Friday, July 22, 2011

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling Review 7/21/11 (Wrestling ass!!!)

What is up wrestling fans, I am the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we.....once again take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling on 7/21/11. After last week's trash fest, how would TNA make it up or would they continue the downhill spiral? Well, let's get this over with and start the review.

We open up the show with Sting. He is still continuing the Joker deal and talks about being champion and Immortal. He also talks about how being insane is awesome.......I have no comment. Anyway, he calls out Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff, but an evil clown shows up on the entrance ramp. It is revealed to be Kurt Angle....again. Well, it didn't take long for TNA to add in pointless scenes. Angle gets in the ring and says he helped him last week because it felt it was the right thing, but he needs to win that championship at the Hardcore PPV because there is no choice. Immortal music comes on, thus Bully Ray and Mr. Anderson arrive. Bully says its Sting and Angle vs Anderson and himself later tonight while Anderson barely says anything. Wow, so you mean to tell me Anderson goes from world champion to being Bully's bitch in a span of a week? I am sorry, but how am I suppose to believe Anderson joining Immortal was going to be a big deal when they are already turning him into a sidekick? Just completely ridiculous. Sting continues to like more insane than the grandpa from Hey Arnold. Then again, unlike Sting, Grandpa from Hey Arnold was actually funny while Sting seems to be forcing it. Oh man, I miss that show. Why can't I be watching THAT right now?

Match #1: Scott Steiner vs RVD in a BFG Series Match
Well, at least TNA has refrained from putting on any more of these matches on house shows as of late. Then again, I imagine that will change because....its TNA. This matchup was nothing special, but it has to end in a stupid manner. The finish comes when Steiner does that usually deal where he does a few push ups after an attack. For some reason, Steiner argues with the ref (Yeah, try making sense out of that) and this allows RVD to sneak up and get a rollup for the quick pinfall victory. I have no idea what Steiner was complaining about. How can the ref make a count when you don't even cover him? If you weren't too busy showing off, maybe you would have won the match. Maybe he was still shocked that he got cock block from a clown last week. Then again, he had no shot of getting So Cal Val. It's amazing how TNA makes Immortal to be a bunch of idiots. These are supposed to be the best bad guys in the company, but they lose to a bunch of clowns, can't keep a world title, and now argue over pointless s***. And your trying to tell me "The Network" can't take down Immortal? Come on, the Muppet Babies are more threatening than Immortal.

Winner via pinfall: RVD

Because wrestling matters, time for a series of KO related segments. I need to warn you that this was a very heavy KO show. I don't even want to begin to wonder what the hell Russo is thinking. So, you challenge the WWE by showcasing the KOs as much as possible? Anyway, Mickie James calls out Velvet Sky. She arrives and....she is wearing a "let the pigeons loose" T-shirt? What the hell? That would be like Trish Stratus wearing a T-shirt with the phrase "Puppies" plastered all over it. I don't know what is more sad, the fact Sky is acknowledging what Tazz is doing under the broadcast table every week or the fact that stupid shirt even exist. So, Mickie talks about how Sky has been getting a lot of crap shoved towards her and how she she doesn't deserve it. She says that tonight's match will be awesome. Yeah, a KO title match.....just what I wanted for Christmas. To still make you wonder why this is being addressed on the show, Winter and Angelina Love come out and Love says Winter has been showing her that Love is mistreated in the company. Are you kidding me? Love, you have won the damn title five times and the company literally bends over backwards to keep you in the spotlight. Heck, I would even go further to say you don't even deserve it because there are far more talented women competitors and you really need to take off the whore makeup because I have never seen a woman use so much make up in my entire life. Anyway, Winter talks about how they will get the title back for the both of them and that ends the segment. Wait, so....are we suppose to forget that Love and Winter almost tried to kill each other around a month ago and were showing signs of separation? This was not a good segment. I really didn't see the point for the promo between Mickie and Sky because we already know they both play face and faces always show respect for one another. It would have made more sense if this match was set for next week, but it's just odd to have a promo segment that really doesn't do anything only for that match to happen an hour later. I guess you can make the argument that this scene did more for Winter and Love to establish they want the title, but based on what would happen later in the evening, it would further show this scene has no purpose. Thank you TNA for wasting time. You know, when WWE needs to eat up time on SD, they show an old match. When TNA needs to eat up time, they air pointless promos that don't add much to the plots. Again, wrestling matters huh?

