What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 5/28/12. It's Monday night, so you know what that means? Time for people to complain about a silly, wrestling show. Let's see how it did and start the review.
We open up the show with Big Show, but not before we see a complete recap of the John Laurinaitis/John Cena match and the murder of Cena. Don't worry, Cena is a cyborg, so he will only need one week off. Show cuts a promo about how it was easy to smile for the fans since it was all apart of his job, but he can do whatever he wants because of his new contract. Show is not an entertainer, he's a giant. Wasn't this the same guy who wore a diaper in the middle of that ring? He talks about how nobody cared about him getting fired and how Brodus Clay went out there to dance on his tears after he was canned. I'm surprised Brodus and crew didn't slip on that river of tears, but that's beside the point. He calls the fans shallow for abandoning him and how Cena didn't fight to keep his job and was more interested in trying to act like Jim Carrey. In many ways, this was very similar to his promo on Raw last week……and on Smackdown last week. To be fair, he did go into a little more detail this time around. Still, not a whole lot for me to say here, so I'm gonna stare at this magic eye deal for a couple of minutes……yeah, this is fun.
Match #1: Alberto Del Rio vs Santino
Can we really call this a match? It lasted about 30 seconds. Del Rio locks in the Cross Armbreaker and gets the submission victory. You would think for being the US Champion that they would have Santino give Del Rio an actual match, but that wasn't the case. I think Santino as US Champion has run its course. I think it might be time to get the title off of him.
Winner via submission: Alberto Del Rio
So, we have Eve and Alex Riley in a backstage scene. Riley is impressed with Eve's cleavage, but Show arrives and throws Riley against a wall. Show sends a message to the locker room. What's the message? Brick walls are dangerous? Oh well. In the meantime, Riley wonders how he's gonna get out of NXT. Don't drink and drive, kids. It will screw you up…..or screw you over…hehe.
Match #2: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth vs Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger; WWE Tag Titles
Did you catch the "We want Regal" sign. See, people besides me can appreciate the work of William Regal. Speaking of which, REGAL!!! REGAL!!! There was a line said by King that perplexed me. Michael Cole asked about Vickie Guerrero's outfit and wanted King to give his thoughts. I probably misheard this, but I swear that he said, "I can't talk and jack at the same time". What? Can he say that on this show? I don't want to know what you're doing over there. Anyway, this was okay match. It was nowhere near the match they put on at Over the Limit, but it wasn't bad. It was a lot shorter than the PPV match, but this is free tv. The finish comes when Truth hits the Little Jimmy on Swagger. After the match, Dolph is pissed off with Swagger and claims to be better than this. He leaves in anger. Hey, I would get angry having to team up with Biff Tannen on a weekly basis. Especially since Biff always loses. Seriously, watch the movies and you know what I'm talking about.
Winner via pinfall and still Tag Team Champs: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth
Oh yeah. I forgot to mention that Show gets to choose his opponent for tonight. He runs into Santino and challenges him to a match. Brodus Clay interrupts and says he wants to have a match with Show. The giant accepts. So, we have a giant vs a dinosaur? Is this Super Mario World? Ah, never mind.
The People Power scooter. Seriously, I want one!!! Johnny's in the ring and he makes a couple of announcements. The Show/Cena match at No Way Out will be a Steel Cage Match. Yeah, because nobody in the history of pro wrestling as ever interfered in a steel cage match. Johnny claims to be the best superstar of all time. He's the bewest of alllll tyme, yeeeeeeeaaaaaaah!!! I'm not sure what happened there. Anyway, Johnny reveals the cover of the WWE 13 video game. It has a giant photo of Johnny. Okay. The show has been pretty lackluster so far, but that was funny. Although, I would say that sales for that game would tank faster than the E.T video game on the Atari 2600. Johnny says he's better than Pac-Man. Better than Pac-Man? He wouldn't even beat out Bubsy. CM Punk interrupts and mocks Johnny. Punk reveals a giant banner of the real WWE 13 video game, which turns out to be him. We don't get WWE Ice Cream bars, but we get Punk on a video game cover. It's a start. Hehe…..mine is bigger than yours. Don't worry, Johnny. You may not be able to market the video game, but you can make a killing in the scooter department. Seriously, I want to see the PP scooter on sale.
Match #3: CM Punk vs Daniel Bryan
Can't really compare this to their match at OtL, but it was a welcome edition. It was definitely the match that stood out tonight. AJ shows up in a Punk T-shirt and watches the match. Again, she's adorable. How can you not like her? She's my favorite diva at the moment. I think King asked the question of what goes on in AJ's head all the time. I wonder that myself…
Yeah, that seems like a realistic thought in AJ's head. The finish comes when Bryan rips off the padding off a turnbuckle. AJ gets in the ring apron and warns the referee, but the ref must argue at the person because of the WRESTLING LOGIC!!! Bryan bounces Punk's head off the exposed turnbuckle and ends up stealing this match. After the match, Kane arrives and attacks Bryan with a steel chair. Once Kane has finished off Bryan, he turns his attention to Punk. AJ tosses Punk a chair to defend himself. He fights off Kane with that chair and is able to avoid destruction. After all of that, AJ continues to be interested in Punk while he has no idea how to react this. So, it's amazing how things are going here. Punk and Bryan had very little story going into OtL, but now they have all these different elements with Kane and AJ getting involved. It's a good thing they are adding other things to it, but if they aren't careful, it can become too much. It could also lead to it becoming confusing, and we don't want to see confusing storylines here. Hopefully, that isn't the case.
