Tuesday, May 22, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw Review 5/21/12 (The John Cena Show)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 5/21/12. After the WWE went over the limit, how will they go back to the speed limit?

Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with John Cena. Did you watch the video package to open up the show? Did you see those shocked fans? I always love the reactions you get with the casual audience. See, THAT'S the power of not looking on those websites. Mr. Green Ranger arrives and he's pissed off. He's also upset that John Laurinaitis beat him. Well, Johnny is a robot. What did you think was gonna happen? If you think about it, Cena only has himself to blame. He could've ended the match early, but he kept stalling and didn't want to pull the damn trigger. Well, at least he brought that up in his promo, so he's self-aware. Why is Cena screaming so much? Did he get inspired by Shia LaBeouf? LOUD NOISES!!! Cena even begins to outrage over the fact that he would rather have the computer be the Raw GM as opposed to Johnny. Well, there's only one option for Cena to look into….

Eve and Johnny arrive. A People Power scooter? That's…..that's……that's awesome. I want one. I told every single one of you that Johnny was a robot. He's riding around on a scooter. What more proof do you need? Johnny talks about the injuries he received at OtL, but he proved to be a fierce competitor. Johnny also says if anyone touches him, they will be fired. So, I guess Johnny isn't breaking off a piece from Eve? He introduces Big Show. Johnny did state that he did rehire him on Saturday. There was a bit of controversy with this part since social media was finding a major plothole in the kayfabe. If Show had been rehired on Saturday, wouldn't he be fired since he interfered? They totally have a point. Michael Cole brought this up and said that Johnny and Show had a VERBAL agreement on Saturday, but the contract wasn't signed until late last night or early Monday. At least they tried to clean up the kayfabe…..or the WRESTLING LOGIC!!! To be fair, being "rehired" can mean orally or contractually. Hehe….orally. Luckily for Johnny, he didn't say he signed him to a new contract. WWE should give Cole some credit for covering the slip up. Despite the cover up, expect to see the internet trash the hell out of this. Anyway, Show cuts a typical heel promo. He says the WWE Universe didn't show any sympathy for him getting fired and he did the only thing he could do……buy a lawnmower. Oh, and he agreed to a new contract with a bonus. See, this is why he can buy a lawnmower. Cena and Show will face off at No Way Out, which is the next PPV. Great, Cena/Show for the 1 millionth time……good. I will say that I enjoyed Show's promo delivery. It wasn't too bad. David Otunga comes out and wants a match with Cena. Cena explains he's not in a good mood. Otunga doesn't care and dedicates this match to Johnny. Yeah, so a lot of things going on in the opening. Then again, it was expected after the events of Over the Limit. I'm fine with the opening. Cena had some pretty decent moments during his promo, but that screaming. I know he's upset, but part of his promo kinda comes off as overacting. Then again, I would rather have overacting than no acting. Can we have a giveaway for a free People Power Scooter? 

Match #1: John Cena vs David Otunga
Cena RAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGE!!! Cena pretty much kills Otunga. All those muscles and brains don't amount to s***. The finish comes when Cena locks in the STF and Otunga taps out. After the match Curt Hawkins, Tyler Reks, Darren Young, and Titus O'Neil arrive and attack Cena. Sheamus arrives to help out. Once Cena and Sheamus clear house, Johnny says he did NOT give permission to the young bloods to attack Cena. He sends them to the back. As for Cena and Sheamus, they will be competing in a 2-on-3 Lumberjack match. The three opponents wouldn't be mentioned until the actual match. So, two Cena matches on the same night? Well, this is gonna get a mixed result from the IWC. 