To add to the mockery that is going around, we see Sarita and Rosita attack Tara and Miss Tessmacher backstage. They quickly go to a commercial and once we are back on the air, we......are still doing the brawl....

Anyway, this brawl was pretty bad. It was just a bunch of cheap slaps and it seemed to last forever. Is it mandatory for the KOs to have a jumbled up brawl every month? Seriously, this happens all the time in this company. Madison Rayne would come into the scene and jump into the attack. To add more to the madness, Sarita appeared to be wearing some sort of mask. We would get an explanation as to why she is wearing a mask, but it comes off as lazy on TNA's part. What happened was there was a brawl between Mex America and Tara/Tessmacher a while back. Oh, great job TNA on saying when this took place, so we are just suppose to assume it happened last week or something. This was done on a cell phone camera in a parking lot and it was revealed that Sarita got a broken jaw from this attack. The camera was so dark that you can't tell who was who, so I wouldn't be surprised if there was stunt doubles in the work. TNA.....if your going to shoot a brawl, get a good cameraman, an actual camera and not a stupid phone, put some freakin lighting around the thing and then shoot the damn thing. This just comes off as lazy because it doesn't look any good with the common eye. Again, TNA should at least put some effort into their scenes, no matter how stupid they are because it at least shows they care about their work. Oh, and there was a round of interviews from all the competitors in tonight's BFG Ladder Match in which the winner would win ten points. Samoa Joe continues to half ass promos while Matt Morgan is on pep pills. Again, at least Morgan looks like he wants to be there and is trying. Back to Joe, I know a lot of people say TNA is holding Joe Back, but I am not really seeing the fire and passion out of Joe's eyes anymore and he is really getting more lazy these days. Why doesn't TNA push you Joe? Because your not going the extra mile anymore and are just half assing stuff like what Carlito was doing towards the end of his WWE career. If there is one thing that pisses me off, its guys with loads of talents and skill for the business but are pissing it away because of backstage politics or disagreements with management. Come on Joe, I have seen you do better than this. Stuff like backstage politics haven't stopped someone like CM Punk from getting noticed, so take some notes Joe. Anyway, Gunner says generic stuff and AJ Styles is saying stuff until Christopher Daniels interrupts and tells him something from behind doors. Judging by Styles' reaction, it didn't sound like good news. Hey, I guess we have something to look forward to this evening. Oh wait. Never mind because THIS scene would never get mentioned or addressed for the rest of the evening. Sorry, but our creative staff is in another castle....

Match #2: Sarita and Rosita vs Tara and Miss Tessmacher for the KO Tag Titles
Again, why do these belts exist? Ok, we already have things that make no sense within the first few minutes. Ok, so Tara and Stripperella arrive in the ring first. The latinas would come out next, but Tara and Tessmacher would attack from behind by coming out of the entrance. What? Did Tara and Tessmacher hire Harry Potter to magically send them to the back? They they run to the ring and through the stands just to get the attack from behind? Eitherway, this part begs an explanation. They get in the ring an the match begins and OH MY GOD, was it a mess. I know women's wrestling is a little questionable at times, but this was beyond terrible. It just seemed like the ref didn't know what to do half the time and the choreography was really bad. It just seemed like everyone involved didn't know what to do and were trying to make the most out of it. Sarita's mask looks like a poor man's version of the Abyss mask, and that is REALLY saying something. Rayne would come in and do an interference, but it doesn't work since Tara was able to kick out. The finish comes when Tara hits the Sky High Powerbomb (how nice of Crimson to allow another TNA employee the usage of his move, but don't tell Angle about that) and wins the match. What was the point of Rayne's attack if it didn't amount to anything? Not to mention the Tara/Rayne feud should be over and thus she should move on. That is a continuing problem with TNA. Just when you think a storyline is dead, here comes TNA to bring it back to life and show that it means something. Just let it go an move on because your just showing that you have no new storyline because you don't have the creativity to think of something new. Believe me, TNA would show another example of not killing a storyline when it has no business of continuing later in the show. Tara and Tessmacher are now champs.....hooray? I find Mike Tenay's line hilarious in saying that Sarita and Rosita have dominated the KO tag division. What division? Just because a belt exist doesn't mean there is a division. Where are the other tag teams? Better yet, why haven't these belts been done away with like the Megatron belt? Oh God.....I just had to remember that stupid thing....

