What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 5/7/12. How do things go down with the robot uprise in effect? Let's find out and start the review.
We open up the show with John Laurinaitis. Johnny claims that nobody should question his leadership skills and how he runs the show. He also says that when he loses his temper, things go insane. Oh yeah, cuz nothing is more intimidating than this….
The mullet will give you nightmares. Johnny says he won't apologize to John Cena and the Board of Directors has not gotten involved on this subject. He also says if anybody questions his choices or makes fun of his voice, there will be consequences. Johnny decided to give Cena the night off because he wants Cena to be healthy at Over the Limit. Oh please. I'm just waiting for the day for Cena to go into a match with one arm and no legs and STILL win. Johnny tries to intimidate Cena by showing The Terminator, er, I mean his wrestling days in Japan. He says he was the Hulk Hogan of Japan….
After……THAT, CM Punk interrupts. Punk explains that the audience doesn't like Johnny because he's a jackass. Punk claims that Johnny relied on Brock Lesnar to do his dirty work, but that didn't go well since Cena beat Brock. Punk continues to insult Johnny. The robot gets so angry that he makes it Punk vs Lord Tensai later tonight. Punk isn't surprised that Johnny is getting Tensai to do this dirty work since Johnny hides behind bigger guys. Hey, is that anyway to talk to Laurinzilla? So, it's a pretty simple opening. The theme of tonight's show was to show how Johnny is on an ego trip and how he can abuse his power. Punk poked the bear….I mean the robot, and now he has to deal with the results. Now, I'm a big Punk fan, but this wasn't one of his better promos. I like it when Punk does more anti-establishment stuff. He has gotten a bit tame, but I hope that can change with the summer season approaching.
Match #1: Cody Rhodes vs Big Show; IC Title
Show was mocking Johnny's voice backstage. Eve ended up seeing this and Show left. Yeah, I'm sure this isn't important….lalalalala. This was a very short match. In fact, calling this a "match" is almost insulting. Show is dominating the match. Cody decides to get his title and leave. Show wants Cody to do the right thing and give him a fair shot, but he declines. Instead, Eve shows up. What's all this? She is angry about Show mocking Johnny and demands for him to apologize. Show apologizes, but Eve didn't think it was good enough. Eve threatens to fire Show if he doesn't make this apology. Show eventually bows down to Eve and issues a legit apology. I didn't realize Eve could castrate you in front of the world….
Oh, never mind.
Winner via countout: Big Show; Cody Rhodes is still IC Champ
Match #2: Kofi Kingston vs Dolph Ziggler
For who the show does not go off for? What kind of crack has Vickie Guerrero been smoking? Primo, Epico, and Rosa Mendes are watching this match with AW. Mason Ryan started to watch the match with them, but that isn't important……yet. This was a fair match, but it was pretty short. The finish comes when Jack Swagger interferes by pushing Kofi off the top rope. This allowed Dolph to hit the Zig Zag for the victory. Dolph won a match? Holy s***!!! Not sure how it will factor into the whole AW thing, but at least Dolph wasn't a total pushover this week.
Winner via pinfall: Dolph Ziggler
Michael Cole is conducting an interview with Cena via satellite. Cena via satellite? Would this be considered ironic? Anyway, Cena talks about how his arm needs to be drained and how doctors have told him to stay out of the ring for a couple of months, but he will still compete at OtL. This is what happens when you inject a man with some science. Cole talks about being impressed with Johnny, but Cena says he isn't impressed. Cole would be impressed if he saw a penny on the ground. So, this was Cena being Cena, nothing more. It was also at this point that I realized that audience was really lackluster tonight. It's like they didn't care about the show. That alone, hurts the vibe of tonight's show. I'll talk about this a little more later on.
Match #3: Layla and Kelly Kelly vs Natalya and Maxine
Beth Phoenix was on commentary for this match. So much for the idea of Beth turning face from the leg injury, but I was the only one talking about that. At first, I didn't know who was in the ring. Oh, the sad fate of the off-screen entrance. When did Natalya turn heel…..again? What's going on here? I'm so confused, shocked, and sad. Yeah, I got all of those emotions at the same time. It isn't easy. Oh well, I stop trying to make sense out of the diva division a long time ago. I suggest you do the same thing. Trust me, this is the least of your concerns. Oh, and Layla hits Maxine with the Lay Out.
Winner via pinfall: Layla and Kelly Kelly
Match #4: Sheamus and Randy Orton vs Alberto Del Rio and Chris Jericho
I thought this was a pretty good match. It was given a fair amount of time and I felt all four guys got to show off what they can do in a wrestling ring. I liked this match. The finish comes when Sheamus is getting ready to hit the Brogue Kick on Del Rio, but he ducks and ends up hitting Randy. With Sheamus caught off-guard, it allows Jericho to come in and hit the Codebreaker for the victory. After the match, Jericho poses with the WHC and claims he should get a title shot. Sheamus is back up and tries to help Randy. What a nice guy, how does Randy react to this act of good will? By hitting Sheamus with the RKO. Best "Thank you" ever. More on this after the commercial break.
