What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 6/21/12. With the third edition of Open Fight Night, how did it fair this time? Let's find out and start the review.
We open up the show with Hulk Hogan. He says Sting's attackers will be on notice. Since this is wrestling, look for those attackers to be hovering around for three months as they completely avoid security. Funny how that happens, but that would be the logic, upon logic of the logic variety……wrestling? Hogan calls out Austin Aries since he wants to know his decision. Aries tells him that he decided to go with the steak for dinner…..oh, and something involving the X Division/World Championship. I'm not sure. Aries says he doesn't want to prestige of the X Title to go to waste, so he has another idea. He will give up the X title, but only if the Destination X is a PPV where the current X Division champion can give up the X title for a shot at the World Championship. Hogan loves the idea, so I guess Aries is no longer the X Division Champion. They never exchanged the championship, but I guess the handshake was implied. Robert Roode interrupts and talks about how the X Division championship is a piece of crap and A Double better watch out. Aries wants to fight now, so time to get a brawling segment. TNA road agents break it up, but not before Mr. Anderson showed up and claims to win the BFG Series. Yeah, unless Anderson buys a cowboy hat and develops a drinking problem, I don't see that happening. Then again, Anderson does walk around that ring in a drunk-like fashion, so maybe he's halfway there? I liked how the show started off. It went decently and I kinda like the idea of giving future X Division champions an opportunity at the world title at one of the PPVs. The PPV is titled Destination X, so why not have them compete in a world title match? Then again, this part of the show didn't blow my mind. What did blow my mind was seeing a kid in the audience wearing a John Cena T-shirt. A kid that watches BOTH WWE and TNA? What is this madness?
Match #1: Mr. Anderson vs Christopher Daniels; BFG Series
Anderson challenges Daniels because he gets to drink Slimer vomit. Yes, I know it was an appletini. The match lasted about 2-3 minutes. Anderson wins with the Mic Check. With the victory, Anderson wins 7 points. The point system is the same from last year, so nothing has changed there.
Winner via pinfall: Mr. Anderson
AJ Styles and Dixie Carter are debating if they want to reveal the facts or not. Oh boy, I can't wait for this. This is gonna be the best reveal ever. Yep……the best ever…….RUN AWAY!!! Brooke Hogan is talking to Madison Rayne, ODB, Velvet Sky, and Mickie James about the KO Championship match. Anyway, she eliminates Madison because she's too busy thinking about referee strudel or whatever her crush is this week.
Match #2: Robbie E vs Kurt Angle; BFG Series
Oh, this is gonna be a good match. I can't wait for this. Let me go get myself a Pepsi and……what? The match is already over? Kurt won via submission? What the hell was that? Then again, it's Robbie E, so I shouldn't be surprised. This makes those Ryback squash matches much more dignified. I ask once again. How did Robbie E get into the BFG Series?
Winner via submission: Kurt Angle
Match #3: Magnus vs AJ Styles; BFG Series
Magnus challenges AJ because he's a home-wrecker. Funny how the audience is still supporting AJ throughout all these allegations. Then again, it's pro wrestling. AJ is competing, but is still distracted. Oh, can I please reveal what's been troubling AJ? Oh, that's gonna be a doozie. Daniels and Kaz show up with more dirt on AJ. During the distraction, Magnus hits a Falcon Arrow for the victory. Falcon arrow…..Falcon punch…..Falcon kick…..Falcon falcon….Okay, I'm done.
Winner via pinfall: Magnus
Match #4: Taeler Hendrix vs Tara; Gut Check
Yeah, they actually got a woman to take part in the Gut Check. I did wonder if women wrestlers were going to be open to this, so I guess I got my questioned answered. Tara wins with the Widow's Peak. Hendrix is interesting to say the least. She has a good look and I think it can work for her, but she still needs work in some areas. Her in-ring ability looked about average. Then again, I've seen people with far worse skills that actually became champion (Velvet and Kelly Kelly). I guess we will find out next week if Hendrix gets a contract or not…..Even if the Gut Check is somewhat of a joke at this point. If you search hard enough, maybe you can see Alex Silva sitting in the audience.
Winner via pinfall: Tara
Match #5: Samoa Joe vs James Storm; BFG Series
Bully Ray ran into Joseph Parks and says if him and his family get in his face, they will disappear. Yeah, I want to see how that would unfold since Abyss has returned twice this year from going missing. This again was a short match. Are you noticing a pattern here? Storm hits the Super Kick for the victory. Storm now has 27 points in the BFG Series.
Winner via pinfall: James Storm
Match #6: Bully Ray vs Pope; BFG Series
Brooke eliminates ODB from the KO title match. Why? I don't know. I think it was something involving an insane asylum patient. I wasn't paying attention. Bully challenges Pope because he wants the easy points. This was another short match. The finish comes when Abyss shows up in the audience and grabs Bully from the outside of the ring. Umm, how did this not end up being a DQ? Abyss flat out put his hands on Bully in plain referee sight, so what's that all about? You companies and your WRESTLING LOGIC. Abyss tosses Bully back in the ring. Pope hits a quick move and is able to get a quick pinfall. There's a lot of issues with how this match ended, but it did its job. Bully/Joseph/Abyss deal will continue, while the Pope is just there. That seems about right.
