What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Victory Road 2012. Would it be any good or would we get a repeat from last year? Let's get this over with and start the review.
We open up the PPV with Bully Ray. Bully talks about being the talk of the wrestling world while the Impact Zone is chanting, "We want Devon". So, less than two minutes in at the IZ is already trying to give you a mild heart attack. Do I dare continue? Anyway, Bully will put the PPV on hostage until his match is made into a #1 Contender's match. He says people won't get nothing tonight. Well, it isn't like we were getting anything to work with. Oh, come on. Bully set me up for that one. Have a sense of humor, people. James Storm arrives and answers his challenge. Even though he already beat Bully for the #1 Contendership, he's willing to put it back on the line. So, we have a #1 Contender match to start off the show. I'm a little puzzled as to why this match is starting off the show. This is the kind of match you save towards the end of the show, but that's the least of our problems. Why, you say? Well…..You'll see in a moment.
Match #1: James Storm vs Bully Ray; #1 Contender match for World Title
Storm hits the Super Kick and it's over. You're probably thinking, "That can't be all….right?". Well, the match only lasted about 70 seconds. That's even worse than the infamous Hardy/Sting match from last year's VR. Since I don't think TNA would make the same mistake two years in a row, I'm convinced this is a joke. Any second, I expect them to say, "We got you". Oh, I gotta tell you TNA. You got me for a moment, but I saw right through it. Well, I expect for Dixie Carter to come out and restart the match. Let's wait patiently.
Okay, they are still rolling with this joke, but they will explain all of this really soon. I can feel it. I gotta admit, they got me pretty good.
Wait, what? They are backstage…….and……..Jeremy Borash is interviewing……… Austin Aries…….Excuse me for one moment…..
Okay. I think I've calmed down now. What the hell, TNA? I thought we were passed this? Last year's VR was a really bad moment for this company, so why in the world would you pay "tribute" to this awful moment? All I can say is there better have been a good reason for this. Now, I have done some research and Storm was dealing with a minor injury, so that might explain why the match was so short. In that case, I can understand why this happened. At the same time, why not come up with an excuse? Why roll a 70 second match on PPV? Did we not learn anything from a year ago? I really hope the reports I've read are legit, or else I'm gonna get super pissed. The best part of the opening was Bully's promo. Then again, what else is new? TNA….I'm not happy. I'm feeling sad, and I don't like being sad….
Winner via pinfall and still #1 Contender: James Storm
Match #2: Austin Aries vs Zema Ion; X Division Title match
As I mentioned in the…….you know what. Austin had an interview with Borash. Eric Bischoff steps in and wants Borash to scram. This segment will only add to the dirt sheet headline that was reported during the week. If you want to know about, look it up. I review the show, not dirt sheet reporting. Eric talks about how great A Double is. It's time for the actual match and it's about time we get the PPV started. Maybe we should pretend the first 5-10 minutes didn't happen, but it will still be on the back of your minds. This was a pretty good match. The crowd started leaning towards A Double for this match. Of course, this will only start the conspiracy theory that A Double is making a face turn. I think it's a little soon for that. Personally, A Double shines a lot more as a heel and I think can still add a lot more as a bad guy. A face turn would be fun, but this guy has so many shenanigans to offer. Still, I like the spot where Austin was tweeting during the match. This guy is entertaining. We need more A Double, and less Garett Jackoff. Zema went for the hairspray boner once more. Who would touch that can? Zema sprays the stuff in A Double's face. Austin sells the hell out of it. Seriously, he sold it for the rest of the match. That's dedication. The finish comes when the crowd helps Austin locate Zema. With the cheers benefiting Austin, he hits the Brainbuster and follows it up with Last Chancery (Horns of Aries in case you're confused). Zema taps out and Austin retains his title. After the match, Austin clears his eyes with a water bottle and tweets one more time. They actually made this match work pretty well. The Impact Zone actually made themselves interesting. Unfortunately, they would go back into their old habits as this show moved forward.
Winner via submission and still X Division Champ: Austin Aries
Match #3: Samoa Joe and Magnus vs Matt Morgan and Crimson; Tag Team Titles
Mike Tenay is pointing out Tazz's "logic". You mean to tell me Tenay actually pays attention? Wow, my head hurts. Crimson kept tagging himself in and continued to ignore Morgan. The finish comes when Crimson leaves his partner hanging. Morgan starts to fair well on his own, but Crimson would get back in and hit a Spear on his former partner. Joe and Magnus hit their combo finisher and retain the titles. Crimson talks about how he's a winner and Morgan is a loser. Are they ever going to give a name to the Joe/Magnus finisher? I'm calling it the Samoan Tower. The match was tolerable, but I really didn't have much of an interest in this match. Crimson turning on his partner was expected, so this doesn't come as a surprise. I may not have liked the match, but the storytelling between Crimson and Morgan was done very well. In that sense, I can give this segment a pass. Still, the match was dull.
