Tuesday, August 7, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Raw Review 8/6/12 (WWE: Now with more car theft)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 8/6/12. Blah blah, generic intro, blah blah. Yeah, let's start the damn review already. 

We open up the show with AJ, who announces a couple of matches for tonight. CM Punk interrupts and apologizes for his actions, but still thinks AJ doesn't know what she's doing as the GM. Punk still pleads for AJ to change the match because WWE is trying to tell you that anti-hero Punk isn't gonna happen and he's gonna be heel Punk. John Cena comes out and says the normal, boy scout stuff. Do you ever feel that Cena has cut the same promo for years? To be fair, he does change it up, but it feels the same. Did Punk just say Cena's legs were gonna give out from delivering that AA to Show? I don't know if I should laugh or be sad at this point in time. People are gonna hate me after tonight. Big Show arrives…..yeah? AJ tells them not to fight. Yeah, I love how a 95-pound woman can hold off three grown men. Punk continues to demand respect, but AJ won't change the match. To add salt to the open wound, Punk will be put in a match immediately. The fans get to choose between Rey Mysterio, Kane, and Miz on SOCIAL MEDIA!!! Well, at least the voting is a little more open this time around…..somewhat. Yeah, so I wasn't really big on the opening. Last week showed some potential for that anti-hero character returning, but it's looking like it isn't gonna happen. Well, I might as well get used to this idea. At least a good chunk of casual fans haven't completely turned on Punk, seeing as how if you disagree with Cena, you're an automatic bad guy. What? You didn't know this? Yeah, it's apparently a new rule. Look it up sometime. 

Match #1: CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio
Okay, I can understand some of the complaints for tonight, but I don't see why people are complaining about this choice. I thought with Punk's heel promo that the majority of people would've voted for Kane. I would've been fine with either match regardless, but I'm kinda glad Rey won. Kane can still put on a fair match, but Punk/Rey put on some really good matches. What, so the IWC DOESN'T want to see wrestling matches? I'm just gonna face the realization that I will never understand the IWC. Anyway, I thought this was a good match. I've seen better Punk/Rey matches, but this was still fun to watch. The finish comes when Rey goes for the splash, but Punk gets his knees up. Punk hits the GTS and gets the clean victory. 

Winner via pinfall: CM Punk

Match #2: Alberto Del Rio vs Christian
Because Del Rio couldn't keep his mouth shut, he gets thrown into this match. This match didn't last long since the cost of that rental car is through the roof. During Ricardo Rodriguez's distraction, Del Rio hits Christian with his boot. Del Rio locks in the Cross Armbreaker for the victory. After the match, Sheamus steals Del Rio's car. Remember kids, stealing makes everything better….

What the hell am I talking about? You gotta love that WRESTLING LOGIC. Evil guy steals a car and is considered a criminal, but a good guy does it and is considered a saint. Well, it does teach people something. Never trust Ricardo with your car keys. 

Winner via submission: Alberto Del Rio

Match #3: Randy Orton vs Big Show
You get your basic booking here. Show can't look weak going into a WWE Championship match, but we can't make Randy look weak at the same time. So, the only thing to do would be for this match to end in disqualification or countout. Well, WWE gave you one better. You get a DOUBLE countout. This isn't predictable at all……Yep. After the double countout, Randy hits the RKO on Show. Way to go, Super Snake. Super Snake? Suuuuper Snnnnnnaaaaaaaake!!!

Double Countout

Match #4: Ryback vs Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks
Since WWE thinks people won't remember this handicap match from a few weeks ago, you get to see it again. Just YouTube this and it's pretty much the same match. In fact, I'll do it for you. What's that? I can't find good video quality on this? Well, how the hell was I supposed to---

Winner via pinfall: Ryback

Match #5: Prime Time Players vs Primo and Epico
Because somebody in WWE read my article….Hey, I can dream. Anyway, because of Primo and Epico disappearing from this whole ordeal, they returned to take on the PTP. The PTP are about to retreat, but Kofi Kingston and R-Truth arrive. I like how Darren Young drags Epico back in the ring, turns around for no reason, and walks into the Backstabber. WRESTLING LOGIC two times in one night….At least for the time being. Ladies and Gentleman, your Derp of the Night is Darren Young. I expect a triple threat tag team match to happen. That could be interesting. 

