WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE WrestleMania 28 Rundown Part II

Welcome back to the WrestleMania 28 Rundown. If you didn't catch part I, go to the link below to check it out. If not, let's talk about the last four matches. 

WrestleMania 28 Rundown Part I

Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus; World Heavyweight Championship

Time to talk about the first of the two world title matches. I never imagined the WWE allowing Daniel Bryan to go into WM as the WHC. Just say it out-loud and it doesn't feel right. Despite this, Bryan has become an interesting WHC. Notice my choice of words. I didn't say he was a good WHC, but he's definitely interesting. Ever since Bryan won the world title back at TLC, the man has gone through an ego trip. He picked up a girlfriend that he treats like crap, he continues to weasel his way out of matches, and he acts he just won the Super Bowl after every victory. How can you not laugh when you see this entrance every week?

Hey, he learned from the master….

As for Sheamus, he won the 2012 Royal Rumble match, so he's had his WM ticket punched since January. Sheamus has talked about how Bryan has become nothing more than a bully, and he doesn't like bullies. I almost get the feeling WWE should be putting the "Be a Star" logo in the middle of this rivalry. Bryan vs Sheamus, sponsored by the Anti-Bullying campaign. Just slap the logo on there and now it all makes sense. In fact, I'll do it for you. 

Anyway, it's amazing how these two were supposed to compete in a US Championship match at WM 27. So, is this the WWE's way of saying, "We're sorry"? I'm not sure about that, but this is still a match I am looking forward to. Even though most people say Sheamus should get the victory since he won the RR, I would like to see Bryan steal this one. I'm really enjoying Bryan as the champion. Not only that, but Bryan has been forcing AJ into more competition, as if he wants her to become the Divas Champ. I would like to see how far he can take that storyline. Besides, does Bryan stop saying, "Yes" once he loses the championship? Maybe it can lead to him buying one of those replica titles and pretending it's the real belt. It would be stupid, but at least he would have a reason to say YES. 

Who should win:

That's a tough one. Both guys have a strong claim to be the WHC. If I had to lean towards one, I would say Sheamus since I can see some people wanting to see a new champ. 

Who creative will pick:

Even though it's common for the RR winner to get the world title, it's not a guarantee. In fact, some RR winners ended up getting the world title at future PPVs. The last few RR winners didn't get the title at WM. Could Sheamus break that trend or will he join that list?

My final pick:

This one can go either way. At the moment, I will pick Sheamus. Still, I want to see Bryan win. That would mean Bryan and AJ will go celebrate…..YES YES YES!!!

Undertaker vs Triple H; Hell in a Cell match (Shawn Michaels as special referee)

A match that is getting a very mixed reaction. Casual wrestling fans seem to be okay with this match, but the IWC has been pretty vocal in not liking this idea. I'm somewhere in the middle. I like the idea, but I'm not "in love" with it as well. Then again, I always look forward to Taker's WM match. There is no WM without a Taker match in my eyes and I do want to see these matches. Hey, he only competes one time out of the year and I think that's the way it should go….ahem, STING. Anyway, I like to consider Taker, Mr. WM. Yeah, I know HBK has been given that title, but how can you not give it to Taker with his undefeated record? Taker IS WM. HBK has been very vocal with this match. In many ways, the story can be will Shawn call the match fairly or will he screw over Taker? For some reason, I can't help but think this match being the set up for something else. Think about it? Taker is undefeated at WM. Trips claims he knows what it takes to end the streak. Then you have HBK playing the middle man in all of this. I get the feeling that something else will happen down the road like a match between Shawn and Hunter or Shawn wanting to challenge Taker yet again, or maybe even a triple threat match. It's hard to put it into words, but you get the feeling that the storyline with this match will NOT end at WM 28 and it will be one of those things that will continue. In fact, you can say that this storyline has been going on since WM 25. Also, I can see some people not liking the HIAC idea. I know that HIAC matches have gotten pretty tame over the years, but I would like to think Taker and Trips will be able to make something happen. And I don't buy that argument that blood makes HIAC. I think you can make a great HIAC match WITHOUT blood. It's about the atmosphere the structure brings to the table, not the gore factor. Hopefully, WWE can give Taker and Trips a little bit of free range in the HIAC structure. If they don't, than bringing in the HIAC is a disappointing concept. 

Who should win:

WWE has also built up this storyline as if Taker has nothing left in the tank, thus making people believe the streak will finally end. That's not a bad selling point. Most Taker matches are about the individual trying to conquer the streak, but it's almost as if Taker is the one who has the most to prove in this match. From that perspective, I like that certain element in the storyline. Taker has the most to gain, but he also has the most to lose. 

Who creative will pick:

Like I said before, HBK being involved seems to set up the fact that a future match is on the way involving the Showstopper. Creative is leaning towards Taker, but Shawn's involvement can be very interesting for future events. 

My final pick:

It's a Taker match, so it makes the most sense to pick the Deadman in this occasion. The steak rounding out to a perfect 20-0. Seems appropriate. 

CM Punk vs Chris Jericho; WWE Championship

In many ways, this is the match I am looking forward to the most. Ever since the "It Begins" promos late last year into this year, I was hoping it would be Jericho and he would start a program with the Best in the World. Well, if you read my "It Begins" article back in January, then you would know that my original theory was correct. Punk and Jericho have cut some pretty good promos leading up to this match, but I can't help but think it could've been better. Then again, I blame that mostly on Rock and Cena. I understand that's the main event, but I think WWE focused too much on Rock and Cena and almost forgot about the other matches. Despite not getting a ton of screen time, Punk and Jericho have been able to make it work. The story started with the concept of who was the best. Jericho went out of his way to call Punk a Jericho wannabe since Punk and Jericho are similar in many ways. That might be true, but I think Punk has more than enough of his OWN characteristics to stand out. Since Jericho can be a master psychologist in the wrestling ring, he took a different approach to get Punk off his game. This has forced Jericho to go MacGyver on Punk and dig around for some dirt. Well, Jericho did cover up that Punk's father did have a drinking problem. The ironic part is that it's true. Punk's father really did have a drinking problem, but has since defeated his addiction. Although, I'm not sure about Punk's sister and mother. It could be real, but it can also be kayfabe. Punk has gotten very angry at the fact that Jericho is playing this type of card. I like this storyline/rivalry because it seems real. Sure, they used some real-life elements in the storyline, but it just feels real. Punk and Jericho have given some genuine reactions during this rivalry. I know some people are disappointed that Punk and Jericho didn't talk face-to-face for the last couple of weeks, but I think it makes the storytelling that much better. I know most of this is acting, but Punk and Jericho are giving some pretty convincing acting performances here, which is why this rivalry feels real. Cena can learn a thing or two from Punk and Jericho, since both can give some pretty good acting. I'm still waiting for CM Punk: The Movie. It will be a classic. Most people don't like how the rivalry was brought about, and I do admit that this rivalry didn't get enough screen time going into WM, but I still think they did a decent job in making this match work. I think this will be one of the best wrestling matches of the night. Yeah, people will talk about Rock and Cena for years to come, but I think Punk and Jericho will put together one of the best WRESTLING matches at WM 28. Potential show stealer right here. 

