What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 5/6/13. Let's just dive into this and begin.
Cena's attempt at going viral
What is Cena's fetish with Betty White? He mentions her all the time. The man sounds confused. Ryback vs John Cena in a Whine-Off match. Or as I like to call it, the IWC match. BA-ZING!!! I'll admit that Cena's Ryback impression was pretty funny, but he stretched it out longer than he needed to. What this opening tells us is Cena will compete at ER and it will be a Last Man Standing match. Either Cena wins or maybe duct tape takes its revenge out on Cena. Looks like Cena better say his prayers and take his Flintstones vitamins. Come here, Ryback's hungry!!!
Snakes in a Ring
Highlight of the night goes to Damien Sandow's song. The lyrics were a nice touch. It was the first time I had seen personality shine through in that song. After the Vintage Orton, Randy hits an RKO for the victory. Orton has defeated both members of Rhodes Scholars in two weeks. Yeah…..that's exciting. It's about as exciting as Randy's rivalry with Big Show. Randy really needs to turn heel. I think a change of a pace for him would be a good thing. And I can also use a break from Orton's 'good guy' routine.
It finally occurred to me. Fandango's pronunciation of his name is very similar to Dragonball Z when Goku's charging up his Kamehameha. I can't be the only one who thought this. Chris Jericho and Tons of Cholesterol gave Fandango a '0'. Finally, the moment you have been waiting for. Chris Jericho vs Fandango in a dance-off…..ohhohhhhohhhhohhhh. It was almost inevitable for this to happen based on Jericho's track record. As long as it's entertaining to some degree, I don't really care if they do this segment. If it turns into a train wreck, we'll talk about that next week…..sigh.
We The Ladders
While Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler are beating the crap out of each other, Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter decide to do commentary. The match ends in a no contest because….Hell, you need a reason? After the match, Swagger takes out Del Rio and Dolph with a ladder. Swagger mad!!! Swagger smash!!! GRRR!!! That was pretty much all the build you got for the WHC match this week. They did a lot of build last week and I thought they did a decent job to follow it up. Still, there are times where I feel they could do a lot more with the scene, especially Swagger. I guess it isn't gonna matter after ER. Swagger will probably dance his way into a US Championship since I see Dolph/Del Rio playing out for another 1-2 months. Hey, at least it would fit his whole 'We the People' deal?
Can't go a week without that filler
Khali used to be a police officer in India? Yeah, back when he had kneecaps. Apparently, he's gonna track down Kaitlyn's crush. If it isn't Hornswoggle, it will probably be some NXT guy who gets a silly gimmick. I don't know what to make of that. After the Shield raped the Usos and Kofi Kingston, Antonio squashes Zack Ryder. Hey, looks like Ryder's getting that television time he's been pleading for. Gotta start somewhere, right? After the match, Antonio claims that nobody in the WWE can defeat him….Except for the guy who kicked his ass on Main Event last week. Yeah, kinda forgot to mention that. Damn that short-term memory. Antonio Cesaro is the guy with the look and skills to make it further in the industry, but I just find his character boring. He never has anything interesting to say and I feel his charisma is being sheltered since he's having to play this Antonio character. I feel he can bring so much more to the table if they would just let him go out there and be himself and not this yodeling jackass. Hey, just my honest two cents.
Not the TV!!!
Triple H became a man in the middle of the ring? I don't think I want to watch this anymore. We get a video of Brock Lesnar destroying Triple H's office. This is what I like to call 'Staged Shots'. This is where the wrestling industry makes it look like it's real life stuff by mentioning a real name, but it just has that 'lights, camera, action' feel to it. I'll admit it's clever and it was pretty funny at times, but it's missing something. It makes Trips raiding Randy Orton's home seem so much more. Still, this was pretty entertaining. Pauly talks about Brock unleashing the beast to destroy Trips while Triple H says he's ready for the war. While I'm not very intrigued with the rematch, I can at least give them credit for trying to hype it up. They really have done a good job in building up these matches. That's definitely a good thing.
That's what I do!!!
Just as Mark Henry and Sheamus are about to fight, Wade Barrett comes out since it was originally scheduled to be Sheamus/Barrett tonight. I wouldn't be surprised if Wade had to pay money in order to appear on Raw tonight. That IC Championship really is the curse of the WWE. After Sheamus kicks Barrett's head off, Henry attacks by whipping Sheamus with a belt. Whipping people…..cuz that's what he does. It's interesting how that's become his catchphrase. It's kinda sad this isn't taking off as well as 'Ryback Rules'. The creative staff spent a whole week on that line. Sheamus and Henry will face each other at Extreme Rules. The winner of the match gets a jar of pennies. You laugh, but that jar of pennies holds more value than a mid-card championship. No joke.
Since Ryback defeated Daniel Bryan last week, Kane wants to avenge his friend….
Maybe I'm being too harsh on this 'Ryback Rules' catchphrase, but it reminds me of Billy Madison with the ''O'Doyle Rules' guy. I just can't take this line seriously. Ryback beats Kane with the Shell Shock. After the match, Shield comes out t----are you kidding me? Is that the formula now? Every time Ryback and/or Cena have a match, have the Shield come out? Is that really the master plan? I'm sorry, but it's getting a little old. Ryback leaves the fight and lets Kane deal with them. Bryan and Cena come out to even the odds….I think. Kane kinda just rolled out of the ring during all of this. Where did he go? I really want to know where Kane disappeared to after this? That was probably the biggest question out of this scene. Ryback jumps in the ring with a steel chair and they manage to take out Shield….sort of. Ryback finally kills Cena with a steel chair to end of show. I guess Ryback rules this evening…..Yeah, I got nothing. As far as LMS match goes, it seems like an interesting idea. I'm not loving the idea, but I don't completely hate it.
This show fell into the average territory. There wasn't anything overly amazing about it, but I wouldn't call it a bad show. It just falls right around the middle. Seems that's been happening a lot with these three hour shows. I'm not sure if I have given my full thoughts on three hour Raws, but I honestly think they need to go back to two hours. It shouldn't feel draining or tiring to watch a television show. TV is a time to kick back and enjoy, but something's wrong if it feels exhausting to watch a show. I still want to watch the show on a weekly basis, but I think WWE is biting off more than they can chew with these three hour shows. Most of the time, they do nothing with that extra hour except recap stuff that happened earlier in the night. How is that a good use of time? If they used the extra hour to flesh out the storylines further, I would have no problems with three hour Raws, but that has not been the case since WWE made the move back in July 2012. Well, I better wrap this up. Tell me what you thought of the review or tonight's show and I will see you guys and girls in the next one.