Friday, May 25, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling Review 5/24/12 (Open Fight Night=Old Man River Returns)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 5/24/12. How did the second edition of Open Fight Night fair? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with a very intense, heart-racing, and eye-popping……negotiation. Hulk Hogan is talking to all the challengers of the world title match. It worked like the first OFN. Basically, they would make their arguments in wanting to get the championship match, but they would also trade insults with some of the other competitors. Kurt Angle makes the case that being the longest reigning world champion isn't important, while AJ Styles says it's important. Kurt also says he has won the most championships between any of them, but AJ says only the TNA ones count. Judges, what do you think…

Nice try, AJ. In my opinion, Bully Ray was the one who stood out the most in this segment. It's amazing how much he has improved in the last year and a half. Jeff Hardy doesn't say very much. I guess he was more concerned with his face-paint. At the end of the segment, Hogan ended up eliminating Bully because Bully hasn't won a singles championship. Is that really Hogan's analysis? If Bully hasn't won a singles championship, wouldn't it be even better to consider him since he has the most to prove? Talk about a very biased opinion. I know that Bully isn't going to get chosen because he's a heel, but I can at least playing along with the kayfabe. TNA can use this scene for the basis of Bully getting the singles championship down the road. The question is, will they actually do that or was this only written up for tonight? Well, only time will tell. By the way, what's up with the music here? Sounds like something you would hear in an action-movie trailer. Makes me a little disappointed that there wasn't at least one explosion or car chase. 

Match #1: Gail Kim and Madison Rayne vs ODB and Eric Young
Gail issues the open challenge to ODB and EY, while Madison is completely love-struck. Yeah, we all have a hard time getting over Devon. According to Gail, she wanted to fight the odd couple because they hold the KO tag titles…

Who cares if they hold the belts. The damn things shouldn't even exist. What's wrong with Gail's promo? She emphasized the strangest words. You know, because this MAAAAAAAN and so-called WOMAAAAAAAN are here. This is really ANNOOOOOOOYYYYYYING. I know, bad joke. The finish comes when Gail pins ODB. Madison was holding ODB's legs on the outside of the ring. This is a prime example of WRESTLING LOGIC. ODB's legs are under the rope, so the pinfall shouldn't even count. Then again, I don't give a s***. 

Winner via wrestling logic: Gail Kim and Madison Rayne

Match #2: RVD vs Gunner
RVD issues a challenge to Gunner because of what happened in January. Oh yeah, that unfinished storyline. I'm actually stunned that TNA remembered that moment. This match was pretty basic and it ends when RVD hits the Frog Splash. That would be another lose for Mr. Garbage-Man Gunner. I hear they are hiring at the local dump. Gunner should consider it. 

Winner via pinfall: RVD

Match #3: Devon vs Garett Bischoff; TV Championship
Can I please use Chaos Control for this? All right….FINE!!! Devon wants to be a fighting champion and defend his title every week. Kinda ironic since he didn't defend his title on last week's Impact. To be fair, he did defend it at the Sacrifice PPV. Anyway, Devon issues the challenge to Garett because he showed him something last week. How does Garett keep getting these programs/storylines? I guess TNA doesn't want to realize when a project has totally failed. Then again, this can sum it up….

The match lasted about two minutes until the two Robbies attacked. Tazz is pretty delusional when saying that Devon/Garett was a great wrestling match. I know he has to say that, but come on? I really didn't like this segment. Not only does Garett get screen time, but why is this Robbie E/Devon crap still going on? That pretty much tells me that TNA doesn't know what else to do with the TV Title, so they keep running the same program for 3 PPVs. No….no……..NO!!! Did I mention no?

Winner via uncreative staff: Devon

Bully Ray comes out and he's pissed off. Oh, and Hogan eliminated Hardy from the challenge because he has been shaky as of late. Did you care? Neither did I. I do want to bring up that Bully's interaction with the woman in the audience was gold. She was probably the most convincing actress I've seen on this show since……..moving on. Bully ask the question, "Do you know who I am". What do you think, Daniel Bryan? 

Hey, I had to do it. You'll see why as this scene continues. Bully is searching for Joseph Parks, who is sitting in the audience. Bully wants Joseph in the ring. We go from one defining Impact Zone fan to the Impact Zone making themselves look like idiots. They're doing a "Yes" chant for Joseph Parks. Joseph f***ing Parks is getting a "Yes" chant. Not one, but two "Yes" chants? The Impact Zone quickly reminds me what they can offer on a weekly basis. If you chant "Yes", then I have another one-word chant for this. Lame……Lame…..LAME…..LAME…..LAME!!! It would be ironic if that actually turned into a chant…….No, it would be mostly stupid. Anyway, Joseph is in the ring and talks about how Bully is guilty. He gets the Impact Zone to pass down judgment. Yeah, because you definitely want THESE people to determine your fate. I love Bully's reaction towards this whole lawyer talk…….What the f***? Bully eventually attacks him with the Vampire, I mean the chain. Now, despite how negative I am towards the Impact Zone, I actually enjoyed this segment. I liked Joseph's reaction for when he got called out and Bully cuts another great promo. As I mentioned last week, I would like to see a plot twist where Abyss AND Joseph show up at the same time. Abyss has a twin brother? It all makes sense!!!