Who should win:

The storyline has been set up for Punk to overcome all the harsh things Jericho has said about the Straight Edge Superstar. I would like to see Punk win, but I don't want to see this rivalry end at the same time. I think it would be great to see Punk and Jericho compete in a gimmick match at a later PPV. 

Who creative will pick:

Creative has a good idea how long Jericho will be sticking around. Yeah, there have been reports that Jericho will stay on between blah, blah, blah to beeble blabble, but how much can you trust those reports? If Jericho is willing to work 3-4 matches with Punk, he might take the title at WM. Then again, he can always steal it at the rematch. There is plenty of options here.

My final pick:

"Best in the world" or "Best in the world at what I do"? For the time being, I'm going with Punk to retain his championship, in what should be a great match. 

The Rock vs John Cena

The match that has been talked about for the last year. I'm gonna go ahead and get this out of the way. This match has been overhyped. I think most of you can agree to that. I'm still looking forward to the match, but you can't doubt the fact the match has been ridiculously overhyped. I think the match will be talked about for years to come, but it's might be impossible to match the hype. Hype hype hype hype hype….I better stop. I'm still feeling the effects from the previous Falcon Punch. You gotta watch out for those things. As far as the match goes, it's a clash of two different eras of pro wrestling. Most people have their own reasons for siding with who. People side with Cena because he never left the business and vows he will remain with WWE. The Rock left for Hollywood, so some view Rocky as a traitor. Many people have expressed why so-and-so should win. I've heard some people say Rock should win since it will open the door for Cena to change his character. It's a long-shot since I have a hard time buying WWE doing a major change with Cena's character, but Cena losing this match would definitely open the door. Remember when Rock defeated Hogan back at WM 18? The Rock left the business for a while, but returned and came back as a heel. He even expressed the reasons for his character change is because the people turned on him when they were rooting for Hogan. I can actually see Cena doing the same thing…..sort of. Cena seems okay with the fact that people love and hate him. Some people want to see Rock win because they WANT to see a change in Cena's character. I do admit that I grow tired of Cena's character. There are times in which I like it, but then he shows up with that smile. You know which smile I'm talking about. I bet many of you want to slap that smile off his face. Now, I don't want to dive into all the contributing factors for people not liking Cena. Believe me, we'll be here all day if I did that. The list ranges from him winning all the time, to Super Cena, to his repetitive matches, and a bunch of other reasons. The argument for Cena winning is people will view it as a passing of the torch. Similar to what Hogan did with the Rock at WM 18. At the same time, I don't completely buy that. Remember when Hogan went up against Shawn Michaels? If you went by the logic of the legend passing the torch to the current talent, HBK should've won the match. Oh, but that's not what happened, did it? Yeah, so don't be surprised if Rock comes out the victory for this match. Oh, and if you're gonna ask me which team I am on, don't even bother. I respect what both guys bring to the business and I do look forward to this match, but I'm not really one of those guys who will pick a side. When I watch wrestling, I'm really just looking to be entertained. If you pick a side, that's cool. I definitely don't have a problem with that. In fact, I encourage it. Yeah, I allow a lot of free range on this page, but that's because I don't take things too seriously and I'm just here to have some fun. Well, looks like I trailed off again. I gotta stop doing that. You can also make the argument that Cena needs this victory since he didn't compete in the same era as the Rock. I can actually agree with that argument…..to some degree. Anyway, this match has been talked about so much for over the last year, so I don't think there is anything new that I can add to it. Most of what I talked about is stuff I have written in past reviews. 

Who should win:

Cena has the most to gain for this victory. Rock will go back to Hollywood and be drinking some coffee on the set while Cena will continue to work for WWE. Hmmm….is there a way we can work a trade? I'm just kidding…..or am I….

Who creative will pick:

Well, if we knew that, would we be doing this match? Anyway, let's ask the anonymous Raw GM…..

Never mind. 

My final pick:

Since I heard the match was going to happen, I assumed that Cena would win the match. Even though there are plenty of people who want to see him lose and get a character change, I think they are passing the torch this Sunday. Regardless of who wins, I can safely say that people will be happy, angry, sad, depressed, and excited for whoever wins the match. That's a guarantee. 

And that FINALLY does it for the WM 28 Rundown. Damn, this was a long article. This was probably the longest article I have ever written. That's why I released it in two parts. I just think it would've been overkill to put the entire thing on one page. Overall, I'm pretty excited for WM 28. I like this card a lot more than WM 27. I actually looked back at WM 27 and I don't think its aged well. That's not a good sign for a WM that only happened a year ago. Hopefully, this can be one of the better WMs as of late. I'm not saying we have had bad WMs for the last decade. We have had GOOD WMs during that time, but we haven't had too many GREAT WMs. I really hoping this can be one of the great WMs when it's all said and done. Well, I better wrap this up because we have gone on way too long now. That's going to do it for the rundown and I hope you enjoyed me. Tell me what YOU think will end up happening at WM 28. Also tell me how you feel overall about WM 28. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time. 

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling Review 3/29/12 (What the hell just happened?)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 3/29/12. We take a break from the WrestleMania 28 Rundown to talk about TNA…..riveting. Let's go ahead and get this one out of the way. 

Well, it didn't take long for TNA to bring up the fact that Hulk Hogan did NOT make his decision on last week show. Dixie wants Hogan back in-charge, so she will await his answer. Amazing how a year ago, they were trying to find every loophole possible to take the power away from Hogan, but now she wants to hand it over to him…..again? It's wrestling logic, but I think even THIS is pushing wrestling logic. We are only six months removed from Hogan calling the shots, so now we're doing it again? Do they really have no other alternatives? What was that? Vince Russo is NOT working for this company anymore? Yeah, I don't buy that at all. The show hasn't even started yet and I'm already bitching about something. That's not a good sign. The show opens up with Robert Roode and five police officers. What, is the Village People Convention in Orlando? Anyway, Roode tells the fans to kiss his ass. Okay, I'm laughing again. Now, we're getting somewhere. Roode says that TNA is nothing without him, so there's no way they would fire him. He talked about Sting and Dixie Carter…..Are we supposed to care? Apparently not since they are more concerned about Hogan. Roode finally talks about James Storm. He says the police officers are there to protect Storm since Roode can easily beat him up. Storm arrives, but the cops create a line of defense between Storm and Roode. Storm starts to make his way through the pig wall, but Bully Ray attacks Storm from behind. Storm gets back up and starts to fight everyone off. It really shows how pathetic the Orlando police force is when one pissed off guy can take down five cops. In fact, what ever happened to the cops after this shot? There were there for a second, but as soon as Storm cleared the ring, they're gone. I guess a wizard did it? Storm challenges Roode and Bully to a handicap match for tonight. The bad guys accept. If you ignore the Hogan stuff, this was a pretty good start to the show. Storm is telling Roode that he won't take any of his crap and he WILL become the world champion after Lockdown. If TNA would focus more on good rivalries as opposed to pointless storylines, I think they would be in a much better position. By the way, I want you to remember that as we move forward. 

