Tuesday, March 6, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw Review 3/5/12 (Let's go for Round Two)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 3/5/12. With the Rock and John Cena in the same building for a second straight week, how will the show measure up? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with Shawn Michaels. HBK says he wanted Triple H to accept the Undertaker match weeks ago and his glad his friend accepted the match. He admits he crossed the line with his words, but it was to get Trips to accept the match. Even with all the insults HBK said, Trips still said, "no". He wants to know why Trips accepted the match, so he calls him out. Trips finally arrives. HBK wants to watch the clip of Trips accepting the match. The video focuses heavily on Taker saying HBK is better than Trips. After that trip down memory lane, Trips says this has nothing to do with what Taker said. Trips says the reason he accepted the match is because he's tired of people talking about how HBK failed to end the streak. Trips says he wants to end the streak for himself, but mostly for HBK. Shawn seems to be taking the news rather well. 

After that, HBK says he will be the special referee in the Taker/Trips match at WrestleMania. An interesting start to the show. Things are definitely starting to fire up as we get closer to the big event. I'm actually fine with HBK being the special referee, but it's a bit disappointing. It makes the match a little more interesting since you wonder what HBK will do if Taker or Trips are getting close to victory. Still, I'll admit that I was pulling for a triple threat match. I think that would've been awesome. HBK must have been serious when said he didn't want to compete again. 

Match #1: Jack Swagger vs Santino; US Championship match
Swagger either combed his hair or got a hair cut. Is he going for the Marty McFly look? This match had so much going on. John Laurinaitis and David Otunga showed up to "watch" the match. Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler were already there to watch this match. Santino was about to end this match early, but Dolph lands a cheap shot while Roboinaitis is talking to the referee. Teddy Long, Kofi Kingston, and Aksana arrive to support their guy. At some point, Laurinaitis and Teddy are arguing while my damn head is about ready to explode. DAMN!!! This all happened in a matter of seconds. There was so much going on that you would blink and twenty different things were occurring. Did the creative staff snort a line of coke while designing this scene? You think things would slow down a bit after a commercial break, but I think it went even more insane after we are back on the air. Kofi and Dolph ended up trading shots. Teddy pulled Laurinaitis to the ground while Aksana and Vickie were fighting each other. Oh, did I mention there's a match going on? You almost forget about the match because there's so much stuff on the outside of the ring. Well, I need to wrap this up or else my head will blow up. The finish comes when Swagger has the Ankle Lock applied. Santino counters and sends Swagger to the turnbuckle Santino gets a rollup victory and we have a new US champ. BUT WAIT!!! Laurinaitis says this is his show and he won't allow for this to happen. Teddy says because of the Board of Directors, he's in charge of Raw and wants them out of the building. Once security arrives, Laurinaitis and Otunga are being taken away. Somebody better call Jennifer Hudson since Otunga needs to get bailed out. I like how Otunga shows no resistance in being taken away since he can't drop that coffee. OH NO, NOT THE COFFEE!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!! This segment ended with everyone doing the air trombone. The air trombone is always amusing. Why do people still call it a trumpet? 

Okay, things are starting to get heated between the GMs. At least we are seeing new people getting involved. I know a lot of people don't like this GM feud, but I'm fine with it. As long as it doesn't get the Michael Cole treatment from last year, I'm fine with this. In all the overbooking and build up, I barely mentioned how we have a new US Champion in Santino. The second I saw Santino win, I knew a wave of complaints were going to come from a certain community. Here's what I think. Swagger was doing nothing with the US title. I joked last week in how Swagger was the worst US champion ever, but it might have been more truth than an actual joke. To be fair, it isn't complete Swagger's fault. WWE had Swagger beat a wounded Zack Ryder to win the title and……that's it. They didn't go any further than that, which is why Swagger had no stock for the longest time. At the same time, you gotta make something out of your chances. Swagger has shown once again that he can't make things interesting. In fact, you almost forget that Swagger was the US champion. Santino is very popular with casual fans and they were very open to the idea of their comedic character getting the title. Santino actually had momentum going into this match, so it means more that Santino won the title. As for Santino getting the belt, I'm not overly thrilled about it, but I think it could be interesting and fun. I think Santino as champ is a big improvement over Swagger. That's sad and funny at the same time. Notice how Teddy's assistants have become US champion. This should seriously become Teddy's schtick. Being Teddy's bitch=championship belts. That should be on a T-shirt. 