Winner via pinfall and NEW KO Tag Champs: Tara and the stripper

Match #3: AJ Styles vs Matt Morgan vs Samoa Joe vs Gunner in a Ladder Match, winner wins 10 points in the BFG Series
The wrestlers were competing for a clipboard that said you win 10 points. Climbing a ladder to grab a world title or a briefcase is one thing, but a clipboard with a piece of paper, your the fu***** man. Now, this was an ok match, but there was some things about it that didn't make it look great. For one, they only had one ladder for the entire match. In WWE, they usually have multiple ladders, but not in TNA. Second, the match was too short for a typical ladder match. Third, the competitors were going too fast with the OMG moments and it doesn't really stand out and looks cluttered. Probably one of the worst ladder matches I have even seen. Then again, this was just bad timing on TNA's part since WWE just got done with MITB and had two amazing ladder matches while this just comes off as a poor man's ladder match. You have the talent to deliver a good ladder match, but the biggest problem was the time. They should have doubled or tripled the time so this could make the match stand out. Instead, make room for stupid KO deals and storylines nobody gives a crap about. Again....wrestling matters? I know I make fun of that slogan a lot, but when your bill your company for something but don't live up to it, expect to be critically slammed. The finish comes when Morgan hits Carbon Footprint on Gunner and he climbs the ladder and gets the paper to win the match.

Winner: Matt Morgan

On location with Eric Young who continues to look more like Grizzly Adams with the bushy beard. He stops at some gas station and claims he will overtake all the major celebrities. He thinks he sees someone famous, but its actually D'Lo Brown. Young rolls him up and wins the "match". Where is all of this going? What is the point of this? Its just making a worthless belt a sideshow attraction for comic relief. I know some people find Young funny, but I don't and think this whole thing just comes off as stupid.

Match #4: Brian Kendrick vs Alex Shelley for the X Division Championship
Wow, TNA must be doing everything to quickly erase the Dest X PPV since the title match is already happening. Please, Dest X was the last piece of entertainment I have seen out of TNA lately. I really didn't find the match that interesting, but I suppose it was ok for what it was worth. The finish comes when Shelley hits a devastating finisher on the outside of the ring. As he is trying to get Kendrick back in the ring, Austin Aries comes out of nowhere and hits Shelley with the X Division belt. That KOs him. Kendrick pins Shelley, but he seems confused about all of this. The thing that puzzled me was a quick interview after the match. Kendrick was blaming Aries for ruining the "spirit of competition" the X Division brings by running around doing shenanigans. Kendrick,....HE....IS.....A......HEEL!!! That's what they do. What the hell is wrong with these X Division guys? They are the bad guys. Bad guys cheat, cause shenanigans, flip the world upside down, and are freakin evil. It's just in their nature. So, does every X Division guy have to be a John Cena and do the noble thing? Give me a break Kendrick. Plus, you should be thanking him because he is proving your a paper champion. You needed help to beat Abyss and you could barely handle Shelley. I am starting to think TNA gave the title to the wrong guy and forgot how to build a champion with how Kendrick is doing. Once again, Aries continues to show some entertainment. When he was under the ring hiding from everyone, he was almost sneaking away like what Solid Snake does. This guy's skills are being wasted in the X Division because he can do so much more. This company is a joke. You have a midcard champion walking around on imaginary title defenses with "celebrities", pointless tag titles in a women's division that has one tag team, and now you have lightweights who use to be bad guys throwing the book against a current bad guy. Oh, and let's not forget your current world champion which is being held by Heath Ledger ripoff. Russo, you need to stay away from the Hardy stash because it clearly has an effect on everything going around.

Winner via pinfall and still X Division Champ: Brian Kendrick

During the commercials, I saw an ad by TNA in which they are selling an Immortal DVD. What the f***? This angle isn't even over yet and your already selling a DVD on the freakin stable? What's next, Best of Shark Boy DVD? I'm sorry, but you have to be a total idiot to even THINK about buying this DVD. Mexican Amercia comes out and talks about how they are getting screwed over because they got screwed out of two tag team division titles. He says they are angry and you don't want to see Cheech Marian pissed off. Beer Money arrives and James Storm cuts a promo about being a Southern American while saying Mex America are disgracing other Hispanic based wrestlers like the Guerreros. I generally like what Storm says while cutting a promo, but he seemed all over the place and he may have come off as more of a racist than Mex America. Not to mention this entire scene just screamed racial stereotypes with what Anarquia and Storm were saying. This was just hype up for their Hardcore match, but are you really excited for this match? I just want this day to be over with already.

