What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE No Way Out 2012. How did the PPV come across? Let's find out and start the review.
Match #1: Sheamus vs Dolph Ziggler; WHC
We open up the PPV with the WHC match, but let's quickly talk about the pre-show. It was Yoshi vs Phoenix Wright in a battle of video game excellence *punch*, it was Brodus Clay vs David Otunga. Compared to the previous Brodus matches, this one actually showed Brodus struggling. At least they tried to utilize the attack on Smackdown this week, but it didn't last long. Brodus starts to get back in the match, so Otunga decides to leave the match. I'm sure Jennifer Hudson wouldn't want her wife to get injured now. Anyway, the match was pretty basic. To be fair, you really shouldn't expect much out of the pre-show matches. We also find out there will be a Fatal 4Way match to determine the #1 Contender to the WWE Tag Team Championships. I'll go into more detail on this when the match arrives. Okay, NOW let's get to the PPV.
To start off this match, Dolph gets a good luck kiss from Vickie Guerrero. Dolph almost gets hit with the Brogue Kick, but Dolph was able to dodge it. Yeah, I wouldn't think they would be stupid enough to go through with that 18 match again……right……right……RIGHT? Kinda odd that this match was the one that opened up the PPV, but I think it was a great way to start it all. This was a good match. I felt the flow went together rather well and both guys had a chance to show what they can do. This match is a strong candidate for the Match of the Night. Speaking of the Sheamus/Bryan match at WM, this match reminded me a lot of it. Look at it? The crowd was mostly pulling for Dolph in this match. It just seems like non-casual fans will not learn to love Sheamus. The finish comes when after dozen of near falls, Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick for the victory. If this turns out to be anything like WM 28, Dolph will have a bigger fanbase afterwords while Sheamus continues to remain in the same position. I like Sheamus, but I don't really see "world champion" when I look at Sheamus. I still think he makes for a better chaser for the championship than an actual champion.
Winner via pinfall and still WHC: Sheamus
Vince McMahon and John Laurinaitis were in a backstage scene. Johnny is trying to give Vince advise while Vince doesn't seem to give a s***. Josh Matthews cuts an interview with Roboinaitis, but it leads to an angry outburst from Johnny. I guess Johnny is feeling a little red right now. Wait? A red robot?
OH MY GOD!!!
Match #2: Santino vs Ricardo Rodriguez; Tuxedo match
For those unfamiliar with a Tuxedo match, here are the rules. The idea is to get your opponent out of their tuxedo, thus you are the winner. Its pretty much the males version of a Bra and Panties match……or would this be the female version? Yeah…..Think about that. Did anyone have Dumb and Dumber flashbacks with Santino's tux? For a comedy match, it seemed to be missing something…..the comedy!!! I didn't expect much with this match, but the comedy was really lacking in certain areas. The only moments I chuckled at were the bullfighting schtick and when Ricardo lost. The finish comes when Ricardo threw the Cobra out in the audience. Ricardo starts taking off Santino's shoes and socks until he reveals another Cobra on his legs. He uses the Cobra on it and…….Okay, that was really stupid. What's gonna happen next time? Santino going to literally pull a Cobra out of his ass? I'm fine with the comedy in pro wrestling. In fact, most of you know I laugh and love some of the most over the top moments in pro wrestling, but that Cobra bit was just stupid. With Ricardo down to his underwear, he appears to be wearing Alberto Del Rio underwear. I didn't even know they made those? Maybe that's Del Rio's seal of approval…..or disapproval. If Santino's going continue the comedy act, they really should consider getting the US Championship off of him. At this point, it doesn't do anything for Santino.
Match #3: Christian vs Cody Rhodes; IC Championship
Cody didn't show up on Raw or SD this past week. I guess its because he sent his jacket to the cleaners, but they misplaced his order and he had to wait. This was a pretty good match. Both Cody and Christian got to shine during this match. The finish comes when Rhodes goes for Beautiful Disaster, but misses and walks into a Spear. This should end things between Cody and Christian. They both need new programs.
