What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 8/23/12. What sort of shenanigans happen in TNA land? Let's find out and start the review.
We open up the show with Sting and crew. They talk Aces and Eights, James Storm not being guilty, and Hulk Hogan. Two members of As & 8s arrive and get their asses handed to them by the TNA guys. They unmask one of the guys and it's revealed to be….Ron Howard (Hey, it was the best I could think of)? What, is the Fonz working for these guys too? Well anyway, the guys reveal that they were getting patched and they are in for a long night. Yeah, so I guess As and 8s put their members through some initiation to join the stable. Well, that was kinda harsh. What's the next test? Having to watch a Nicki Minaj concert? The opening pretty much sets up events for the evening.
Match #1: Tessmacher vs Tara
They really blew through that whole Madison Rayne/Earl Hebner storyline quickly, don't you think? I know people hated it, but it does show poor planning on TNA's part. Taryn Terrell was the referee in this match…..should I care? I'm sorry, but this whole Taryn/referee deal is just another way to add more fan-service to the show. Speaking of fan-service, more ass-shots of Tara are in full swing tonight. To be fair, TNA is trying something different with the division and not sticking to the norm….To some degree. Tara wins this match with a super-plex. The match was at least tolerable. At least they seem to be hinting at Tara/Tessmacher rivalry. As for Madison, I guess she can get Earl a year supply of Viagra.
Winner via pinfall: Tara
Match #2: RVD vs AJ Styles vs Robbie E; BFG Series
Pope is out of the BFG Series. Really, cuz I thought he was out of this thing on day 1? Believe it or not, Robbie E actually steals this match. RVD hit the Frog Splash on Styles, but Robbie picked the bones on RVD. Why didn't he just pin Styles? You know what, this actually got a chuckle out of me. I'll give them credit for making me laugh. The match was pretty good and given a large amount of time. I'm actually fine with Robbie getting a victory like this. Both RVD and Styles were in the top four going into this match, so my guess is they have another idea on who will be taking those spots, so it made sense to not give RVD and Styles more points.
Winner via stealing: Robbie E
Match #3: Jeff Hardy vs Robbie T
Instead of focusing on the BFG Series and guaranteeing that he doesn't make the cut, Hardy calls out Robbie T for screwing him over. Hardy, it was five points, who cares? Just move on with your life. In fact, f*** the world title, I want the five points!!! Hardy wins with a Swanton Bomb. Obvious filler match is obvious.
Winner via pinfall: Jeff Hardy
OH BOY!!! If you watched the show, then you know that happy times are ahead with this next segment. Styles claims to take responsibility for his actions, while Kaz and Christopher Daniels say Styles is the cause of all the worlds issues. Okay, hold on a minute there. You can't expect me to fly by that and NOT say anything. Styles is the cause of crime and bastard fathers? Yeah, I think these problems were still around BEFORE this ridiculous storyline was ever born, so what in the world are they talking about? You can tell that TNA is just pulling things out of their ass at this point…..BUT WAIT!!! Oh, we haven't even gotten to the REALLY stupid part yet. Apparently, we find out that Styles passed out via a spiked Cola. That should be the next tagline for Coca-Cola. Drink Coke responsibly, or else you'll get drag into a stupid story. That one made me lose it, BUT WAIT!!! There's even MORE on the horizon. Some bulls*** attorney of Clair Lynch shows up and claims that Styles isn't the father, she was blackmailing Styles because of Kaz and Daniels, ANNNNNND she's not even pregnant. Yeah, you know roundish stomach around Claire? Well, it turns out it was compressed air or a brain fart by the creative staff. I'll buy either one of those at this point. Where was I? Oh yeah……
I can't believe TNA invested eight months on this storyline and THIS is how it ends. This is retarded. This is beyond stupid. This is like…..mega, ultra, super, stupid. I know pro wrestling is very guilty of stupid moments, but this….this…..THIS!!! It was clear that TNA wanted to end everything tonight (Insert dirt sheet bulls*** right here), but this was just f***ing lazy. Well, I think I'm about done here. I think I got it all out of my system and to look at the positives. Think about it? The storyline should be officially over, so that's already a positive in my book. By the way, is it in TNA's blood to hire the worst actors possible? Another positive with this storyline is Daniels himself. He was the only one that put actual effort into this storyline, and that's why his character looks so twisted and evil. These are some of the best promos Daniels has ever cut, and this is coming from a guy who talked about how Daniels couldn't talk his way out of a paper bag. Give that man some credit.
Match #4: Chris Lewie vs Gunner; Gut Check
I guess Hogan doing things old school means he decides to bring back the black beard. If this whole Aces and Eights thing leads to another Hogan turn, I think I'm gonna lose it…..again…..maybe…..I don't know, but it won't be pleasant. And we go from one failed concept to another. I thought when they created the Gut Check that these people would get used immediately, not show up 2-3 years from now. If that's the idea, then just keep them in OVW to train. I understand what TNA's doing here, but they need to change the format. Chris looked worse than what's-his-face from the last GC. I'm convinced they found a hobo that wanted some food, slapped a pair of tights on him, and there's your wrestler for the evening. Garbage Man wins with the Garbage Plunge. Gut Check: good idea, but executed poorly.
Winner via pinfall: Gunner
Match #5: Mr. Anderson vs Bully Ray; BFG Series
So, if this was Anderson's last match in the BFG Series and he needed a submission win to have a chance, why didn't he try to win via submission? Assholes huh? More like dips*** if you ask me. Anderson is gonna play this in a conservative fashion and hope people lose points for him to get in, but he looks like a moron at the end of the day. The match was fair, so I'll give them that much. Anderson wins with Mic Check.
Winner via pinfall: Mr. Anderson
So, it's time for the final segment of the show. TNA locker room is ready, and here come Aces and Eights….
Hey, I think I saw Hogan duking it out with Adam West!!! Wow, you almost forget that Austin Aries is the TNA World Champion. Seriously, for being the world champion, he sure is underplayed. Aries ends up being taken out by Aries with an injured arm. That seems to be the popular, kayfabe injury as of late. I better hurry up before I end up with a broken arm. Yeah, so how did Aces and Eights recruit so many members? I guess the other guys were honey members or just a bunch of mooks. In fact, I thought it was funny that the TNA guys didn't bother to unmask any more members than the guy at the beginning of the show. You know we need that WRESTLING LOGIC. I also find it funny that As & 8s took out Aries and are on their motorcycles in five-seconds. It's like watching really bad editing. So, I'm still convinced that Bully or Bobby Roode have something to do with this stable. Speaking of Bobby, there was no mention of him at all tonight. Reckon, his actions from a week ago indicated that he wouldn't be active tonight, but they could've mentioned it. I think the final five minutes of the show was better than everything else tonight.
I honestly didn't enjoy Impact tonight. While a few matches stood out, there wasn't a whole lot to be excited about. The show got off to an interesting start, but then it got borderline average…..until the Claire Lynch deal. Oh, that was beyond horrific. In fact, you can make a horror film out of that storyline. After those events, everything else was just there. The only thing that stood out from this show was Aces and Eights taking out A Double. I personally thought this wasn't a good show (minus the wrestling), but I'm finding out that I'm the minority in that. The show had decent wrestling matches, but there was a lot of dead spots on tonight's show. I was bored during certain moments of this show. Aces and Eights was making it interesting, but those moments were far in between. Yeah, so it hasn't been one of the best weeks in pro wrestling. It hasn't been bad, but I've seen a lot of missed opportunities this week. Well, I think I pissed off all the TNA fans once again, so I better stop this right now before I get a surprise on my doorstop tomorrow morning. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.