Tuesday, March 20, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw Review 3/19/12 (Yo, Rocko)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 3/19/12. With two weeks until WrestleMania, how will Raw continue the build-up towards the big event? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with CM Punk. Punk is heading towards that ring in a serious matter. You know he means business when he doesn't check his invisible watch. Punk informs the audience that Chris Jericho isn't here tonight. He says that's a good thing since he would beat the crap out of Jericho. Punk starts to talk about his father, but immediately pauses. Punk regains his composure and says close friends are aware of Punk's family, but Jericho went too far by making it a public broadcast. Punk thinks Jericho was using this alcohol deal to get Punk off his game, but that isn't going to work with him. Punk says he refuses to let personal demons deprive him from his future, and nobody should let fear crush their dreams. While Punk's father did have a drinking problem, he has defeated it and he's proud of his father. Just as Punk is getting ready to leave, Jericho is on the titantron. Jericho is very sincere for a moment. He says he went overboard by bringing up Punk's father, so he apologizes. What a nice guy. I think we all can learn something from, he's going back into jackass mode, isn't he?

Should've seen that coming. Jericho says Punk's sister is a drug addict. Jericho even brought up the fact that his sister would do "certain things" in order to get her fix. Wow, Jericho is really being an asshole tonight. Jericho says Punk will eventually cave-in because of his family's track record. Punk is really pissed off at this point. He says he will beat the s*** out of Jericho. Punk leaves the arena in an angry manor. He actually cursed during this bit. Punk in many ways is a rebel, so it makes sense. Well, I mentioned last week how this s*** just got real. Remember that? Well, now it's on. Even though there is acting involved in this business, you can almost feel the tension between these two. You almost get the impression that they both hate each other and they are ready to go to war at WM. Even though I was aware of Punk's father, I'm not sure about Punk's sister. It could be legit, but it also could be made up for the sake of the storyline. I really liked the opening. I was looking forward to this all week and Punk and Jericho managed to deliver a very interesting segment. I get more tension between Punk and Jericho than I do with Rock and John Cena. Maybe that's just me, but something about Punk and Jericho is really working at the moment. I'm not saying Rock and Cena isn't showing enough emotion. I'm just saying I see more emotion between Punk and Jericho, and I think the emotion of a rivalry can really make it shine or drown. Oh, and does anyone else feel they are watching an after school special? Why did Timmy pick up the pipe? Why do they not listen?

Match #1: Big Show vs Kane
Cody Rhodes arrives and shows another Big Show video package. This time, it was a Show blooper reel. Did you see those old tapes? Show was in good shape back then. You look at him now and you get a sense that he was influenced by Fat Albert. Anyway, the match was nothing special. The finish comes when Show is going to the top rope for……a moonsault? Seriously, what is he going to accomplish from being there? His reasoning for being there has to be wrestling logic since Show normally stays away from the turnbuckles. Cody is trying to taunt the giant. Once Show pushes off the guy from Assassin's  Creed, Kane gets back up and hits a Chokeslam from off the top rope. Kane ends up picking up the victory. After the match, Cody attacks Show. He hits the Beautiful Disaster on Show. Cody handcuffs Show to the ring ropes. I like how Show doesn't even bother to fight out of this. It's like he gave up. Cody gets in there and slips on a pair of boxing gloves. Is this a reference to Mike Tyson's Punch Out? Cody is playing the role of Little Mac while Show is King Hippo. Where the hell is his crown? Anyway, Little Mac punches the crap out of Show. The officials finally break it up. Once Cody leaves, the officials break open the cuffs. Show is angry, but is a little dazed from all those star punches. I really found this scene hilarious. Think about it? Show is three times bigger than Cody and it's Cody who's punching the crap out of him. It's hilarious. Come on, Show. Get up. Are you really going to take that? Stop napping on the job, Show. You can get up and fight. I can do this all night, but we need to move on. This scene brought forth many laughs and countless jokes……I love it. 

