Friday, May 10, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling 5/9/13 Review (Monster's Week)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 5/9/13. What's going on in TNA Land? Let's find out and begin. 

Sting gets another world title match at Slammiversary?
We open up the show with Kurt Angle and the #1 Contender to the TNA World Title, Sting. Sigh…..Okay, this is something I need to talk about right off the bat since I've missed the last couple of TNA reviews. In last week's show, Sting defeated Matt Morgan to become the #1 Contender to the world title yet again. It's amazing how many times Sting has had world title match at Slammiversary. They should just call it "Stinger's Night'. It's getting very old. Not only that, but he finds himself in the main event again. Sting really needs to either consider retiring or just being a part-time performer. I know some will argue that he's technically part-time, but it's really hard for me to buy that argument when the man competes in more matches than he really should. Sting definitely has the ambition for this company and there's certainly nothing wrong with that, but he should be more in a role where he mostly helps TNA behind the scenes and have a wrestling schedule similar to Triple H and Undertaker. Sting can offer a ton of leadership with the younger talent behind the scenes, but that's just the way I see it. Plus, it gets very redundant to see this being TNA's answer for anything. Oh geeze, we need somebody to fill in for the top bill in one of our PPVs. What should we do? Hey, let's use Sting since we have done that five-million times in the past. Genius!!!

Meanwhile, at the Counsel of Elders, Sting and Kurt try to recruit AJ Styles to be on their team. Yeah, pissing off your potential partner isn't the best way to lure him towards your side. Since it seems TNA isn't exactly sure what to do with Styles, he just walks away and we still get no answers as to where Styles' allegiance lies. During all the arguing, Bully Ray and Devon hit the 3D on Sting. I love how Mike Tenay is completely freaking out over the fact Sting got hit with the 3D. You think he would have other things on his mind, but Sting getting hit by a 3D for the first time warrants a surprise for him. Styles leaves the arena in disgust, but I honest think he left the production. I'm going home…..F*** this show….

Knockout/Fanservice time
I love how the commentators explain the origins of Velvet winning the title in February. I can't even remember what happened in the KO division last week. And you want me to remember something that happened in this division in February? Your expectations are too high. Velvet wins the match for her team. Instead of foreshadowing that Mickie James heel turn (Which has been on and off for months…..Just do it already. What the hell are you waiting for?), they have Gail and Tara fight. Why? What's the purpose of this? While I command TNA for doing other things with the KOs besides the championship, I feel they are cramming in too much with this division. You have the KO championship, you have Gail's bitchiness, you have Taryn's 'increased' stock, and Mickie's motives. It just feels like too much is going on at one time. It could be a problem if you don't learn how to space things out. This has been one of TNA's issues in the past, but maybe they can get a better handle on things now. I can at least hope. 

Tension in the club house
Because of D'Lo quitting against Kurt Angle, Aces & Eights seems to be quitting on him. What about all that crap that you never walk alone in the Aces & Eights? It was a matter of time for the stable to start turning on their members, but is D'Lo being in the Card Games' doghouse really that important? His presence in the stable is so minor that it's hard for me to buy this as a big deal. D'Lo wanted to prove himself by defeating Magnus, but Bully elects DOC to do the deed. Magnus picked up a rollup victory since D'Lo screwed up. Oh no, he lost his jacket and is now a prospect. What will he do now? Find out next week on Aces & S**** Theatre.

Bottoms up!!!
Austin Aries needs to keep it in his pants. He's over here trying to shove his crotch at Christy Hemme. Wait until the show's over, dammit! Bad Influence and Greatest Factor bribe James Storm with beer so they could better their chances at the tag titles. It doesn't work for either team since the match ended in a No Contest when Storm beat up both teams. I think you're drunk, Storm. This puts the tag titles situation in the air, which means a triple threat tag match is apparently. If that's what ends up happening, there was no change between PPVs in the tag division. The only difference is the team holding onto the gold. And the writers aren't lazy? In the X Division, Kenny King talks about giving Chris Sabin a golden shower…..what? A golden shower? I don't think I want to watch this anymore. I know I should comment more about the X Division, but here's the thing. I don't care. It's great that Sabin is back after all those complications, but he works better with Motor City Machine Guns. Unfortunately, MCMG is out of commission until Alex Shelley gets a contract. The scene was boring since both guys cut bland promos. Yeah, that excitement just leaps out of this scene. Look at it go!!!

Monsters are lawyers
Since Styles said 'f*** it', Magnus is taking a nap on a construction site and James Storm has succumb to alcohol poisoning, Hulk Hogan calls one more guy to help Sting and Angle in the six-man tag match. As the match is near the end, Abyss makes his return and takes out the Aces & Eights by himself. One guy beat up eight people on this own? This is the worst stable ever! The show ends with the fans reacting somewhat surprised to the return. Okay, I'll say this. Abyss' return does make for a surprise, but I just haven't cared for the Abyss character in years. I haven't even cared much for the Joseph Park character. The man is doing a fair job in playing both roles, but I'm not really excited now that TNA is deciding to either use both characters individually or go with the 'Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde' approach. The moment was shocking, but you quickly remember that it's the return of a guy who NEVER left. Kinda hard to get that excited, but that's just me. If you're an Abyss fan, you will enjoy this scene. If you don't care for Abyss, I would expect you to not care for the scene. The biggest shock is finding out Abyss owns a phone.

Overall Impression:
Tonight's show was okay. I wouldn't call it great, but I don't think it was terrible. This mostly falls in the average territory. While Abyss' return can make for a surprise, I think it wears off pretty quickly since I've never been much of a fan for Abyss. If you like Abyss, that's fine with me. I personally don't have an issue with that, but I will always think of him as a Kane/Mick Foley hybrid. I didn't really like the ending of the show, but there was still other stuff to enjoy. The majority of the matches were fun to watch and some of the scenes being played out were hilarious bad at times. That has to be worth something, right? That does it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of the review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 


  1. If TNA decides to do the whole "Three Faces of Foley" with Abyss, I wonder what his third persona would be.

  2. Hopefully someone who can wrestle

  3. I've lost interest in the hogan show I much prefered tna before he and his army of company wreckers turned up! I think they need to take a different direction maybe involving the real talent in the company and not the same old tired faces

    New leadership is a must!

  4. How could you gloss over the tag match, it was becoming great towards the end. Review the show certainly, bitch about story lines, but don't ignore the actual wrestling. That tag match was great until that stupid redneck alcoholic rollocksed it up.