What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 6/7/12. Would the second edition of a live Impact fair a little better? Let's find out and start the review.
We open up the show with Dixie Carter, but we also get a shot of Dixie yelling at the production crew for airing the phone call last week. Dixie is walking around pissed off….or as pissed off as Dixie can act. Her acting has gotten a little better, but she can be very bland in her delivery. You're finished!!! Turn this off!!! I'm angry…..really!!! That Keanu Reeves School of Acting is working wonders for her. Anyway, she's in the ring and is about to reveal the truth, but she still thinks Kaz and Christopher Daniels and heartless people….
Just as she's about to tell the truth, Kaz and Daniels interrupt. They basically bully her. This makes her retaliate by…..swatting at the air? I guess TNA didn't hire a pest control before the show. Those damn bugs. Anyway, AJ arrives to help her out, but Dixie's husband, Serge, finally shows up. Serge helps Dixie to her feet, but ends up punching AJ in the face. I was wondering if Serge would do anything about this considering this allegations have been going around for weeks. Maybe he doesn't watch TNA on a frequent basis? So, we get more fallout with this storyline. It's over the top and ridiculous, but that's what pro wrestling is. We get a follow-up after the commercial break, where AJ and Dixie have left the arena together. I guess they are going to have "We have been exposed for the truth, but we are still going to do things" sex. Yeah, you're familiar with that, right?
Match #1: Austin Aries vs Crimson
Samoa Joe and A Double take back towards one another prior to this match. Am I supposed to care about this or should I just ignore it? You would think they would give this match a little more time, but it was pretty short. The finish comes when A Double gets pushed off the top rope by Joe. He drops him once and Crimson is able to just pick the bones for the victory? Even for WRESTLING LOGIC, that's a little much to buy. I guess the writers dipped into the Hardy stash a little early. So, what's this beef between Joe and Aries? Since TNA is giving you a cliche reason, I'm gonna make up my own. Ummm…..Aries ruined Joe's collection of pie-eating contest trophies, so Joe vows vendetta for his lost possessions. There you go. That's something we can get behind. After the match, Crimson cuts a promo about being more impressive than Goldberg….
When did Crimson become a comedian?
Winner via crappy finish: Crimson
Brooke Hogan introduces herself to the Knockouts….or at least four of them. There will be a Fatal 4Way match to determine the #1 Contender to the KO title. Brooke also brings up Velvet Sky being featured in a porn flick, er, I mean a music video. I normally wouldn't bring up bulls*** like this, but Mickie James seemed a little peeved that Velvet was getting the attention. I guess it might be something to monitor. Either that or something to fall asleep to. I'm not sure. Hulk Hogan is in the ring and talks about Slammiversary and next week's show. Apparently, he wants to have a world title match for next week, but Robert Roode interrupts and isn't happy about that. Bobby demands respect…..Sting shows up…….Roode takes him out……Sting gets back up and takes out Bobby…..I don't know. I liked Roode's promo, but I'm still not liking this Roode/Sting deal. I like how Sting no-sells Bobby's attacks. I get that was the idea, but amazing how a 50+ year old man take a beating from a 30 something year old.
Match #2: Velvet Sky vs Mickie James vs Tessmacher vs Tara; #1 Contender match for KO title
The match was a match. Of course, of course. Tessmacher wins with that weird slam. Again, I don't like this finisher. If it works for you, that's fine, but It just looks botchy as hell from my perspective. I guess it will be Gail Kim vs Tessmacher at the PPV. After the events of Sacrifice, this was the best way to go. Still don't know why it took so long to name Tessmacher the #1 Contender, but who cares.
Winner via pinfall and NEW #1 Contender to KO title: Tessmacher
Why is this shot of Bully Ray look so wide? He's gonna eat me!!! I love Hogan's phone conservation with AJ. It was probably Hogan's best moment in quite some time. He tells AJ to get his ass to the building since he doesn't care about this AJ/Dixie crap. Son of a bitch, man. Son of a bitch. Sadly, this scene might have been the highlight of the whole show.