Winner via pinfall and still IC Champion: Christian
Match #4: Primo and Epico vs Prime Time Players vs Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel vs Usos; Fatal 4Way match to determine #1 Contender to WWE Tag Team Championships
Having this match is kinda baffling. I mean, when was the last time WWE invested a ton of time into the tag team division? Well, I should give them credit for trying. During the pre-show, AW was talking about how this would be Primo and Epico's night to shine. This match wasn't too bad. It can be a bit of a clusterf***, but it wasn't too bad. This is what the tag team division needs more of. King baffled me when he said that Rosa Mendes dominates one of his dreams. I know what he was going for here, but I pictured Rosa with a whip while the King was……I'm just gonna stop right there. That's it, I QUIT!!! The finish comes when AW tosses Primo back in the ring, which allows Darren Young to hit the Gut Check. Yes, that's actually what it's called. Epico tried to save his partner, but AW prevented it. After the match, the Puerto Ricans argue and yell at AW. This makes the PTP and AW join up and attack Primo and Epico. So, it appears that AW has dumped Primo and Epico in favor of PTP. This probably was the best move. I don't know about you, but I always found the pairing of AW/Primo and Epico to be off. AW joining up with PTP can be interesting, but what's AW's obsession with the tag team division? I think the guy wants to secretly team up with The Rock and be known as the Rock-A-Likes. Get it? Get it? I hope you get it. Millions of dollars is on their way…..I think.
Winner via pinfall and NEW #1 Contender to Tag Team Titles: Prime Time Players
Triple H comes out to address the Brock Lesnar/Paul Heyman lawsuits. What it all boiled down to was Trips challenging Brock to match at SummerSlam. Why? Because Trips wants to fight. That, and he was inspired by Undertaker to cut to the chase….
Match #5: Layla vs Beth Phoenix; Divas Championship
Layla wins with the Lay Out. I don't even know what more to say….
Well, that was kinda harsh. I thought the match was fair.
Winner via pinfall and still Divas Champion: Layla
Oh yeah. I forgot to mention how AJ kept wishing CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and Kane good luck tonight. She only kisses Punk and Bryan on the cheek, but Kane immediately pulls her in for more. Hey, evil monsters also get lonely. I know people are going to crap on this because Kane said a while back that he no longer has human emotions. Well, these are mostly sexual emotions, so I think you can get away with that. Kane is obviously thinking with a different part of his body. Let's call it his Red Pitchfork. Yeah, I'm terrible and I don't even care.
Match #6: Sin Cara vs Hunico
Sin Cara wins with La Mistica. It was pretty much the same match the two had a Raw a few weeks back. This really doesn't need to be on PPV. I understand the need of wanting to showcase Sin Cara, but there are better ways to do it. Oh well, I guess we can all use a break. Especially since the previous scene was Kane sticking his tongue down AJ's throat. I bet Kane's saying, "So……..do we have time for a quickie?". Anyway, good job Mr. Red Ranger. You have protected the world from the former Black Ranger. I miss my Blue Ranger.
Winner via Morphin' Time: Sin Cara
Match #7: CM Punk vs Daniel Bryan vs Kane; WWE Championship match
This was a good match to watch. I was wondering how it would work out with Kane being involved, but I think it turned out pretty well. The audience was kinda out of it for a while, but got back up during this match. YES! NO! YES! NO! YES! NO!….
What, no MAYBE chant? I was kinda hoping for that. After a bunch of near falls, the finish comes when AJ arrives and ends up getting tackled by Kane on the ring apron. Kane sees what happens, but forgets about Punk. Punk hits the GTS and remains the WWE Champion. I like how Bryan completely disappeared towards the end of the match. What, did Harry Potter wrap his ass out of the building? After the match, Punk celebrates in the ring as Kane carries AJ to the back. As Kane is walking away, AJ gives Punk a wink. What kind of wink was that? Was that the "I'm glad I could help" wink, or was that the "I'm gonna get down with a demon" wink? Regardless, it appears that AJ was playing Kane this entire time…..or was she? I think it was best for Kane to take the defeat. I always figured Kane was just thrown into this rivalry to buy the Punk/Bryan/AJ deal more time. Nothing is resolved between Punk and Bryan, so we will probably get to see a rematch at Money in the Bank. I think it could be interesting. Not only do you get good wrestling quality with Punk and Bryan, but you also get an interesting storyline. I guess we will find out as this continues. Kane better go stock up on his Big Red Trojan Box if this is a one-time offer.
Winner via pinfall and still WWE Champion: CM Punk
Match #8: Ryback vs jobbers from American Idol
The jobbers were named Dan Delaney and Rob Grymes. Colin Delaney not available? Ryback kills with the Double Muscle Buster. Feed me more……chicken. Yeah, he needs a protein load after that "workout".
