What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 5/3/12. After the debut of Open Fight Night, how do things continue in TNA? Let's find out and start the review.
We open up the show with Ric Flair. Ric says that Hulk Hogan has always thought of himself as the main guy, while Flair is G.O.D. That's literally what he said. He officially goes by the name, Ric G.O.D. Flair……that's his name for now on. Hogan is in the ring and says he isn't here to fight, while Flair wants to have power to the company again. After the two argue over the GM job and Eric S****er, Hogan offers Flair a new job. He wants Flair to be one of the judges to the Gut Check concept. Flair thinks this is a trap, but Hogan tells him it isn't and knows Flair will accept since he loves to help out the younger guys. Flair says he does love the younger talents and the wrestling business, so he accepts. What kind of thought process is that?
Hogan: I want you to run Gut Check.
Flair: You're setting me up, Hogan.
Hogan: Are you gonna take the job?
Flair: F*** off, Hogan.
Hogan: Are you gonna take the job?
That alone, was pretty funny. It's wrestling logic at its finest. Then again, there would be a lot of that tonight. That, and the crumbling of the fourth wall, but we'll get to that later. In all seriousness, it actually makes sense for Flair to be one of the judges, but wasn't Hogan supposed to be a judge? Eh, who cares. It's probably better this way. Why, you may ask…..
Match #1: Gail Kim and Madison Rayne vs Velvet Sky and Miss Tessmacher
A KO tag match. That's gonna put some asses in the seats. It's a pun……GET IT!!! This was a pretty basic match. The finish comes when Tessmacher ends up hitting Eat Defeat on Gail. That's right. She used Gail's finisher on Gail. So, that's three weeks in a row that Tessmacher scored a victory on Gail. I find this odd since the Gail/Velvet story never ended. It just…..stopped. In the meantime, Tessmacher is getting the extra exposure while Velvet is back to being the sidekick. Personally, I could care less, but I can see how some people don't like this since it can be a little confusing.
Winner via pinfall: Tessmacher and Velvet Sky
RVD comes out to cut a promo. He talks about how great he is and how people love him because of his awesome abilities. So, is RVD playing the face or the heel? I get what RVD is trying to do, but that was the definition of a heel promo. So, Robert Roode arrives and cuts a heel promo. So, let's do the math….
RVD heel promo=happy audience
Roode heel promo=unhappy audience
Yep, that makes perfect sense. Anyway, we have the "pick your poison" concept for tonight's show. If you're not familiar with pick your poison, here's how it works. The person gets to choose the challenger, and vica versa. RVD chooses Mr. Anderson, while Bobby choose Jeff Hardy. So, that means we have RVD vs Hardy and Roode vs Anderson later tonight. I hope RVD is only getting one world title shot in Bobby's run cuz Bobby should be working with a better opponent. RVD is great in the ring, but there's something about Bobby/RVD that I really cant buy. We also find out that we will get more answers on James Storm's presence.
Match #2: Devon vs Robbie T; TV Championship
What the hell are Robbie E and T wearing? It looks like something Kirby would puke out after having to eat the wonders of Dreamland. Anyway, this was a short match. The finish comes when Robbie E gets in the ring and uses the clipboard on Devon's head. Because of the interference, we have a DQ. After the match, Robbie E poses with the TV Championship. So, Robbie E/Devon is still continuing? Why? Who's interested in this? There's no reason for this rivalry to continue. It's clear that somebody in the creative staff loves Robbie E. How else does he get this much screen time?
Winner via DQ and still TV Champion: Devon
Backstage where Flair is talking with the other two judges of the Gut Check. You already know that Al Snow is the other judge, but who is the other judge? Well, it turns out to be Bruce Prichard. You might remember him from playing the character, Brother Love, back in the day. Umm…..Troy McClure? Anyway, this is where the show really broke the fourth wall. There's so much kayfabe being broken that I don't even know what kayfabe is after this. Flair says that Alex Silva has a good look, but he's not big enough for the business and doesn't possess the star power to make it. Snow says that Flair is being too harsh on the guy and claim that Silva was too nervous last week, which is why he looked so pathetic. Prichard was saying the same things about Silva, but he wasn't sure either. They also bring up that 60+% of the TNA fans want Silva to be signed. Yeah, I don't buy those metrics at all. They dug pretty deep to make a persuasive argument for Silva to stay, but this is also the TNA fans. They cheer for Devon, so I'm sure they will love every babyface that walks through that curtain. Unless the kid has something else he can shine at, I don't see Silva getting a contract. Not to mention that he would probably be stuck in the X Division, where he would make about 10-12 appearances for the rest of this year. Don't believe me? Just look at the other X Division talents and see how many of them have shown up as of late…..minus Austin Aries. Yeah, things aren't looking good for Silva.
