What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling on 1/19/12. Let's just get this over with and begin.
We open up the show with James Storm. James talks about being the #1 Contender and how he will be challenging for the world title at Against All Odds. Jeff Hardy interrupts and talks about how he got screwed over twice by Roode and deserves another shot. Storm brings up the fact that he got screwed over as well. Dammit, how about you guys quit screwing around…
Exactly. Roode interrupts and says the stipulation for the Storm/Kurt Angle match was the winner would get to face the winner of Roode/Hardy. Since there was no winner in that match, Storm didn't win anything. Of course, it makes perfect sense *cue sarcasm*. Sting arrives and says it will be Hardy vs Storm in a #1 Contenders match. It seemed like a basic opening to the show. They did exactly what I thought they would do. I mean, it's only logical to make it Hardy/Storm after the events of last week. I still expect a triple threat, so we will wait and see what happens. There was a backstage scene in which Angelina Love challenged Eric Young to a match. You read that right. Angelina vs Eric for later tonight. I really wish I was joking at this very second.
Match #1: Gunner vs AJ Styles
Gunner makes watching wrestling a chore. I'm sorry, but his matches tend to really drag and be kinda boring. Well, Styles tired to make it interesting, but only so much one person can do. What I found hilarious his how TNA asked the fans what's their opinion on the Styles/Kaz deal. You can send your thoughts on their twitter page. Why do I get the feeling this is where Vince Russo gets some of his ideas? The finish comes when Flair distracts the referee. Probably bragging about the fact he will be wearing two WWE HoF rings. Kaz and Christopher Daniels arrive and Daniels tells Kaz to do the "right" thing. While Flair is showing off his bling, Kaz attacks Styles. This allows Gunner to hit a DDT and win the match. Once again, Kaz didn't seem like he wanted to do the attack. This means that Daniels has some type of power or leverage over Kaz. As I said last week, I will give this storyline a chance. I try to give everything an equal opportunity….or at least I hope.
Winner via pinfall: Gunner
Backstage where Bully Ray is demanding for a world title match by randomly shouting. Sting doesn't seem interested. Maybe Bully should've thought of another argument for convincing the boss?
Match #2: Magnus vs Crimson
Very short match. Crimson was mostly on his back, but sneaks in the Sky High Powerbomb and wins the match. After the match, Samoa Joe arrives to attack Crimson. Matt Morgan should've show up right away, but it seemed he was running late. Maybe he was in the bathroom? Let me do that right….IN THE BATHROOM. Morgan attacks Magnus and Joe, but the bad guys take him down. This scene ends with the heels standing tall. You can go ahead an pencil in Morgan and Crimson vs Joe and Magnus at the next PPV.
Winner via pinfall: Crimson
Backstage where Eric Young is talking to the cafeteria lady. Eric has eaten too many paint chips since he thinks she is a MMA fighter. I know it's stupid, just go with it. After that "hilarity", ODB arrives and talks about Eric's match with Angelina. Eric doesn't want to fight a woman, but ODB says if he wins he will get something special. I don't know if I should be horrified or concerned for my life at this very moment. Well. let's move on. We also get a Garett Bischoff training montage. I was so bored that I thought of my own lyrics for this bit. This goes to Survivor's Eye of the Tiger.
It's the eye of the boredom
Its the turd of the night
Risin' up to kill all of our brain cells
And the fact no one seems to care about this show, isn't shocking
And he's damaging us all with the eye….of the boredom
It's official. This review has completely gone to hell. This might be the worst thing I have ever written.
Match #3: Mickie James vs Madison Rayne; Steel Cage match
To be fair, this was a passable match between these two ladies. The problem is I don't think it really caught the eye of viewers to check out this match. I know the Knockouts tend to get this show the highest ratings, but I don't think it's really saying much when most of the people tuning in are probably not wearing any pants. That's progress for you. The finish comes when Mickie hits the Delayed DDT on Madison for the victory.
