What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 5/10/12. What shenanigans will we see this week? Let's find out and start this damn review.
We open up the show with Robert Roode. He talks about how he beat three guys. You beat three guys? Well, I didn't know Bobby had THIS in him. Hey, I'm not here to judge. Trust me, TNA gets more perverted as the night goes on. Roode talks about in a couple more weeks, he will be the longest reigning TNA World Champion in company history. RVD arrives and attacks Bobby. Mr. Anderson also shows up to attack Roode. Just to add to the insanity, Jeff Hardy shows up to attack Bobby. At some point, Hardy and Anderson start fighting. The Hardy/Anderson rivalry is really forced, but that's my opinion. Anyway, where's that Hulk Hogan appearance? You know it's coming. Security arrives and…..THERE HE IS!!! I still think they should create the Hogan wheelchair so he can get to the ring faster. Hogan announces that he wants to put together a Fatal 4Way match for tonight, but it all depends on RVD. It would be Roode vs RVD vs Anderson vs Hardy. If Anderson or Hardy win, they take RVD's spot in the world title match this Sunday. If Bobby wins, he gets to choose between the three guys. So, an asshole, a HIGH flyer, and a drug addict? Oh, it's so difficult to choose. If RVD wins the match, he gets to choose the stipulation for the title match. RVD thinks about it and agrees, which does it for the opening. I gotta be honest. I like this idea. It puts the pressure on RVD, but the reward could help him win the world title this Sunday. So, either fight three people and lose, or do the boy scout thing? The choices are so hard. Just as you would expect, RVD accepts. Speaking of Sunday, I almost forget that Sacrifice was this week. Was anyone else in the same boat? Oh, and there was a backstage scene with Gail Kim and Madison Rayne. Gail complains about Miss Tessmacher, while Madison talks about meeting a guy. Hey, I think I found Abyss…….too soon?
Match #1: Velvet Sky vs Tessmacher
The match was…..a match? Yeah, I don't know what to say about this one. It wasn't good, but it wasn't horrible. It was…..just there. The finish comes when Tessmacher hits that weird slam. I swear that the slam looks like the opponent is KOing themselves. I just don't like the move. I'm gonna call it the Mind F*** Slam. It seems appropriate. After the match, Gail arrives and hits Eat Defeat on Tessmacher. The two have a title match this Sunday. For some reason, this whole feud reminds me of something Kelly Kelly would be doing. Then again, I don't think it really matters. I will be fair and say the rivalry isn't terrible. It's one of those things where Tessmacher seems to have Gail's number. Then again, if I had Gail's number, I wouldn't be complaining. Eh…..EH? Did anybody get that?……Blah, why do I even bother?
Winner via pinfall: Tessmacher
Match #2: Crimson vs Matt Morgan
Backstage scenes with AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy. Shadow, you know what to do…..
Now, I will mention the Bully Ray promo. He talked about Austin Aries and how you don't want to get in his way. I only bring this up since Bully would show up and attacks Morgan. He takes out Morgan with a steel chair. Morgan is busted open from his head. Officials and road agents arrive to get medical attention to Matt while keeping Bully at bay. Bully says what he did to Morgan will be the same fate of A Double at Sacrifice. The medics arrive and take Morgan out of the building, on a stretcher. Now, I haven't been paying attention to the dirt sheets lately, so I'm not sure why they wrote Morgan out of the show. Then again, I don't really care for the dirt sheets. I have to think that this scene was put together to make Bully look dangerous and to take Morgan off of TV. Well, the only thing I can say is stay back and see where they are going with all of this. If Morgan did get a legit injury, I do wish him a speedy recovery. After Morgan has been taken away, Crimson wants to give Morgan another chance to show up. The referee doesn't want to do it, but since 90% of pro wrestling referees had their testicles chopped off and donated to science, he makes the ten count and Crimson is the victor. Crimson gloats about his undefeated streak and how Morgan has a joke of a career. Oh, I don't think Morgan has had a ja…….ja…….jaja……joke of a career. Well, the most unimpressive winning streak continues. Hooray…….Yeah, I don't know. I'll be fair and say Crimson is a better heel than face.