Match #3: RVD vs Jeff Hardy
Before this match went on the air, Hogan was talking to Anderson in the back. Hogan is over the top while Anderson is being very hammy. For some reason, I was laughing during this bit. The Roode/Anderson match will now be a No DQ match. Now that I got that out of the way, let's talk about this match. It didn't last too long, but it was fair for the amount of time it got. The finish comes when Bobby shows up in the middle of the match. RVD Irish whips Hardy to the other side, but the ref dives out of the way like he's a superhero. That ref jump was the highlight of the night. Seriously, sign him up for the Olympics. Anyway, as the ref is down and RVD doing……something, Roode hits Hardy with the championship belt. RVD hits a kick on Hardy's head and RVD gets the pinfall. I think TNA went to the library this week, cuz that would explain this overbooking…..HEHEHE………yeah. I keep wondering where this whole thing is going for Hardy. If you have been watching lately, you will notice a pattern of Hardy getting screwed over in the majority of his matches. I can't help but think they are gonna use this somehow, but it can all be a pure coincidence. RVD was unaware of the Roode attack, so at least RVD isn't a total heel after tonight.
Winner via pinfall: RVD
Joseph Parks runs into Bully Ray backstage. Joseph wants answers from Bully since he knows he had something to do with Abyss' disappearance. In fact, he knows so much that he's gonna reveal the facts……next week. It's always another week with Joseph Parks.
Random guy: Hey, Joseph. These important papers need to be turned in today.
Joseph: Yeah, I'll have them in by next week.
Random guy: But they're gonna repossess your house and car if you don't have them done by today.
Joseph: It will be turned in next week…..NEXT WEEK!!!
Random guy: …….K, thanks.
There's also a backstage scene with Jeremy Borash. Jeremy has his big-boy pants and talks about how much he hates Eric Bischoff. Amazing how much braver Borash gets when he's alone. Bully shows up and doesn't like Borash's tone, so he decides to bully him. They are now in the ring and Bully continues to mock JB. Bully says he hates anti-bullying campaigns and he's gonna start the "stop being a little bitch" campaign. Oh yeah? Well, Daniel Bryan started the YES campaign. Take THAT, Bully Ray!!! Anyway, Austin Aries interrupts JB pissing himself. I like how JB completely disappears after this scene. It pretty much proves Bully's point on JB being a chicken s***. A Double mocks how Bully used to be Blubber Ray and how he would literally take bigger craps than A Double. Bully continues to taunt A Double until the little guy attacks. Security shows up and only restrains A Double. Yes, restrain the little guy and not this big guy? Makes a whole lot of sense. Hey, it was only a matter of time until the worst security staff showed up. Because they didn't restrain Bully, this allows him to run up to A Double and kick him in the marbles. Oh, the humanity. A Double will get him back……somehow.
Match #4: Kurt Angle, Christopher Daniels, and Kaz vs AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, and Magnus
I still think they are being very lazy with Kurt's change of motives. Kurt was fine with cheating his ass off against Hardy, but now wants to be honorary against AJ? Why? Wrestling logic? We also find out that it will be Kurt vs AJ at Sacrifice. I would ask why, but I don't think it matters anymore. I think Kurt will turn face in the cheapest way possible. Build-up? What's that? This was a very short match. The finish comes when Kurt has AJ in the Ankle Lock, but Kaz tags himself in. Miscommunication…….Joe runs in…….AJ counters…….Styles Clash? Yeah, I blinked for a second and saw that I missed all of this. Just slow it down, TNA. After the match, Kurt is pissed off at Daniels for his arrogance. Once he leaves, Daniels gives AJ seven days to confess to the world what dirt they have on him or they will tell the people. So, we will finally get the pay-off for this rivalry and figure out what started it all? I know I should have high hopes for it……but I don't. I'm just waiting to see how stupid it can get. It's possible that they come up with a good explanation, but……
Winner via pinfall: AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, and Magnus
It's time for the evaluation of Alex Silva. If Silva can get two out of three judges to vote yes, he gets a contract. Flair immediately says he doesn't see a future with Silva, so he votes "No". Snow says….
