What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Slammiversary 2012. With ten years of existence, what did TNA have in-store for tonight? Let's find out and start the review.
We open up the show with Hulk Hogan. Yeah, we got to get those mandatory Hogan appearances somehow. Then again, I'm almost convinced Hogan showed up because TNA wanted to get the crowd really active tonight. We can't forget that "remarkable" crowd that witnessed Lockdown this year, right? He introduces us to the PPV and says TNA is only gonna get better. I could make a joke here, but I'm gonna let it slide. Hogan also announces that the Austin Aries/Samoa Joe match will be for the X Division championship. Well, that adds a little more intrigue to the match, but it isn't much to go on. Think about it? This match got almost no build up and they are really scratching to make people get hyped up for the contest. Well, can't judge a book by its cover, right?
Match #1: Austin Aries vs Samoa Joe; X Division Championship match
I should bring up the crowd before I continue with the rest of this review. This is miles better than the crowd at Lockdown. This was a really good crowd. That's something that would really help the show for the rest of the night. Despite being a match with almost no storyline, Aries and Joe delivered a good match. To be fair, I kinda expected that, but the live crowd really made this pop out. This was a great way to open up the PPV. In fact, it was a strong contender for the Match of the Night. Not bad for a storyline that started with the defacing of a pie-eating contest trophy……if you're going by bulls*** I cam up with. The finish comes when A Double hits the Brainbuster for the clean victory. This was a fun match. I advise checking it out if you want to give it a chance.
Winner via pinfall and still X Division Champ: Austin Aries
Match #2: Hernandez vs Kid Kash
Wait, what? What's this doing on PPV? I know I should be optimistic about this, but this is something you throw on free TV as a joke, not on PPV. It also doesn't add up since both guys have been gone for months on this program, so you really have that "WTF" look when you see this match. Hernandez ended up winning with the top rope splash for the clean victory. Can we get back to the PPV now? The next match should be better, right?
Winner via mindf***: Hernandez
Match #3: Devon and Garett Bischoff vs Robbie E and Robbie T
WAIT!!! GO BACK!!! Give me the two invisible performers in this company!!! Dammit!!! Garett gets the crapped kicked out of him during this match. Yeah, watch out for this guy!!! He's got star potential written all over him. He's going so far that he's reaching for the stars…..towards that unemployment line. What does TNA see in Garett that I'm not seeing? Madison Rayne is watching this match. She really wants a piece of the Devon/Garett/Robbie E/Robbie T/referee/random guy in third row strudel. Yeah, let's go with that. Devon wins this match with the Spinebuster on Robbie T. I really hope this rivalry is dead after this. If TNA keeps this going, I think I'm gonna punch someone. Hey, you know you're thinking it too.
Winner via bland writing: Devon and Garett Bischoff
Match #4: RVD vs Mr. Anderson vs Jeff Hardy; #1 Contender match
Time for your monthly RVD/Anderson/Hardy match. Seriously, can we take a break from these matches? I swear that each one is worse than the previous match. You know creative has nothing for you when they keep putting you in the same match. Some people might like this match, but it didn't quite do it for me. I'm not saying it was a bad match. It was a decent contest, but I really want to see these three get separate programs. I'll settle for A program at this point. The finish comes when Hardy hits the Swanton Bomb and seems to have the match, but Anderson pulls the ref under the ring. After Anderson took out Hardy, he would eventually hit the Mic Check on RVD for the victory. So, it appears that Anderson will be getting the next title match. This honestly was the best way to go. RVD and Hardy have had their chances this year. While I'm not a big fan of Anderson, it would be a nice change of pace. Even though it would be considered irony that an asshole would fight another asshole. Opps!!! Is that a minor spoiler?