Backstage where Madison Rayne and Gail Kim are talking. Gail wants to put the past right behind them, so she gives Madison a gift. It turns out to be a tiara. Madison likes the gift, so she now seems determined to defeat Velvet Sky later tonight. This scene gives me a headache. So, you had Madison and Gail fighting like a bunch of high school girls for the last month, but now we completely doing away with it…..Which makes it a complete waste of time. No…..no…..no…..NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….

You have got to be kidding me? TNA dedicated the last month to this storyline, but now it's entirely pointless. You know, if you're gonna do filler, you can at least try to not make it look so obvious. I can't express how stupid this looks. Don't you love pointless storylines that make absolutely no sense……NO ONE. NOBODY LIKES THAT!!! Okay…..now that I have gotten THAT out of my system…..Let's continue. 

Match #1: Velvet Sky vs Madison Rayne

NO!!! I'm done talking about the previous scene. Mainly because it connects to what happens next. So, Mike Tenay tries to bring up how Gail views Velvet has a threat for the KO title. Did we already forget that Gail DEFEATED Velvet for the title in the first place? There's wrestling logic, then there's just thinking I'm completely stupid. TNA has shown that they are not paying any attention to past storylines. Now, I'm aware this type of thing in pro wrestling happens a lot, but this only happened five months ago. If we were a year or two removed from it, then I would be fine with it. TNA has multiple options for the KOs, but I guess they love paying people to sit around and do nothing. The match was nothing special. Velvet dominates the match and wins with the In Yo Face. After the match, Velvet brings up the fact that she never cashed in her rematch clause, so she demands to get a rematch for the KO title. I know that Velvet should have brought this up sooner, but based on how dimwitted her character can be, I can actually buy the fact that Velvet is barely realizing that she never got a rematch. Well, at least she remembered, but don't these things have a warranty on them? Then again, who gives a s***? I know I don't. 

Winner via pinfall: Velvet Sky

Bully and Roode are backstage. They talk about how Storm has no chance against them. Roode starts to get too excited and wants to bring it in, but Bully says he doesn't do that. Wow, an attempt at humor that actually succeeded? Bully needs to show up on this show a lot more. He's a jerk and funny at the same time. The next scene is…..*SIGH*……..Hogan and Dixie are talking about the GM offer in a random location. It looked like they were doing it in a children's playground. Seriously, did you listen to the background noise? It sounded like kids were screaming and yelling. What are Dixie and Hogan doing in a children's playground? Here's my theory. Dixie and Hogan were originally going to go to a coffee shop, but Hogan couldn't walk far enough, so they stopped at the nearest park bench. This scene went on forever, and I really do mean forever. I think it lasted five minutes. Dixie wants Hogan back in control, but Hogan remembers his past experience with the job. Hogan says Sting should do the job, while Dixie mostly blames Eric Bischoff for the job……blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, just get on with it!!! Another thing I hated about this scene was the camera shot. Did we really need camera hidden in the bushes? Wow, a cameraman hiding in the bushes of a children's playground? Anyone else see how wrong this is? Leave it to Hogan to steal the spotlight for the one-millionth time. Oh, and guess what? Hogan STILL has not made up his mind, so we have another Hogan scene for tonight. TNA World Championship? What is that? What even is that? Oh, and Kurt Angle says Jeff Hardy has to win his match to get a rematch with him. Why? Well, that's a damn good question. 

We are getting ready for the Crimson/Matt Morgan match, but Austin Aries interrupts. Tenay seemed upset that he didn't see the Morgan/Crimson match. Tenay was like, "It's time for the Crimson/Morgan match. What's Austin doing here?". Yeah, like everyone was really gearing up for the Crimson/Morgan match. Tenay never seizes to amaze me. Anyway, Austin talks about how Bully interrupted his match last week. He might be a small guy, but he is very outspoken and doesn't like Bully getting involved in his business. A Double says he respects Storm for having courage, so he wants to help him out and be his partner for tonight's match. This was a good promo by A Double, but the Impact Zone ruins this game-changing moment. A Double was making his face/tweener turn, but they were annoying as ever. Is there any way to mute the Impact Zone, Tenay, and Tazz? If you advertised that, I bet that could increase the ratings. 

Match #2: Crimson vs Matt Morgan

We are barely at the second match? This show is an endurance test. This match was mainly a brawl. They were beating the crap out of each other. In fact, both guys fight on the outside, thus both get a double countout. Tenay talks about how the ring can't contain them. If only they designed some type of structure that contained a metal fence, in which it would be difficult for someone to run away from? Well, I guess that doesn't exist…..derp. Anyway, I want to add that this match did its job in telling the story. The match itself was pretty fair, but it was short. 

Double Countout

Match #3: Mr. Anderson vs Jeff Hardy

I should mention that Joseph Parks is talking to the production team on the whereabouts of Abyss. This is where the magic happens….

Joseph Parks might be the funniest character on his show. Anyway, he finds no information on Abyss. Time to get back to the match.  Why is Hardy having to defeat Anderson in order to get a match with Kurt? That makes no sense. Russo's back there, isn't he? Don't lie to me, TNA. I can sense that he wrote this. Either that or somebody was inspired by….Oh no. This match felt sloppy to me. It just seemed like Hardy and Anderson were slipping around in that ring. What, did somebody pour baby oil all over that ring?. Are there invisible banana peels in there? Yeah, so not a big fan of this match. The finish comes when Hardy and Anderson have a meeting of the minds. Hardy falls on the outside of the ring. While the ref checks up on Anderson, Kurt arrives and attacks Hardy. He tosses him back in the ring, but Hardy walks into the Mic Check for the victory. Anderson was not aware of Kurt's interference. Kurt wins this round.

Winner via pinfall: Mr. Anderson

They showed the James Storm music video. It's a pretty catchy tune, but it was basically a longer version of Storm's entrance theme. This song is one of the highlights of tonight's show. That's amazing, yet sad at the same time. ODB and Eric Young plan their wedding. Cameraman is really focusing on the cleavage of the wedding planner's chest. Yes, it is a woman, so I see what they were trying to do here. TNA hired pedophiles and perverts as the camera crew. What is going on over there? I don't think I want to know. Anyway, ODB hates the wedding planner, so she cancels it. She wants to get married inside a steel cage. EY agrees. I have expressed in the past how much I don't like these segment. If you enjoy this EY/ODB bit, tell me your reasons why? I just can't get into it, so maybe you can convince me.

Eric Bischoff comes out and talks about how he's a man with a plan. He has checked everything off his list, except for one thing. He still wants to get Garett Bischoff out of the business, but he's still here. Hey, Eric Bischoff and I actually agree on something. Who would've thought? This scene worked like the other Eric/Garett scenes in the past. Eric wants him gone, but Garett is a parasite and continues to stick around. We have seen this scene countless time. Do we really have to see it again? Not only that, but can Garett get any worse? Yes he can since he continues to smile away. That's what you call, John Cena acting. Watch out for this guy!!! Anyway, Eric puts his son in a steel cage match against Gunner. Oh God…….OH GOD!!! Did we forget about the Garett/Gunner match at Genesis? That match was awful, and you want to repeat it inside a steel cage? Are you out of your damn mind? I guess they want TWO nominees for the Worst match of 2012. That's going above and beyond, TNA. Oh, and check out the Storm training montage. Anyone having Rocky 4 flashbacks? DRAGO!!!

