Saturday, May 12, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Smackdown Review 5/11/12 (Squashin' the Squash)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Smackdown 5/11/12. What craziness will happen this week? Let's find out and start the review. 

Match #1: Randy Orton and Sheamus vs Alberto Del Rio and Chris Jericho
We open up with….The same match that was on Raw this past week? Did I accidentally tune into Raw? Oh well, it isn't important. This was the same match from Raw, except shorter and nowhere near as fun. That of itself is pretty disappointing. Then again, I understand why this happened. The match breaks down and the referee has to call for the bell. According to Michael Cole, Eve wrote a tweet. It will be Randy vs Del Rio and Sheamus vs Jericho, later tonight. This was done off-screen….and it was a tweet? It's the anonymous Raw GM deal all over again. Wait, it's a computer? That damn John Laurinaitis. I'm telling you. Robots are taking over the world, and Roboinaitis is running the show. Why isn't anyone in panic mode?

 No Contest

Match #2: AJ vs Kaitlyn 
AJ continues to be insane, while Kaitlyn can't seem to do anything against a 95 pound girl. AJ tackles her and does a lot of swatting and head bashing….

AJ wins the match with a Captain Falcon running knee. Captain Falcon would be pleased. Captain Falcon is gonna…..Okay, I'm not gonna keep doing that. You're awesome if you get the reference. After the match, Daniel Bryan comes out and is impressed with AJ. Bryan says AJ is ruthless and he's ready to move past the events of WrestleMania. Oh, what a nice guy. He realizes how much of a dick he was, so he wants to give her a second……he's gonna burst her bubble, isn't he? Daniel says he will move on… Kaitlyn. DA DU DAAALALALALALALA. AJ is shaking with anger. You think she's gonna stand up for herself, but she does nothing. AJ walks away upset while Bryan is having another orgasm. I still think that AJ is going to start tapping to her evil side because she wants to be with Bryan and can't seem to move on. Poor girl. Bryan is on a quest to hook up with every WWE Diva. He's on fire!!!

Winner via pinfall: AJ

Match #3: Daniel Bryan vs Big Show
Bryan manages to get Show down to his knees and applies the Yes Lock. YES! YES! YES! Within seconds of the hold being applied, Laurinaitis arrives and rings the bell. He declares Bryan the winner via submission. That robot has too much power. Can't anybody stop him? After the match, Johnny confronts Show. Johnny is pissed off about Show's comments on Raw this past week. He calls Show a freak and he demands a good apology on Raw. He also has enough time to plug his match at Over the Limit. Despite John Cena going up against a robot, this doesn't phase him. You can put Cena out in a firing squad and he would still find a way to win. 

Winner via robots: Daniel Bryan

Match #4: Ryback vs Heath Slater
Ryback went from killing NXT talent to killing SD jobbers. My prediction is for Ryback to kill a Raw jobber. Oh, Ryback wins with the Muscle Buster. Ryback is starting to scare me. I guess this is the idea. 

Winner via pinfall: Ryback

Match #5: Antonio Cesaro vs Alex Riley
Teddy Long is forced to do the introductions for this match. How many nicknames did they give Antonio? Anyway, Antonio was pretty impressive. It was a short match (Noticing a pattern here?), but Antonio showed off a lot of unique abilities. The finisher was something I've never seen before…..Unless you have seen Claudio compete in the Indies. It's called the Gotch Style Neutralizer. What is that? What even is that? I'm calling it the GSN…..Until WWE gives it some ridiculous pun. Wouldn't be surprised if they call it the Swiss Plunge or something along those lines. After the match, Aksana says that Teddy was just her friend, but Antonio is her lover. They proceed to make out in front of a crushed Teddy. Antonio has the best job ever. He gets to win matches in awesome fashion and make out with an attractive woman. Life is pretty cool sometimes. As for Teddy, his life is one big disappointment after another. It really starts to make you feel bad for him. 

Winner via pinfall: Antonio Cesaro

Match #6: Randy Orton vs Alberto Del Rio
Randy is making it interesting, but Del Rio makes me want to take a power nap. Luckily, we got Ricardo Rodriguez to make things fun. I love this crossbody he does. Just something about it is funny. He looks like a five-year old on the ultimate sugar high and thinking he's an airplane. WHEEEEEEE…..Oh s***!!! What was he gonna accomplish with this crossbody? Randy was standing up when he attempted this. As you would guess, Randy hit the RKO on Ricardo. He's a moron, but hilarious. Because of Ricardo's interference, the ref calls for the bell. After the match, Del Rio continues to target Randy's injured arm with the Cross Armbreaker. Man, even the Cross Armbreaker is boring. Is there a magic wand that we can use on Del Rio to make him interesting? Where the hell's Harry Potter when you need him? 

