What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 1/26/12. I just want to get this one over with, so let's go.
We open up the show with brawling. This is going to be the theme of tonight. They went overboard with brawls tonight. Yeah, we are off to a great start. Jeff Hardy and Bully Ray are brawling backstage. It's pretty underwhelming. Chances are if you hate TNA brawls, you will hate this show. They are brawling backstage….at least that's what I hope. It honestly looked like a construction site. Robert Roode arrives in a pickup truck and immediately starts to attack Hardy. They take him out and starting loading him onto the pickup. Oh great, TNA opens up with the option that two men are going to rape a stoner. That's exactly what I wanted to see. James Storm arrives to help out Hardy, but they take him down. Sting arrives with a bat and the brawl finally ends. That was the first seven minutes of the show. I'm generally not a big fan when they do these brawls. They just feel really phoned in and it isn't entertaining from my perspective. Maybe others enjoy it, but I don't.
Match #1: Velvet Sky vs Tara vs Mickie James; winner is #1 Contender to KO title
So, we open up with a brawl that can take you out of the action. Then, you follow it up with a KO match. They are almost telling you to change the channel. Oh well, let's give it a chance. The match was okay, at least for KO standards. I found myself getting distracted with this match since there was a moment where a big chunk of hair was ripped off by one of the ladies. Judging by the color, it looks to be Mickie's hair. Somebody must have been really pissed off to rip off that much hair. It's sad that the snake hair is more interesting than the actual match. The finish comes when Tara hits a Sidewalk Slam on Velvet, but she slammed her on top of Mickie. Tara pins Mickie and she will get a title match. What? If you have been following TNA, this makes no sense. They were building up this Mickie/Gail Kim rivalry, and it just seems like a "spur of the moment" decision to put Tara in a title match. You have to build these things up or else the audience will get confused. I just don't like the move. Maybe they had a change of plans, but this needed to be planned first.
Winner via pinfall and NEW #1 Contender to KO title: Tara
After watching a replay of the opening brawl (because it was SO GOOD the first time around), Sting, Hardy, and Storm head to the ring. Sting calls out Roode and Bully. The bad guys show up and….they brawl again. Sting breaks it up and….they brawl again. He separates them again and…..they brawl once more. This isn't a wrestling show anymore…..it's a really bad version of Super Smash Bros. Damn, I really wish I was playing SSB right about now. Sting makes it Roode and Bully vs Hardy and Storm for later tonight. By the way, great job in addressing the world championship matter on this show. It's like they completely forgot about it. I think they held off on it since they are doing a show in the UK next week, but it seems pretty silly to not address anything regarding a world title match for the PPV. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the title match at Against All Odds turns out to be a Fatal 4Way match. Just as Sting makes that announcement, I want you to take a guess as to what happens next. Seriously, take a wild guess. I will give you some time……..
…Oh….you still want me to finish this review, don't you? *SIGH*, I was kinda hoping to get out of reviewing the show…… Anyway, THEY ARE STILL BRAWLING!!! Jesus Christ on a pogo stick while riding Hilary Duff, why are they doing this? We get it, they hate each other. JUST STOP!!! I'm starting to go crazy again. After about 5 million brawls, Storm wants it to be a Tables match. It seems like we have been seeing a lot of tables matches with both companies lately. It's a Table match orgy.
Eric Young sees a black guy and immediately calls him Sammy. He must be referring to Sammy Davis Jr. Yeah, that's not stereotyping at all. Once he leaves, Angelina Love and Winter arrive and start flirting with Young. They try to sneak a low blow on him, but Eric's balls are apparently made of steel. After Eric reveals he was wearing a protection cup, the ladies leave. Prepare for your mind to get freaked. ODB shows up and says she was looking for that cup. That would explain a lot…and I do mean A LOT. I don't really like this comedy pairing. I just can't get into this whole thing. And I'm really trying to like it, but I just can't.
Match #2: Alex Shelley vs Zema Ion
Okay, we finally get to something good. This was actually a entertaining match. What ruins it is Tazz and Tenay's commentary. They were talking about Zema's hair and how Tazz and Zema have the same barber. I almost feel like I should mute the commentary whenever I watch TNA so I don't have to listen to Tenay talk. Still, the match was fine. My only problem with this is they were trying something with Zema last month, but they now have stopped. TNA really needs to stop doing that. Why invest so much screen time into someone if you are just going to pull the plug? I realize WWE is guilty of doing this as well, but this problem is more noticeable on TNA. The finish comes when Shelley hits Sliced Bread for the clean victory. With the win, Shelley will get a title match against Austin Aries at the PPV.
There was a Tara interview backstage. She talks about her upcoming title match against Gail KIm and how they know each other. If you listen closely, you can hear Shelley's entrance music in the background. It's like TNA's production staff is trying to film the show as fast as they can so they can go to the bar asap. Actually, that would explain a lot.