Winner via pinfall and NEW #1 Contender to World Championship: Mr. Asshole (I'm surrounded by assholes)
Match #5: Crimson vs James Storm; Crimson's Open Challenge
Crimson comes out and talks about his undefeated streak. We have losing streaks more impressive than Crimson's winning streak. The person who accepted the match turns out to be James Storm. Its been a while since we've seen Storm. It was just a while back where Storm was talking about the idea of retirement, but he has finally returned after a two month break. I personally think the return was slightly rushed. I would've loved the idea of Storm returning to compete in the Bound for Glory Series as a confidence booster, but we have no idea if TNA is going to be doing the BFG series again. Regardless, Storm has returned early and he easily takes out Crimson with the Last Call Super Kick. Crimson's streak is over….and nobody seems to care. I know people are going to complain about this, but the streak was very mediocre and there's no real crime with it ending tonight Hey Crimson, sorry about your damn luck….
Winner via pinfall: James Storm
Aries cut a promo backstage. He talks about wanting to join the main event. Why? Because he's the greatest man who ever lived and already gave Joe a new trophy. Dixie Carter comes out and thinks she has the best wrestlers in all of professional wrestling. Oh, I'm sure this caused some outrage between WWE and TNA fans on the wrestling forums. She does the normal speech in how nobody gave TNA a chance and she's proud that they have made it this far. The company may be growing, but it has a long way to go until it can compete with WWE. Impact can't even beat out Smackdown yet, let alone Raw. Still, I wish TNA the best. I really do want to see this company succeed, despite what others seem to think. Dixie announces that Sting will be the first inductee in the TNA Hall of Fame. I still think this TNA HoF is a joke. I'm sorry, but a HoF after 10 years is ridiculous. This announcement is ridiculous. This review is ridiculous. I'm ridiculous. I think I went off on a tangent again. I'm almost convinced they built this HoF JUST for Sting……and Jeff Jarrett. Hey, you know it's coming.
Match #6: Gail Kim vs Tessmacher; KO Title
For a KO match, this was a fair match. The finish comes when Tessmacher get a rollup victory on Gail, We have a new KO champ. How do I feel about this? Eh? It's okay, but it's nothing that's gonna change the foundation. After the match, Tessmacher gives one of the worst victory speeches I've ever heard. She talks about overcoming many obstacles and the common stereotypes. She claims this victory is epic…..
I get what she's trying to do here, but she comes off as delusional. What obstacles has she overcome? I guess if you want to go by the kayfabe of her starting off as Eric Bischoff's bitch, you might have an argument, but it's a little much to buy. What's this whole stereotype she's' talking about? Didn't she compete in a Hooters contest within the last year? Plus, doesn't her character come out and act like a stripper? I can keep going here, but I think I made my point. Congrats on the victory, but let's be a little more realistic here. Even for WRESTLING LOGIC, this is a little much.
Winner via crazy and NEW KO Champ: Tessmacher
Match #7: Bully Ray vs Lawyer-Boy
Joseph Parks is going to fight in a jumpsuit. Okay, I gotta be honest…..I liked this match. I know people are going to crap all over this, but this match was so stupid that it was hilarious. There are moments in pro wrestling that are so stupid that they are stupid, but there are times where it's so stupid that it's funny. People can say it's over the top, but pro wrestling has pretty much made its foundation on being over the top. I love Joseph's reactions to everything going on in this match. He grabs a chair and acts like he just touched it for the first time in his life. What is this? A chair? How do I react to this? What should I do? Start swinging it, you moron!!! He also does the same thing when he manages to hit Bully. Did he sign up for a fight or a game of charades? For a lawyer, he's pretty damn stupid. Then again, that's what makes it funny. The finish comes when Joseph rolls under the ring. Abyss pops out of the ring moments later and Chokeslams Bully through a table. Abyss goes under the ring, but out comes Joseph. So…..how did Joseph and Abyss not run into each other while down there? It's WRESTLING LOGIC, so who cares. Joseph comes out and pins Bully for the victory. I'll say this. He changed his clothes pretty damn quickly. Clark Kent has a telephone booth, but Joseph has a ring. Like I said, I expect people to crap all over this match because of logic and the fact it wasn't a good wrestling match. It's Bully Ray vs a lawyer, so what the hell did you expect? You knew it was mostly going to be a comedy match with that random Abyss appearance, so why the outrage? Because people take pro wrestling way too seriously. I'm probably the minority here, but I advise checking out this match if you shut off your brain and allow yourself to laugh.