Match #4: Austin Aries vs Joey Ryan; Gut Check Challenge
Kinda hard for me to think the Gut Check is gonna work since Alex Silva hasn't shown up since getting the contract. Then again, I'm jumping the gun with that statement. Well, they brought in somebody who was a little more charismatic this time around. The guy was very over-the-top. He has this '80s look about him. Then again, there's something interesting about his look. It's Ron Burgundy. It's the anchorman from San Diego. Seriously, look at him? He has the hair, the mustache and really looks like what Ron Burgundy would look like if he became a pro wrestler. This Gut Check match was a lot better than the first edition. Joey played his character during in the match and his ability wasn't too bad. Nothing amazing about his ring ability, but he's still young. The guy had a porn-star vibe to him. Then again, that probably because of the mustache. The finish comes when A Double hits the Brainbuster for the clean victory. We will find out next week if Joey will get a job or not. I know there's going to be some people who want me to talk about a particular dirt sheet popping up about the Gut Check. Primarily one of the judges that takes part in this concept. Because I don't like to base so much facts on the dirt sheets, I'm going to wait a week and see how TNA handles it. It will also give a sense if the rumors are true or just more crap to get the IWC riled up. Sorry, but most of you know how I feel about dirt sheet reporting. 

Winner via pinfall: Austin Aries

Match #5: Robert Roode vs AJ Styles; TNA World Championship
At the end of the day, Hogan picked AJ because he knows Bobby. I guess Hogan didn't pay attention about six months ago. That's the reason Hogan gave, but I would like to think Dixie Carter gave Hogan a call and helped her boy out. Win or lose, AJ is gonna show Dixie why he's "phenomenal". This match was given a lot of time. We still had about 40 minutes left in the program (Counting commercial breaks), so I'm a little shocked. Despite the fact this was given a lot of time, I can't help but wonder how much of the match was lost during the editing process. In fact, I think the same thing with Smackdown. That's the advantage of going to a live show, you don't have to worry about that stuff. By the way, I caught that Tazz…..That's vintage AJ Styles. Vintage copycat. Vintage announcer. Vintage…..vintage? Okay, I'm done. AJ kept turning his back during this match. What kind of fetishes are you doing with Dixie? Anyway, he misses the 450 Splash, which allows Bobby to hit a Fisherman Suplex for the victory. Again, they gave Roode the clean victory. I like the fact that Roode has picked up some impressive clean victories. I know that pro wrestling usually resorts to heels being cowards and try to cheat, but getting a clean victory isn't going to completely destroy the babyface. Somebody should send this to John Cena.

Winner via pinfall and still TNA World Champion: Robert Roode

After the match, Bobby drinks champagne and confetti rains down. Oh, would this be that Canadian confetti Bobby was talking about? Yeah, I didn't know that confetti-making was such a serious thing. Bobby is rolling around in the confetti. I'm convinced that Canadian confetti is made of drugs. I see what you were trying to do, Bobby. Hogan arrives and gives Roode credit for pulling it off, but he has a surprise for Bobby. Sting makes his return and attacks Bobby. Hogan says that next week will open up with Roode vs Sting in a Lumberjack match. Hogan keeps mentioning that TNA is starting at 8 PM (EST, 5 PM PST). I almost expected the new time slot to show up during Hogan's speech. In fact, I'll do it for you…

I'm not really looking forward to Bobby/Sting. Mainly because of how the last match turned out. Sting KO'd himself. What's the encore? Sting slipping on a banana peel? Is he going to run head-first into a brick wall? Some people have probably wondered what are my feelings on TNA moving to a new time slot. To be honest, it isn't that big of a difference. It could take a while to adjust, but I don't think it will be that big of a difference. Then again, I live in the West Coast, so I get the show early. I think this will have a bigger effect on the East Coast, but I really have no idea. Then again, most people are getting off work at 5 PM, so maybe it will have an effect? There will definitely be an adjustment period for some people, including myself. 

Overall Impression:
So, how did the second edition of OFN fair? Well, I will definitely say that it was a lot better than the first edition. The first OFN seemed very choppy and not planned out. This time around, I think they learned from their mistakes and were able to improve upon it. It does show, but it's far from perfect. The first hour of the show did seem to drag quite a bit. Sure, there was a moment or two that stood out in the first hour, but it can turn some people off. The second hour of Impact was definitely a lot better. The action flowed together a lot better and there was more interesting segments during this time. I would consider this an average episode of TNA. It wasn't great, but I would say it's far from terrible. In fact, I found this more enjoyable than Raw this past week. Oh, did I just say that out loud? You don't know me. I'm not crazy, you're crazy. LALALALALALALALA, I'm not listening, lalalalalalalala. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time……lalalalalalala. 


  1. I know this is the wrong company but I've got to say it, William Regal told a sheep shagging joke on NXT.

    Although on the downside you have to see the Great Khali and Ezekiel Jackson as a tag team to hear the joke but you get to hear about Regal's bearded sister which helps ease that pain of that a little.

    1. Only Regal can get away with I forgetting something?


      .....never mind.

  2. good stuff wrestling nerd