I'm gonna get so many angry complaints for this review. I just know it. There was also a "on location" scene in which Eric Bischoff confronted his son, Garett Bischoff. They are at some local gym and Eric wants to meet his trainer. Eric takes on look at him and immediately runs away and makes sure the cameraman can't get a shot. Oh my God, It's Casper. It all makes sense now. Eric freaked out since he saw nobody, so a ghost is training his son. Casper is going to come along and destroy us all. They all thought I was crazy, but now who's….okay, I don't need to play along anymore. Regardless, they will keep this under wraps for at least a few more weeks, but I wouldn't be surprised if they reveal it next week. I already gave my thoughts on this subject last week, so no need to repeat myself. At least the Eye of the Boredom's appearance was short this week.
Match #3: Angelina Love and Winter vs Eric Young and ODB
Okay, it was during this match where I think I lost my damn mind. Based on how this review has gone, that's really saying something. This was really a stupid match. It seriously might have been the worst match this year. I mean, when you have Eric trying to sneak a pass at Winter, Eric grappling with the referee (THIS ISN'T FUNNY!!! STOP DOING IT!!!), a botched Bronco Buster by ODB, and a double helicopter spin, it's just an eye sore. Hey, I like comedy as much as the next guy, but this was just ridiculous. The commentary was pretty bad during this part. Tazz and Tenay were trying to get into it, but it just feels forced. I just really didn't like this whole bit. Let's just move on. The finish comes when ODB hits a slam for the victory.
Winner via pinfall: Eric Young and ODB
Abs and Calves (Roode and Bully) are arguing. Roode seems to be getting paranoid. It must be the PRECIOUS!!! Regardless, the trust factor for both guys is starting to wear off. Well, they are both bad guys.
Match #4: Matt Morgan vs Samoa Joe
This was a match I really couldn't get into. It wasn't bad, but nothing amazing either. The finish comes when Morgan hits a Lariat Clothesline for the victory. After the match, Magnus shoves Crimson against the steel steps and the two take out Morgan in the ring. They may not be able to win matches, but they mean business.
Winner via pinfall: Matt Morgan
Back in the ring where AJ Styles is demanding to know why Kaz has turned on him. Christopher Daniels and Kaz arrive. Daniels says he's sick of AJ complaining since the golden boy always gets what he wants. Are you sure about that? Kinda hard to agree with that when AJ has been mostly out of the main event for about 2-3 years. Anyway, AJ turns his back and says he wants Kaz to show his true colors. Kaz doesn't want to do it, but the puppet master continues to bark his orders. Daniels tries to attack AJ, but AJ scouts it. With Daniels down, AJ tells Kaz he's willing to forgive him if he just joins him in the ring. Kaz is about to get in the ring, but Daniels orders him not to. He listens to Daniels since he has no balls. Daniels says he will ask Sting to book Kaz vs AJ at the PPV. I think the main thing that is keeping me invested in this storyline is the possibility of what could be forcing Kaz to latch onto Daniels. Then again, why do I get the feeling it will end up being a disappointment? By the way, the Impact Zone continues to annoy the hell out of me. There was a few instances where they just started counting randomly. During the bit where AJ had his back turned, they counted until someone got in the ring. That is amazingly stupid. I think the Impact Zone is a contributing factor for people not being interested in TNA. When did the Impact Zone turn into a bunch of moms?
Match #5: James Storm and Jeff Hardy vs Robert Roode and Bully Ray; Tables match
Oh goodie. The glorious squint-o-vision makes a return. They went back and forth between a double screen shot and a single shot. The action was split apart as the four just beat the hell out of each other. It's funny how they called this a tag team match, but it was more of a tornado tag match. It's a free for all, but that's probably the best way to make a match like this work. The duel screen shots didn't last long, so at least they learned from the last time they did that. The action eventually starts taking place in the ring. Overall, the match was okay to watch. Not too bad. Not too bad at all. The finish comes when Storm hits a flying elbow while Roode is on top of a table. After the match, Bully starts beating up Hardy and Storm with a chair. Bully eventually goes to the top rope and powerbombs Hardy through a table. The show ends with the medics attending to Hardy. I really didn't like how Roode took the lose here. Then again, I'm starting to see this deal where Bully will possibly screw over Roode in order to get the title. In that sense, maybe it did make more sense for Roode to lose this match. They planned an injury angle with Hardy at the end of the show. Not really sure why. It's possible they are writing Hardy out of the show. I have heard reports of Hardy being injured, but I don't like to make much out of the dirt sheets. I guess we will wait and see what's going on when they are in the UK.
Winners: James Storm and Jeff Hardy
I really wasn't a big fan of Impact tonight. The last couple of shows haven't sit well with me. I think they have taken several steps back since I saw this company actually go out there and put together a good show this year. I guess if you're a big fan of brawls, you will probably enjoy this show. I don't really like brawls, especially when they start going through a rinse cycle. In that sense, I wasn't big on the segments tonight. The matches were a mixed bag. Some of them were pretty good, but a few of them were pretty uneventful. I have seen Impact do better and I really didn't like what they did tonight. I lost my mind yet again in case you read the full review. Maybe I really am crazy and/or insane? That's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I don't think a SD review is likely for this week. Mainly because of the Royal Rumble Rundown. I can maybe give some brief thoughts of the show at the end of the RR Rundown, but I wouldn't count on it. Seems like I always miss SD reviews on the weeks I actually do Rundown articles. It's almost a running pattern, but I don't like to double post on the same day. Okay, I'm just rambling now, so I need to wrap this up. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show, see you next time.