What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Hell in a Cell 2012. Was the PPV worth checking out? Let's find out and start the review.
Match #1: Alberto Del Rio vs Randy Orton
We open up the show with a match. I would talk about the pre-show, but there wasn't a lot to talk about. John Cena came out and instead of talking about the AJ storyline, he mostly builds up the CM Punk/Ryback match. Is Cena's new job being Ryback's mouthpiece? Managers? What are those? Cena read tweets and Touts. I've talked about this before, but I don't like Touts. I'm fine if they use it for storyline progression amongst the wrestlers/superstars, but I feel the Touts from the WWE Universe shouldn't be featured on the show. I feel it takes away from the storyline, which is why I don't find myself paying attention when Touts make the air.
This was a match that I wasn't looking forward to in terms of development and storyline, but I figured Randy and Del Rio can at least put on a good match due to skill. For the most part, I thought they accomplished this. I think Del Rio had a moment of wanting to fly. VEGETA…..I can fl-oh s***!!! Seriously, what was that? Miscommunication for the win. Randy wins with the RKO. Despite Del Rio not taking some diving lessons, it was a fair match to get you invested in the PPV. It wasn't amazing, but it does its job. The booking isn't out of the question, so this really shouldn't be much of a surprise. Either Randy gets back in the world title hunt or decides to film more movie sequels that featured John Cena. The Marine 45 1/2 is currently in production.
Winner via pinfall: Randy Orton
Apparently, Vickie Guerrero has photographic evidence of Cena/AJ affair. So, when does Claire Lynch start making WWE appearances? In the meantime, Paul Heyman pleads his case that Punk isn't afraid of anything. Punk isn't afraid of Dracula, Frankenstein, or the Boogeyman? Are we describing CM Punk or Simon Belmont? The morning sun vanquishes the copyright infringement.
Match #2: Team Hell No vs Rhodes Scholars; WWE Tag Titles
This match wasn't too bad, but I can see some people being upset with the booking. The finish comes when Kane and Bryan started to argue with one another. Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes attack Kane during their argument of who was paying for dinner tonight. Kane beats the hell out of his opponents and refuses to listen to the ref's count. Rhodes Scholars win via DQ. Like I said, people will be upset since it's padding, but I thought this was a better idea. Hell No and Rhodes Scholars have told a good story and work well with one another, so I'm fine with prolonging the rematch until the next PPV. I definitely wouldn't mind watching a rematch between these teams. By the way, I love how the commentators poke fun of Dr. Shelby. Almost as if the creative staff is laughing at one of their ridiculous creations…..I miss Harold.
Winners via red rage: Rhodes Scholars (Hell No still WWE Tag Champs)
Match #3: Kofi Kingston vs Miz; IC Championship
So, Miz seems to think that Kofi's title victory is the sign of bad things. No, that would be PETA. I really don't have much to say about the match. It was good, but I think the match on Main Event was better. Regardless, I think the title change should've waited until tonight. I think it would've added a little more intrigue to the match for tonight, but that wasn't the case. Kofi won with the Trouble in Paradise. I know I should be somewhat positive that Kofi's victory will mean more exposure to the IC/mid-card division. It's possible, but WWE has written the same song and dance numerous times. Remember when winning mid-card championships were a big deal?
Winner via pinfall and still IC Champ: Kofi Kingston
Old McDonald had a farm. E-I-E-I-NOOOOO!!! Bryan is considered the weak link of his team, but he will always have this…IIII AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS……I am the tag team champions….
Match #4: Antonio Cesaro vs Justin Gabriel; US Championship
This match was okay, but nothing great. WWE didn't make Justin look like a pushover, so it shows that Gabriel might get used at a later point in the WWE. I love how JBL brags about how Antonio is undefeated against Americans after this match. Apparently, Gabriel got his honorary US citizenship from the land of make believe. Hey, we can always pretend he's American. I don't know why, but I have mixed feelings on Antonio. He's got the size, charisma, looks, and skill to go far, but part of me is bored with his character. I feel Antonio has so much more to offer, but only if WWE allows him to reach that potential. I hope they can continue to work on this since I think Antonio has something to offer, but not if they are only gonna make him the cliche, foreign heel. Yeah, I know pro wrestling loves that gimmick, but at least put a different spin on it to make it fun and interesting. That's what I would like see be done with Antonio.