Winner via shenanigans: Joseph Parks
Hogan comes out once again tonight. Hey, it's in his contract to make more than one appearance in a show. Hogan introduces Christian Cage and……what? Christian Cage? The same Christian Cage that goes by the name Christian? The very same Christian that is currently the Intercontinental Champion in the WWE? What is going on here? Did we enter the Twilight Zone? Did I break the TV? This is kinda bizarre, but it's pretty cool. Christian comes out and talks about the fan support that TNA has had over the years and shows off the #1 moment in the history of the company, which turns out to be Sting's first appearance in TNA. Other than that, Christian didn't do anything else. So, I guess the WWE was returning the favor when TNA allowed Ric Flair to appear at the WWE Hall of Fame earlier this year? Other than that, he didn't mention anything about WWE and kept it pretty professional. I like the way it was handled. Still, this will only stir up more IWC/dirt sheet headlines for the next few weeks. I say it was just a simple appearance and nothing more. With that said, look for people to analyze the hell out of it and think an invasion or a merge is coming. If you want to go analyze this moment, go right ahead, but I'm gonna stay out of this one.
Match #8: Christopher Daniels and Kaz vs AJ Styles and Kurt Angle; Tag Team Championships
This was a really good match. It was fast-paced, given lots of time, and it was just a great match to watch. I'm having a hard time deciding on which match was my favorite, but it's definitely between this match at the Aries/Joe match. The finish comes when after a million counters/close calls, Kurt finally locks in the Ankle Lock on Kaz and we have new Tag Champs. Some people can see this as the idea that TNA is killing the AJ/Dixie storyline, but I don't see that at all. With Kaz and Daniels not being the champs anymore, it can allow them to really dig deeper with this storyline. Personally, the tag title switch doesn't mean anything for me. The tag division is a joke and is just there because……well, because they want it there. There was nothing new brought forth in the AJ/Dixie deal. I guess they will save that for Impact this week.
Winner via submission and NEW Tag Team Champs: Kurt Angle and AJ Styles
Match #9: Robert Roode vs Sting; TNA World Championship
Time for the final match of the night. For a main event, it wasn't that exciting. The match was fair, considering the age difference. It was also nothing special. A good chunk of this match took place outside of the ring. Sting actually locks in the Scorpion Death Lock on Bobby on the outside, but it doesn't count since it was not in the ring. The finish comes when Bobby uses one of Storm's beer bottles to smash Sting over the skull with it. Instead of questioning the broken glass, the ref makes the three count. It's always funny how they never question the weapons……unless the script calls for it. After the match, Sting gets back up and is super pissed. He gets Bobby and hits the Scorpion Death Drop off the stage. The show ends with Sting standing tall. With the finish, Sting will definitely get a rematch. I kinda expected this, but I was also hoping that it wouldn't continue. Since Sting/Roode is gonna continue, it really takes a lot out of Anderson's victory tonight. Chances are that it will turn into a Triple Threat match, but we will wait and see.
I thought this was a pretty good show by TNA. This was probably the best PPV I've seen out of TNA all year long. While only a few of the matches stood out that made the show work, what really helped everything was the live audience. The audience simply made this show come alive. They were loud and passionate throughout the night. I think it was because of them that the show came out very well. I didn't have high expectations going into this match. Mainly because of the lackluster buildup and the mediocre card going into it, but it turned out to be a pretty fun show. I was also impressed with the set design. While not on the level that WWE throws at you, I thought the ring and titantron looked awesome. I personally liked this show and I think for a tenth anniversary of TNA, I was okay with tonight's approach. On a scale of 1-10 and 5 considered average on here, I would give TNA Slammiversary 2012 a 7 out of 10. Some might consider that a very high score, but I don't give a s***. I think TNA put together a great showing and I'm gonna acknowledge it. I just hope they can roll with this and continue to get better. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.
WrestlingNerd's Official Score of TNA Slammiversary 2012: 7 out of 10