Winner via submission: John Cena

Ricardo Rodriguez is about to do the introduction of Alberto Del Rio, but Santino interrupts. He says nobody understands what he's saying and he doesn't know how to roll his 'R's…..They proceed to roll their 'R's. It was slightly amusing, but you can't beat out Togepi. Santino scares Ricardo with the Cobra…..Ricardo gets angry……Ricardo can't take off his jacket…..Cobra…..Santino does Del Rio introduction……and everyone cries. There really was no purpose for this scene. Other than a comedy bit, it wasn't necessary. When they had an R-off, that was funny, but everything else just seemed stupid. I would rather watch an Eric Young/ODB comedy segment than this……no, I take that back. Nobody should be subjected to that type of torture. I agree with Cole. That introduction by Santino was pretty bad, but I'm sure that was the idea. Oh, and WWE is going to start doing three-hour Raws on July 23. I have mixed views on this. They do need extra time out of the week to showcase up-and-coming talents, but are they going to do that or use it on more of their established talents? Well, only time well time. Great, that means my reviews are going to get longer…..*sigh*. 

Match #2: Randy Orton vs Alberto Del Rio
I kinda wonder if Del Rio/Santino is the next rivalry? Like with Christian, it would seem like a step backwards for Del Rio, but it really could help him gain an identity. Then again, it's probably nothing. The match was fair, but it was nothing amazing. The finish comes when Randy is setting up for the RKO, but Chris Jericho arrives and hits the Codebreaker on Randy. He keeps talking about how he's the best in the world at what he does. He hits two more Codebreakers. Damn, what has gotten over Jericho? This is what happens when you haven't won a PPV match since 2010. It's funny how Jericho had high expectations when he returned, but keeps dumbing down his goals. He went after WWE Title, but failed. He went after WHC, but failed. Now, he targets Randy….and he'll probably fail that one too. That sparkle jacket is a curse upon then universe. 

Winner via DQ: Randy Orton

Daniel Bryan arrives and…..He's going to confront CM Punk? A promo between Punk and Bryan? Well, it's about freakin' time. Anyway, Bryan is pissed off that he isn't the champion. He made Bryan tap out, but completely forgot about the fact he was pinned. Should Bryan be the champion? YES!!! According to Daniel Bryan. He demands to get a rematch for the WWE Title. CM Punk shows up and says while Bryan is right about the submission, he pinned Bryan. He reminds him of the Kane attack on Smackdown last week. Punk ends up putting Bryan in a match against Kane. Umm….How did Johnny approve of this? Then again, it's always funny how the superstars/wrestlers can magically create their own matches. WRESTLING LOGIC!!! Anyway, we have a match to get started with. 

Match #3: Daniel Bryan vs Kane
Punk was on commentary for this match. Now, I can see the argument in why Kane would face Bryan, but I'm sure Kane has seen the video footage at this point. Plus, it's Kane. He does whatever he wants and doesn't afraid of anything. The match doesn't last long.We are in the same set-up as on SD last week. Lucky, lucky. Punk grabs a chair and is about to use it on Bryan, but decides to go after Kane. Bryan intercepts it. Kane is back up and sees Bryan with the chair. Bryan tries to talk his way out of it, but kinda hard to get through Kane's ears with all that hair. Kane beats the crap out of Bryan with two Chokeslams and some chair shots. After the attack, Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice to Bryan. Bryan is tapping out to the submission hold. The scene ends with Punk saying YES. I know it seems kinda odd for Punk and Bryan to be using Kane as a tool for their rivalry, but at least they are starting to show some tension between one another. 

Winner via DQ: Daniel Bryan

Speaking of Punk, he had a backstage scene with AJ. She is glad that Punk beat Bryan at OtL. This is the tale of AJ having bi-polar. She gets a little ticked off when Punk said she's completely insane, but starts to cry when Punk says she creates all of her problems. Punk tries to calm her down. AJ is crazy I'm telling you…CRAZY!!! She might be crazy, but how can you be angry with her? She's adorable. Apparently, Punk is okay with that since he admits that he likes crazy chicks. Well, don't we all? Wait, what? 

Match #4: Christian vs Jinder Mahal
Jinder puts hat and talent in that case, and he's ready to get destroyed. Well, it's good to see where his priorities lie. Leave it to Christian to deliver one of the better matches tonight. The finish comes when Christian hits the Killswitch, but he wants to do something else. He goes to the top rope and hits the Frog Splash. It's amazing how every commentator in pro wrestling reacts to a new move. Cole and King were all, "Wow, look at that splash. What do you call it?". Well, there's some more WRESTLING LOGIC for you. Why do I keep doing that? 