Winner via pinfall and still US Champ: Antonio Cesaro
Pauly tries once again to get Punk out of the match, but Vickie tells Pauly that he and Punk can go to you know what. Ummm….The convenience store? Gotta load up on those slim jims, I suppose. Yeah, I know she was referring to hell. Had to get that out of the way or else the smarks would've complained about it. Then again, they'll find something else to complain about. That train is never late, I guarantee.
Match #5: Prime Time Players vs Manic Masks
As Jim Ross is talking about Sin Cara's unique mask. BUY IT BUY IT BUY IT!!! Once again, we get another decent match, but is anyone else feeling this is something you should be watching on Raw? Don't you expect more from PPV? While the matches have been fair, this doesn't feel like a PPV. Reckon, the only match worth the asking price is Punk/Ryback, but I think they could've done more to get the crowd into the show. Hooray for Sunday Night Raw. The finish comes when Rey drops the dime for the clean victory. It appears that Sin Cara may have been banged up around his head/neck area after the match. Another possible injury for the man? I really got to think the white mask is Sin Cara's curse. He celebrates after the match, so maybe he was slightly banged up. Seriously, Sin Cara Blanca would mean total destruction if things continue like this.
Winner via pinfall: Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara
Match #6: Sheamus vs Big Show; WHC
I love the "Let's go, Ziggler" chants during the match. It was about time the audience get on their feet to show some emotion. You know, I've seen this match somewhere, but I cannot seem to recall where I've seen it…
Yeah, so you know how this is gonna work. Show does everything in his power to stop Sheamus, but Sheamus' inner-fruity pebble is unstoppable. Sheamus uses his strength to hit the White Noise on Show. It's very impressive, but this is SO Cena's booking. Sheamus just kicked out of the KO punch?
Yeah, he IS Cena. Oh noooo!!! Wait, Show just kicked out of the Brogue Kick and won with the KO punch….
I'm kinda shocked by this. Finally, a moment where Sheamus looks human and lost clean. WWE needs to do this more with the super faces. I know it's classic booking to have the major face get cheated, but this type of booking adds a lot more to the show. It adds intrigue and excitement. This is some of Sheamus' best work, and I know that's strange coming in a losing effort. I felt both guys told a good story and I FINALLY got interested in this rivalry. Now, THAT'S how you add intrigue to the show. Bravo, WWE. The match was very well done and was the best match of the night. I think this lose will set up a scenario where Sheamus trains his ass off to defeat Show in the rematch. Geeze, and I thought this storyline was already ripping off Rocky. When do I see Sheamus' son get in a fight? Be a star, I suppose.
Winner via pinfall and NEW WHC: Big Show
Eve's a bitch, Zack Ryder's a dork, Santino's sexually confused, and Ron Simmons arrives. DAMN…..where's my ten grand? Best paycheck ever!!!
Match #7: Eve vs Kaitlyn vs Layla; Divas Championship
I swear that PPV is the only time where you can watch a diva match last longer than two minutes. The match was okay, but I don't have a whole lot to say on the subject. Kaitlyn is about to pin Layla, but Eve ends up stealing the match. From a booking standpoint, this was the best way to go. Layla has gone as far as she can for the time being, while Eve/Kaitlyn is the true rivalry. I seriously LOL'D when JBL thought his commentary for this match was as bad as Matt Striker. 1000 points is awarded to JBL.