Winner via pinfall: Mickie James
Okay, we finally get to the best scene of the night. Austin Aries comes out and talks about how he's the greatest man who ever lived and he has no more competition on this show. He totally has a point there when you have wrestlers who think they are football players in this company. Alex Shelley makes his return and wants to be the guy to take down Austin. Aries brings up the fact he wants to face off against a man, not a boy. The two exchange words until Shelley wants to get a X Division title match. Austin says Shelley needs to earn it, so he wants him to beat someone. Shelley says he will do one better and let Austin pick his opponent. If Shelley wins, he gets a title match. This was definitely my favorite scene of the night. It was about time they brought back Shelley. Even though I think he is most useful in tag team wrestling (When Chris Sabin is in the picture), the guy can still be used in the X Division. Unlike most of the guys in the X Division, Shelley can actually talk on the mic. Of course, he's not as great as Aries on the mic, but he can be pretty tolerable. I think this can be a great rivalry if they actually put the time and effort into it. I wouldn't be surprised for this to be another opponent for Aries to go over, but I hope this is a program that can go for more than one match; regardless of what happens.
Match #4: Eric Young vs Angelina Love
There was a pretty pointless backstage scene in which Winter took out ODB. It would be pointless since ODB would show up later in this match. I am not the biggest fan of Eric's comedy, but some people seem to like it. I just find it more stupid than anything else. The Impact Zone might love it, but these fans don't even have to pay to watch this product. Imagine giving a hobo free food to watch this? Yeah, I'm sure he would cheer for the silly moments as well. It's a sad way of looking at it. I'm sorry, but it's beyond retarded when Eric has to grapple with the referee three times in the same match. The finish comes when Angelina kicks Eric in the happy place, thus resulting in a DQ. After the match, ODB arrives for the save, but Winter and Angelina were too much. Eric tosses them over the ropes. He won't hit a woman, but will toss women about 10-8 feet off the ground. Yeah, that's reassuring. After that, this makes ODB super horny and she kisses him. Well, that's……actually, I'm not sure how to feel about all of this. Let's just continue.
Winner via DQ: Eric Young
Match #5: James Storm vs Jeff Hardy; #1 Contenders match
This was probably the best match of the night. It wasn't bad. The finish comes when Bully Ray arrived and attacked the referee. I like how the ref takes a chained up fist punch to the back by doing a superman belly flop. Why not slip on a banana peel while you're at it? Anyway, Bully continues to attack both guys until a backup ref arrives. Bully punches him out. A third referee arrives, but Bully punches him out. What is this, a Nintendo boss? Punch them down three times and you rescue the princess. Anyway, Sting arrives with a bat and attacks Bully. They head to the back. Roode arrives and says since he's the world champion, he issues this match a no contest. That's how the show ends. Well, I know people are getting sick of seeing the heavy amount of the overbooked matches you get with TNA, but it was pretty much expected based on how things have been looking. It makes more sense for this to be a triple threat title match since this whole rivalry started off with Roode and Storm. It could be time to tie up the loose ends….or so I think. I don't know if this is what they are planning, but I personally hope so. Come on, TNA can't drop the ball again…..right……RIGHT?
This was a pretty boring episode of Impact. It wasn't terrible, but nothing about it really stands out. The only scene I liked was the Aries/Shelley promo. The Hardy/Storm match was okay and they set up the events for down the road, but something about it doesn't really seem exciting tonight. I think it was all the stuff in between that can take you out of the show. I got so bored that I came up with some terrible lyrics in order to poke fun of Garett Bischoff and his blandness. It was just a dull show from top to bottom. I can't recommend it since it was boring. Not the worst Impact, but not a good Impact either. It felt like a filler episode for the most part, but just not entertaining filler. That's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Who am I kidding? This is the worst review I've ever written. Who wants to read this? Tell me what you thought of this review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show, see you next time.