What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Smackdown 3/9/12. How did the blue brand fair with Mr. Excitement calling the shots? Let's find out and start the review.
We open the show with John Laurinaitis and David Otunga. As a steel cage is lowering towards the ground, Johnny once again makes his campaign speech for becoming the GM of both shows. In many ways, WWE is almost treating this storyline like a campaign. A political race where people actually fight? Sign me up for that event. Roboinaitis announces Santino vs Jack Swagger in a steel cage match. The match will begin immediately. Not much to say for this opening. It was just Laurinaitis being himself. Let's move on because I have nothing else to add, so bleepaoplalaalallaaaloaloaoao.
Match #1: Santino vs Jack Swagger in a Steel Cage match; US Championship
You know Santino's in serious mode when he has to do TWO laps around the ring. Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero are at ringside for this match. In the early going of the match, Santino managed to hit the Cobra through the caged structure. Dolph was down, but would be sent to the back because of an official ruling. Well, this makes my pink T-shirt angry. Overall, the match was acceptable. Nothing amazing, but not terrible either. The finish comes when Santino tries to escape through the door, but Swagger has the Ankle Lock applied. Vickie and the ref are fighting for the door. Vickie gets it and swings the door, but Swagger ended up taking the hit. With Swagger knocked out, Santino falls out of the cage and retains his title. If you have been paying attention, Swagger hasn't looked weak in the last two matches. It just seems like Swagger is getting unlucky. As for Santino, he continues to ride the hot streak. By the way, someone pointed it out to me that Swagger looks a lot like Biff Tannen. With Swagger's new hairstyle, he really does look like Biff. I'm either gonna call him Biff Swagger or Jack Tannen. What do you think?
Winner and still US champion: Santino
We are backstage with Johnny Five and Teddy Long. Laurinaitis wasn't lying when he said he would put Aksana in a match against Kane. Teddy wants him to call it off, but Johnny isn't having any of it. Laurinaitis decides it will be himself vs Teddy later tonight. If Teddy wins, Aksana WILL have to go up against Kane. Ummm, didn't the Board of Directors almost fire Laurinaitis because of some of his decision making? What do you call this? I see we found ourselves a big, steaming pile of wrestling logic. By the way, did you see Laurinaitis' facial expressions. They were pretty over the top, but nothing can take the shot where Johnny turned into a pirate. I guess that means Roboinaitis is searching for the One Piece……or his next paycheck.
We see Drew McIntyre back in the ring. He says Laurinaitis is a fair man and wants to give him a second chance. He's a fair man? Wasn't he the main reasons you went back to Smackdown? Anyway, Great Khali shows up and it seems Drew has to go up against this giant. Otunga comes out and says Drew's real opponent is Hornswoggle. So, I guess WWE trolled you with Khali's appearance. Scotsman vs Leprechaun? What madness is this?
Match #2: Drew McIntyre vs Hornswoggle
The rules are the same for Drew. In order to Drew to keep his job, he has to win this match. Drew pretty much dominates this match. He can easily win, but keeps breaking up the pinfall attempt. My theory is Drew is savoring this moment since he hasn't won a match all year. It's the sweet taste of victory. Finally, the ref calls off the match since Hornswoggle is unable to continue and it seems Drew has been re-hired. It seems so….Anti-climatic. Drew has been losing for weeks, but now gets this victory and that's it? I don't really hate the idea, but it seems kinda cheap. I guess for the time being, Drew is going to be siding with Laurinaitis. This could evolve into something, but I can't help but think there was a missed opportunity. I only say that since we are back to where we started with Drew's character at the beginning of the year. What? Well, only thing I can do is wait and see where they are going with Drew's "return". There you go, internet. You got your guy back and it was done in the laziest way possible. I want it understood that I like Drew, but these things need to be planned out better or else the storyline takes a drastic hit, which can make people lose interest. Sometimes, the storyline is more important than the actual talent being involved. Oh, the IWC is going to have my head for that one. After the match, Khali chopped Drew across the head. Welcome back, biotch.
Winner via ref decision: Drew McIntyre
Backstage with Teddy and Aksana. Aksana is crying since she's worried about a potential match with Kane, but Teddy says he has to man up. You want to man up and lose your action on the side? Yeah, I don't think manning up is putting the woman in danger…..Unless you're Mr. Yes Man. Oh, and Laurinaitis is wearing a jump suit. What happened to the kimono? Bring back the Master Splinter kimono. Maybe it's at the cleaners?
