What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 10/25/12. Generic intro of some sorts….Let's begin.
Match #1: RVD vs Zema Ion; X Division Title
We open the show with an X Division title match. This match was boring, enough said. RVD wins with the Frog Splash. After the match, Matt Morgan and Joey Ryan attack RVD because we gotta fill our X Division quota for the month. Morgan says he will unleash hell on the Impact roster….And purchase auto insurance. He's a madman!!! As far as Joey going after the X title is concerned, I kinda like this idea. I'm sorry, but RVD as X Champion doesn't interest me. Then again, that might have something to do with the X Division being irrelevant. For the time being, let's go ahead and get sleazy.
Winner via pinfall and still X Division Champ: RVD
Christopher Daniels and Kaz come out to talk about immigration and wanting their rematch. Since Hogan used their rematch clause as toilet paper, Kaz and Daniels are wanting people to sign their petition for the tag title rematch. Team Texas arrives and are more than willing to defend their titles against Appletini. This scene breaks out in a fight and I got nothing. Like the X Division title, I don't care about the tag division. It's gonna take some work to get some interest for these titles, but I think they've been on to something in the last month. Still, it needs work.
Time for Hogan's moment of non-thinking for the night as he determines who will get the world title match. He eliminates Mr. Anderson because….Well, do you really need an explanation? After words, Austin Aries and Anderson poke each other's buttons and start to fight. Aries vs Anderson will happen later tonight. Also, Bully was taken out of consideration for the world title match because he's more distracted by Devon. Ugggggggh…..I'll save my thoughts on this for later in the review.
Match #2: Samoa Joe vs Robbie T; TV Title
As Card Games is playing Wheel of Fortune with a dart board….
I'm just kidding. Devon and crew are very pleased with the next victim. You know, if you want people to take this championship seriously, how about putting Joe against people that are relevant and not going to the local clown college? Joe wins via submission and not one f*** was given.
Winner via submission and still TV Champ: Samoa Joe
Match #3: Austin Aries vs Mr. Anderson
I think Anderson had an orgasm before this match went on the air. I guess A Double really hits his sweet spot. I think I heard somebody yell "cut" while the two were fighting in the back. For some reason, I find that hilarious. Aries introduces brass knucks into the match by planting them on Anderson's tights. So, he just shoved something hard down his pants? Oh, I couldn't have been the only one thinking that. The ref takes the weapon and doesn't discard it because we need a plot device for later in the match. In fact, here's that plot device now. While the ref gets knocked down, Aries is about to use the weapon, but Anderson intercepts it. Anderson is about to use it, but the ref steals it again. While the ref is turned away, Aries takes out Anderson with another pair of brass knucks. Aries was packing something extra in his pants. What was strange is Aries using Anderson's KO'd body to fake a pinfall attempt on Aries. I just found this pointless since Aries would kick out of it and lock in the Last Chancery for the victory. I get what Aries was trying to do here, but it just felt strange and awkward. I guess Aries is officially a full-time heel. It was headed there, but this was pretty much the nail in the coffin. This was a fair match.
Winner via submission: Austin Aries
Match #4: Tara vs Tessmacher; KO title
Tazz and Tenay took over on commentary. While Borash and the other guy (I could look up his name, but I don't care) weren't amazing, they were definitely more tolerable than Tenay and Tazz. Thanks to all the shenanigans caused by Jesse Douche (That's officially his name on this page), Tara hit the Widow's Peak for the victory. After the match, Brooke Hogan informs us that Open Fight Night still exists….
Well, it turns out ODB will challenge Jesse to a match. I guess ODB wants to continue to remain a side-show attraction.
Winner via pinfall and still KO Champ: Tara
Joseph Parks gives Hogan an ultimatum. Either give Joseph Aces and Eights in a fight, or get sued for everything Hogan, TNA, Dixie Carter, and Spike TV have. Hmmm, either give him a match, or risk bankruptcy? Yeah, that's such a tough decision, Hulk. Speaking of which, does anybody remember that Abyss character? It seems like a myth these days.
Bully Ray talks about Devon and how his brother betrayed him. I'm sorry, but did everyone forget that Bully was the one who attacked Devon? You know, thus starting all this crap from two years ago? Well, Devon arrives with Aces and Eights. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you the Plot Hole Drinking Game. Take a shot every time this scene breaks a plot hole. If you do, you just might think you have fifty arms, think you just slept with a teletubby on the moon, while singing the national anthem with a toaster on your head. Do you really expect me to believe that Devon told the fans to buzz off because they're rich, while Bully has been saying for years he likes pissing off the fans? Well, why was Devon always the face during that stretch? Wrestling logic can be hilariously bad sometimes. So, it seems Bully will call out Devon for next week's OFN. Should I really continue? Part of me feels I should just call it an evening after all of that. Aces and Eights was already getting pretty stupid, but I think they just said f*** it and just let the silliness begin. Gut Check guy gets introduced. Hey, I was looking for a power nap. Thanks, TNA.
Match #5: Jeff Hardy vs Kurt Angle; TNA World Title
Hogan picked Kurt because….Bubba the Love Sponge told him? Yeah, the explanation isn't important. Don't worry, James Storm. Hogan has something big for you in his office….RUN!!! Run away!!! This was a good title defense. After a ton of near falls and close calls, the finish comes when--THIS IS AWESOME!!! Yeah, I was wondering when that would show up. Anyway, Hardy wins with a rollup. Why in the world is Hardy holding two belts? Is Megatron lonely? Did he want some company? Regardless, Aries attacks Hardy and announces their rematch will happen at Turning Point. He takes the real world title since nobody would be caught dead with the Megatron title. Oh, and Kurt was attacked by Aces and Eights…..Just thought I would let you know. Wes Brisco---WARNING WARNING!!! Breach of company!!! Ehem….Sorry about that. He's screaming for a doctor. But he is a doctor…..A doctor of pain!!! I wish they would reveal a couple more members in Aces and Eights. Devon isn't bad, but he isn't holding my interest either. To be fair, it isn't his fault. Devon's doing his best, but he's no Bully.
Winner via pinfall and still TNA World Champ: Jeff Hardy
While I found Impact more enjoyable than Raw this week (S*** Storm is ten degrees to my left), I really wouldn't call this a great showing from TNA. Let's be honest here, there was a lot of stupid/silly moments tonight. You have plot holes up the ass with this Bully/Devon deal, uninteresting storyline development with some of the lower card feuds, Joseph Parks pitching himself for ideas nobody cares about, and more Aces and Eights stuff that's losing more and more interest. Now, I'll continue to be fair and stat Impact did feature some good matches…..Well, two of them to be exact. The World title and the Aries/Anderson matches were at least fun to watch and are matches I would recommend checking out, so I felt they did good in that department. Then again, it's common for TNA to have at least one match on Impact that's worth witnessing. Still, like I said with Raw this past week, I'm looking for a little more than 1-2 matches sticking out. Actions important, but it's the storyline progression that's very important. I felt TNA dropped the ball in this department. I like the idea of Joey/RVD, but Aces and Eights looks goofy and I don't care for the KO storyline. I'm also not big on the tag division and watching Bully be a good guy is just strange. He's doing a decent job, but it's just weird. So, not the worst I've seen out of Impact. In fact, it was a drastic improvement from last week's episode, but not what I would call a groundbreaking episode. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of the article or the show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. See you next time.