Tuesday, November 6, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw Review 11/5/12 (What are these 'scripts' you speak of?)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 11/5/12. How does Raw turn out this week? Let's find out and start the review. 

Match #1: Mask Duo and R-Truth vs Prime Time Players and Antonio Cesaro
We open up the show with a match. This matchup wasn't too bad. I thought it was given a decent amount of time with all things considered. I love how riled up Titus O'Neil gets when Truth does is little dance. How dare you flap your dick at me!!! The finish comes when Rey and Truth hit a 619/Little Jimmy combo on Cesaro for the victory. Yeah, they definitely are rolling with an Antonio/Truth rivalry. It isn't the most intriguing rivalry, but it could be a lot worse. You can always rehire Chavo Guerrero so you can renew the Chavo/Hornswoggle rivalry if you wanted something worse. We also find out that Miz quit Team Punk. Sigh….I'll talk about this later. Tune in for later in the review when the bulls*** commences. 

Winner via pinfall: R-Truth, Rey Mysterio, and Sin Cara

Vickie Guerrero continues to talk about the AJ scandal. She shows the viewers a couple of security cams that are supposed to make Cena and AJ look guilty. Okay, so you're telling me that Vickie got this job because of this "amazing" evidence? There's practically no proof here. Maybe the Board of Directors are a group of monkeys. You seriously have to wonder after that. Yeah, it's more wrestling logic. At least let me have a little fun. Cena points out that this proves nothing. I love Cena making fun of himself by adding a new wrestling move. I gotta give him props for that one. It was hilarious. Dolph taunts AJ in the back, so Cena runs after him because he needs to rise above sexual pleasure. I really didn't like this scene, but guess what? WWE would do something later in the night to make me hate this scene even more. Oh boy, I just can't wait….

Match #2: Daniel Bryan vs Cody Rhodes
Due to a ton of shenanigans by Damien Sandow, Cody is able to hit the Cross Rhodes for the quick victory. After the match, Cody thinks that Damien can beat Kane. It doesn't seem like Damien accepted so…..We get a match regardless? Maybe it was a life or death situation for Sandow. I guess he went with death. You're welcome. 

Winner via pinfall: Cody Rhodes

Match #3: Damien Sandow vs Kane
Once Bryan and Cody get sent to the back, this match ends in seconds. Kane wins with a Chokeslam. So, they continue to build the same story that Bryan is the weak link of Team Hell No. He's not a happy goat-face. 

Winner via pinfall: Kane

So, Brad Maddox finally explains his actions. He claims that CM Punk and Paul Heyman have nothing to do with his actions at Hell in a Cell. He explains that the script told him and then a dance scene ends the show. Well, that was anti-climatic. I guess I'll see you next week…..

Okay, that's not what happened. Maddox says his dream was to become a superstar, but never got a chance to prove himself because of his size. You know, the other thing holding you back from becoming a superstar has to be your promo work. I'm sorry, but he really stuttered through most of that speech. Then again, he's young and will learn to get better. Maddox claims that he screwed Ryback over so he could make a name for himself. Congratulations dude, you made a name for yourself and people will probably forget about it a year from now. Maddox wants a WWE contract and a match against Ryback. Somebody wants to see the hair grow on their chest. Vince McMahon comes out and will give Maddox a million dollar contract…..IF he defeats Ryback. Oh great, now we got to prepare for the cannibalism. Vince makes Vickie come out and forces her to make a WWE Championship match for Survivor Series. It will be Punk vs Ryback vs Cena at the PPV. Wait a minute? What about the traditional SS match that was booked last week? Why have Miz quit the team if this seems to be no more? Don't worry. WWE knew about this and not only replaced Miz with Wade Barrett (And showed a scene with Pauly recruiting Wade ….which is even more pointless than before. RAGE!!!), but made Dolph Ziggler the team captain. That's right. It's gonna be Team Foley vs Team Dolph at SS….

What? Yeah, if you're saying the same thing, you aren't alone. Why in the world did Dolph become the team captain? I have no problem with Dolph becoming a team captain, but he has no feud with Foley….And don't you DARE pull garbage out of your ass that Dolph/Foley exchanged words earlier in the year in order to justify this. That doesn't really count and you know it. This is beyond wrestling logic. It's straight up your ass logic. Yeah, the best kind of logic. Now, here's my two cents on the SS changes. I honestly believe that WWE rewrote the script during the taping of this show. It just seems odd that you would film a scene where Miz took himself out, Wade takes his spot on a whim, and then Dolph is named the leader without any storyline development between him and Foley. Oh, and they also threw away the Dolph/Cena idea….Which was already getting built up earlier in the evening. See, even more confusion to go around. This is why I believe the script was changed during the actual taping. Again, this is only my theory and nothing more, but I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. My guess is they felt Cena needed to be in the main event match. With all things considered, I like this idea of the WWE title match more than the elimination match. In fact, I was wondering why this wasn't announced last week. Punk/Ryback/Cena is a great idea. The elimination match looses even more interest in the process, but it can be sacrificed for the benefit of the WWE title. You know, the most important prize in the company. 

Match #4: Sheamus vs Miz
So, I guess Miz took himself out of SS because he wants to remain the laughing stock in the WWE. That's his new gimmick. Big Show was contractually obligated to do commentary for this match. In a solid match, Sheamus defeats Miz with the Brogue Kick. This is no surprise, whatsoever. After the match, Sheamus and William Regal agree to have a drink after the show. I get the feeling I'm forgetting something, but what? 