Match #4: Robert Roode and Bully Ray vs James Storm and Austin Aries

This was the best match of the night, but look at the competition? A KO match that made no sense, a double countout, and a sloppy match. Yeah, that was a nail-biter. I enjoyed the A Double/Bully segments. They really made the match fun, but let's give some credit to Roode and Storm. You see, THIS is what TNA needs more of. Four interesting characters that are always evolving, not 58 year old GMs and confusing storylines. Love the showboating by Austin. He might be making a face turn, but at least he keeps his coolness. Not sure if it was me, but I think I heard a small, "This is awesome" chant in the distance. Well…..I'm counting it…..

DING!!!

The finish comes when Storm hits Last Call Super Kick on Bully. This was a good match. Damn good. Only problem is you have to go through a lot of crap in order to get to this part. Isn't Youtube so helpful?

Winner via pinfall: James Storm and Austin Aries

As you would've guessed, Hogan is the final part of the show. He's in the intro, the middle, and now the end. Yeah, still don't believe me that he likes to shine the spotlight on himself? Too bad Batista isn't here. SPOTLIGHT!!! Hogan comes out and says he has closed the door on this matter. Sting arrives with some members of the TNA roster. Sting says he can't deny these people on accepting the job. Hogan says if Sting watches Hogan's back, he will accept. Sting says of course. Hogan finally buckles down and he accepts the job….again….Excuse me for a moment….

Hogan is back in control. It never f***ing ends. I'm calling it right now. Hogan will gain an ego at some point and then you will see Immortal 2.0 or some bulls*** like that. Yep….Looking forward to that……*crying*…….Why would somebody do this……*still crying*. I would probably be on board this idea if Hogan was more than a year removed from the job, but he was just in-control six months ago. I want to bring up how I hope Hogan doesn't steal the spotlight on the other talents, but this is Hogan we're talking about. You know he will focus on himself. Hell the last two episodes of Impact have ended with him, so it's already started…..YET AGAIN!! ………I'm sad. I think I'm gonna cry again. 

Overall Impression:

Samuel L. Jackson, you can do the honors……

You thought last week was bad? This is an insult to last week. The only thing I enjoyed were the segments involving Storm, Roode, Bully, and A Double. They were definitely the highlight of tonight's show. The show had some pretty forgetting/bad matches, except for the main event. The promos/segments? F*** them. Most of them were bad, except for the ones I previously listed. The whole show was dedicated to Hogan's decision. You thought Lebron's decision was ridiculous? At least that only lasted for one hour, but Hogan dedicates TWO hours for his decision. TWO F***ING HOURS!!! Yeah, I think most of you can tell that I am being very negative tonight. In fact, I expect to get a lot of angry complaints with this review, but I can't support this. Hogan was the subject way too much on this show. Hey, remember that LD PPV that's in a few weeks? You know? The PPV that is your second best show of the year? Yeah, let's not build that thing up and focus if Hogan will take the GM job or not. What's next? Is next week's show going to revolve on what Hogan wants to eat? Why stop there? How about who Hogan will bang next? Or how about what car Hogan is going to drive? The possibilities are endless. I think it finally happened. I have completely lost my mind……wait, that's not true. I lost my mind years ago. See, I just don't know anymore. TNA, you were making improvements. Things were looking up, but TNA has taken a lot of steps backwards in the last couple of weeks. Now, I'm most likely the minority of Hogan coming back to the show. In fact, there's plenty of people who like Hogan and want to see the guy every week. That's fine and I don't have a problem with that. In fact, I'll repeat that one. I don't have a problem with TNA making Hogan the GM. Yeah, logic is up the ass on that one, but that's not the main issue here. What I do have a problem with is putting most of the focus on Hogan. It just seemed like an excuse for people to show Hogan some appreciation. Yeah, like that hasn't happened before. I'm fine with Hogan showing up on my TV, but it should be in small increments, not completely overdone. This shouldn't even be called TNA anymore since tonight's show can be referred to as the Hulk Hogan Show. Just don't make Hogan the attention whore. Oh, and if you bring up the argument that Hogan will gain viewers, then were have these "viewers" been since Hogan showed up two years ago? It's obviously not working, so it's time for a new idea. Unfortunately, Hogan is making himself the spotlight and next week's show will probably involved more Hogan stuff. Anyway, I gotta end this review/rant or else it will never stop. If you want to see the best parts of the show, just watch the main event and avoid everything else. We have no idea if WM 28 will be good or bad, but it can't be any worse than this, right? That's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed my non-sense. I apologizing for all the swearing, but I couldn't hold back tonight. I just decided to let loose. As always, tell me what you thought of my insane thoughts or tonight's show. Part II of the WM 28 Rundown will be posted on Saturday. Check out Part I if you haven't. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time. 

http://manicexpression.webs.com/

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE WrestleMania 28 Rundown Part I

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another PPV rundown. With all the hype and build-up, it's time to do the WrestleMania 28 Rundown. For those of you new to the PPV rundown and have no idea how this works, here's the basics. I will talk about the matches on the PPV and try to break it down from every direction possible. I also break down the matches into who should win, who creative will pick, and I finally toss my very own prediction, but I don't care if I get them right or wrong and it's mainly there for novelty. Well, let's begin.

Kelly Kelly and Mario Menounos vs Beth Phoenix and Eve

Well, might as well get the weakest match out of the way. This is the celebrity match for this year. Or as I like to call it, the annual match where hardcore wrestling fans throw a fit because they hate celebrities showing up on their wrestling programs. You know what? This is the argument that I have never understood. I see and hear more wrestling fans complaining about the addition of celebrities on their programs, but celebrities have been showing up on wrestling shows for years. In fact, celebrities and WM have gone together since WM 1. I guess nobody remembers Mr. T being involved in a tag team match. Okay, kind of got off track there, but it was something I wanted to bring up since I think people complain about celebrities being involved in pro wrestling way too much. Now, back to your crappy rundown. With that said, can you really call Menounos a celebrity? She isn't very well known and you can probably call her a C-list celebrity. Then again, I know very little about her, so I can totally be off the mark. Menounos is somebody who can't seem to stay away from WWE. This will be her third match with the company and her first WM appearance. Part of the reason I don't care about this match is it has had very little build-up on the program. I seriously think this match has had more build-up on Extra than WWE programming. When the WWE does these celebrity matches, they usually advertise it on the show and gain tons of hype for it, but it almost seems like they don't care about this match. Then again, WWE already got the Rock to compete in a match against John Cena, so that's where they major publicity is coming from. So, I probably should talk about the actual match, but what is there to talk about? Even though Menounos isn't trained for the business, she's already a better wrestler than her partner. This match will feature either Phoenix and Eve selling the hell out of a rollup or something. The only thing I don't want to see happen is Phoenix getting pinned in this match. Phoenix is your champion, so I would think Eve will end up taking the pinfall. I don't think they will have Beth take the pinfall, but I wouldn't put it past them. The match will probably be nothing too special, but it will be over before you know it. Snooki's match from last year was quick and painless, so I expect this to be the same schtick. 

