What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 8/27/12. What madness happens this week? Let's get this over with and find out.
We open up the show with Jerry Lawler. He demands an apology for getting kicked in the head last week. CM Punk arrives and apologizes….for Jerry getting a BS ticket in the Hall of Fame and for being a shell of what he used to be. Lawler starts to get angry, but Punk reminds him that if he went up against him, that he would embarrass him. Punk leaves the ring, but not before Lawler says he will think about it. Lawler looked like a bitch during this segment, but that was the idea. For the rest of the night, we would have Lawler think about if he will accept the match or not. This is like the Lawler/Miz deal. Just substitute the Miz, slap Punk in there, and…..there you go. Instant "new" feud. Oh, what a joy.
Match #1: Ryback vs Jack Swagger
It turns out Swagger is still alive, but now it's time to kill him off again. Swagger wants to tap into the Konami Code to get another chance on this show. Shell Shock for the victory.
Winner via pinfall: Ryback
Match #2: Layla vs Natalya
Vickie Guerrero was at ringside waiting for this match to end. Layla wins with a kick to the head. After the match, Vickie wants Layla to leave so she can complain about AJ's job. AJ arrives and gives her a crazy bitch slap. Part of me was wondering why this made it on the show, and I think I came up with something. WWE wanted to prove that a slap/cat fight is more eye popping than an actual diva match. Think about it? Nobody cared about the match, but the audience wakes up for the mini-brawl. Not only that, but you have Vickie yawning during the actual match. You may think I'm crazy, but it all fits.
Winner vía yawning: Layla
Umm….Can we have a full three hours dedicated to Daniel Bryan? He's seriously the best character to watch in the wrestling world. I'm gonna go ahead and talk about all these anger management segments at once. Bryan is angry over the goat mask, complains about his boss, and Kane is having to join him for anger classes. I find this hilarious since Kane is wearing the predator mask. Do you ever wonder if Kane goes everywhere in that mask? I'm just imaging the guy buying a gallon of milk in that mask, or making a deposit at the bank. It's just a funny little imagine I see. Kane was also hilarious during this segment. I loved it when he told his past history of destruction. I was already LOLing, but that Pete Rose line sent me over the edge. This was the funniest segment of the night. I want a whole episode showing these anger management courses. Best segment of the night.
Match #3: John Cena vs Miz
There's those five moves of doom again. Ahhh, get some more toilet paper!!! Cena wins yet again. Why put the IC title on Miz if he isn't going to have anyone to challenge him consistently? I don't mind Miz being the IC champion, but I want to see other people chase after the IC title. In fact, this has been happening a lot lately with the mid-card champions. Part of the reason people are losing interest with these titles is because they aren't putting a lot of investment into it……until it's time to make another title change. I'm sorry, but WWE can be quite lazy with the IC and US Championship.
Winner via super powers: John Cena
Match #4: Heath Slater vs Santino
There was a boring chant during this match. Maybe casual fans are growing tired of Santino? The match ends with the Cobra sees Aksana, but is still able to execute the finisher for the victory. Once again, the Cobra is infatuated with Aksana. Take away the sock and it's Santino's right hand that's in-love with Aksana. His right hand? I don't even know what to say towards that. Ummm…..That's some good PG entertainment for you….
What's going on?
Winner via BOING: Santino
Match #5: Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes vs Brodus Clay and Sin Cara
Damien might have found somebody to carry a conservation with, but too bad he wasn't able to help him win this match. Brodus hits Funk It on Cody for the victory. I think this pretty much proves that Cody has lost all momentum at this point…..You're welcome.
Winner via pinfall: Brodus Clay and Sin Cara
Match #6: Daniel Bryan vs R-Truth
Bryan was starting to show some progress with his anger, but ends up getting distracted when Truth gets a 'Yes' chant going on. Bryan ends up getting into an argument with the audience, which leads to a countout victory for Truth. Where's Jack Nicholson when you need him?
