's a three hour show and they really want the ER PPV to sell. Yeah, this is gonna be one of the longer reviews. Sorry, but it's unavoidable. Jericho makes his plea towards Johnny and Eve that Punk should be stripped of the title because he's drunk. Eve brings up how the champions aren't supposed to be drinking within a 12 hour period. Wait, so she got familiar with all the rules in about 15 minutes? Not only is there a lot of story, but there's a lot of wrestling logic tonight. It's everywhere. Anyway, Johnny says Teddy will conduct a sobriety test in the middle of the ring. If Punk fails, he will be stripped of the WWE title. Wait, so you can't have alcohol in your system in a 12 hour span if you work for this company? Well, I guess you can blame Stone Cold Steve Austin and the APA for all of these new rules in the WWE. Yes, the wrestling logic is strong with this one. Oh, and Lesnar beats up Josh Matthews for asking him a bunch of stupid questions. I know I should feel bad, but Matthews deserved it since he tends to ask the dumbest questions in the world. Oh, the power of the script. Matthews is taken out on a stretcher while we have to reflect on how Brock doesn't care about anyone but himself……and his breakfast. Well, so much for the drunken SD. 

Match #4: Beth Phoenix vs Nikki Bella; Divas Championship
Before the match started, Eve came out and made this a Lumberjill match. The match was very boring, but this was probably some of the strangest scenes out of the whole evening. Beth knocks Nikki on the outside, but she ends up twisting her ankle/heel while going to the ground. At first, the divas did nothing to either person, but then started to dog-pile Beth. They eventually toss them both in the ring. The ref ask if Beth wants to continue, which she does. Nikki ends up getting a rollup on Beth and we have a new Divas Champion. So, a lot of things to look at here. The first one being the injury angle……or was it a legit injury? I wouldn't be surprised if the plan was for Beth to drop the title. It was practically given away by Cole when he mentioned how long Beth's title reign lasted. Yeah, you kinda gave that one away, but that's another discussion for another day. Even if the plan was for Beth to drop the title, it did seem like she hurt herself when she landed hard on her heel. That's not a good sign. If it was a work, then I would say Beth sold the hell out of it, but it looked too real. In terms of how Beth's reign was going, it really doesn't make a whole lot of sense for her to drop the title to Nikki, but I stopped trying to make sense out of the diva division a long time ago. If Beth is hurt, I hope it isn't anything serious. I never wish harm on these competitors. Now, the other story is Nikki winning the title……which I'm sure is going to anger the IWC. Then again, what doesn't anger the IWC? Anyway, Nikki winning the title doesn't make a whole lot of sense. So, many of you are wondering what's the deal here? Well, it turns out both Bella Twins have their contracts expiring very soon with the company. There has been a dirt sheet report saying that the Bellas aren't interested in re-signing another deal with the company, but officials want to keep them around. While I say the dirt sheets isn't something I look into since a lot of them are wrong, they are right on occasion. I think I'm gonna lean towards this report being true since it would make total sense for the WWE to give Nikki the Divas Title. Almost as it was an offering in order to persuade the Bellas to re-sign another deal. Well, only time will tell if the Bellas do re-sign on another contract. We could end up finding out the answer to that question very soon. I'm gonna toss this out there right now. I think what will end up happening is Kharma showing up to kill the Bellas. You heard it here, folks. 

Winner via pinfall and NEW Divas Champion: Nikki Bella

We are now in the ring for the sobriety test of CM Punk. There was a scene backstage of Teddy informing Punk on the bad news, but the guy seemed out of it. Almost as if he was drunk…..

Punk walks to the ring, but is stumbling to the ring….

STOP THAT!!! Who keeps doing that? Cut it out. Okay, I think it's gonna stop. Jericho is in the ring to "help" with the test. There are a couple of police officers in the ring. Yeah, those guys looked so excited to be there. They tell Punk to say the alphabet backwards. Punk screws it up and says its stupid to say the alphabet backwards since nobody can do it. You know what? Punk totally has a point here. When will saying the alphabet backwards come in to help you in this world?

Oh, sorry. I was just asking. I don't actually have a joke for this bit…..MOVING ALONG!!!

They tell Punk to walk in a straight line, but he bombs the test. I love the Karate Kid reference in this shot. Punk always finds a way to make me laugh. Jericho demands for Teddy to strip Punk of the title because he's drunk. The officers say Punk is drunk and……walk away? Shouldn't they arrest him? I guess we just got a crane kick full of wrestling logic. Anyway, Teddy wants Punk to hand over the title. They're gonna strip Punk of the title….