Winner via spineless referee: Crimson
Match #3: Austin Aries vs Zema Ion; X Division Title
You would think they would have A Double confront Bully, but they went down this direction. So…..Zema Ion…..Where the hell has he been? This happens all the time in TNA. A guy shows up and starts to gain a little something, and then they disappear for 2-3 months. Why does that keep happening? Oh, and I'm aware of Ring Ka King. If I didn't say that, I'm sure the internet would've destroy me. This was a short match, but it was pretty fun. The finish comes when Austin hits the Brainbuster for the clean victory.
Winner via pinfall and still X Division Champ: Austin Aries
RVD says no one gets higher than him. Umm……that's too easy. RVD says that he wants a Ladder match. Don't you think the reveal would've been grander if they announced it after the match? Why spoil it now? It just takes away the surprise factor. Oh well, what's done is done.
Christopher Daniels and Kaz are in the ring and are about to reveal the facts. Daniels allows AJ Styles to come out and explain it in his own words, but doesn't show up at first. AJ finally shows up and says they have nothing on him and they are making a big mistake by talking about this. Kaz finally explains why he left AJ in the first place. He says he was there to protect AJ, but got tired of protecting him. This is why he aligned himself with Daniels. It's a pretty lazy explanation, but we haven't gotten to the core of this storyline. Daniels shows a photo of AJ and Dixie Carter talking. AJ says this was just a normal conservation. Daniels agrees, so he shows a second photo. The second photo showed AJ touching Dixie…..
Daniels finally shows the final picture. It shows AJ making out with Dixie. AJ looks shocked, which I don't see how. They showed proof to this guy weeks ago and NOW he's shocked on the whole matter? Maybe they only showed him the first photo? Oh, it's like they dipped this storyline in greasy, wrestling logic. So fattening that it will kill you. Daniels and Kaz say they don't respect AJ since he was always the golden boy of TNA, but now they know the truth. The segment ends with the bad guys leaving while AJ is down on himself. Yeah, you know you're watching pro wrestling when the good guy is probably committing adultery and the fans still cheer for him. So, I was actually given a fair warning from people who read the spoilers. I purposely avoided the spoilers just for the surprise factor. Well, that was a hell of a surprise. AJ is the golden BOY all right. I'm not afraid to admit this, but I think the majority of you can agree that Dixie is an attractive woman. She's a horrible actress and has made some "interesting" decisions on the business side, but she does look good. I gotta be honest. I know people are totally gonna disagree with me, but I'm interested in this storyline again. As most of you know, I haven't cared for this storyline in months. I've even made jokes in how it was gonna make no sense at the end of the day. Since I had a feeling it wasn't gonna connect with the previous scenes, I just wanted to see what crazy shenanigans they can do at this point. I gotta hand it to them. They actually made me care for a storyline that I lost interest a long time ago. Think of the possibilities here? AJ AND Dixie are cheating on their spouses. They can actually use this and it might be kinda funny to see what they can add to it. Are AJ and Dixie having a secret relationship, or have their own relationships taken a detour and they went to each other to comfort one another, or was it just an innocent kiss? Judging from the photo, I would say it went past innocent long ago, but that's just me. I like this plot twist since there's a lot of things they can do. Plus, it's something different. There's nothing wrong with trying something different. Of course, they can always screw this up, but it might make for something interesting and fun. So far, the internet is crapping all over this because it doesn't make much sense. Hey, I agree. This has wrestling logic written all over it. And it also took them way too long to get to the reveal. From Kaz's puzzled actions to his full heel turn, going down the route they did doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. I'm with you on that one, but look how long it took them to get to this part of the storyline? It took forever to get there, so I knew it wasn't going to connect with the previous scenes. I was just hoping they would do something to peak my interest and create something interesting. So far, they did that. I think we're missing the bigger picture here…..AJ is in cougar territory. Lucky bastard!!!
