What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 4/18/13. What? Two Impact reviews in as many weeks? What sorcery is this?
King of Shenanigans
I don't know about you, but Garett Bischoff isn't a convincing bad guy. He looks way too much like a babyface, which is why I have a hard time believing him to be apart of this stable….
One of these things is not like the other…..
Anyway, Card Games utilizes the power of wrestling logic to win another match. Referees can either be the smartest or dumbest characters in the wrestling world. The match was okay, but the ending was about as predictable as you're gonna get. I understand they have to interfere in every match, but Aces & Eights manages to make the heel formula feel even more repetitive. I didn't even think that was possible. After the Kurt Angle raping, Mr. Anderson continues to make me sad. It's almost unbearable to watch this man cut promos these days. He used to put art and craft into his work, but listen to this? He's putting no effort into his craft anymore. I know I've talked about Anderson's character in the past, but I almost can't help myself and remind you of what he used to do when he cared. Oh, what a mess.
That's what I imagine happens every time Petey Williams does the Canadian Destroyer. Still, I would be lying if I didn't think it was cool. Oh, and TNA introduced the X Cam. The referee wears this stupid hat with a camera on it. I'm glad they didn't show the whole match like this. If that was the case, there would've been more of a reason to pick up some ibuprofen. While the X Cam is interesting, you better hope you are getting a bonus if you're having to wear that thing. Why do I get the feeling that TNA won't be paying attention and you end up witnessing the ref taking a piss or talking about the script? It's just a funny image I picture. Kenny retains his champion due to careful timing. I know I'm gonna get a lot of crap for this, but I honestly don't see the appeal with Kenny King. Sure, the man can wrestle, but that's all he can do. He has the personality of a washcloth and the mic skills of a mime. Whenever I see this guy, I'm instantly reminded of Shelton Benjamin. Shelton was that guy who was very talented in the ring, but offered nothing else to the table. I'm know I'm really touching a nerve when I speak so negatively about these guys, but it takes more than wrestling ability to make yourself stand out from the generic pack. Yeah, this article isn't gonna make me popular at the end of the day, but those are just my honest feelings. If you like Kenny King, that's cool. It certainly doesn't bother me.
Why are we talking about this? Because it's a slow day
I love how Brooke Hogan is talking about how Tessmacher and Mickie James have impressed her as of late. Yeah, those 2-3 matches in four months can really go a long way. So, I guess we have a #1 Contender match for the KO Title. Mickie is able to secure the victory in a bad match. This whole match was women arguing and complaining. I guess TNA found a winning formula. Mickie ends up getting the victory. Mickie cut a promo after the match talking about how she's tired of being overlooked or something like that? I don't know. I really wasn't paying attention.
TNA's Totally inVisible Title
Knox probably just gave the most telegraphed attack ever. I could've sworn that punch was at lightening speed. Sonic the Hedgehog couldn't even see that s***. Look at it go!!! I love this logic here. Aces & Eights basically kills Magnus, but one Samoan is enough to make a group of bikers run away from a fight. Well, the reasoning for this was to book Samoa Joe vs Devon for later tonight. Might as well get that match out of the way. Joe and Devon match was short. Shenanigans lead to Devon retaining the worthless championship. Aces & Eights continues to get repetitive and I feel that's gonna keep happening until Slammiversary or Bound for Glory. I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do if this goes until October. I should also mention that the biggest bullies in this show pretty much resorted to grade-school tactics on Joseph Park. I'm fact, I'm a little disappointed. Why didn't they stuff him in a locker or give him a wedgie? Yeah, these Aces & Eights are bad-ass! If you don't watch out, they may just take your milk money! Ohhhhh noooooo!!!
Somebody put effort? Whaaaaaaaa….?
I can always rely on Bad Influence to present that glazed ham on a weekly basis. They talk about Morgan Freeman being asked to play Dixie Carter in the Bad Influence movie. I kinda want to see that movie. It would be better than half the garbage Hollywood throws out there. The competitive banter between Bad Influence and Greatest Factor was also pretty entertaining. Hey, I can at least appreciate somebody going out there to put on a good show. Kinda funny how Team Nacho Libre ended up ruining this segment with their bag of cliches. Greatest Factor gets their rematch next week. I like both of these tag teams, but they literally are showing the same tag matches every week. To be fair, WWE is going the same thing too. Somethings' gotta change in the tag team world.
AJ Styles didn't really seem interested in fighting, but that changed with James Storm literally brought the fight to him. Styles wins this match with a submission hold. He takes out Kaz and Daniels, but leaves when Card Games attacks Storm and Bad Influence. It continues to add mystery to where Styles' allegiance lies. While it's interesting, we kinda have been asking that question for over a month. They're literally doing nothing new at the moment and are almost waiting until the PPV. Bully calling out Hogan is the main selling point for next week? Yeah, like we haven't see that before. Bully Ray plays a great leader and heel. I really enjoy what he brings to the table, but I can't say the same for his goons.
There was only a few moments of the show that I really liked. The tag team promo between Bad Influence and Greatest Factor (It's a much better name than Dirty Heels) was pretty entertaining. Bad Influence is a fun pairing that I've been enjoying for some time. In fact, their charisma was about the only positive from the Claire Lynch fiasco. The other thing I liked was Styles' transition, but I'll admit that it's the same as before. I like where this could lead to, but it does feel like a rip-off of the Sting/crashing the NWO party back in the WCW days. I almost find it exhausting these days to watch another Aces & Eights segment. It isn't the worst idea I've seen, but something about it has really made it overstay its welcome. There are some things going on in TNA that I enjoying watching, but I'm not enjoying it as a whole. I want to put that out there since TNA fans tend to think I'm just here to bash TNA. I really want to like this show and want to say more positive things about it, but I would be lying if I said I enjoyed everything I saw tonight. I always tell people to not take any of my reviews seriously. I sure as hell don't. Speaking of which, tell me what you thought of my stupid review and ramblings. See you guys and girls in the next one.