Winner via pinfall: Kane

Match #2: David Otunga vs Santino
Otunga and Santino start off by flexing their muscles. Santino actually painted on some six-pack abs. I'm telling you, Otunga is really going for the Major Armstrong look. John Laurinaitis and Teddy Long were supporting their captains. The match was nothing special. The finish comes when Santino is going for the Cobra. Johnny starts texting away on his phone, but ends up dropping it in the ring. Santino starts to stomp the hell out of it. NOOOOO!!! HOW WILL I EVER TWEET AGAIN!!! While Santino is destroying the phone, Otunga hits the Verdict and wins the match. After the match, Johnny's doing the air trombone. He starts to brag about it to Teddy, but Teddy ends up slapping him. I was on the WWE website and I saw this photo. If Johnny can't make you laugh, just look at this…

It's amazing how a guy with very little personality manages to be so damn funny. We get more info regarding the battle of the GMs later in the show. 

Winner via pinfall: David Otunga

A Lord Tensai video package. It showed a guy with a bunch of Japanese markings around his body. If it's not Japanese, I apologize for the mistake. There was a rumor floating around that former WWE superstar, Albert/A-Train has re-signed with the WWE. Even though we didn't see much of his face, he looks a lot like him. It will be interesting to see who this person ends up being. If it is Albert, it seems that he finally discovered the beauty of a razor blade. The Rock is on-location. He's standing next to the Rocky Balboa statue. Rock talks about the legends of the business and said he always dreamed of becoming the greatest of all time. I can't blame Rock for not understand the Ultimate Warrior. I don't even think the Warrior himself knew what the hell he was saying. Now, time for me to give you nightmares for the next couple of weeks….

I'll do whatever you say, just don't eat me. Rock talks about shoving a cheesesteak up Cena's ass. Is that any way to treat food? Rock talks about how he has to defeat Cena in order to become the greatest of all time. Even though many people will argue who is the greatest, the promo wasn't too shabby. Hey, the Rock gets a pass when he starts quoting Rocky. I love those movies. If you don't watch them, then it's a waste of life. 

Match #3: Daniel Bryan vs Zack Ryder
WWE showed a video of Ryder gaining fan support for making it to WM. Yeah, and how is that Eve situation working out? I'm just saying. This was a pretty short match. The finish comes when Ryder goes for Rough Ryder, but Bryan counters into the Le Bell lock and wins. Oh no, Ryder lost to the WHC. Oh, the IWC is not going to like this. After the match, Bryan celebrates the only way Bryan knows how…….YES YES YES YES YES!!!

Winner via submission: Daniel Bryan

Match #4: John Cena vs Mark Henry
WWE did bring up the fact that Cena was involved in a car accident earlier today. Well, I guess the other driver could NOT see Cena….

That was awful and people have been making that joke all day long…..oh well. Henry was dominating this match. You have seen this match a bunch of times and you already know how it works. Cena is up against a wall and can't muster any attacks. It seems like Cena will lose, but he reveals the "S" on his chest and manages to hit the AA for the victory. What else can I add to this? It's the same thing you are used to seeing. This adds to some of the reasoning as to why people don't like Cena. It seems like 95% of his booking is always the same, and I think people are getting tired of it. I respect Cena, but seeing this type of booking does get old. I'm not angry about Cena's booking, but it would be nice to see some change. After the match, Rock arrives and hits Rock Bottom on Henry. The Rock leaves, while Cena watches on. Cena seems to be impressed, but it doesn't take long for him to wear that smile. For people that are getting sick of the Rock/Cena segment, I will note that this will be the last segment they appear in tonight. Yeah, we don't actually get to see them close out the show. It's about time they have someone else close out Raw. At the same time, I liked this segment. It was short, simply, and to the point. Rock shows Cena that he's just as tough as him and he didn't break a sweat. 