…..while Prichard is still stuck in between. They give Silva one last chance to convince them. Silva proceeds to cut the definition of "generic promo". We get it. 13 years old. Blah, blah, blah. Flair stops the promo and tells him to stop talking to the marks and talk to the judges. I love that line by Flair. It shatters the fourth wall, but it was appropriate. Of course the TNA marks are gonna love Silva. He's being portrayed as a face, but that's only gonna get you so far. That's when Silva regains himself and cuts a much better promo. I gotta admit. I really liked the second promo he delivered. He showed so much energy and passion. That's what I like to see. THAT'S the Silva I want to see. Get that crappier version of him off my TV set, I want THIS GUY!!! It's unclear if he can do that every week, but it's a start. Because of his promo, Flair changes his vote to…..
STOP THAT!!! Prichard says he was about to say no, but he also changes his vote to yes. So, it appears that Silva has a job in TNA. I know I should be excited for the guy, but TNA has a pretty bad track record when bringing in new lightweights. Heck, they signed a bunch of them last year and most of them are doing nothing for this company. If TNA wants the Gut Check to work, they have to give Silva some decent screen time. Because of TNA's history, I'm convinced that he will make 7-9 appearances from now until the end of the year and they will be in jobbing fashion. Well, only time will tell to see how TNA can handle this. He did impress me with his promo, but I still need to see more from Silva to be completely impressed.
Match #5: Robert Roode vs Mr. Anderson; No DQ
We find out that it will be Anderson vs Hardy at Sacrifice……and I don't get this. It's probably something that will make more sense at the PPV, but it seems random. Oh, and before I get slammed by the fanboys, I'm aware that Anderson and Hardy have had some differences in the past couple of weeks. It still makes this match random. For this being a No DQ match, it really didn't take advantage of the concept. I think the only "DQ" thing that happened was a chair. Gimmicks? What's that? This probably was the best match of the night, but it wasn't anything special. The finish comes when Hardy arrives and attacks Roode. He checks up on Anderson, but Anderson hits the Mic Check without checking to see who it was. Yeah, I would hate to be at Anderson's BBQ and accidentally bump into him. Roode is back up and uses a chair on Anderson. Roode hits a Fisherman Suplex to pick up the victory. After the match, RVD runs out for the save, but Roode runs away. RVD checks up on Hardy, but Roode didn't completely run away. He just went up to the entrance ramp, but RVD doesn't bother to question the possibility of an attack. Because of his arrogance, Bobby is back in the ring and hits RVD with the chair. I should feel bad for RVD, but I don't. He deserved that for not paying attention. The show ends with Bobby standing tall. This is why you don't smoke pot kids. Okay, I've had my fun.
Winner via pinfall: Robert Roode
I didn't like the show, but I didn't think it was terrible either. It was along the lines of average. The action portion of the show was nothing special. In fact, it was very forgettable. I think what helped tonight's show was the promos. Flair and Hogan shows more signs of a possible Hogan/Flair match down the road, but at least they didn't go overboard with it…..At least for now. By the way, I liked the line where Hogan said he promised that he would never lace up his boots again. I want you to remember this line. It might not happen next week, a month, or Bound for Glory time, but we will remember how Hogan will hold true to his words. The Gut Check moments were a lot better this week. I still think Silva is green, but at least he looked better this week. Only time will tell if this Gut Check concept really works. That falls on TNA creative, so let's see if they can make this work…..please? I also enjoyed the Bully/A Double segments. It will be interesting to see how they continue that rivalry. This show isn't for everyone, but I found a way to get entertained by tonight's episode. Again, nothing groundbreaking was done in tonight's show, but I liked it. I guess this was more of a guilty pleasure. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.