What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 3/18/13. How will I get trolled this week? Let's find out and start the review.
The battle of the pointless cereal boxes
We open up the show with John Cena plugging his new T-shirt. Seriously, that's all he's doing here. Way to suck up to the Pittsburgh audience by wearing yellow and black. Come on, you expect me to buy that as coincidence? The Prime Time Pla--Oh, excuse me. Apparently, this is Darren Young and Buckwheat. What is going on here? You have Titus O'Pancake talking about Coco Pebbles and whatnot. What is this s***? Actually, I kinda like this. It was funny, but mostly because of how bad it was. This is what happens when King Fruity Pebble writes the script. I think the commercial break lasted longer than the actual match. Your winner is John Cena White.
Feed me dark meat!!!
Yeah, who seriously thought David Otunga had a chance against Ryback? After the match, Ryback promotes his WM match with the Shield until Mark Henry interrupted. Teddy Long is about to promote a tag team match until Vickie Guerrero takes Ryback out of the six-man tag match to go up against Henry. Yeah, that's something I can get down with. I seriously don't know what they were thinking by putting Ryback in a tag match against the Shield. How is he gonna be a big singles star if he doesn't win some single matches at the PPVs? Besides, I was growing tired of Ryback being thrown in the six-man tag matches. I think taking down a big guy like Henry at the grandest stage will do more for him than the tag match. Replacing Ryback in the tag match will be Big Show. Based on the events for the last few weeks, this was the best course of action. I think I mentioned how I don't mind Show being apart of Team WWE to take down the Shield. He has nothing else going on, so I'm fine with him taking part in this match. Still, I always find it funny how the audience will immediately start cheering you for one act of heroism. One good deed magically erases all the dick moves you've done for months. Gotta love that wrestling logic.
I think Fandango is the slowest promo cutter in the history of this company. He skips out on his debut yet again. I wonder how the career of faaaaannnnjoooobbbeeeeeeer is gonna fair at the end of the day. We also bear witness to Damien Sandow walking away from R-Truth. Really? Sandow walks away from Truth? Even when they write you into a rivalry, you still have no storyline. Yeah, something seems very wrong with this picture. Meanwhile, the Bellas want to go on a mustache ride. The filler is strong with this part of the show. Why am I even talking about this?
CM Punk and Undertaker
So, you're probably wonder what more could CM Punk do to piss off Taker. Well, how about juggling the urn and dropping it on the ground. I don't know why, but I can see Punk actually destroy the urn in the upcoming weeks. This is all done to fuel their rivalry. Even though he isn't with us anymore, Paul Bearer is playing a big role in this rivalry. Can't wait to see more build between the two. At the same time, it's kinda sad that two weeks of build for this match is more intriguing than the 2+ year build for the two Rock/Cena matches.
You crazy bitch!
The match between Team Hell No and Puerto Rican Express goes nowhere, but this was mostly put together to have AJ attempt a distraction. We would find out later in the night that Team Hell No will defend the tag titles against Dolph Ziggler and Big E at WM. So, let me ask a legit question. Has Big E even had a match on WWE programming? You've been there for 3-4 months and just getting around to your first match? Wow, that is a kick-ass contract. I want one of those. I'm not really sure how I feel about this match. It does give them something to do, but I can't help but think this feels forced. It was like they started throwing darts on a board to determine what everybody else will do at WM. Anytime you get a triple threat/fatal 4-way, it means the dart landed in between two. What the hell am I even talking about?
Jack Swagger and Alberto Del Rio continue to build upon their rivalry for WM. Swagger took out Ricardo with the Patriot Lock. In terms of the storyline, it appears Swagger broke the ankle of Ricardo Rodriguez. Oh great. Who's gonna wash Del Rio's car now? Speaking of which, did Del Rio's car get repossessed or something? I've talked about my positives and negatives with the Del Rio/Swagger rivalry. While they've done a good job in building up the rivalry between Del Rio and Zeb Coulter (Seriously, that's the true rivalry in all of this), I think they could've done a lot more for Swagger. I think part of the reason some people aren't taking a liking into this storyline is because of how Swagger got rushed into this spotlight. Wouldn't you have preferred for Swagger to start this 'We the People' routine about 3-4 months ago? If they did that, I think it would've added a lot more to this rivalry. I'll admit that the reason it took me a while to get into this program is because of how Swagger was just thrown into this spot with barely any development. They've done well in the short time to make the match mean something, but time also worked against this angle. If you're interested, the Del Rio/Cody Rhodes match was at least entertaining.
I'm skipping the Dolph/Kofi and Celtic Viper/3MB matches since they were both short and didn't amount to much. It was during these spots where we find out a couple of new WM matches, but I already talked about them in the article and don't feel like repeating myself. In the meantime, here's this song. Why? Because I can. WrestlingNerd Page: Where professionalism doesn't exists….
Intercontinental Championship match
I'm starting to wonder if the WWE Championship was ever real. It's about as transparent as Casper right now. I'm guessing the Rock didn't pay off the via satellite crew last month. In a fun match, Wade Barrett steals the match with a rollup. This doesn't really end things between Wade and Jericho. My vote is still for Wade/Jericho at WM. As for Miz, he could work the concession stands. Hey, people need to get their beer and popcorn, am I right?
Contract Signing Extreme!!!
It's time for the contract signing, but not before we look at some Touts. I'm sure this happens on the site, but I want to see them broadcast some trolled Touts. Brock vs Trips in a Duct Tape match. Brock vs Trips in a Tuxedo match. How about Brock vs Trips in a Bra and Pan---I'm gonna stop right there. Nobody should ever witness that. We find out that the match they will compete in is No Holds Barred. This can be kinda similar to their first match, but at least the rules are a little more flexible this time around. Hard to say if this match will end up better than their first encounter. Part of the reason I haven't been excited for this match is because of how the first match went. Brock and Trips aren't bad in-ring performers, but their chemistry for that SummerSlam match was completely off. While the two told a good story in their promos/segments, they just couldn't tell a story at that match. If they can greatly improve on this, I'm sure their WM match will be much better than their SS match. I just hope that's the case. The other stipulation for the match is Trips' career is over if he loses the match. While the stipulation can add something to the match, it takes away from it as well. It almost makes it apparent that Trips is gonna win this match. At the same time, who's to say Trips hasn't thought about retirement? I doubt that, but you never know. Personally, I could've done without the stipulation, but it does add something to the match.
This week's episode was meh. While a lot of foreshadowing happened, this wasn't one of the most intriguing shows to watch. While a lot of matches really didn't stick out or make an impression, there are a couple of fair matches to watch. There was a lot of WM announcements for this show. While the WM card is looking a little better, it really isn't pulling me in as much as it should. It probably has something to do with all the rematches that are taking place. Not only rematches, but rematches aren't fully pulling me in. I'm sure casual fans will get a kick out of the card. After all, that's where all the money is coming from. Well, I'm gonna wrap this up since I'm late with this review….Dammit! Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one.