Winner via pinfall and still Divas Champ: Eve
Match #8: CM Punk vs Ryback; Hell in a Cell match for the WWE Championship
I understand they want to make Ryback look like a dominate figure, but Punk has been champion for over 300+ days. You can make him a look a little more credible as opposed to being Ryback's bitch. Punk would get back to the match, but only thanks to his cunning. The match was okay at best, but it told a story. I think the story was enough of a reason to keep you intrigued. As Ryback is going for Shell Shock, the referee sneaks a low blow on Ryback and makes the fastest three count ever. It turns out the ref who screwed Punk over on Raw a few weeks back was the same ref who helped him. You had to figure there was more than two Paul Heyman guys on this show. After the match, Ryback kills the ref. Since Punk has flashbacks of getting trolled by the live audience, so decides to run up the caged structure to escape Ryback. Unfortunately, Ryback wants more food (Or it's raping time) and pursues Punk. The show ends with Ryback hitting Shell Shock on Punk at the top of the structure. I have mixed views on this whole thing. While the referee screw-job is nothing new, I like that they didn't involve anybody else in this match that was a wrestler. I know people were automatically thinking Cena or Brock would get involved, but I like this option better since it keeps some things a mystery. Cena is still dealing with the AJ storyline, so maybe the plan is for Ryback to get another world title match or be a future captain for a possible Survivor Series match? Well, I don't know about that, but it also doesn't automatically make it Punk/Cena at Survivor Series, which is what a lot of people were expecting. Now, there are some negatives after this. While it wasn't exactly the ending people thought was gonna happen, the principal was still the same. Ryback still got screwed over and Punk still remains the champion. So, nothing was out of the ordinary. While I had a feeling this would happen, it still would've been nice to get an idea that thinks outside the box. Then again, are you really surprised? Overall, I'm neither impressed or disappointed by the WWE title booking. I'm neutral on the matter….
Winner via pinfall and still WWE Champion: CM Punk
Oh, this isn't gonna be pretty. I wasn't really sure what to expect with this one since the PPV build started good, but was very rusty going into the final two weeks of October. Now, I'll admit that a good chunk of the matches were good. In fact, I can see a good majority of people being very pleased with what they got in the first five matches. While some matches were good, a good chunk of these matches didn't really give that PPV vibe. In fact, I felt these matches were stuff you should be getting on Raw or SD. You can argue that you haven't even gotten THAT on Raw and SD lately, but I felt the first half of this PPV was nothing more than an episode of Raw. So, think of it like this. You get a below average show on Monday nights, while you get an actual episode of Raw at the PPV? Did I confuse you yet? Good, cuz I'm confused as well. Anyway, something's very wrong when you get free television on PPV. I hope they can fix this issue since I want to be entertained on BOTH free tv and PPV, but it's fair to expect more out of PPV since you shell out more money for the event. Punk/Ryback tried something slightly different, so I got what I was pretty much expecting with that much. If anything, I felt the only match that was worthy of being a PPV caliber was Sheamus/Show. Seriously, this match was very well done and it was at this point of the show where I started to get back into it. I was hoping that momentum would continue with the final hour of the show. It was kinda there when the screw-job happened, but it was also starting to fizzle out. If I had to give WWE Hell in a Cell 2012 a rating on a scale of 1-10 and 5 considered average, I have to give this PPV a 5 out of 10. Yeah, I thought this was an average PPV at the end of the day. Many will disagree with the score, but there's no harm if you liked the show more than myself. At the end of the day, this is just my opinion and I respect if you got more enjoyment out of the showing than me. I was just disappointed with this showing. There's some decent matches, but you expect something bigger and grand with you feature PPV. Plus, I think it only got this high of a score in my book because of how much I loved that Sheamus/Show match. Seriously, that's how you tell a store and engage an audience. Punk/Ryback is STILL an interesting concept, but it would've helped if there was a much bigger shock/surprise than a ref screw-job. Well, I better wrap this up before I continue to piss off people. I ranked TNA Bound for Glory better than this PPV. Oh, now I'm just asking for trouble. I guess it really is a horrible night to have a curse. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my article or tonight's show. If you enjoyed any of this nonsense, check out some of my other work by clicking on those pretty links. Come on, you know it's tempting. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. See you next time.
WrestlingNerd's Official Score for WWE Hell in a Cell 2012: 5 out of 10