SON OF A BITCH!!! Anyway, Punk demands for one more chance. Punk proceeds to say the alphabet backwards in the correct fashion, while walking a straight line. He even managed to sneak in the moonwalk and the Ric Flair strut. This is hilarious. This was by-far the funniest scene of the night. Since Punk was saying the alphabet backwards, it's time for someone to rewind the tape and nit pick the segment in a very angry manor. Yeah, I'm sure he made an error, but who cares? It's CM Punk being absolutely hilarious, so who cares if he made a slight mistake. After Punk is all finished, he takes the mic and smashes it on Jericho's head. Punk attacks Jericho, but Jericho eventually runs away. The segment ends with Teddy giving the WWE title back to Punk. So, I guess Punk was setting Jericho up from the beginning in order to get him to drop his guard. He also went out of his way to entertain the audience, so I'm fine with this approach. I would like to think Punk thought this far in advance that Riley was apart of the plan. Hey, at least Riley made it on Raw without getting his ass kicked. I can see some people not liking this segment because it wasn't taken serious enough, but I personally love this scene. I realize this isn't for everyone, but those are my thoughts. I'm still looking forward to the match. It will get serious at the PPV, but I think they wanted to have a little bit of fun. Oh, and it was hilarious that they edited off WW*, what? WW*. I can never win….

Match #5: Sheamus vs Mark Henry
Now, how in the world can they follow up that Punk/Jericho act? Well, we have a special guest referee for this match. It's none other than….

One thing I haven't brought up is the audience. I thought this was a pretty good crowd. They were having a little bit of fun, which is what I want to see on my wrestling programs. Bryan is trying to get Sheamus to attack him because of the probation deal. The finish comes when Henry hits Sheamus from behind and covers him. Bryan makes the fastest three count in history and Henry wins the match. After the match, Sheamus is pissed off while Bryan tosses his ref shirt at Sheamus. As Bryan is walking away, Sheamus chases him down, but Bryan is headed back to the ring. Sheamus ends up hitting Brogue Kick on Henry, but Bryan is able to attack Sheamus and apply the Yes Lock. Bryan leaves the ring, but not before a few more "Yes" chants. Bryan is really becoming one of my favorite heels in pro wrestling. Is he over-the-top? Yes, but this is also pro wrestling, where everything is generally over-the-top. 

Match #6: Primo and Epico vs Zack Ryder and Santino
I did forget to mention that Santino will defend the US Championship against the Miz in the ER pre-show. The pre-show will be available on youtube. I haven't really brought this up, but that's something I miss. Back in my day, we got to see a preview match before the PPV and it was free to the general audience. Glad to see they are trying to bring back the concept. Anyway, this was a pretty short match. The finish comes when Santino acts like a Highlander by dodging a dropkick as if it was a piece of paper. Santino hits the Cobra on Primo for the victory. That's two weeks in a row the Tag Champs have been featured and lost. I wonder where this is going?

Winner via pinfall: Santino and Zack Ryder

Kane is in the back and finds Paul. He pulls him out of the freezer…..only to put him back in. I guess he was checking to see how many lives Paul had in his disposal. Paul Bearer: move lives than a box of kittens. The scene does seem a little pointless, but I guess they really wanted to show how Kane has no human emotions. AW runs into Primo and Epico. He says for being tag team champs, they aren't getting the respect they deserved. He hands them his card and tells him he can help them out. So, I guess Henry has given up on the whole AW thing. Either that or Henry threaten to eat AW. Hey, I'd be scared too. 

Match #7: Brodus Clay and Hornswoggle vs Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger
It's kinda sad that Dolph ended up drifting back into the mid-card. Especially since he was making tremendous strides. A move to SD can really benefit the guy. Hornswoggle is dressed up like Brodus…….yeah? Naw? Idontknow? Anyway, this match was presented by Doritos Loco Tacos from Taco Bell. Why, you may ask? 