Winner via pinfall: Pope
Match #7: Tessmacher vs Mickie James; KO Championship match
Brooke picks Mickie. Why, you may ask? Because the script told her. Are you ready for an interesting stat? This was the longest match of the night. Yep, I'm not bulls****ing here. The finish comes when Tessmacher does a Kelly Kelly finisher for the victory. After the match, Mickie is pissed off. Oh no. I think I know what's gonna happen….
Well…..that might be a stretch. Still, she's gonna snap.
Winner via pinfall and still KO Champ: Tessmacher
Match #8: RVD vs Jeff Hardy; BFG Series
Another short match? Okay, I gotta be honest. I knew things were going to be cramped this evening since they had so many matches and development scheduled, but couldn't we get one match that stood out from the pack? All I'm asking for is one decent match. All these matches were rushed. Then again, it's free TV, so maybe I shouldn't expect much? Still, one match couldn't hurt. To be fair, this was the best match of the night, but it was still rushed. The finish comes when Hardy hits Twist of Fate for the victory. I like how Hardy and RVD weren't the ones picked in OFN. Well, that might have to do wit the fact that you could end up in jail being around Hardy or RVD. The only thing the other guys could do is plant money (Pope) or condoms (Styles) on you. Hey, I heard nothing fun about jail. By the way, I'm just f***ing around.
Winner via pinfall: Jeff Hardy
Time for the final segment of the night. Dixie Carter and AJ are about to reveal the truth, but they are about to chicken out. That's when a mystery woman arrives. I thought it was AJ's wife at first, but it turns out her name is Claire Lynch (I think). AJ isn't having an affair…..he's having affairs. She comes out and says AJ and Dixie are good people and they have been helping her. She's dealing with personal issues and they have been helping her throughout this time….
She talks about her substance abuse and waking up in a stranger's……okay, I can't watch this anymore. I'm sorry, but that's all I can take. I was honestly confused when she started talking. I knew that this storyline was either going to get interesting or really stupid. I mean, we are dealing with pro wrestling here. Still, I didn't think it would be this stupid. So, you're telling me that AJ's been screwing up his matches because he's out trying to help a friend? Oh, the humanity. Oh God…..OH GOD……OH GAAAAAAAWWWWWD!!! Not to mention that everything established doesn't add up. The photos, the video, the phone call. My God, the phone call. AJ said he wouldn't miss it for the world. Miss what? A drunken woman lying out in a gutter? Is that really such a spectacle? What's the matter with you? Why is Dixie hiding the fact that she's helping this person from her husband? Does he secretly hate her? Is Serg an asshole who hates free handouts? Why am I even questioning this? I think THAT'S the question of the night. Yeah, so this doesn't make any sense with the established kayfabe. To be fair, when they revealed the affair angle, it didn't make much sense then. So, why did I let that go, but trashing this? Because the affair angle offers a lot of possibilities. It made the storyline somewhat interesting and it was kinda entertaining seeing the emotions of people playing if off. But, how do you follow all of that up with this? This is an example of TNA playing it way too safe. Instead of doing something different with AJ and/or Dixie's character, we have to turn them into saints and make sure there's an explanation to all of this. But it doesn't make any sense? Who cares? This is pro wrestling, it isn't like we have to try. I still can't believe they did this, but part of me isn't that surprised. Way to kill a storyline, TNA. And I was willing to let some of this crap slide, but it only got worse when this Claire character showed up. And when I say that, I'm not referring to the established kayfabe. I'm talking about her character performance. Oh my freakin' God, her acting was horrible. Was this her first day? Couldn't they find someone that can actually give a convincing performance? The storyline already jumped the shark, but it didn't mean we needed someone that rehearsed the scene 20 seconds ago. TNA, you really should be ashamed of yourselves after this. That's it!!! I'm done….
I apologize for my outburst. I'm normally Mr. Silly-Man or the optimistic one, but this one really got to me. We can see how it unfolds, but the damage has been done. The show has broken me……
Do I really have to give my overall impressions? I think the ending pretty much summed up the whole show. TNA starts doing well for the past couple of months. Things were looking positive and up for the company, but then they rolled this. Tonight's show was pretty bad. The action was very lacking since it was all completely rushed. Some might enjoy the action, but I feel like the action moved at the pace of a five-year old off a sugar high. Probably my favorite moment of the night was the intro. The show got off to a great start. I loved the interaction between Roode and Aries. I wanna see more of that. They should've ended the show right there, but they wanted to keep going. Some people can argue that everything (minus the ending) was at least decent. That might be true, but I just didn't get an enjoyment out of tonight's show. Raw may have been lackluster in its own right, but I would rather watch that than this. And then there's……No, I'm not gonna talk about that segment anymore. If I talk about it again, I will have another relapse. Let's just end it here. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. What was there to enjoy? As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. Oh, I would LOVE to see how people are going to defend this. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time…….F***!!!