Winner via pinfall: Chris Jericho and Alberto Del Rio
Jericho, Del Rio, and Randy are backstage and each make their claim to get a world title match. The three start to fight. Sheamus eventually shows up and gets in the middle of it. Once the bad guys are out of the way, Sheamus wonders why Randy attacked him. Randy said, "Your clumsy ass kicked me in the face". For some reason, I really love that line. Just the way he delivered that line was awesome. Randy Orton, ladies and gentlemen *round of applause*. Sheamus says it was an accident, but Randy doesn't care. Johnny changes the WHC match. It will now be Sheamus vs Del Rio vs Jericho vs Randy at OtL. Honestly, this was the best course of action. Sheamus and Del Rio are capable of delivering a good match, but the feud just screams boring. Jericho and Randy should at least make it interesting. I'm glad I knew all of this…..
Match #5: Brodus Clay vs Miz
Brodus tells you to call your mommas this Sunday…..I COMMAND YOU!!! Miz complains about having a match with Brodus and calls him King Hippo. He looks more like Donkey Kong, but it doesn't really matter. Brodus is JUST a video game character. This actually was a fair match. I don't think the WWE wants to COMPLETELY destroy the Miz. Still, you can't deny that he's going through a rough stretch. Not to mention it's wrestling logic since Miz is the reason Johnny has control of both Raw and Smackdown. You think Johnny would be more loyal to him, but he doesn't care. Despite the Miz doing his best, he falls victim to the Funk It. Miz better hope to a move to SD or else he might have to think about heading over to the unemployment line.
Winner via pinfall: Brodus Clay
That's right kids. You shouldn't bully other kids. It's wrong and you can really damage them later on in life. Yes, so…..be a star. Yep, it's a good message to advertise, but I always find it funny what scene follows up after these videos. Don't be a bully kids, followed up by Brock Lesnar breaking Triple H's arm. I know the IWC is gonna complain about this (Then again, what don't they complain about?), but I'm always laughing when I say this. You break the fourth wall on top of your wrestling logic. I calling it "broken logic". What do you think? We will find out what Trips has to say on next week. As for now, Brock's representative will show up. No way. It can't be? Paul Heyman? I never thought I would see him in a WWE ring again, but…..here we are. This is awesome. Paul talks about how great Brock is and how he's the most dominate athlete around and the WWE should be kissing his ass. He says the WWE Universe saw the list of demands Brock made and the WWE should honor the new contract. Since Trips won't allow it, Brock has decided to quit the WWE……again. Well, the first thing I want to bring up is Paul himself. The guy hasn't lost a step. He can still go out there and cut a decent promo. It was probably one of the more interesting things to watch tonight. The audience was pretty silent during this spot. Yeah, you can tell you are seeing a very very…VERY casual wrestling audience when the majority of them have no idea who Paul Heyman is. Then again, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. This does raise an interesting question. Did Brock really quit the company or is this a work? I would have to think this a work since I'm sure they will come up with a loophole/wrestling logic in order to get Brock back in a ring and fight Trips. It will be interesting to see how this unfolds.
Match #6: CM Punk vs Daniel Bryan and Lord Tensai
During Punk's entrance, Johnny arrives and adds Bryan to the mix. This is what Johnny really meant to say….
Those damn robots!!! Why is Bryan's entrance getting the off-screen treatment? I want to see him go "Yes". Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…..I'm actually sad. I'm really sad. I think I'm gonna cry. I wantedtoseethestuffandthethingand…*sob*. Anyway, Punk kept trying to fight his way of this match. He came close to winning this match, but the numbers game was too much to overcome. This was a fair match, but forgettable until the ending. The finish comes when Punk is going for the elbow drop on Tensai, but Bryan pushes him off the top rope. Tensai takes advantage and he hits…..A slam? Yeah, the slam looked botched, but I don't care. Tensai does the green mist in his hand and does his Mandible Claw Slam for the victory. Get a taste of Tensai's dinner, muhahahahahaha. After the match, Bryan adds insult to injury by applying the YES Lock. Bryan is screaming "Yes", but he's also talking about how Punk is NOT better than him. Yeah, this is all the build-up you get with Punk/Bryan. Kinda underwhelming, don't you think? Well, I hope they can build upon this either on SD or next week. Then again, I'll be interested in this match. No matter how poor the build-up.
Winner via pinfall: Lord Tensai and Daniel YES!!!
I'm split on this show. I liked it and I thought it was a lot of fun, but I can see how people were not interested in this show. I think the main reason is the audience. Compared to what we have been seeing lately, this was a very disappointing audience. They were very silent and didn't seem interested in the action. Heck, Paul Heyman came out and the audience was probably wondering who he was. So, the major thing that hurts the show was the crowd. Just as much as the audience can lift a show up, they can also kill it. For some reason, this reminded me a lot of TNA Lockdown. The audience at that PPV was very silent and uninterested, but it was a fair show. That's the same thing with this show. It wasn't that bad of a show, but this audience can easily make you not care. The other complaint I keep hearing about was the fact that the bad guys mostly controlled the show. Keep in mind that Johnny just went bat s*** crazy last week, so it would make total sense for Johnny to punish people for questioning his decisions. That's a good thing since you want to see the good guys overcome the evil empire. ALL HAIL THE EGGMAN EMPIRE!!! Umm….sorry. Anyway, so the good guys need to find a way to overthrow the main boss. Don't you think it would look really stupid for Johnny to go insane with power and to have every single one of his ideas fail in one week? It just wouldn't look right. I enjoyed the show, but I do admit that it was tough to get pumped about since the audience made it a challenge to enjoy. If you're able to get passed that, you might enjoy this show. Personally, I liked tonight's show. Will I get people that disagree? Of course. Then again, I'm perfectly fine with that. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight' show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.