Winner via pinfall: Primo and Epico

Damien Sandow takes out Brodus Clay because dancing is NOT sophisticated. That's what happens when you're a comedic character on this show. Seriously, go talk to Zack Ryder about this. The match never happened, so expect that to be Sandow's storyline. Did anybody call his mommy? I know, bad joke. Daniel Bryan has another hilarious backstage scene. Just look at his facial expressions? He might be the best character on this show. Bryan vs Kane will happen at SummerSlam. Kane's hoping this leads to one more night with AJ. 

Match #6: Kelly Kelly vs Eve
Since Kelly realized that she needs the WWE to even have a career, she returns tonight. I didn't think it was possible, but Kelly looks worse in the ring now than before. How's that possible? She wins with a Kelly Kelly finisher. 

Winner via management: Kelly Kelly

WWE Employee: Hey Shawn, we have three hour Raws and we need to eat up time. What do you recommend?
Shawn: Well…..I could go out there and eat up 20 minutes?
WWE Employee: GENIUS!!!

With that, HBK is now in the ring. He's about to talk about Triple H/Brock Lesnar, but Brock and Paul Heyman interrupt. Paul says Brock is gonna destroy Trips, while HBK thinks Trips is gonna win since he made this personal. Trips arrives to help out his friend, but Brock retreats. Brock actually talked this time. Brock says he will see Trips at SummerSlam, and he will see HBK before then. Hmmm, I wonder what he meant by that? DA DUH DAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Yeah, this was a pretty good segment. Still looking forward to this match and future confrontations. 

Match #7: Dolph Ziggler vs Alex Riley
It's the WWE Drinking Game. Take a shot every time King says Sheamus 'borrowed' Del Rio's car. Might even be more intense than the John Madden drinking game. During this match. Chris Jericho is on commentary and does a live Tout. Because Dolph got overwhelmed by the social media, Riley gets a rollup victory. I wonder what's going through Dolph's head at this very moment….

Dolph: Damn you, Tout!!! DAMN YOOOOOOOU!!!

Winner via pinfall: Alex Riley (He can brag about this on NXT for the rest of the week)

Match #8: Kane vs Miz
Because AJ felt sorry for Kane and Miz getting denied, they get to face each other. In a fair match, Kane wins with the Chokeslam. I know people are gonna complain about Miz losing here, but I didn't think it was that big of a deal. If anyone ask, Kane isn't a face OR a heel. Kane is playing the role of……Kane. Only a few people can get away with that. 

Winner via pinfall: Kane

Match #9: John Cena vs Daniel Bryan
Sheamus finally brings back Del Rio's car, but it's a complete mess. What the hell did he do to it? It looks like he took a crap on it. Super Irishman went to take a Super Dump. Either way, vandalism is now supported by your fellow Irishman….

Sheamus' favorite video game is Grand Theft Auto. This has been a fun evening, don't you think? One thing I didn't mention was the Wade Barrett video package. It shows Wade with a beard. You know he's evil because he has a beard. They made Wade look like a bad-ass with the bare-knuckle fighting. It got me pretty excited to see his eventual return. So, Cena vs Bryan. The internet's most hated man vs the internet's favorite wrestler. Ohhhhhhh nooooooooo……This isn't gonna be pretty. Bryan does give him a fight, but Mr. Breakfast Cereal is just too much to overcome. Cena wins with the AA. After the match, Punk arrives to hoist up the WWE Championship. Cena pushes Punk away since Show arrives to fight. Cena about to hit AA on Show, but Punk knocks them both down. Punk then gets on commentary to shut Jerry "Cena Fanboy" Lawler up and talks about how he has done everything to be the good guy, but nobody seems to care. Punk is officially tired of making people happy, so it's all about him. Now, THAT'S the Punk I like to see. I didn't like how he opened the show, but I like it when Punk has that edginess to him. We need more of that on this show. Punk says the show will end with him standing tall, but it ends when Show gets back up and hits the KO punch on Punk and Cena. Oh yeah, he's still here. I don't know about you, but I keep forgetting that Show's involved with this storyline. I think between the three, that he is the least important. Then again, that's probably for the best. 