Who should win:

Do I really have to ask this question? It doesn't matter who should win since the celebrity usually gets the victory in these situations. 

Who creative will pick:

….oh…..that was funny. 

My final pick:

I'll go with the girl with the ridiculous last name and the real-life Barbie doll to win this match. The match will probably be weak, but think of it like an adhesive strip. It stings at first, but it will be over before you know it. 

Cody Rhodes vs Big Show; Intercontinental Championship

Want to know an interesting fact? Actually, let's make it a game. When was the last time the IC title was defended at WM? I give you a couple of moments….

Okay, time's up. Do you ever feel like you're back in school? Anyway, the last time the IC title was defended was at WM 25, when it was JBL vs Rey Mysterio. Then again, it was only a 20 seconds match. If you want to be serious, the last time the IC title was defended on the grandest stage was WM 18, between William Regal (REGAL!!!!!!! REGAL!!!!!!…..um, sorry) and RVD. I think what I'm trying to say is the IC title has gotten very little love in the last decade. As far as the storyline goes, it's simply to follow. Cody has gotten very cocky and arrogant. So arrogant that he walks around as a video game character. Mr. Assassin's Creed has been talking about how Show is a choke artist at the big event. Show has never won a solo match at WM and has some of the most embarrassing moments at the grandest stage. This would include memories like fighting a sumo wrestler and getting knocked out by a Mike Tyson wannabe. During that time, Cody has embarrassed the giant while Show continues to grow angry. There are a couple of ways for this match to go. Most people say Cody should win since he should go over somebody as big as the Big Show. At the same time, Cody has been working is way up the WWE ladder. He's getting to the point where he should drop the IC title in order to go for the big prize. I personally would like to see Cody be the IC champion a little longer. Cody can still gain something with it, even though he has been the champ since August. Another reason I say that is I'm not too excited about the idea of Show getting the IC title. What would Show gain from winning the IC title? At this stage of his career, not a whole lot. Other than that, there isn't a whole lot to say about the match. The match quality could be interesting, but you shouldn't expect a five star performance here. Basically, it will come down to how Cody can make the match work against the giant. 

Who should win:

As I already said, I would rather see Cody keep his championship. If they plan to push Cody to the main event right after WM, the title change would be fine. I would still hate the idea of Show getting the IC title, but at least something good can come from it. 

Who creative will pick:

WWE has set up the storyline in which Show needs to overcome his WM handicap, so he could be in-line to end his reverse Undertaker streak. Greatest streak ever!!!

My final pick:

This one can go either way. At the moment, I will say Cody gets the victory, but this will probably be something I get wrong. Then again, I already said my predictions don't mean jack, so let's move on. 

Randy Orton vs Kane

I rivalry that looked like it was thrown together at the last second. To be fair, WWE has given a reason for this rivalry occurring . According to kayfabe, Kane started to show a human emotion last year, in which he shook the hand of Randy. Because of this, Kane has gone back to his roots…..eh, kinda. Kane has raged war with Randy because of this human emotion, and there you have it. Overall, I'm not really interested in this match. I don't think it's bad or poorly put together since the rival can be interesting towards most people, but this is a match that easily gets overlooked with the other WM matches. It can be done well. Both guys know how to make a brutal type of match work, but there is no gimmick with this match. If it was a street fight or a No Holds Barred match, I think it would turn a couple of heads, but it seems like it will be a simple match. That of itself is pretty disappointing. I really don't have anything else to say about this, so I'm moving on. 

Who should win:

Even though Kane is the veteran between the two, I think he needs this match a little more than Randy. Kane has had a pretty rough stretch since showing up in the mask. He lost to Cena and now seems destined to lose this match as well. I think he needs this since it has underplayed the whole mask revival. I guess the monster has been tamed after all those years. Then again, when you have been around as long as Kane as, it seems destined to happen. 

Who creative will pick:

It would not be much of a surprise for the creative staff to be leaning towards Randy in this match. Besides, this can easily be one of those rivalries that is done in one shot. 

My final pick:

I have to pick Randy to win the match. After all, how can you not deny somebody who reminds you who their name is? My name is Randy Orton…….eeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….fear me. 

Team Teddy Long vs Team John Laurinaitis; winner is GM of both Raw and Smackdown

Before I get started, I should at least say who are on the teams. Team Teddy has Santino has captain. Teddy's team is represented by Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Zack Ryder, Great Khali, and the five time, five time, five time, five time, five time, five time, five time, five time, five time, five time, five time, five time…..

Okay, I'll be quite now. Team Johnny has David Otunga as the captain. Is there anything really special with the role of captain? Do you get an paycheck increase? Do you get a three way lined up with the Bella Twins? Actually, that sounds pretty kick ass, but we are really getting off topic. In the realms of kayfabe, let's pretend there is a luxury of being team captain. Johnny's team also has Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger (aka: Biff Tannen), Mark Henry, Miz, and Drew McIntyre. Christian was originally scheduled to compete in this match, but was taken out by CM Punk on Raw this past week. The real reason Christian is no longer in the match most likely has to be Christian not being medically cleared from the previous injury. Amazing how the IWC complained for months that they want Christian to return, but seem to forget that the guy was on the sidelines because of a real injury. Oh, but you read some mumbo jumbo on the internet? Oh, well now it all makes sense. Do you see why I don't rely on the dirt sheets? It's just not reliable reporting at the end of the day. Yeah, there's no such thing as the crest of reliability and……we are REALLY getting off track here. Because of Christian's injury, McIntyre is the replacement. I think Drew being the replacement was an excellent choice. Mainly because it opens up tons of possibilities for WM. Drew has been near the chopping block by Teddy for quite some time. He actually gains his job back, but only because of the help of Johnny. I can actually see a scenario where Drew completely turns on his team in order to help Teddy. You can make the argument that it wouldn't make much sense, but Drew has been due for some type of character change. What better way than to turn him face? At the same time, I keep thinking that Drew is there just because nobody else was available. Alberto Del Rio still hasn't shown up, so he must still be dealing with an injury. So far, this is going to operate like a tag team match. Something about 12 people being involved in a tag match can be sickening. I still have these images of last year's tag team match at WM. Remember how it lasted about 3 minutes? I really hope that they take the time and effort to make this a solid match. I was kinda hoping for an Survivor Series style match, but that could be a little long and some of the talent would look pretty weak if they had to take a pinfall 20 seconds into the match. This can be one of those matches that turns out to be good, but it also has the recipe to be extremely rushed, thus turning into a bad match. As far as the GMs go, I personally want to see Laurinaitis win. Now, before you start a war against me, let me explain this. Laurinaitis may continue to flub up his lines every now and then, but I think he has improved with his position since he took over. There's something about his character that works. Yeah, the guy is uncharismatic and pretty bland, but he makes it work to some degree. Something about the way he shows off his character is stupid, but funny at the same time. Also, there's something about Teddy Long as GM that I don't like. I'm not sure what it is, but it just doesn't sound right. Besides, how can you not laugh to this….