Winner via pinfall and NEW US Champion: Santino

Time for the Rock's history lesson. To save time, I'm gonna talk about all of these segments right now. The first segment was Rock throwing stuff into the river. Actually, it was mostly Cena merchandise. There's seriously a Cena garden gnome? Who in their right mind thought that was a brilliant idea? Who would buy that? That is just ridiculous, but it was also funny. Any day now, we will see John Cena: The Video Game. Play the action/adventure game as you take control of your favorite breakfast cereal. All of the sudden, Sonic Next Gen isn't sounding so bad. Anyway, this segment was hilarious. I liked the one where Rock talked about Cena's alarm clock. Time to get your ass whooped. I think it would've been hilarious if the Boston Police Force saw the Rock and arrested him for littering. The second segment was Rock talking about how Cena would make a terrible Paul Revere. The only part of this segment I liked was Rock singing the song. The third segment was nothing special. Overall, I thought the Rock made a much bigger impression this week. He mostly talked about how people are getting sick of Cena, his merchandise, and how he's embarrassing himself. I enjoyed most of these segments since it reminded me more of what the Rock brings to the table. The Rock would also confront Cena later in the night. By the way, why didn't I learn this stuff in history class? I feel like somebody robbed me of my education. Now I feel sad. 

Match #2: Eve vs Alicia Fox
Kelly Kelly was on commentary. There's a really cheap plug for the Nick Kids' choice awards. I love how Kelly barely shows any excitement in the King voting for her. Kelly is inspiring little girls everyday. If you can barely act and learn how to do a rollup, you will somehow find work. I think we can learn something from this. Speaking of rollups, Eve scores a rollup on Alicia and wins in about 15 seconds. I don't know about you folks, but I'm exhausted after watching that match. You don't want to make these matches drag, do you? Oh, and I like how Alicia made no effort to kick out of the rollup. It makes an already fake match look even more fake. For a 15 second match, it sure had a lot of problems. We're breaking new grounds, people. After the match, Ryder arrives. He calls her a hoeski and leaves. I can already smell those "We want Ryder" chants after those riveting words. Seriously, that's it? There was a backstage scene between Eve and Ryder. She wants to explain herself, but is too busy playing tonsil hockey with Ryder. Zack is giving off the biggest smile every. Seriously, look at him? He's so happy…….So happy indeed. Ryder also comes off as a complete tool after this scene. Ryder is falling into Eve's trap….For a second time. I guess Admiral Akbar is running a little late tonight. IT'S A TRAP!!!

Winner via pinfall: Eve

Hey, I didn't know Cena was attending a TNA event? I'm just kidding…..Or am I? Anyway, Cena is in an empty arena and talks about how he has to beat the Rock because nobody remembers second best. As Cena is talking, he's looking into the WM logo. Ooooooohhh, shiny!!! It's funny how Cena mocks the Rock for using taped segments, but Cena is pretty much doing a taped segment as we speak. It seems like Mr. Breakfast Cereal is becoming Mr. Hypocrite in the process. 

Match #3: CM Punk and Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan and Chris Jericho
This was definitely the best match of the night. At this point, the action was either going too fast or it was overbooked, but we get a pretty decent match with these four. Daniel screaming "Yes" is quickly becoming my favorite part of his character. Bryan certainly brings whole new meaning to the term "yes man". The finish comes when Jericho and Punk get a leg hook on each other. This was similar to the Punk/Bryan match on SD a few weeks back. The only difference was Jericho barely got his shoulder up, thus Jericho pinned Punk for the quick victory. I can see some people being upset with the WWE champion losing here, but I like it. It makes Jericho's challenge more meaningful. Punk doesn't lose any stock for the defeat while Jericho simply outsmarted Punk tonight. Score one for the bad guys. This will add to their rivalry. I would like to see Punk and Jericho talk a little more. Hopefully, they will say something next week. Either way, another victory for Mr. Yes Man. 