Winner via pinfall and still Tag Team Champs: Samoa Joe and Magnus
Okay, this is something I haven't brought up yet. If you watch WWE, you're probably familiar with how WWE is in a twitter craze. They will show topics trending and show the profiles of their talents. I think TNA went a little too far with the twitter tonight. They were dedicating parts of the show to answer tweets. During every Borash interview, someone had to answer a tweet. Tazz and Tenay were reading tweets throughout the night…….and answering them. After a while, it was getting really annoying. It's like they couldn't come up with anything to talk about, so they need the help of their fans to make the commentary more lively. WWE goes a little overboard with twitter, but I think TNA went extremely overboard tonight. I'm almost expected a giant twitter logo to be painted in the middle of the ring. #Giantbluebird….NOT trending worldwide.
So, Robbie E is out for his open challenge. He says everyone in the TNA locker room was booked for tonight's show, so he doesn't have a match. It's a lie, but let's play along since this will be the closest moment we hear about Garett getting the pink slip….
Robbie makes an open challenge towards the TNA audience. He proceeds to embarrass them and says he won't challenge anyone since they aren't worthy. Devon arrives from the audience and is now in the ring. Robbie tries to get out of the match, but the referee says this match is a go. I'm not sure which is sadder. The, "We want Devon" chant or the fact TNA was listening to the IZ? You figure it out.
Match #4: Robbie E vs Devon; TV Championship
A match that really doesn't show much interest. Seriously, just say the names of the people who are involved. You will start to feel dirty. The finish comes when Devon hits a Spinebuster and we have a new TV champ. This title change does nothing for me. This TV title has been underplayed so much that it will take a miracle to make this belt more dignified. Robbie wasn't helping and neither will Devon. If you gave it to someone like A Double or Bully, the belt might show a sign of life. I still say this belt is like the Sega Genesis being attached to a 32X. The freakin' thing is on life support. Either kill it or make something out of it.
Winner via pinfall and NEW TV Champ: Devon (Just saying it makes you laugh AND cry)
Match #5: Gail Kim vs Madison Rayne; KO Title
Dixie Carter announced that Slammiversary will be in Dallas, TX later this year. She will also watch the Robert Roode/Sting match later tonight. Yeah, cuz we need to see Dixie's acting skills. This match was fine, but the IZ simply didn't care about this match. I didn't care about this match to being with, but the audience made me care less about it. Filing your taxes was more interesting than watching this match. I think if we learned anything after tonight, it's women matches should be face vs heel. In other words, what were they thinking? The finish comes when Gail hits Eat Da Feet for the clean victory. So, you put Madison against her and this potential feud is already over? My only guess was TNA wanted to make Gail go out on her own. Still, there are plenty of ways to get that result without it involving a match. This entire segment felt like a waste of time since I thought Madison would turn face, but that wasn't the case. Things can always change, but this was still a pretty bad segment.
Winner via pinfall and still KO Champ: Gail Kim
Match #6: AJ Styles and Mr. Anderson vs Christopher Daniels and Kaz
This whole storyline is confusing to follow. Not only have they given you no explanation for Kaz's logic, but why is Anderson here? Maybe that whole story I made up in the last TNA review was right? Makes me think I should come up with another story as to why Kaz is with Daniels……I'll think about it. I can see some people bringing up Tenay's Stockholm syndrome theory, but that's being lazy. They pulled that crap in the Angelina Love/Winter storyline from last year and it was beyond stupid. The real excuse is TNA creative has not thought that far in advance and are just putting them together to give them something to do. The match was not too bad, but the confusing storyline can turn you off. I just wasn't feeling this match. If you liked it, more power to you. The finish comes when AJ hits the Styles Clash on Kaz for the victory. What gets accomplished with this victory? Absolutely nothing.