Match #5: Mickie James vs Velvet Sky for the TNA KO Championship
Wow....TWO KO title matches? I am starting to think TNA is just fu***** with you at this point and just begging you to change to channel. This match didn't even get started as Love and Winter attack both ladies. And speaking of storylines that nobody cares about that TNA feels the need to continue, ODB and Jacki return and attack both Sky and Mickie. Ok, this is where things got really weird because Traci Brooks came out and was helping the face KOs while Love and Winter magically disappeared. I guess Harry Potter is doing a double shift tonight? This scene went on forever. This again was another one of those brawls in TNA that was badly choreographed and was completely mismanaged. TNA security staff shows up. Come on, these guys couldn't protect a donut, much less the wrestlers. As you would have guessed, Jacki and ODB pretty much take out all of the security guards by kicking them in the family jewels and by physically punching them. Ok, if your a security guard and your getting your ass kicked by a woman, you seriously need to rethink your life. A dead guy would make a better security guard than these guys. Since TNA security staff sucks, the Orlando Police Department shows up at arrest ODB and Jacki to end this dreadful segment. TNA......

I seriously don't even know what this company is doing anymore. This brawl seem to last forever and this company doesn't know when to kill a storyline even when nobody cared about it from the beginning. What a joke. These KO segments are so bad that I would rather watch a Best of Kelly Kelly montage than this crappy show. TNA.....what are you doing? Where is the direction of this company? I think AC DC said it best. Highway to Hell....

No Contest

Match #6: Kurt Angle and Sting vs Mr. Anderson and Bully Ray
The match was a joke. Angle went in there and cleaned house and he ended up pinning Anderson for the win. Bully got out of dodge and begins to question Anderson being apart of Immortal. The show ends with a staredown with Angle and Sting. I would have gone into detail on this match, but I just don't care anymore and just want to finish up this review. Vince Russo, go f*** yourself.

Winner via pinfall: Kurt Angle and Sting

Overall Impression:
Wow.....this was even worse than last week. I will admit that this week's matches were slightly better, but when you add two KO matches and draw out the KO storylines nobody seems interested in, your just saying that you don't care anymore. TNA, what happened? You were doing well the last couple of months, but these last two episodes have been beyond terrible and are just making me angry. This company's direction is completely off course. You have a 52 year old man as your world champion. You have KO storylines that get more screen time than midcard or X Division storylines. You have idiots in the X Division that can't seem to grasp the concept of faces and heels. You have comic relief characters that are not funny. You have storylines that keep going even though there is no reason to continue them when you basically wrote the scene that ended the feud to begin with. You have storylines for weeks dedicated on a guy joining a stable or not, but it not amounting to anything. You have stereotypes and racism popping up at every corner of this show. Oh, and you have to dips*** of all dips*** in Russo still writing your show. This whole thing is a mess since TNA can't seem to make up their mind on what to do at times and it just looks really bad. It's amazing how well things in the WWE are going because you have compelling stuff like CM Punk "walking out" with the WWE Championship, Vince McMahon "fired" and Triple H taking over the company. In TNA, you have.....a big pile of s***. Again, this isn't going to get the job done TNA and you need to realize this isn't going to bring in new fans or bring up the ratings. The buildup to this PPV has also been garbage. Sting vs Angle is a match I don't care for, while Beer Money vs Mex America just doesn't grab my attention. Since that is all about I can take, I think we need to end this show. That is going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed seeing me loose every bit of sanity I still had left. There is still SD to look forward to, so I am sure they will be able to give me something that resembles entertainment. Once again, I apologize for the more swearing than usually, but I couldn't hold back once again. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show, see you next time and f*** you TNA.

PS: I am aware of the CM Punk/Comic Con deal and I will briefly talk about that during the SD review. Thank you Punk for showing me that wrestling can be fun. TNA, you really make me wonder why I am a wrestling fan to begin with at times.

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