Match #4: Devon vs Robbie E; TV Championship
You got a match……fight on the outside……Robbie E still has a job…….Spinebuster…..Devon wins…….this is still a rivalry…………Robbie T takes out Devon……it's boring…….chicken sandwich? It's making me sleepy……..Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I'm moving on for your sake, not mine. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Winner via pinfall and still the TV Champion: Devon
James Storm is back at his ranch. He questions if he still wants to be a professional wrestler and keeps talking about how he beat himself at Lockdown. He pretty much says the same things he said a few weeks back. My prediction is for Storm to win the BFG Series.
Joseph Parks is in the ring, but not before Devon challenges Robbie E and T to a match at Sacrifice. Does anyone care? Anyway, Joseph is ready to talk. Can I use Chaos Control for this part? Come on…..it will be fun……you're not gonna let me, are you? Okay…..FINE…..Inevergettodowhatiwant. Joseph talks about Bully and wants to know where Abyss is. Bully arrives and knows something isn't right between Abyss and Joseph. Bully makes threats towards Joseph. Joseph agrees that Bully is tough, but brings up his recent set-backs. Bully gets angry and pushes Joseph to the ground. Once Bully leaves, Joseph Abyss starts to laugh. Oh, there's more…….God, is there more.
Match #5: Robert Roode vs RVD vs Mr. Anderson vs Jeff Hardy; Four Corners match
This was a pretty good match. It was short, but effective. Still don't know why it was called a Four Corners match. A Four Corners match is when two people fight in the ring, but you can tag in and out with the other two. This was more like a Fatal 4Way, where it's a free-for-all. In fact, that's what Hogan called it, but Tazz and Tenay keep calling it a Four Corners match. There's some serious issues going on here. The finish comes when Hardy hits Twist of Fate on Bobby, only for Anderson to hit Bobby with the Mic Check. Anderson dives after Hardy because……the script told him? Yeah, let's go with that. RVD hits the Frog Splash for the victory. With the victory, Roode vs RVD at Sacrifice will be a Ladder match. With RVD posing on the ladder, Abyss shows up. Yes, the actual Abyss. Abyss says that Joseph is getting too involved. That's how the show ends. I love the expressions of the wrestlers' faces when the show went off the air. They literally had that, "What the f***" look. So, I don't know why I didn't think about this, but I think I know what's going on with this Abyss/Joseph deal. This just shows how unoriginal the Abyss character is. It has ripped off Undertaker, Kane, and the many faces of Mick Foley. This is yet another Foley rip-off since Abyss is going to be running around as two different characters. Mick did the same thing when he was Mankind and Dude Love, and this Abyss/Joseph deal is right around the same ally. Abyss has gone through so many transitions that I don't even care anymore, but I want to be fair and see where this goes. Maybe they can do something different with it and make it fun? The elements are there for something fun, but it can also be a disaster.
Winner via pinfall: RVD
For the "Go home" edition of Impact, it really didn't feel like one. There was a lot of progress in their storylines, which is something that normally happens after the PPV. Then again, the Open Fight Night did set everything back a week, so I can see why something like this happened. I thought tonight's show was pretty fun. I actually enjoyed Impact tonight. Oh, and if you wonder if I'm insane…..of course I am. I thought everybody knew this? It might've been one of the better episodes I've seen. Again….insane. I'm not denying it. I think some people were expecting me to freak out over the AJ/Daniels storyline, but I just wanted to see what ridiculous stuff they can do with it. It was already ridiculous, so why not add more to it? The Joseph/Abyss deal was about what I expected. Still not excited over the idea, but let's give it a chance. The wrestling action was not amazing, but it wasn't terrible. There was some decent stuff to show, but this was also the "Go home" edition. Most of the time, the companies like to play it safe and save their wrestlers up for the PPV. Despite how much I enjoyed Impact, I'm still not excited for this PPV. A ladder match could be fun, but it can also fall flat. The Hardy/Anderson deal is forced, while the Devon storyline…….sucks. The Kurt Angle/AJ match doesn't really connect….Unless you look at Kurt's change of attitude. Tag Title match…..yeah? Bully/A Double is interesting, but that's my point. Not everything on the card is going to draw your attention. Oh well. This can still be a great show……if they want it to be good. Last year's Sacrifice was average, so maybe they can do better…..or worse. We'll cross that bridge when it comes. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.