Winner via pinfall: Sheamus

Speaking of the--REGAL!!! THAT'S WILLIAM F***ING REGAL!!! Ehem….As I was saying. Why would the chairman of the board need a managing supervisor if the chairman is making all the matches himself? I'm having a little too much fun with the wrestling logic, but can you really blame me? While Punk throws a fit over the new match, he bitches even more when just about every employee in the WWE is making a big deal out of tonight's main event. It will be Cena/Ryback vs Punk/Dolph. This team was only a matter of time, but WWE was going overboard with Ryback and Cena teaming up. Seriously, they were hyping this up as if you were gonna get Jesus Christ vs Satan in the flesh. Yeah, so I think they were trying a little hard to make you that excited for this match. 

Match #5: Eve and Aksana vs Kaitlyn and Layla
I find it funny that Cole brings up the diva storyline of Kaitlyn getting attacked by Eve. Kinda hard for me to get into a storyline that never got resolved. Sure, there's still tension between Kaitlyn and Eve, but they kinda stopped with the whole "Who done it" deal and if Eve still has a job with Booker (I will talk about SD in the SD review, so just chill out). I guess they just didn't give a s*** anymore. Kaitlyn pins Eve cleanly. 

Winners via pinfall: Kaitlyn and Layla

Match #6: Alberto Del Rio vs Kofi Kingston
This match was decent enough to watch. Thanks to Randy's entrance music, Kofi uses it to steal a quick win. After the match, Randy Orton shows up and takes out Del Rio with the RKO. On SD this week, the two will battle it out in a boring-off. Let it……..commence….the sleepiness. 

Winner via pinfall: Kofi Kingston

Match #7: Comedy Bomb vs Puerto Rican Express
This was a tag match to get the UK crowd some Santino love. Yeah, the UK really likes this guy, so might as well take advantage of the fan service. One thing I haven't talked about is tonight's audience. They were very energetic tonight. It definitely helped with making the visual presentation stand out. Santino wins this match with the Cobra. You may like this guy, but his finisher is laughably still the worst finisher ever. And that's the joke, so we're moving on. 

Winner via pinfall: Santino and Zack Ryder

Match #8: Wade Barrett vs Brodus Clay
Wade wins this match easily with the Souvenir. I'm almost wondering if somebody within the WWE actually read one of my stupid opinions; considering they started to try something with Wade this week. I doubt it, but that would surely be something. With all things considered, I'm glad Wade took Miz's spot for the team. I even mentioned how Wade should've replaced Miz. It's crazy how my silly thoughts end up being correct once in a while. 

Winner via home crowd: Wade Barrett

Match #9: Heath Slater vs Jey Uso
Slater ends up picking up the clean victory with the Smash Hit. The match wasn't too bad. Apparently, the war dance the Usos do in the beginning needs a bit of tuning. Jinder Mahal is what you get if Hadji had sex with the Fonz. I'm fine with 3MB just picking up these small victories. They eventually need a rivalry or a major purpose, but they are just getting their feet wet. For now, a transparent rivalry for 3MB works. 

Winner via pinfall: Heath Slater

Match #10: CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler vs Ryback and John Cena
You know what I just realized? This was booked like a traditional Ryback match. The only difference is they had Cena get his ass kicked for 15-20 minutes until Ryback had to feast. It's ironic if you think about it. Ryback pins Punk with the Shell Shock. Ryback continues his chant towards Cena. The show ends with Ryback eating Cena in the middle of the ring. Kids around the world cried as the new face of the company was given to Yoshi Tatsu….

…Okay, that didn't happen. I'm sure Ryback ate the entire food supply in the UK for the week he stayed up there.  

Winner via pinfall: Ryback and John Cena

Overall Impression:
Raw was a very mixed bag. I liked some of the matches and I thought the audience did their best to make this show stand out. I've talked about how a mediocre show can look great in front of an energetic audience, but there was a lot of stuff I really didn't like about tonight's show. I already went into the SS elimination/WWE title ramble. Seriously, you completely ignore all that stuff that Punk and Foley did last week and pretend it didn't happen. No matter what excuse you have, it just looks poorly planned. It seriously looked like this show was written up as they were filming it since Dolph takes over for a team that makes no sense. I understand they threw Cena in the match to add more star power to the PPV, but they had to change a lot of things in order to do that. It's wrestling logic, but stuff like this can leave a sour taste in your mouth. I really don't like this whole AJ scandal storyline. It just comes off as stupid when you have them showing silly camera shots that are laughable bad. I'm guessing you sent these tapes to the people to Metropolis since they were so believable. Plus, I feel like I need to kill my ears every time I hear Vickie laugh. Yeah, it's the evil laugh, but it really likes to rape your ears after a while. Still, the show is at least better than last week. By the way, I apologize for this review arriving late. Since I started a new job that isn't as consistent as my previous schedule, I'm trying to get used to the new schedule. Give me some time to figure things out and hopefully I will get back to the swing of things. If things are delayed, they will eventually show up when they are finished, but don't get too angry if things are delayed for an extended period of time. I won't cancel Raw, Impact, or PPV reviews. SD is a review that's more flexible since the show mostly runs on filler, but I would still like to review SD on a weekly basis as well. Again, I apologize in advance but try to bare with me as I get into the swing of things. I'll try to do better, but I make no promises. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of my review, the show, and whatever else is on your mind. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. See you next time. 

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