Tuesday, May 14, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw 5/13/13 Review (WWE App!!! WWE App!!! WWE App!!!)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Raw 5/13/13. How does the 'go-home' episode of Raw go? Let's find out and start the review. 

Dancing with Bears
I love how King is overly impressed with Fandango's WM performance. Yeah, Fandango did the impossible of getting a rollup victory on somebody. I never would've imagined that. The King wants the audience to judge fairly and not make it a popularity contest. The WWE is nothing more than a popularity contest, so what the hell do you expect? I just find that line hilarious and silly at the same time. After Fandango charges up his attack and Jericho spews catchphrases, the dance-off finally begins. Fandango's dance partner falls to the ground within seconds. I'm guess WWE doesn't pay her enough to contribute to this 'amazing' scene, so she's sticking it to the man by doing nothing. After people show concern for her, Fandango uses this opportunity to attack Jericho from behind. After the attack, it's revealed that Summer Raye was completely fine and was faking it the whole time. Something tells me that isn't the first time she's faked something, but let's move on. Despite how it sounds, I actually enjoyed this segment. It was hammy, but that's what makes it entertaining. The build between Jericho/Fandango has been simply, but its been done pretty well. Proves how you don't need to over complicate things in order to make them interesting.

Your filler paragraph for the evening
PTP defeated Tons of Weight because of a comb…..a f***in' comb. I wish I was making this up, but this is the sad truth. What is this? Home Alone? Kofi Kingston defeated Damien Sandow in a short match. The real kicker with this match is the announcement of Kofi vs Dean Ambrose for the US Championship at ER. I'm starting to think Kofi only won the championship to shine it up for Dean. If that's the case, it wouldn't be the first time something like this has happened. I thought it would've been interesting to have Ambrose take the championship off of Cesaro since it shows Shield targeting everybody and not the usual 'face vs heel' formula. It also could've given Antonio something to do, but that's just my idea. Hey, at least it would stir the pot up a bit. Randy Orton defeated Antonio Cesaro with the RKO. Yeah, I'm so glad Antonio talked about how nobody can stop him. That's a good character development. There was a few other matches, but nothing worth talking about. What? Do you really want me to analyze Ryback/Ryder or AJ/Natalya? Seriously, you gotta lighten up. 

Plan B: Sponsored by the WWE APP!!! YOU MUST DOWNLOAD IT TODAY!!!
Due to Dolph Ziggler receiving a concussion, he won't be competing at Extreme Rules. This forces WWE to make a change with the WHC picture. Instead of a triple threat ladder match, we get an 'I Quit' match between Alberto Del Rio and Jack Swagger. The winner of the match will be the #1 Contender to the WHC. Yeah, I'm a bit disappointed with Plan B, but I can't harp on them too much since they're against a wall in this situation. Still, I think they could do better than an 'I Quit' match. Not sure what type of match I would want to see, but I know there are better gimmicks available. To be fair, there's always a chance this match could impress, but it just doesn't feel right.To fill the void, Big E will either go up against Del Rio or Swagger via the WWE App. Have you downloaded today? Pick up this extreme device as you watch pointless interviews. See the world blow before your eyes as you hear talking! Witness how amazing it is to vote! For God sakes, how much more product pushing can you force? Seriously, you're three advertisements away from reaching Michael Bay territory. Oh, what a mess. Swagger wins the poll since the audience wanted to see Swagger get punished by Blackzilla. You can tell WWE wasn't really prepared for Swagger/Big E since it ended in a countout. It literally looked like both guys talked about the ending during the match. After the awkward finish, Del Rio shows up and takes out both guys to stand tall. There really isn't much to say since we've talked about Swagger/Del Rio in the past. It's amazing how Swagger's stock dropped when Zeb Coulter got less racist. Coincidence? I highly doubt it. 

Did he say 'strap on' or 'strap-on'?
Mark Henry and Sheamus will compete in a strap match. If you aren't familiar with a strap match, it's very similar to a bull rope match. The only difference is instead of a bull rope, you use whatever is left of your dignity. You touch all four corners of the posts without being interrupted. If your opponent stops you, you have to start the process all over again. I don't know about you, but a strap/bull rope match is more predictable than a John Cena match. Every bull rope match I've seen has ended with one guy touching all the corners while the guy touches them from behind. They both have three corners touched until the climax finally caves for one guy to get that final corner. In fact, I expect Henry to drag Sheamus for a bit while that silly Irishman will start touching the post while he isn't looking. Don't be shocked if this is what happens at ER. That's my prediction and I'm sticking with it. 

WWE Championship picture
This was a pretty entertaining elimination match. Shield took out Team Hell No and despite this, Cena almost manages to pull off the victory. I'm surprised WWE didn't have Cena just beat Shield by just staring at all of them while flying around the arena. It's down to Cena and Ambrose until the rest of Shield attacks to cause a DQ. WWE had to make Cena look like Superman and needed to keep the Shield strong, so I guess this is the best way to go. I know people will argue that it's a cop-out, but what do you expect for free television? After the match, Ryback attacks Cena with a steel chair, thus building up Cena's injury. It wouldn't surprise me if Cena did get banged up overseas, but I think WWE is playing it up more than usual to give Ryback some ammo for Sunday. O'Ryback Rules!!!

Brock and Trips
Triple H and Brock Lesnar had some very basic buildup. It wasn't anything amazing, but it at least tries to get you into the match. They are building this as the final confrontation. I really hope they live up to that build. Since I haven't been blown away by the first two matches, I hope there's something in this match that really pulls me in. I know I'm in the minority when I wasn't impressed with their match at WM 29, but that's just the way I see it. One thing for certain is I will never say anything bad about the build for this rivalry. While I may not be big on the matches, they have done a great job in making them intriguing.  

Overall Impression:
This is about what I expected in a 'go-home' episode of Raw. While the action was very lacking in tonight's show, I'm usually willing to forgive it because the Raw on the week of a PPV usually doesn't contain a lot of action since they're protecting the wrestlers. The only match I found enjoyable was the elimination match. I honesty think you can miss everything else and be fine. The show is mostly 'okay' and that's that. There was a lot of announcements regarding Extreme Rules. There were several matches announced for the show. How does the PPV look going in? Well….That's a bit tricky. There are a few matches worth checking out since it will be interesting to see if Shield will take two championships or if Ryback will truly rule, but I'm also not fully in-love with the card. The PPV does have potential to be something, but it can also flop. I really hope that isn't the case, but we will have to wait until Sunday to find out. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. See you guys and girls in the next one. 

1 comment:

  1. So, WWE has Dean Ambrose challenging Kofi Kingston for the US Title, but yet, they didn't bother putting Kingston in the six-man elimination tag match instead of Cena.

    I tell ya, WWE's booking makes you scratch your head sometimes.