Oh, it' still funny after all these months. And if he leaves, there goes my catchphrase, Roboinaitis. We can't lose that, can we? 

Who should win:

I personally think Johnny's team should win. I know people don't like him, but when was the last time Teddy's character evolved? Seriously, he's been playing the same character for years. I guess I just want to see the robot win. 

Who creative will pick:

That's a tough one. Creative can be leaning towards either of them. 

My final pick:

These types of matches generally do more for the face. This is a tough choice, but I'm going with Team Johnny. This is one I can easily get wrong, but it doesn't matter. 

The Rundown is too large for one sitting. Check back in either Friday or Saturday (depending on how TNA does) for Part II. See you then. 

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw Review 3/26/12 (I rise above and win)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 3/26/12. With only six days till WrestleMania, how will the final week of build-up go? Let's find out and start the review. 

Match #1: Randy Orton and Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan and Kane

We open up with a tag team match. Booker T has joined up with Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler for tonight's Raw. Hey, it's Kane. The guy with a mask over a mask, on top of an another mask, and a mask in his back pocket. Anybody thinking that……I was thinking it. Anyway, King calls Cole a hypocrite for siding with Bryan as of late. Hey, how can you NOT jump on the Daniel Bryan bandwagon when he goes around shouting, "YES"? There was a moment where Kane saved Bryan from getting the RKO. I know he did this to save the match for his team, but did Kane show a human emotion?

Did we just hit a paradox of some kind? Then again, I think we are thinking too hard about this. MOVING ALONG!!! The match was decent, but nothing overly amazing. Still, a pretty good opening contest. The finish comes when Kane and Randy are fighting on the outside of the ring. Kane ends up taking out Randy. In the meantime, Sheamus is setting up for the Brogue Kick, but AJ creates a shield between the Irishman and Mr. Yes Man. The referee eventually pulls AJ away since she's putting herself in danger. Kane gets on the top rope and hits the Chokeslam on Sheamus. Bryan runs over to pick the bones for the victory. This was a match to give some last minute build-up between the two separate rivalries. It isn't done extremely well, but it's passable. They will probably focus more on these rivalries later in the week. These are not some of the most intriguing matches heading into WM, but I think they can be a covered up gem. When I say that, I'm mainly referring to the Bryan/Sheamus match. 

Winner via pinfall: Daniel Bryan and Kane (AKA: The Red Sea)

Match #2: David Otunga vs Santino

There was a Rock/John Cena video package during this spot. In fact, these videos would be running throughout the night. Just a quick reminder on everything that has happened between Rock and Cena. You know, just in case you have been living under a rock for the last year…..it's a small rock…..just a little…..it's tiny……okay, this joke has failed. Cole is in the ring wearing a Team Johnny T-shirt. So, John Laurinaitis has his own T-shirt, but there is no Bryan shirt saying YES? What's going on over there in the T-shirt department? Cole says he has been named the official commentator for Team Johnny. Well, just be happy he wasn't named the mascot. Lord knows we don't want to see Cole in tights….yeesh. Johnny shows up and names Vickie Guerrero as the official flag bearer of Team Johnny. You can't go into a fight without a flag bearer. Seriously, it's in the rules. Check them out sometime. David Otunga comes out and once again starts to flex his muscles. Hey, not too many lawyers look like that, so that has to be worth something. Booker is getting angry while on commentary….or, at least that's what he's trying to do. He lost his train of thought like five different times. Somebody needs to hand Booker a cue card or else we could be here all night. Booker finally announces Teddy Long. Santino also arrives and starts to speed walk in the ring, pinball style. Hornswoggle is also waving the Team Teddy flag. 

Oh, and I probably should talk about the actual match. Yeah, I've been trailing off quite a bit. Probably because you know you are near WM when you see the same matches you saw a week ago. The match was a match. Of course, of course. The finish comes when Otunga starts to wave the Johnny flag in the ring. Hornswoggle gets in the ring to wave the Teddy flag. Otunga takes the Teddy flag because Hornswoggle is covering up his muscles. This allows Santino to hit the Cobra, thus Santino gets the victory. After the match, Johnny gets angry, but ends up walking into a teamwork push by Teddy and Santino. Johnny takes off the jacket. Oh no, anything but the jacket!!! Santino is ready to hit the Cobra on Johnny, but Miz arrives to hit the Skull Crushing Finale on Santino. Johnny announces that Miz is the last member of Team Johnny. Kind of an underwhelming addition to Team Johnny, don't you think? Miz has been losing for weeks and has tried to get on Johnny's team, but now gets added in because……the script said so? It just feels like lazy writing. Regardless, Miz will get to compete at WM. 

Winner via pinfall: Santino

Match #3: Kelly Kelly vs Eve

Beth Phoenix is at ringside for this match. There was a hoeski chant during the match. The finish comes when Eve misses a moonsault….

This allows Kelly to hit her rollup finisher for the victory. Does every Diva match have to end in a rollup? It's getting ridiculous how THIS is considered a finisher in this division. What, can nobody master the technique to get out of this situation? It's okay to do the rollup every once in a while, but I swear you see this every single week. It's getting old. Now that I have said it, my prediction is for Maria whatshername to get the rollup victory at WM. I'm calling it right now. 

Winner via pinfall: Kelly Kelly

Match #4: CM Punk vs Christian

I don't know if anybody saw this, but there was a split second where Punk's music was playing, while Christian's titantron video was still playing. The only time Christian can say he was the best in the world. Oh, that was pretty bad. Before the match gets started, Chris Jericho is on the titantron. Jericho calls Punk a fraud and continues to talk about Punk's family. Jericho brings up Punk's mother. Jericho says Punk's mother is clean and has no problems….but finds out that Punk was born before his parents got married. Jericho calls Punk a bastard child. This allows Christian to attack Punk. I gotta say. How does Jericho find out all this information? Chris Jericho might be the greatest detective ever. It puts Detective L to shame……to shame, I say. Punk eventually regains control of the situation and starts to flip out. Who told Punk about the dark side? He gets Christian and stats banging his head off the announcer's desk. He continues to beat the living hell out of him. He isn't done yet. Punk is setting up for the GTS, but ends up tossing Christian's head off the steel steps. Punk locks in the Anaconda Vice, while screaming how this will be Jericho's fate. Officials arrive to break it up and it seems Punk has finally calmed……WRONG!!! Punk jumps back in and locks in the Anaconda Vice one more time. Punk finally leaves. Christian got the crap kicked out of him. In fact, we would find out later in the night that Christian would be replaced by Drew McIntyre for Team Johnny. Not sure if Christian really injured himself or if it's just kayfabe. With McIntyre being the replacement, this does add a couple of theories that could end up happening at WM. I will save that discussion for the WM Rundown. Yeah, I can be cruel sometimes. 

No Contest

Match #5: Brodus Clay vs Curt Hawkins

I like how the commentators referred to Brodus as a rhino. I guess you can say he's Rambi the Rhino. See what I did there? Brodus hits the Splash and wins the match. It's pretty much the same formula they have been using for Brodus since he started the Funkasaurus gimmick. If they want to make this Brodus thing work, they eventually need to give him a program or a rival…..or anything. Just try something different or new. To be fair, this is WM season and maybe they can do something with him after the big event. 