Winner via pinfall: AJ Styles and Mr. Anderson
Match #7: Kurt Angle vs Jeff Hardy
Oh no, Hardy is at VR. What can go wrong this time? Well, he actually showed up sober and ready to work. That's a good sign. Kurt cut a backstage promo where he wants his son to watch his father kill his hero. Where the hell is child services? This was hands down the best match of the night. It's about time I got back into this event since I have been on and off since the A Double match. I was really enjoying this match, but leave it up to the IZ to make me a little depressed. Here is the first wave of the, "This is awesome" chants. When I first starting reviews, I had a, "This is Awesome counter". Well, it's time for it to make a return…
Hardy hits Twist of Fate, but only a two count. Kurt hits Angle Slam, but only a two count. Time for the IZ to feed the counter….
Oh, and Tenay even says it. That shouldn't really count, but that's not going to stop me….
I'm having way too much fun. The finish comes when Hardy hits Swanton Bomb. He starts to pin Kurt, but Kurt gets a rollup on Hardy. While the ref is making the count, Kurt has his hands on the ropes. Thus, Kurt ends up stealing the match. This booking made the most sense since Lockdown is next month. I recommend checking out this match. It was fun, but you might want to mute the IZ.
Winner via pinfall: Kurt Angle
Match #8: Robert Roode vs Sting
IZ did a, "You still got it" chant. That was great….Except all Sting did was push Roode to the ground. To be fair, Sting didn't look too broken down in this match. It showed that Sting has recovered since he doesn't compete on a weekly basis. It helped the match, but I don't think it was overly amazing. I will be fair and say it was a very passable match. When I say passable, I mean a current world champion competing with a 53 year old. The finish comes when Sting goes for a Scorpion Death Drop, but ends up KO himself on the chair. Roode covers him and steals this one. Are you kidding me? So, Roode wins this match because Sting KO'd himself? I want you to say that to yourself. Sting KO'd himself. HE KO'D HIMSELF!!! How can you NOT gain viewers when you have old geezers KO'ing themselves in wrestling matches? Well, I give TNA this. I don't think I've ever seen THAT before. After the match, Roode gets Dixie Carter in the ring to bare witness the humiliation of Sting. He forces her to watch as he continues to punish Sting. Sting manages to get back up, but Roode takes him down with another chair shot. I guess there was no banana peels for Stinger to slip on? Hmm….bananas? Is this foreshadowing? Well, only I know the answer to that. Anyway, Lord knows he can't KO himself for a second time. I'm kicking my ass, DO YOU MIND!!! Roode eventually gets duct tape and tapes Sting to the ring ropes. He continues to assault Sting while Dixie is crying. He even calls her a bitch. She's trying to help Sting, but Bobby isn't allowing it. This scene was hard to watch, but it was good. I wasn't big on the actual match, but the ending sequence was sick and twisted. It shows how out of control Bobby is and how he will do whatever the hell he wants. It will really force Dixie to pull for the Tennessee Cowboy in order to end Roode's destructive reign. I thought it was decent storytelling. This was probably Dixie's best acting performance to date. It's about time she learn how to give a human emotion. We all can't act like John Roboinaitis.
Winner via kicking his own ass: Robert Roode
I have mixed views after seeing this PPV. There was parts where I was enjoying the show. Hey, I joke around quite a bit, but that usually means I'm having fun with the show. Then again, there was parts of the show where they were just plain weird. The PPV didn't get off to a great start with that 70 second match. And Sting KO'ing himself? I still can't get over that. There was some good things. I liked the X Division match. A Double continues to show that he's being held back and needs a bigger role on this show. Him leaving the X Division might spell death for the division, but you can't hold back talent like this for long. The story being told between Morgan and Crimson was done very well. I didn't like the match, but I like the emotion being showcased. The Angle/Hardy match was fun to watch, while the ending sequences to the show were interesting. If I have to give this PPV a score between 1-10, I would have to give it a 4 out of 10. Keep in mind that I don't do decimal point scoring and my scoring system is different from the wrestling websites. 1-3 means the show was bad. 4-6 is right around average territory while 7-10 are PPVs you definitely should check out. I say this PPV was slightly below average. It had some good matches and certain storylines were told very well, but there was some real bone-headed moments in this PPV. There was also some boring elements with certain matches. It might have been around the average territory, but you really expect more out of a PPV. You expect something big and defining with PPV, not average showings that you should be seeing on free TV. Most of this PPV felt like glorified TV taping. Still, this was TNA's best PPV so far in 2012. I think they have set up a decent series of events as they inch closer to Lockdown, but they need to get away from storylines that are confusing, storylines that make no sense, and awkward finishes. That's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time. Bananas……bananas?
WrestlingNerd's Official Score of TNA Victory Road 2012: 4 out of 10 (slightly below average)