Aaaaaaannnnnnnd, there you go. The match didn't last long. Vickie Guerrero got in the ring and slapped Brodus, thus calling for the bell. You……you……you idiot. What in the world is gonna get accomplished by slapping a man who looks like he ate a monster truck for lunch? Brodus' dancers are in the ring and they all surround Vickie. Vickie starts to be nice and hands Brodus his hat. She even starts to do the Thriller dance that Brodus does. Or as Booker T would call it, THE DACTYL!!! Hornswoggle ends up biting Vickie in the ass. You mock this, but I bet there are many guys who wish they were Hornswoggle right about now. So, they seem to be doing something with Brodus, but they also aren't at the same time. They have set up a program with Brodus and Vickie's stable, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere since Brodus always wins. We need more storytelling here, but maybe that's not the idea since it always turns into a comedy segment. I have no problem if they want to do the comedy, but I do want to see some storytelling aspects for this rivalry or else it just makes it pointless filler. Then again, maybe that is the idea?

Winner via DQ: Brodus Clay and Hornswoggle

We are finally ready for the contract signing between Cena and Brock, but Cena doesn't show up. Brock is fine with Cena not showing up because Brock wants to make some changes to his contract. He demands for Johnny to sit down and approve the new deal or else he will NOT compete at ER. Some of the things Brock asked for were ridiculous. He wanted more money, Vince McMahon's private jet to and from arenas…….How does that work? Johnny might be the GM, but I don't think he has the right to take Vince's jet without his approval. Then again, its more wrestling logic. Brock claims he will show up whenever the hell he wants and the name of the show will be called Monday Night Raw starring Brock Lesnar. Wait, so we change the name of the show, but no WWE ice cream bars? What is wrong with this world? Without even thinking about it, Johnny agrees to the new deal for Brock and signs it. Brock did forget to mention one thing. Well, it just so happens that I have a zoom-in feature on my television set and I will tell you. It says that Johnny has to give Brock his balls. He really means it too. Johnny has to literally chop off his balls and hand them over to Brock. I don't know what Brock would want with Roboinaitis' balls, but I'm not gonna question the man. I know he's a robot, but its gotta be painful. Anyway, Cena finally arrives, but is wearing his old school chain from his rapper days. Cena says nothing and uses the chain to make a fist. Brock demands for Cena to sign the contact, but Cena is very nervous at first. Brock says that Cena is scared of Brock and knows he can't win. Cena signs the contract lightening fast and throws the contract in Brock's face. Brock is up in a hurry, but starts to laugh. It seems like its gonna go down, but Brock is not gonna jump in a fight with a guy who has Major Armstrong's mitten on his hand. The show ends with Brock leaving, but is able to laugh about it, while we get a very serious Cena in the ring. The audience was very much behind Cena for this scene. Like I said earlier, I liked Cena's character tonight because he was serious. Edge went in there and slapped the stupid smile off his face, and I think it tells a better story at the end of the day. I think the idea for tonight was to establish how much Brock doesn't care for the WWE and is only there to beat people up. I think some people may have switch sides, which is why the positive Cena chants were a little louder tonight. And I'm hearing a lot of people crapping on Brock for his promo work. I will say this. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good at the same time. Brock has improved in the eight years he has been away from the business. People who are complaining about this promo, go watch his promos from eight years ago and then come back to me. I enjoyed this scene, but I can see why people didn't like it. I guess it's because I don't take pro wrestling too seriously and allow my mind to drift away. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Overall Impression:
There was a lot of stuff to go over in this show. There was so much going on that I almost thought that the show lasted longer than three hours. I thought for a three hour show and with ER this Sunday, this was a good show leading up into the PPV. I know most of the complaints are gonna be all the talking/segments and the fact there was very little action, but you should be used to this by now. On the week of a PPV, it's typical for the action portion of the show to be lacking. This really shouldn't be a news flash to you anymore…..Unless you started watching wrestling today. Besides, did nobody remember the Jericho/Kofi match? I thought that was a great match. Outside of that match, the action was really lacking. I can't argue against that, but they generally want to play it safe leading up into a PPV. Heck, they played it safe and look what happened to Beth Phoenix? I hope it's not too serious and she has a speedy recovery. Punk and Jericho's shenanigans were pretty hilarious. If you hated it, that's fine. Then again, I like to have a little fun on my wrestling shows and I thought Punk's delivery was good. The idea of tonight's show was to build up ER, and I think they nailed that down. I find myself very interested in this upcoming PPV and I want to see what will happen at the event. It can always bomb, but I think this can be a fun and important show. Will Cena win and go back to normal? Will he win, but become more serious? Will Cena lose and finally snap? There are all very good questions. I'm probably the minority on this, but I enjoyed tonight's Raw. The promos were good and entertaining. Well, it wouldn't be the first time I was the minority on something, and it probably won't be the last. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.