Winner via massacre: Ryback
Match #9: John Cena vs Big Show; Steel Cage match
I get the feeling I've seen this match before. Show is dominating a good chunk of the match. Cena is down and out, but Show makes one mistake and Cena is able to summon the powers of a God as is able to defy the odds. I can see why people think the WWE Championship isn't important as of late. Especially considering that Cena has been the main event for five PPVs in a row. I understand that he's the face of the company and is always going to be a main attraction, but you can lay off of the Cena cock once in a great while. Time for Show to do a move that gets Cena back in it. What will it be this time around? I got it!!! CANNONBALL….F***!!! Show crashes and burns on the elbow drop, which allows Cena to hulk up. Cena gets a door smashed in his face and a Chokeslam and is still able to kick out at two. Nuclear bombs can't even kill Cena, so what made you think Show was gonna take him out with a Chokeslam. Johnny and Vince ended up taking each other out, along with a referee. The referee in the ring was also taken out. There is no referee and the match continues. Remember that for later. Show hits the KO punch on Cena, so decides to walk as slow as possible to the door. This allows Brodus to show up with a steel chair and stand by the door. Brodus summons Santino, Alex Riley, and Zack Ryder to help out, but they all get killed by Show. As Show starts to climb the cage, Kofi Kingston shows up and is able to kick Show back to the ring. The finish comes when Cena gets back up and climbs over the cage for the victory. Seconds later, Show is seen outside of the cage, so he just missed victory. Remember what I said about the referees? If the refs are taken out, how did they determine who won the match? Vince was out, so does the timekeeper get to be the referee in this situation? I'm just going to write WRESTLING LOGIC on this one. After the match, Cena hits the AA on Johnny through the Spanish Announce table,, but not before Vince fires Roboinaitis. So, the robot empire is over after all these months. It did seem like Johnny was going to be removed from the GM position really soon. Johnny has been in-charge since October, so I think they were due for a change. Still, I think my biggest issue with the match was resorting to the same, Cena formula you are used to seeing. I know I'm beating a dead horse when I talk about this, but the Cena formula is getting really old. If you've seen one match were Cena was up against a wall, you have pretty much seen every other match done in this style. I guess it's a good thing that Johnny is no longer in control. I can admit that I am curious to know in who they will pick to run Raw and SD. Plus, a one month reign of terror by Show is kinda silly when you think about it. You build him as a wrecking machine, but only to get crushed by the Cena machine. Nothing can kill the Cena machine. As for Show, I don't think it matters what happens next. He will beat up smaller guys, but might end up having issues against bigger names.
Winner via timekeeper: John Cena
There were moments where the PPV looked great, but there was a few moments where things just fell apart. What helped this PPV stand out was the two world title matches and the IC championship match. The Tag match and the Divas match were passable. Yes, I just said that. I think one of the main issues I had with tonight's PPV was how it looked. It didn't really feel like a PPV. They certainly had quality-style PPV matches, but the overall show didn't feel like PPV quality. It mostly felt like a glorified episode of Raw. There's nothing wrong with a glorified episode of Raw, but this isn't Raw. This is PPV and people generally want to see some type of plot twist, a swerve, or something big for PPV quality. Yeah, Johnny just lost his job, but that isn't a big enough of a swerve. And the sad part was this PPV had a ton of potential to pull off a swerve. Both world title matches and the main event had swerve written all over them, but the WWE didn't want to take a gamble on it and decided to play it safe tonight. There's nothing wrong with playing it safe, but I think most people were expecting something more from this PPV. The show can also be pretty predictable, but this also falls in the boat of not going with a plot twist. Kinda ironic I said it was predictable since I actually got two picks wrong, but since when do I care about my predictions? On a scale of 1-10 and 5 is considered average on here, I'm gonna give WWE No Way Out 2012 a 6 out of 10. I would consider this a slightly above average show and nothing more. The PPV did feature some really good wrestling matches and some interesting moments, but this PPV does feel like a letdown in the PPV department. I liked parts of it, but I also feel disappointed with this PPV. You might want to give this PPV a look at, but this show isn't for everyone, so don't say I didn't warn you. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. If you enjoyed any of my nonsense, you can check out some of the other articles I've written. Also, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.
WrestlingNerd's Official Score of WWE No Way Out 2012: 6 out of 10