Winner via countout: R-Truth
Triple H comes out and talks about his career. I did forget to mention that throughout the night, they were showing various clips of Trips' career. Trips claims he didn't want to become one of those guys that stuck around longer than he should've. In other words, he didn't want to end up like a Hulk Hogan. ZING!!! Trips thinks he could beat Brock Lesnar, but isn't sure he can. He doesn't really announce his retirement, but did seem to hint it. He thanked the fans for sticking by him all these years. If you listen carefully, you can hear the IWC getting ready to complain. So, this scene doesn't really indicate Trips retiring, but setting up his next storyline. It's really hard to determine at this point. I will just say this. If it's his next storyline, we will see where they go with this. If this really is the end, Trips had a good career at the end of the day. I know the IWC has hated the man for years, but I think the man has done some good things for the business.
Match #7: Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio vs Randy Orton and Sheamus
I love how nobody seems to care that Jericho has been "fired" this time around. Its like everyone knows he will be back next year. Anyway, Sheamus hits Dolph with the Brogue Kick for the victory. So far, none of these matches have really stood out tonight.
Winner via pinfall: Sheamus and Randy Orton
Match #8: Zack Ryder vs David Otunga
Don't worry, King. In other to harness the power of Cena, all you need to do is put a giant "S" on your T-shirt and you're good to go. Kane came out and was on commentary for this match…..If that's what you want to call it. He just stood there and said nothing. Josh Matthews ran away, while Michael Cole was getting the silent treatment. Ryder actually won a match. All that education and muscle and Otunga can't beat a goofball. I don't know if I should laugh or……laugh harder. After the match, Kane starts to choke out Ryder, but decides to hit the Chokeslam on Otunga. I guess Kane had a slight change of heart. Thanks, Mr. Rodgers.
Winner via pinfall: Zack Ryder
Match #9: CM Punk vs Jerry Lawler; Steel Cage match
At least the Raw Interactive was a little more open this time around, but you had to figure that the cage match would win. Punk finally gets himself a main event match on free television and it's against a 60+ year old man. Well, that's one way to make it happen. This was the longest match of the night, but it isn't what I would call amazing. Then again, I have to be fair since the age difference was a big factor. I think considering King's age, this match was acceptable. Punk wins with the Anaconda Vice. After the match, Punk gets a lock and locks the door, thus preventing people on helping King. Or, you could just lift up the cage door. What, is the button not working? Punk continues to attack, but Mr. Breakfast Cereal is here to save the day. You gotta love that wrestling logic. Cena arrives and wants King to get free. I'm surprised Cena didn't rip open the chains himself, right before drinking a glass of milk. Then again, that's probably the next "got milk" commercial. Just as the cage door is lifted, Punk retreats. It was also announced that Punk vs Cena will happen at Night of Champions. I love how Cena claimed he wouldn't say Punk is the best to get a title match. Well, he doesn't say it and he still gets a title match? I know its more wrestling logic, but I just find this hilarious. Yeah, they really want you to hate Punk after tonight, but I still like the guy. Yeah, they are forcing his heel turn and he isn't quite as cool as anti-hero Punk, but this beats face Punk by a long shot. Then again, I'm not the biggest fan of Lawler. Oh, did I just say that outlaid?
Winner via submission: CM Punk
While the match quality wasn't really there this week, I did enjoy a couple of things. The anger management segments were the highlight of the evening. I'm loving this whole Kane/Bryan deal. This is some funny stuff. The opening promo between Punk and Lawler wasn't too bad, so there was a couple of positives. Unfortunately, these moments are far in between, meaning you will have to watch a bunch of "eh" segments until you get to something good. None of the matches really stood out this evening, some segments were just there, and this wasn't one of the best shows. Anger management was funny, but that seemed to be the only thing I enjoyed, which is very disappointing. I'd say Raw is worth watching for the anger management, but……no, just Youtube the Bryan/Kane segments and save yourself the time. Other than that, everything else was running on filler. You know, you think for getting an extra hour that you would get a lot more development with certain storylines. Well, at least Raw made me laugh tonight, so at least that was entertaining. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.