Winner via pinfall: Brodus Clay

Match #6: Big Show vs Primo

Well, this is a massacre waiting to happen. Show hits the Chokeslam and wins the match. Are you really surprised? That would be like putting Mr. Bill in a fight against the Incredible Hulk. It's not going to end well. After the match, Epico wants to teach this guy a lesson. This is what I would like to call dumbass heel disorder, or DHD as I like to call it. That's when your bad guy does a really stupid thing that will result in him getting killed. What would get accomplished by fighting Big Show? Oh, and he took you out as well. How are you enjoying that injured back? Anyway, Cody Rhodes shows up after the match. He talks about how the term, "Big Show" will mean the definition of something horrible. He talks about how people will say they how they gotta take a Big Show. Oh, that was funny. Give Cody some credit here. I thought this was hilarious. This was a pretty good promo by Cody. In fact, I almost like to consider this his best promo thus far. You gotta admit. Cody has really improved over the last year. He's come a long way from looking like Darkman. 

Winner via pinfall: Big Show

A couple of backstage scenes to go through. The Bellas argue over Team Teddy and Johnny. Zack Ryder shows up and talks about how Brie's face is sick…..or something along those lines. Nikki gets offended since they are twins, so they both leave. Ryder "Big Shows" out yet again….LOLZ. Eve shows up and apologizes for canceling the dinner date from last week. She invites Ryder to her hotel room for WM weekend. Ryder wants to celebrate, but she wants to wait until after WM. Ryder gives off the biggest smile ever. Eve continues to play with his emotions and he just goes along with it. I think Ryder threw away his self-respect a long time ago. Maybe Kane took that away from him? There was a Punk interview. Punk talks about how Jericho has gone too far. Punk says you never talk about the sister or mother. That's true. That's just something you don't do. Punk says he will prove to Jericho that he is the best in the world. I wish I was the best at something…or am I? No, I am not.  Anyway, I'm kinda disappointed that Jericho and Punk didn't do an in-ring confrontation. You could argue that keeping the distance between the two shows how intense and real this rivalry is since Jericho has crossed the line, but it would've been nice to have the option. I'm still very interested in how this match will go. 

Match #7: Great Khali vs Mark Henry

This match lasted about 20 seconds. Damn, that's not even enough time to make a sandwich. Now, I'm disappointed. Henry hits the World's Strongest Slam for the victory. After the match, Johnny tosses Teddy into the ring. Henry is getting ready to punish Teddy while the members of Team Johnny are creating a line of defense. I LOVE DEFENSE!!! The members of Team Teddy start to arrive and try to break through the wall of robots. Kofi Kingston manages to jump into the ring, but springboards into the WSS.  Henry has Teddy set up to hit WSS, but Booker gets in the ring to take care of Henry. After hitting the Scissors Kick on Henry, Teddy thanks him for the save. Teddy would ask Booker if he can be the final member of Team Teddy. Booker accepts and does a spin-a-roonie to celebrate the occasion. Well, Booker on Team Teddy is a bit of a surprise. I was expecting Rey Mysterio or Brodus, but we get Booker instead. I don't have a problem with this move. I would rather have Booker in there than Mick Foley. I know I won't get too many positive comments about that, but I just prefer Booker as a current in-ring competitor than Foley. Booker can still work a decent match while Foley has lost many steps along the way. Oh, and there was a Lord Tensai video package somewhere in the middle of all the madness. They definitely seem to be going with a Japanese/Chinese deal here. I would like to see where this is all headed. 

Winner via pinfall: Mark Henry

Time for the final segment of the night. The Rock comes out and talks about how WM 20 was the last time he competed at WM. He says the people have been asking him when he will compete at WM again. He says he knew the time was right at last year's WM. Rock says the fans made it happen. He also talks about how Rock's last WM match was also Cena's first WM match. Cena went on to become a big star in the WWE, but he has never faced off against somebody like the Rock. John Cena finally arrives and brings up the fact that nobody will ever be like Cena. Cena talks about the mixed reaction he gets from the audience every single week and how nobody can do that. That's right, Rock. Nobody boos me like these people….wait, what? Cena talks about how he will rise above and win the match. He knows people hate him for winning all the damn time (at least he's self aware), but that's what he does and it's those people that know Cena will win this Sunday. Cena has to win at WM because this is his life. Rock says he knows how important it is for Cena to win the match, but this is important for him as well. Rock says in order to become the greatest of all time, he needs to beat Cena at the big event. Cena says otherwise and the show ends with a stare-down between both individuals. 

I admit that I enjoyed this segment, but it was a re-hash of what Rock and Cena have been saying towards one another for over the last year. Not a whole lot of new things were brought to the table and I think they were trying to add genuine hatred between the two and sell the show. In that aspect, I think they did a decent job. Overall, the match has been over-hyped more than Tim Tebow, but I think this will be a very intriguing match. The time for talk is over and now it's time for them to beat the hell out of each other. 

Overall Impression:

This was an episode of Raw where they were playing it safe. The matches were kept pretty short, but are you really surprised? They have WM this Sunday, so why go out there and do something stupid? Better to keep your talent secure for the main show, so I'm okay with that. The build-up to the matches was nothing special. In fact, the two things I enjoyed the most out of this program was Cody's promo and Punk going out of control. Cody shows that his getting better every single week while Punk shows a real type of emotion, which makes his match at WM even more intriguing. Still, this wasn't an amazing Raw to close up most of the WM hype. It was decent and I actually enjoyed certain elements of the show, but I can see why people didn't like tonight's show. There was no Triple H, Undertaker, or Shawn Michaels tonight. Don't understand why people are complaining about this since I'm almost convinced that this complaint is coming from the same people who keep bashing this match. I think they did all the build-up with that WM match on last week's show, so there was no need to do another segment for this week. There was not a whole lot of new things to bring to the table for this week, but I find myself pretty damn excited for WM after tonight's show. Then again, I was already looking forward to the event, so I don't think this show is the selling point to order WM. I would like to think the previous weeks were a bigger selling point for WM. That's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. Also, check out my Top 7 Donkey Kong Country 1 Theme Songs if you haven't already. It's different from what I normally do, but who said I'm just a guy who reviews wrestling stuff? Oh, and I will have the WrestleMania 28 Rundown posted later in the week as well. I'm not sure when it will get released, but it should be released somewhere between Thursday and Saturday. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time. 

Top 7 Donkey Kong Country 1 Theme Songs

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Top 7 Donkey Kong Country 1 (SNES) Theme Songs

Donkey Kong Country for the Super Nintendo. Just saying it sends a whirlwind of memories for most people. There were many great games for the SNES, but I want to talk about the music of the first DKC game. DKC was a game produced by Rare. This is back when Rare actually made good games. Rare has gone through a rough stretch since it was bought out by Microsoft, but that doesn't mean we can't remember the good times. Anyway, DKC was an amazing game. The gameplay and the graphics helped make this game stand out, but what's a great game without a kick-ass soundtrack? DKC featured some of the most memorable tunes to come out of the 16-bit era. That's why I will be doing a Top 7 list of my favorite theme songs from this game. Why Top 7? Well……… I don't know? I was hoping you would. As with everyone countdown/list, my list is going to differ from just about anyone. The beauty of a list is there is NO right or wrong answer. In other words, don't get pissy that your favorite tune isn't in my top list. I'm also only going to be talking about the first DKC game, so please keep that in mind. Without further delay, let's begin. It's on like…..Donkey Kong? Yeah, I got nothing. 