The Bully Ray/Joseph Parks contract signing was next. Bully rips up the original contract and wants Joseph to sign this new contract. I was almost expecting him to sign the new contract since it would be really stupid to show a lawyer character not even READ the contract. Luckily, that wasn't the case. Once Joseph refuses to sign the new contract, Bully spits on him, which makes Joseph go on a rant in how Bully is ruining the legacy of Abyss. Oh yeah, because everyone is going to remember the "remarkable" career of Abyss. Abyss shows up on the titantron and isn't happy with Joseph. It turns out Abyss will be appearing at Slammiversary. This segment ends with Bully attacking Joseph. Yeah, cuz we haven't seen that before. I have to give Joseph credit since it was able to react pretty well to the pre-recording of Abyss…..or was it?
Match #3: Devon vs Robbie E; TV Championship
There was a short video on Joey Ryan and him criticizing the Gut Check judges and the entire company for passing up on him. So, should we be congratulating Joey on working for TNA or not? Regardless, it's funny how the guy with NO contract is doing more work than the guy who HAS a contract. Yeah, how that's whole thing working out for you, Alex Silva? And then we have this match….f***. You know what? Just cut and paste any match I've reviewed of Devon/Robbie E for the past three months and there you go. This rivalry should be dead, but TNA doesn't know when to kill a concept. Garett Bischoff and Robbie T were at ringside. Madison Rayne showed up and started flirting with her crush. Yeah, because everyone wants a piece of Devon. It will probably turn out to be Garett since TNA loves giving programs to people with no charisma. Still, why do I keep thinking that Madison's crush revolves around the referee? This match ended in what is possibly the dumbest way to end a match. Devon goes for a small package, but you get shenanigans and Robbie T gets in the ring to reverse it. Already, it's pretty stupid, but we need something that makes you want to jam your eye with a pair of chop sticks. How about this? After reversing the small package, let's have Garett get in to re-reverse it. Devon retains the title. Do I really have to explain how stupid this looks? How can Devon and Robbie not have enough strength to kick out of a small package? What, did the insulin kick in? I know wrestling is guilty of stupid moments, but this is ridiculous. I can't even laugh at it in a silly fashion. The finish was so bad that I think it can give you a disease. Why isn't there a health warning when watching this show?
Loser vía TV: ME!!!!!!!! *SOB*
Hogan shows up…..dammit. Mr. Anderson shows up because he wants to have a title match. Why does Anderson sound drunk? Looks like somebody forgot TNA started an hour early. Hogan invites RVD and Jeff Hardy to the ring. He books the three in a #1 Contender match at Slammiversary. The winner will get their title match on next week's Impact. Yeah, I'm so glad Hogan came out a second time to make that "monster" announcement. I'm literally sitting with anticipation as I heard this match. I can't wait for this. Oh God…….oh GOD!!! I can't even make myself care.
Match #4: Robert Roode, Christopher Daniels, and Kaz vs Sting, Kurt Angle, and AJ Styles
AJ arrived later in this match. I guess he had that style of sex I was telling you about and was going to follow it up with "We are both crazy and still want to do stuff to each other even though your husband is gonna kill me" sex. This was probably the best match of the night, but it really isn't saying much. With these live Impacts, they can't seem to deliver in the action department. They need to work on that. The finish comes when AJ arrives to even the odds. Sting and Bobby are left in the ring. Sting locks in the Scorpion Death Lock on Bobby and is tapping out. So, that's a second week in a row that Bobby tapped out to Sting. I guess 50+ year old men are his one weakness.
Winner via submission: Sting, Kurt Angle, and AJ Styles
I expected the first couple of live Impacts to be a little rough, but I'm not sure if this can even qualify as rough. The show got off to a decent start, but things dipped pretty quickly in a hurry. The action was not there tonight. It was almost invisible if you think about it. To be fair, this is the "go home" edition of the show, so it's custom to take it easy on the week of a PPV. A lot of the promos/segments were bland and boring. There was a lot of build for the Slammiversary PPV. I have noticed that with the edition of the Open Fight Night, TNA has one less week to build up a PPV. This is why a lot of these matches feel rushed and uninspired. I don't see a lot of matches that pop out about Slammiversary. While TNA did build up towards the PPV, I don't think it did the best job of selling the PPV. Impact wasn't terrible, but it wasn't good either. I personally wasn't a big fan of Impact tonight. Hopefully, they can do better as they continue the live Impacts for the summer. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.