Winner via pinfall: Daniel Bryan
Match #4: Christian vs Miz
Cody Rhodes was on commentary for this match. It was also at this point where the commentators mentioned Chris Jericho getting suspended because he defaced a flag in Brazil. It was pretty smart on the King's part to not give his thoughts, considering he wouldn't want the company get into more hot water. It's unfortunate for Jericho, but it is what it is. Cody's argument is that Christian adds nothing to the IC title. In a way, he actually has a point. The finish comes when Christian hits the Killswitch and the Frog Splash for the victory. Cody didn't seemed impressed with Christian. That's pretty big talk since he actually lost to the guy.
Winner via pinfall: Christian
Johnny is upset with David Otunga and Eve. Apparently, Otunga needs to stop drinking coffee and Eve is putting out enough. Wait, that didn't happen at all. Hmmm……Johnny brags about lasting longer than Otunga in the STF. Johnny is upset with Eve because Sheamus never apologized on SD. Well, at least they addressed it. While Johnny is telling them to do a better job, Eve demands for Teddy to get her some coffee. Teddy is wearing a maid outfit. What, did Halloween come early this year? A 64-year old man shouldn't be wearing that. Thank you for the mental scaring, WWE. Teddy arrives with the coffee and Eve is upset that it's cold. She spits it at Teddy's clothes. Teddy claims that it was iced coffee…
Well, she didn't say what kind of coffee she wanted. Then again, she works for Laurinaitis, so she's bound to mistranslate her dialogue.
Miz is still in the ring. Miz is angry that he helped Johnny get the power of both Raw and SD and he hasn't gotten anything. Hey, at least you have shown up on television. Drew McIntyre was on the same team and he has made about 2-3 appearances during that time. Miz demands respect, so Randy Orton shows up and hits the RKO on him. By the way, his name is Randy Orton….I just wanted to tell you that. Dolph and Vickie are watching this in the back and that's when Dolph claims he wants that. You want some of Randy? Okay, I'm not judging. Oh, he wants to be a singles star again and wants out of tag team wrestling. With Jericho being suspended, an opportunity is open for someone to step up…..or get back in the singles spotlight. Hopefully, Dolph doesn't get pushed back again, considering that it has happened 2-3 times for him. As for the Miz, he can't catch a break. He loses matches and now gets killed while cutting promos. Somebody really hates the Miz. I would like to think with this promo, they do have plans for the Miz. I think Miz fans have to hold onto that since the guy hasn't had much going on for 2012.
Match #5: Sheamus vs David Otunga
Sheamus hits the White Noise……hits the Brogue Kick…..Sheamus wins……and I found a dollar……YEA!!!
Winner via pinfall: Sheamus
Okay, so we are getting ready for the Show/Brodus match. Once this match was made, it was heavily stressed that Brodus was 22-0 since competing. Show arrives and says Brodus is the ultimate sell-out. Oh, you mean that fat man who's trying to dance like Michael Jackson while being around two women that are totally out of his league? Naw….he can't be a sell-out. Show says Brodus will end up being the next Doink the Clown, but Doink was more talented than Brodus. Brodus tries to attack, but Show pretty much kills him. The match never got started, so I wouldn't even call it a no contest. Kofi and Truth arrive to help Brodus, but they get killed as well. The show ends with the Show standing above the rest of the show……show. This whole scene was put together to show the Big Show's dominance. They wanted to show the mean streak of the big guy and how Cena has his work cut out for him. As for Brodus, the short speech that Show said opens up a couple of doors. This might mean the end of the Funkasaurus gimmick, or a more aggressive Brodus. Then again, it could also mean nothing since Brodus is mostly a comedy character. Hey, at least Kofi and Truth showed their "support" for Big Show, am I right?
I wasn't expecting much out of Raw tonight. Mainly because it was Memorial Day. Whenever you are on the week of a major holiday or there is a holiday on that day, WWE generally goes with a filler show because most people aren't watching the program. So, I was mostly expecting a filler evening without a whole lot jumping out at you. Yeah, this was one of the weaker episodes, but there was a couple things I did enjoy. I think the Punk/Bryan thing is getting a little more interesting and I did get a chuckle for a couple segments, but this was a pretty skippable episode. Nothing really stands out with tonight's program. It was kinda boring and it felt like a show that was just there, but you gotta keep in mind that it was a holiday and they were trying to play it safe. Then again, I think they were a little too safe with this episode, which is why it was a pretty boring evening. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.