Winner via pinfall: Christian

Match #5: Kelly Kelly vs Beth Phoenix
Phoenix wins with the Glam Slam. What else can I say? It appears they will continue the Beth/Layla deal. Whatever happened to Kharma? Oh well….lalalala. 

Winner via pinfall: Beth Phoenix

Match #6: John Cena and Sheamus vs Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, and Tensai; Lumberjack match
For some reason, they are just calling him Tensai. I guess he got demoted since they took out the "Lord" part. Either that or it's religious censorship. And what happened to the Shredder helmet? I want to see the Shredder helmet. We gotta punish these turtles. The lumberjacks featured nothing but heel superstars. This is what happens when robots call the shots. This match was given a fair amount of time. It wasn't too bad, but nothing special. For the most part, the action was lacking. Then again, we just got out of a PPV. It's natural to get a lot of talking after a PPV because you need to establish the new rivalries and expand the current storylines. Yeah, so the action portion of the shoe didn't help. Why does Dolph dance like that? Really makes you wonder what the guy did before getting a WWE contract. The finish comes when all the lumberjacks attack Sheamus and Cena. The babyfaces of the WWE arrive to help out Sheamus and Cena. Cena gets out of it and charges after Show (Who was watching the match). Just watch the remainder of the show….

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMN!!! Did you hear that? Sounded like a gun going off. I love that way that sounded. Although, it did sound pretty painful. Big Show just Falcon f***in' Punched your ass. What would've been really funny is if Johnny came back into the scene and say, "Hey John. I found him". I kinda like the way the show ended. That punch was great. And before I get complaints, I'm not saying this because I want to see Cena on his ass. I respect Cena for what he has brought to the business, but there are times where he can tick me off. I can watch that punch all day. 

No Contest

Overall Impression:
I have mixed feelings on tonight's show. While I admit the action wasn't there, I did enjoy a couple of moments. The opening continued to show how Johnny has gone completely out of control and is drunk with power. Show establishes himself as a heel. Yeah, Show has done this type of thing before, but we got to get it established. I know the IWC doesn't want to see this because its been done before, but we gotta to do it…..unfortunately. I liked the Punk/Bryan exchange. Plus, even though it was awkward, I actually enjoyed the Punk/AJ scene. I also like the last two matches of the evening. Still, I will admit that this was a pretty below average show. Then again, I still found a way to have to have some fun with it. That won't work for everyone, but that's what works for me. Its a pretty skippable episode. There was a brief mention of the Triple H/Brock Lesnar deal. It was probably best to take a week off with it since they are pretty much dealing with courtroom stuff. One of the disappointing things about tonight was no new storylines. Yeah, they established Cena/Show and Jericho/Randy, but not a lot after that. Then again, maybe that's what SD is for? This is a show that is not for everyone. In fact, I can admit that it was kinda bland, but I enjoyed parts of it. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.  


  1. I enjoyed raw, usually the raw after a PPV is great and this was decent.
    I feel like the WWF nitro days are back, I'm liking wwe these days. The stable business is looking good. No way out can be promising if done right.
    Good review though, looking forward to smackdown

  2. The Hardcore KidMay 22, 2012 at 6:07 AM

    So I guess Curt Hawkins finally renewed his contract?

    1. Either that or Curt Hawkins is getting paid with Monopoly money.

  3. No way out card;

    Cena vs Show
    Rhodes vs Christian
    Jericho vs Orton
    Sheamus vs Del rio (your favourite superstar ;) )
    Layla vs Eve
    Santino vs Antonio Cesaro
    R thruth and Kofi vs Dolph and Swagger vs Epico and primo

    Not bad for an average ppv

  4. So Bryan is so damn good he can even make himself tap? YES!

    (seriously, your typos are almost as funny as your reviews sometimes ;P)

    Also, I must be one of the few who actually doesn't mind a Show/Cena rivalry, as I just started watching wrestling last summer.

    1. Oh yeah....I totally meant to do that. It was a joke and you cracked the code. You win a green rupee.

      In all seriousness, this adds to the list of spelling/grammar/typos I have made over this time. The counter is at 47659.....and counting.