Winner via pinfall: Chris Jericho and Daniel Bryan (YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES)

Match #4: Big Show vs Miz
Before the match, Cody Rhodes came out to mock Show. Yes, because pissing off a 500 pound man will not come back to haunt you. Cody shows another WM moment involving Show. It was Show's WM 18 performance……in which he was at a restaurant. Considering that Maven made the WM 18 card, that's pathetic. After poking the bear for the one-millionth time, Show immediately KO punches Miz and the match is over. Remember when Miz was WWE Champion? Yeah, I don't remember either. I wouldn't be surprised if all Miz does at WM is cut a promo, only to get stunned by Stone Cold Steve Austin. It's a little out there, but don't say nobody called it. 

Winner via pinfall: Big Show

Match #5: R-Truth vs Kane
Truth talks about…..I have no idea. Little Jimmy is really loosing his touch…..Or its touch….Um, let's move on. Truth tried to make this interesting, but Kane was too much to overcome. Kane hits the Chokeslam and that's it. Is this Kane's first victory since his return? It wouldn't surprise me. After the match, Randy Orton arrives. Truth grabs Kane's leg to cause a slight distraction. With the distraction, Randy hits RKO on Kane. Randy gets on the mic and says, "Good to be back". I thought he said good to be bland, but I was mistaken. It seems Randy vs Kane will indeed happen. Like I said last week, this can be an interesting idea. It can also suck, but we'll talk about that after the events. 

Winner via pinfall: Kane

Time for the final segment of the night. Cena comes out and says he doesn't wan to go up against Dwayne Johnson at WM, he wants the Rock. He also talks about how he shook up the Rock last week. The Rock shows up and says he wasn't shook up and sees fear in Cena's eyes. Rock talks about how Cena will continue to be his bitch after WM. Cena says he's not afraid and realizes he can lose everything at WM.  The show ends with Cena going over to his family. I think it would've been funny if Cena's wife slapped him across the face. Either that or she's perfectly win with Cena getting his tongue down a hoeski. Honestly, the Rock looked lost during this segment. He was choked up and he didn't have the energy that he had during the video segments. This again will add to the theory that WWE wants Rock to look Hollywood and fake while making Cena look more authentic. Still, does Cena have to be grinning like an idiot? I honestly think Cena's reaction made this scene worse. Cena is sitting there with that smile on his face while the Rock was trying to have a serious moment. I admit the Rock seemed a little lost in this segment, but I think some of the blame should go to Cena. The Rock wanted a real stare down between bitter rivals, but it doesn't work when Mr. Breakfast Cereal is just smiling like a five year old. Cena might have looked good the last couple of weeks, but something about his acting/body language bothered me tonight. Then again, maybe it's just me. I was fine with the solo Rock/Cena segments, but I wasn't much of a fan of their encounter. I'm sure this segment did something for others, but something was missing in my book. If there was something I did like from this segment, it was Cena jotting down some notes as the Rock left. I thought that was pretty funny. 

Overall Impression:
I really didn't like how the show ended. Outside of the ending, I thought Raw was okay tonight. I wasn't overly impressed with tonight's show, but the show did have some amusing moments. This show was definitely on the light side of things. Santino winning the US title and the Rock's history lesson were pretty hilarious. The show didn't really feature much action. The only memorable match was the tag team match. Definitely not a show for someone who wants to see some action. I think some people forget that it's WM time and you have to get some build up with those matches. That's why there tends to be shows that are heavy with the promos during this time. I wasn't overly thrilled of HBK being named the special guest referee. I was hoping for a triple threat, but maybe HBK's presence of being a special ref can add something interesting. If you have a sense of humor, you will enjoy parts of this show. This show did make me laugh at the segments and the silly lines that were being exchanged. Even though the show was around average, I was able to have fun with it based on the silly moments. I think that has to be worth something. They do need to add a few more matches to the WM card, but we are seeing signs of it starting to fill out. That's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time. 


  1. When it was Big Show vs The Miz was i the only one with ShowMiz in the back of his mind?

    Congrats to santino for US champ. Being in an elimination chamber certainly helps your career :).