#7: DK Island Swing/Jungle Groove

Oh yeah. We are starting off with the theme you hear in the first level of the game. You can go into a cave and check out your banana hoard. Oh, so we already found it? Well, that was easy. Time to kick back and enjoy a banana smoothie and…..

Dammit, Rare. They trolled you and we aren't even one minute into the game. We can sit back and laugh about it today, but that was a kick in the balls. The music fits the area as you're swinging around from vine to vine, while you rumble through the stage with Rambi, Expresso, or Winky. Speaking of which, what ever happened to Expresso and Winky? They never appeared in another game after DKC 1. Are they in the witness protection program? It would be nice to see them get a comeback in the later games since Rambi is practically in ever Donkey Kong game. Anyway, the second you heard this tune, you knew you were going to be in for something special. We can gush over this scene a little more, but we still have six other tracks to look at. 

#6: Forest Frenzy

Something about this tune is relaxing, but it can be a bit irritating. Mainly because of what you encounter when you hear this music. It probably has to do with falling in a pit of disaster if you missed a jump or getting hit by vulture eggs. You would think the Kremlings would be Donkey and Diddy's greatest enemy, but I think you get hit by the eggs most of the time. That's right. The giant, mutant alligators are no problem, but don't mess with the eggs. Nobody f***s with the eggs. Something tells me Yoshi would do wonders in this world. Despite the fact that you are being attacked by an omelet, at least you have some soothing music to jam out to. 

#5: The Credits Concerto

The final piece of music you hear once you complete the game. It's so satisfy to be sitting back after completing this epic quest. You get an enemy rundown on the creatures you fought on this journey. Some of the names contained bad puns, but that's what makes it awesome? It's funny how the enemy rundown is occurring in DK's house. You would think DK would mind that his rivals are running around in his house, but it doesn't seem to bother him. I would be like, "Get the hell out of my house". I always liked how Cranky Kong kept trying to steal the spotlight during this bit. I wish I could beat this game in under an hour and using only one life. Cranky's a boss. It was also hilarious to see DK and Diddy beat each other up at the end of the game. Even being DK's nephew, it doesn't get him any special treatment with his uncle. Anyway, the Credits Concerto is very rewarding after a job well done……despite Cranky not being impressed. He's never impressed. 

#4: Fear Factory

Damn, this is one catchy tune. You can literally bop your head to this song. I always enjoyed these levels since I felt the scenery was fitting. Then again, the game featured some really detailed artwork for 16-bit standards, but I always liked the artwork with the factory setting. I don't really know why I like it, but something about it was well done. I felt with the combination of this artwork and the music, I think it really makes it stand out. Of course, there was some frustrating aspects with this tune. Probably one of the most exasperating levels had to be Blackout Basement. Better known as the level that turns the lights on and off. Who in the world keeps flipping that switch? I always wondered that. If I had to guess, it was Cranky, but you never find out who's doing it. It totally sounds like something he would do. The levels can be a challenge, but at least you have something cool to listen to while you make you way through some well-timed jumps. 

#3: Aquatic Ambiance

You can almost hear the nostalgia with this song. Most people remember this as the tune you hear in the underwater levels. I like how Nintendo logic comes into play since you have monkeys with the ability to breath underwater. So, monkeys can breath underwater, but speedy hedgehogs will drown? What's even more baffling is hedgehogs can breath in space. Okay, we are really getting off track here. I found this to be a very relaxing tune. You can almost fall asleep to this music since it's so mellow. I find this particular score to match well with the underwater feel, so grab Enguarde and have some fun exploring the sea…..pond….lake……ocean? You get the point. 

#2: Gang Plank Galleon

Oh, I bet many of you are not happy with me. You're probably screaming, "How is this not #1?". Believe me, it's a surprise in my book as well. I love this song, but there was one other tune I liked just a little more. I can't take away how amazing this tune is. It starts off innocent, but then the tempo rises as you're in a dueling match against a psychotic alligator. It was more than satisfying once you defeated King K. Rool. Well, time to drop the controller and watch the Kredits. These are some strange credits. Everything starts with the letter "K". Not only that, but all the Kredits consisted of enemies you fought throughout the game. As you…..What was that? Why did the screen brighten up? Why is K. Rool back up? Pick up the controller and……NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Be honest. How many of you fell for the fake credits? I'm not ashamed to admit that I felt for this trap when I was a kid. I guess that's why I NEVER put down the controller over the ending credits. Thanks Rare for keeping gamers on their toes. I think it was this Nelson Muntz moment that an already great game even better. Back when Rare used to be good, they use to add creative things like this all the time. Of course, later work like Banjo-Kazooie and Conker's Bad Fur Day really showed it off, but you gotta remember back when Rare had a Simian family and mutated frogs to make their inspiration. One of the best final boss themes in video game history. 

At the end of the day, there can only be one. Time to reveal who is #1. 

#1: Life in the Mines

My personal favorite tune from DKC1. I like how it starts off. You can hear the raindrops as you explore these underground caverns. You make your way through some tricky platforming as you try to find your way out of the cave. The music starts to get a little more optimistic as you can see the goal in sight. Still, all those fuel barrels, missed jumps, and Krushas are getting too tough to handle. The music once again speeds up, but it still remains in that calm movement from before. That's when you realize that you can beat this. You have gained bravery and courage along your adventure and you can make your way out of here. I know that seems a little silly, but that's how I felt when hearing this music. This music was given a very appropriate title, since I think it fits the atmosphere and setting. As much as I like Gang Plank Galleon, Life in the Mines always gives me a sense of hope. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day, this song can really bring me back to reality. Almost as if the song is telling me, "Things are going to be all right". It really helped because this tune had two of the most difficult levels of the game, Tanked Up Trouble and Platform Perils. I died so many times trying to get to the goal. The game was making me upset and sad, but the music would give me that boost to keep on trying. Once you leave the cave, you reflect back on what you went through. Sure, you went through hell. And some of you probably tossed the controller to the ground, but you will never forget the experience and music. It's music like this that really makes you appreciate the world of video games. 

That does it for the Top 7 DKC1 musical tracks. I hope you enjoyed it. I admit that this decision kinda came out of nowhere, but I do want to talk about other things besides wrestling. Overall, I think DKC is one of the best games made for the SNES and I recommend you got out of your way and add this game to your collection. If you have a Nintendo Wii, get it off the Virtual Console. If you want to be authentic, go get yourself a Super Nintendo and a DKC cartridge and just slap that in there. I'm sure you will have a great time. Hmm…it makes me wondering what I will discuss the next time I step outside the squared circle….

…..See you next time.