Match #3: Mark Henry vs Ezekiel Jackson
This black on black crime makes me sick!!! This was a very short match. Henry won with the World's Strongest Slam. The match serves no purpose to the storylines, but whatever. He can't beat main eventers, but can still beat up Zeke. Then again, that's nothing to brag home about. Henry was wearing the blue spandex tonight….
Winner via pinfall: Mark Henry
Match #4: John Laurinaitis vs Teddy Long
Did anyone see the "Mr. Excitement" sign during this match? That was hilarious. Laurinaitis takes off his jacket and seems to be going for the superhero look. If that guy was protecting my city at night, I would be very concerned. Johnny wants Teddy to do the right thing and take a dive. Kane arrives and Aksana is really scared. As Kane is getting ready to give Aksana a "piledriver" (I couldn't resist), Randy Orton arrives and hits an RKO on the outside of the ring. With Kane taken out, Teddy gets a rollup victory on Johnny. Teddy and Aksana run out of the building while Laurinaitis is pissed off. Roboinaitis' facial expression are sometimes too much to handle. He really was the only person to watch during this scene.
Winner via pinfall: Teddy Long
Match #5: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth vs Primo and Epico
This was a non-title match. I was surprised at how much time they gave this match. It wasn't a ton of time, but it was fair considering it was tag team wrestling. This wasn't a bad match to watch. The finish comes when Truth hits the Facebuster on Primo and Little Jimmys from all over the world go nuts. Hooray!
Winner via pinfall: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth
Michael Cole is now in the ring and is about to interview Daniel Bryan and Sheamus. Cole ask if Bryan's title reign has been nothing but luck, but Bryan says it has to do with his skill. He also says his vegan lifestyle and his sex appeal make him a great role model. "Sex appeal" and "Daniel Bryan" don't go in the same sentence. Cole now talks to Sheamus and questions if Sheamus got lucky at the Royal Rumble? Sheamus says some of his success can be contributed to luck, but he creates his own luck. Cole wants to hear AJ talk, but Bryan tells her to shut up. Damn, that was harsh. I almost expected him to say, "Bitch, go make me a sandwich". Then again, what kind of sandwich would Bryan eat? He can eat the bread, but what's the point? I got it. He would say, "Bitch, go make me some toast". AJ literally just stands there and takes it. It really makes you feel sorry for AJ, but she's also the moron who wants to associate herself with this guy. Bryan goes on a speech in how AJ is now holding him back and he would be a bigger success if she wasn't attached to her. Okay, so why would you attach yourself to a pretty woman? Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh……..I withdraw my argument. Sheamus finally says Bryan is a wimp and his luck will run out at WM. I enjoyed this segment. I can see some people not buying this rivalry. While it's nothing amazing and easily gets overshadowed by some of the other WM matches, the storyline here is pretty straight forward and I think both Bryan and Sheamus are trying to make something out of this. Speaking of AJ, did Sheamus say she should be in a Catholic schoolgirl dress? Will Bryan be exploiting her later tonight? I think we all know the answer to that……YES YES YES YES!!!
Match #6: Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes, and Miz vs Sheamus, Big Show, and Randy Orton
This was probably the best match of the night. It was given the most amount of time and parts of it were interesting. Still, there wasn't anything amazing about it. You can say that about the majority of the action tonight, but that doesn't mean it was bad. The finish comes when Randy hits the RKO on Miz. The commentators keep bringing up that Miz is in a losing streak/slump. Well, I think that has been pretty obvious for a while now. After the match, Kane shows up and attacks Randy. The show ends with Kane and Randy fighting in the audience. There isn't much for me to say here. I pretty much gave my thoughts on Kane/Randy deal in previous reviews.
Winner via pinfall: Randy Orton, Sheamus, and Big Show
SD was a pretty average show tonight. For some strange reason, I liked this show. It was probably for the silly/over the top moments, but I liked it. SD has definitely had better showings, but this isn't one of the worst. The action wasn't amazing, but it was fair. The main event, opening, and tag team match were decent. I like how they are adding fuel for the Sheamus/Bryan match. They don't have one of the more memorable feuds going into WM, but I think they are trying to make something out of it. Of course, they go down the basic route by somewhat turning it into a bully angle, but that's fine. The main focus tonight was Teddy and Johnny. The storyline isn't really that interesting, but something about the comedy/shenanigans keep me invested in this. It's stupid, silly, funny, and over the top……and that's why I like it. I realize I am probably the minority in that department, but something about it just makes me laugh. If you can make me laugh, then I'm entertained. At the end of the day, I just want to be entertained while watching this stuff. In fact, I think that's what we all want. That's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.