Thursday, April 4, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE WrestleMania 29 Rundown Part I

It's now time to bring back a concept I haven't done in over a year….sort of. I don't plan to bring this concept back all the time, but I figure why the hell not since this is WrestleMania time. To those of you new to the page, what the Rundown consists of is me talking about every match on the card. I will then break it down into who should win, who creative will pick, and then I throw my own prediction on the match. As with WrestlingNerd tradition, I don't care if I get my picks right or wrong and are mostly just thrown in for fun. Without further delay, let's begin. 

Wade Barrett vs Miz; IC Title match

And we open up the rundown with the most exciting match on the card. I'll tell you what. You have to be blind to not think of this as the true main event of the show. This will be the grrrrrrreeeatest match of all time….

This seriously might be the laziest storyline WWE has put together for WM 29. Since winning the IC title, Wade's stock has plummeted faster than a skydiver jumping off a plane with a cinderblock attached to his ankle. It really has become apparent that the IC title is a meaningless prop. I love how they mention all the Hall of Famers who have held this championship. Almost as if they want it to remain important. You know how you make this belt mean something? Gee, how about some freakin' effort? Naw, why do that when we can not give a s***? The Miz is in the same boat as Wade. His stock is nowhere and has become Mr. Pre-show. I honestly think if you look back at all the pre-show matches within the last year, Miz has been featured in most of those matches. I know there's always a chance they will start making this belt mean something, but I don't think it will happen anytime soon. 

Who should win?

Who creative will pick?
They will throw a dart against a wall to determine who wins this match. Either that or throw a rubber chicken against a wall. That sounds more productive than the build to this match.

My final pick:
Do I really have to choose? I almost feel bad that I have to pick somebody. I'll go with Wade, but who freakin' cares? The fact that it's on the pre-show should be a test to how this match shouldn't exist. 

Tons of Funk and Funkadactyls vs Rhodes Scholars and Bella Twins

I actually wish Dr. Eggman had something to do with this match. It would actually be meaningful if that was the case. This is another match that has no business being around. In fact, I'm not gonna waste my time. I pick the fat guys with the hot chicks to win. Why? I don't know. I QUIT!!!

Chris Jericho vs Fandango

Kind of a bizarre match to be featured on WM, but this is surprisingly one of the few matches that actually has proper build-up. I've been outspoken about the Fandango character. Most people have thought of me as being harsh on the character. I want to get this out of the way before I end up getting more raging comments. If you like the character, there's nothing wrong with that. You see something out of the character that I personally don't see. I will admit that I haven't seen much of Johnny Curtis to really know if he will go anywhere, but I also wasn't impressed with the early part of his career. I found his in-ring ability to be okay, but so okay that it doesn't warrant attention. I also found his look to be very generic since there's so many people in the wrestling business who have the same look. With all that said, that's not the main reason I don't have hope for this character. Based on WWE's track record with these goofy/ridiculous characters, they don't tend to go very far in their careers. Most just end up turning into flops and nobody ever remembers them. There are some that have had decent careers like mid-card and tag championships, but they very rarely go any further than that. I would say some of the more successful ones would be guys like Goldust, Honky Tonk Man, and Santino. I know I just pissed off the entire IWC with that Santino mention, but he's had three more mid-card titles than most, so I would consider that a successful career for a comedy character. I honestly would like to see WWE prove me wrong with this character and maybe he really can become something. It's certainly possibly, but I think it's another one of those gimmick wrestlers that ultimately bombs. I like Jericho's role at this stage of his career. He has done everything imaginable in his career and is now helping out the younger talent. Not many people with the credentials that Jericho has would even consider doing such a thing, so I think that deserves a mention. 

Who should win?
If you what Fandango to go somewhere, he has to win.

Who creative will pick?
Creative tends to go both ways in these situations. Sometimes they will give the young gun some love, but also want to give the victory to the veteran. Right now, they are in the process of a three-hour coin flip to determine who wins this one. 

My final pick:
I think Fandango will win the match and nobody will remember him a year from now. I would like to be proven wrong. 