Winner via DQ: Randy Orton

Match #7: R-Truth vs Jack Swagger
It was announced that Kofi Kingston and Truth would be defending their tag titles. They will go up against Dolph Ziggler and Biff Tannen at OtL. It seems kinda odd that they moved away from Primo and Epico, but they are slowly building something up with the AW thing. Not only were they watching this match backstage, but Mason Ryan was with them as well. I smell a stable in the works. It could be fun…..If planned well. I found something strange with this match. When Truth hit the Lie Detector and went for the cover. Dolph broke up the count by getting in the ring. How did the ref not see this? It's one thing if a hand reaches out to interfere, but this was a whole human being. Oh wrestling logic. How you always make an appearance. There was a lot of shenanigans on the outside. Kofi ended up hitting Trouble in Paradise on Swagger. Truth follows up with Little Jimmy and Truth gets the victory. If you're still lost, the good guys pulled the same stunt the bad guys did on Raw. Yeah, who says the good guy has to be fair? 

Winner via pinfall: R-Truth

Match #8: Santino and Zack Ryder vs Darren Young and Titus O'Neil
Oh, I'm sure the internet is going to complain about this match. Why, you may ask? Because their internet darling lost to a green tag team. I kinda liked this match. I know people have been harsh on Titus and Darren (myself included), but I think they are starting to find their place. The finish comes when Titus and Darren hit a combo finisher. Booker T called it the Ghetto Blaster. It has a good ring to it. Titus and Darren are starting to find out what works for them. Look at their attitude? I thought it was great. Titus and Darren are pretty green, so why not do something to make yourself stand out? Unfortunately, I can see someone playing the race card in this situation. Personally, I didn't think it was that bad and I kinda liked it, but don't be surprised if someone plays that card. After the match, Titus and Darren tell Lillian Garcia to announce the winners again. They weren't impressed, so they do it themselves. They say "Millions of dollars" while dancing. I thought this was pretty funny. Probably the best thing Darren has ever done in his entire career. As for Titus, can you really beat this….

Winner via pinfall: Titus O'Neil and Darren Young

Match #9: Brodus Clay vs Hunico
Damien Sandow……he's intellectual, let's move on. Yeah, I want to get this review over with. Damn, there's a lot of matches tonight. You would think that would be a good thing, but most of these matches lasted about 3-5 minutes. Yeah, it was one of THOSE episodes. Brodus wins with the Funk It and he dances for the 45356 time. What more can I say? 

Winner via something: Brodus Clay

Match #10: Chris Jericho vs Sheamus
The match is alaolaolaolaolaoalaoapapapapapapapapaaoaaoaoa. The finish comes when Del Rio arrives and takes out Jericho and THEN attacks Sheamus. Because of the first attack, Jericho wins via DQ. After the match, Del Rio locks the Cross Armbreaker on Sheamus. Randy arrives to get in the mix. Sheamus and Randy start to argue. Jericho comes in and hits the Codebreaker on Del Rio. I love how Jericho immediately leaves the ring after the attack. Sheamus and Randy hit their finishers on Del Rio, which ends the show. I just want this review to be over with. MOVING ON!!!

Winner via DQ: Chris Jericho

Overall Impression:
Honestly, I wasn't big on SD this week. There was a lot matches, but most of the ended up being squash matches or had shenanigans involved. Now, I understand they had those shenanigans because they didn't want to Fatal 4Way contenders to look weak, but it was a little overboard with the rest of the show. There also wasn't a lot done in progressing the storylines. Other than AJ, a brief oversight with Titus and Darren, and Antonio, everything else just seemed to be filler. There was a lot of filler tonight. Now, filler can be fun. I was laughing for a couple of moments, but it honestly felt like a chore trying to watch this. And I'm trying to review it. I honestly didn't want to write this, but I'm sure people would've been upset if I didn't address this episode since next week is OtL. The PPV is already next week? Do you ever feel there is too many PPVs in the wrestling world? I think so, but I've done enough writing for today. I personally don't recommend SD this week….Unless you're a hardcore fan. I feel like I have to do something really insane after this. Something extreme……I GOT IT….

That's gonna do it for the enjoy and I hope you reviewed….the show? As always, tell me what you thought of my show or review tonight. I will see you girls and guys on the see you next time. WrestlingNerd show? I must've hit my head harder than I thought. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!!!


  1. why do you hate del rio so much?

    1. When did I say I hate Del Rio? All I'm doing is making stupid jokes and poking fun of his blandness. The guy is a great wrestler, but I just find him boring. I never claimed to hate the guy.

    2. fair enough it just seemed like you hated him in the review. His mic skills are improving to be fair, and he has a great sidekick in ricardo rodriguez.

  2. Madarchod bahanchod bhosari ke.......chutiya sab sale review likhta hai be behuda aadmi sab