    1. Wow, I completely forgot that Miz and Show was a team. It was nowhere near as fun as JeriShow.

    2. i concur whole heartily , good sir

  2. I had 2 main problems with the show.
    1. I don't think Y2J actually got tagged in, did he? I mean Daniel Bryan was wrestling CM Punk then all of a sudden he was kicking Sheamus whilst Y2J rolled up Punk.
    2. They didn't book Santino's win well in my opinion, I mean it was too overbooked the match was, I mean if they do have a rematch then I think Lauranaitis, Long, Aksana, Kingston and Otunga should be banned from ringside.

    1. Tim, you're absolutely right, they pulled a 'TNA' opps Impact Wrestling move, Jericho was NOT the legal man!!

    2. It doesn't matter for Santino's win, as unfortunately, he will be facing a very pissed off Jack swagger on friday. methinks another title change unless usual shenanigans come up and Santino retains. Could be Little Johns revenge match.

  3. I had never seen or heard of 'Daniel Bryan' until NXT, but I liked him from the beginning - he can wrestle and despite all their hacking on him during NXT, he's decent on the mic too! I love his "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" Few wrestlers ever hook me to the point I enjoy them whatever their character is at the time: Roddy Piper, Stone Cold, Bubba (currently Bully) Ray, and now Daniel Bryan joins this short list!! Booker T has his fave five; I've got my fave four!

  4. wrestlingnerd rules u r so funny in your reviews and your criticism of tna especially i mean wcw

    1. Thank you. I do my best, depending on what the show gives me to work with.

  5. love your reviews stop being so sad lol

  6. Since the european and hardcore championship are retired tertiary championships, that means a limited number of superstars/pro-wrestlers can reach gland slam champion. So what if wwe brought back a low-card champion belt just to showcase rookies and up and comers and made that a tertiary championship.

    Crazy thought popped into my head: Zack Ryder's internet championship!

    Any thoughts or just don't care?

    1. I'm not really for lower-card championships. I think WWE has enough championships as it is. As for the grand slam, I have a crazy idea in how a superstar can get this. What's strange is the US Championship is NOT regarded as part of the GS/Triple Crown, but it really should. That alone proves that WWE really doesn't seem to care about the GS.

      Anyway, my crazy idea for the GS is to make MITB or the RR match part of the equation. I'm probably alone on that idea, but those are regarded as big victories and wins like those usually lead to world titles. If they did this, this is how achieving a GS would work.

      lower-card titles: WWE Tag Team Championships
      mid-card titles: IC and/or US Championships
      upper mid-card titles: MITB briefcase and/or Royal Rumble victory
      main event: WHC and/or WWE Championship

      I really don't care about the GS in general since it was a concept WWE scrapped a long time ago. If they ever wanted to make it a thing, I would like to see something like what I've done. If they ever wanted to bring back the Cruiserweight title, they can include that in the lower-card rankings.

      As for Ryder's internet title, it's just a prop for him to use on his show and nothing else. If you are going to start including championship belts made over the internet, you might as well include the Patty Cake Championship.

    2. I was thinking of the US championship as another option and thats been suggested many times over the internet but i just wanted you or someones else's opinion on this subject as i get a bit OCD about the next Triple crown/GS champion and title reigns (sorry). But thanks for taking the time for your thoughts, much appreciated :).

      As for the MITB and RR matches (or even King of the Ring), i am fully behind that crazy blogger idea as it makes the list a little more exclusive than Triple Crown.

      As for Ryder's title, i don't know what i was thinking. It was something to do about how WWE is twitter crazy at the moment like back in the late 90's when Mick Folly got the hardcore championship because more fans wanted to see more hardcore matches.

      Thanks a bunch WrestlingNerd, your Yoda-like wisdom has brought peace of this troubled mind :)

      Next GS champion prediction: Big Show (IC title)

  7. ok im just going to say it because you been making too many back to the future references. Jack Swagger looks like biff Tannan does he?


    1. Well, I guess Swagger better make like a tree and get out of here.....UNLESS YOU HAVE POWER!!!

      Yeah, I love those movies.