Team Hell No vs Dolph Ziggler and Big E; WWE Tag Championships

I am the tag team champions! Sigh, I miss those days. I rivalry that was put together because of a chick who's bat s*** insane. I also think it was put together since WWE really wasn't sure what to do with all of these guys. There was a point where they were hinting a break up between Kane and Daniel Bryan, but that quickly got squashed and we are now getting this. It just seems rather odd that this would happen, but no matter. I really don't have much to say about this match. It doesn't really interest me, but I don't exactly hate it. Part of me wants to see the match, but not really. I like the people involved with this match, but feel they should be doing something else. Yeah, I think it's clear I have some mixed feelings on this whole thing. 

Who should win?
Team Hell No has been one of my favorite storylines to watch play out. While I enjoy the pairing of Bryan and Kane, we are reaching the point for them to drop the belts and eventually go their separate ways. With that said, I don't think Dolph and Big E are exactly the suitable replacements.  I personally think Team Hell No should win this match. 

Who creative will pick?
There is a rumor floating around that Kaitlyn and AJ will be thrown into this match to put both titles on the line. Now, I try not to make much of online rumors since I find dirt reporting to be pointless; since a good chunk of the reports are rumors brought about by people who have way too much free time on their hands. At the same time, this sounds like something WWE would do due to time constraints. If this is something that could come true, let me just say that I don't like the idea. You already have one mixed tag match for the biggest PPV of the year. Do you really need two? It's possible the introduction of the ladies will effect who ends up winning this match. This was something I wanted to address before somebody brought it to my attention. I'm generally aware of a lot of the online rumors. I just don't like to talk about them. 

My final pick:
Since I can't really see Dolph and Big E holding the tag titles, I will say Team Hell No wins the match. This is one I definitely could get wrong, but it isn't like it matters. Remember, I don't give a s*** about my predictions. 

Ryback vs Mark Henry

I know the IWC tends to s*** all over these type of matches because they're aren't 'wrestling', but sometimes you just have to enjoy things for what they are. This is two big guys who should beat the crap out of each other. This is mostly gonna be a power showcase rather than a wrestling match. The build to the match has been done decently and I'm looking forward to it. I just hope we get something cool and not something along the lines of a Brock Lesnar vs Goldberg match……

Who should win?
This is an easy one. Ryback needs this win a lot more than Henry. Ryback has regressed because of the Shield and all the injuries in WWE, but now is the chance to get him back on track. Plus, it's a little ridiculous that Ryback still hasn't had that big PPV victory. The curse ends this Sunday.

Who creative will pick?
I have a hard time thinking creative will give this one to Henry. Ridin' high on 'Feed me more'. 

My final pick:
I have to go with Ryback for this match. It would be a shock to see Henry win this match, but I'm still leaning towards Ryback for this one. 

The rundown is too big to fit in one page. Check back in either tomorrow or Saturday for the Part II Finale. Tell me what YOU think will end up happening for WM 29. See you in the next one. 


  1. Only three hours for a coin flip? Shoot, I figured Vince would add an extra hour just for the heck of it.

    1. Vince wouldn't do that, he'd come in after the coin flip complain about the outcome and demand they rewrite it all at the last minute and use a twitter poll to determine who should win. And then he'd complain about the fans choosing the wrong wrestler and force more rewrites.

  2. IC title is on the preshow and Tons of funk are on the PPV...
    You do have to feel sorry for Barrett and Miz, after doing a reasonable job of building the out of nowhere fued they get rewarded on the biggest show of the year by not really being on it. I guess I'll go with Barrett retaining since he'd get slightly more out of the title than the Miz would at the moment.

    Rhodes Scholars have not recovered from their 2 day split and since they actually seem to be building up Tons of Funk as a credible tag team I'm going with them for the win.

    As a Fandango fan I plan to enjoy him for as long as he is around, which will probably be as long as Vince has an interest in him which could be another 6 months or another 6 hours. So since Vince likes him at the moment and it probably makes the most sense I'm going with a win for Fandango in what I think could be one of the better matches of the night.

    I really do think that Dolph Ziggler will be leaving Wrestlemania a champion, and as to which title he walks out with depends on match order. If this match goes on before the world title match then Hell No win and he cashes in the MITB later, if it's after the world title then Big E Ziggy win the tag titles.

    Any other result than Ryback winning would make about as much sense as making David Arquette the World champ... again
    It'll be interesting to see if Ryback can get Henry up for the shellshock though, I still remember him failing to get Tensai up plus I've seen him fail to get Paul Heyman up for it on vid a fan took at a live show, but if he can get him up for it we'll have quite the highlight for Wrestlemania