Winner via super powers: John Cena

Overall Impression:
I thought tonight's show was fair to watch. It wasn't great, but I was able to have fun with it. Yeah, I know I made a bunch of stupid jokes, but this is how I do things. I'm just trying to have a little fun. Still, I felt that this show was missing a couple of things from making it stand out. The action was okay, but I felt they could've done a little better. With nine matches on in three hours, you generally get a lot of mediocre and/or short matches that really don't stand out. Then again, I'm the kind of person who would rather have 4-5 great matches than 9 iffy matches. I also have to take in consideration that this is free TV and not PPV. It seemed that Raw did tone down the recaps….to an extent. Now, I was okay with certain parts of the show, but this isn't what I would call an episode that's worth watching. In many ways, you can probably consider this a filler episode. Yeah, sooooo…..I think I'm done here. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time. 


  1. MGS4 Trophies baby! Oh yeah, and how about that wrestling...



  2. I really hope they insert randy or rey into the sheamus vs del rio feud, but at least they're trying to make it a rivalry.
    And yes barrett looks great! what was up with his eyes though?
    speaking of eyes, wtf is up with ryback's eyes?

    1. Ryback's eyes. Ummm......He poked his eye out by eating a steak.....Wait, I already did that bit once. Let me think about this.....

    2. I know, Ryback was watching old Iron Sheik footage and decided to give the persian club challenge a go only for it to go very badly for him

  3. why dont they just make orton the main heel.He can punt people,spit on their faces and that evil grin is priceless.He has been a great heel in the past and can do so again.He can even make cena look good as a face but as you always say, its 'wrestling logic'

    1. I don't think that's what the term is used for...
      But your point about orton is very true! Good shout

  4. Wrestlingnerd! Great review - I would say Daniel Bryan is the BEST thing going in WWE right now - did you catch how he was even able to change the "Let's go Cena/Cena Sucks" chant (not once, but twice) to his "yes, yes, yes!" chant?
    That shows his ability not just in the ring, but as a complete package -- loved it, taking the focus off Cena -- hated Daniel losing cleanly to Cena -- Daniel's been losing way too much lately for what a great talent he is.

    Also, did you notice how dead the crowd was for Miz vs. Kane -- it was almost like a funeral.

    1. D bry is a comedic genius, great wrestler, and a good talker! He's brilliant. He's the best thing in wrestling. better than aries, better than punk better than everything

    2. Actually, the audience was pretty forgettable tonight. There were times where they were energetic, but other times where they looked like they were taking a power nap.

  5. Raw was actually great tonight...well it was ok.
    1) They didn't use those damn Touts except for great purposes like Sheamus spilling his burrito in Del Rio's car.
    2) Recaps aren't used as much except for HHH and Lesnar.
    3) They did follow the great formula. Daniel Bryan + air time = $$$. Daniel Bryan is a genius and now my hero of WWE. Sad though that a heel is my hero...Damn you SuperCena Formula. It seems like all faces are being bitten by a radioactive Cena. They become boring, predictable and love to talk about their fans.
    4) The only face that I like is Jericho. Kane and Jericho has reached that point in their careers where they can do anything and still get cheered. They are both almost out the door. They both need something specular to end their careers.
    5) More Damien Sandow!!! I love him on the mic and in the ring. He did a promo of him being at the comic con and was very funny. Now he has to go against brodus clay to actually do something. Well ok...it is a part of his gimmick. I hope he takes brodus clay out. Comedic characters are sell outs. They sell out to the audience by playing to the most common denomator...the casual fans. They play their roles and end up having a losing career. Sometimes they are funny, but usually they come off as ignoramuses. Ryder, Santino and Brodus have all worn out their welcome. And get that buffoon off the US Title. Thanks Caesero. Anyway MORE SANDOW!!!
    6) It would be fun to see Ryback take on the Tag Team division by myself.
    7) Cole gets a lot of shit, but finally somebody is taking shots at Lawler. Lawler is starting to irritate me too as a face. I love how Cole brings up facts, and Lawler is stuck with opinion.
    8) why oh why did Cena win cleanly? Does Bryan really need that? ugh! I really don't want to hear those words "The champ is here."

    1. Well, I did mention in last week's Raw review that I personally think Lawler is worse on commentary than Michael Cole. King has his funny one-liners, but there are times where he looks foolish while talking about certain things. Sigh.......I miss JR's commentary.

      Yeah, I like Sandow too. I hope they continue to give him the positive exposure.