Winner via pinfall: John Cena

Match #5: Miz vs Sheamus
Before I forget, Beth Phoenix and Eve will go up against Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos at WM. Are you really surprised? You really shouldn't be at this point. Even though I save my stupid predictions for the rundown, Kelly and Menounos will win at WM and the internet fanbase will probably get angry. Miz is now in the ring talking about WM. He mentions King Kong Bundy going from main event match at WM to garbage time filler the following year. He says he will NOT have the biggest WM set back in history. He issues an open challenge to the locker room and wants Laurinaitis to pay attention. Sheamus accepts the invitation and we are ready to go. The match was short. Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick and it's over. Maybe it isn't too late for Miz to get a ticket to WM? Hey, he might get lucky and his face will make it on the show. 

Winner via pinfall: Sheamus

Josh Matthews interviews Randy Orton. Randy says Kane cannot defeat him. Orton says he knows who he is, but it's Kane who's conflicted by showing a human emotion. Randy ends the promo by telling us his name is Randy Orton. Oh yeah, well I'm Shadow the Hedgehog. Randy might be bland while cutting promos, but he does stay true to his character. Still, I like making fun of Orton's promos. You should try it sometime. It's fun. 

Match #6: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth vs Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger
Vickie Guerrero announced that Dolph Ziggler and Biff Tannen are now apart of Team Johnny. That makes me five for five. Aksana comes out to support her teammates. The match was decent. The finish comes when Dolph hits the legdrop and goes for the cover. Truth had his foot on the rope, but Vickie takes his foot off the rope. Dolph and Biff steal this match. After the match, Aksana pushes Vickie to the ground. Vickie and Aksana start to fight in the middle of the ring. I like how Kofi's eyes popped out of his sockets during this bit. Kinda ironic that this scuffle between Vickie and Aksana happened in Philly. Damn, these people are sure pumped up to fight in a match about a robot and a playa. Only in the WWE. 

Winner via pinfall: Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger

Time for the final segment of the night. HBK comes out and talks about how Undertaker's streak will end this year. He says it's ironic how he's there to witness the end of Taker's streak two years after he lost his final match. Taker comes out and tells Shawn to shut up and listen. He tells Shawn that he needs to keep this match pure and clean and not get his ego in the middle of it. Triple H arrives and says this isn't about Shawn's ego. This is about Trips and Taker. Trips talks about how Hell in a Cell is his playground since he made a career in that structure. He knows what it will take to end the steak and is willing to put it all on the line for this occasion. Taker is speechless after Hunter's rant. Before he leaves, Taker adds that Shawn was always better than Hunter. Taker leaves, Shawn smiles, and Hunter sees it. The smile quickly fades as Trips looks at his friend. Shawn would crack a smile as he looks away from Trips. Kind of a weird ending to the show. They really seem to be building this match as if Taker has nothing left in the tank and he will lose. Maybe we are supposed to believe that this is really the end? Well, I don't know about that. I wasn't the biggest fan of the ending segment. It was fine, but it felt…..strange. I think that's a good word for it. The promo was good, but…..Yeah, let's move on. 

Overall Impression:
This show had some fun moments, but there was some segments where it seemed to go on cruise control. I felt the show got off to a great start with Punk/Jericho and some of the early matches. There weren't great wrestling matches, but they were hilarious. I felt like the show did slow down a bit in the second half. I'm not saying it was bad, but it did feel like the exciting parts got taken care of in the early going. I would consider this an average episode of Raw, but I think it was because of the funny segments. Chances are if you wanted action, you are going to hate this show. The wrestling aspect of the show wasn't really there. It wasn't terrible, but the matches aren't worth a second look. Then again, I'm just here to have a good time, and I was mostly entertained by this average episode. We only have one more episode of Raw until we get to the big event. It will be interesting to see what else is going to happen between now and Miami. That's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time. 


  1. The only thing I want to know is why Stephanie McMahon was trending during the show. Did I fall asleep at some point and miss her?

    1. She was in a anti-bullying video during the show. Amazing how a 30 second appearance can make you trend. Then again, Devon at Victory Road was trending, so maybe it's not THAT impressive.