Tuesday, October 29, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: WWE Hell in a Cell 2013 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at WWE Hell in a Cell 2013. Was this a PPV good, a bust, or somewhere in the middle? Let's find out and begin. 

Opening up strong
We open the show with a fantastic match for the WWE Tag Titles. This might be a ballsy statement, but this was the match of the night in my book. I know most people will take the main event as the best, but this tag match turned a match I had slight interest in and managed to keep me glued to my seat the entire time. Big ups to Usos, Shield, and Golden Rhodes…

Hey, screw you!!! I thought that was a creative name. I can't win anything around here. Anyway, definitely a must watch if you ask me. Cody and Goldie manage to keep their championships this evening by defeating the competition. 

Return of the Fruit Roll-up
After Miz called out the Wyatt family and got attacked by them (Great idea, genius), Kane makes his return and wants to pick a fight with the Wyatts, but he also Chokeslams Miz in the process. It's hard to base a whole lot on Kane's motives at the moment since… well, it's Kane. You know, the guy who beat the s*** out of Pete Rose and got a round of applause. The man can beat up anybody and still gets cheers. It did seem the commentators were trying to play up the fact that Kane committed a crime by attacking Miz, so I guess we have to take that into account… whatever that means. Besides, it isn't like Kane and Miz go way back. Yeah, because when I think of drinking buddies, I think Kane and Miz. Okay, I'll see you after the show…

Midcard awkwardness 
It's more like Fanforgetful…

Due to Curtis Axel being scrapped due to injury, Big E went up against Dean Ambrose for the US Championship. Based on the fact this match was put together at the last moment, you can tell it looked like it. Both guys couldn't really get any chemistry in this match and it just felt very awkward to watch. While I should blame the creative department for putting this match together, I can't really complain because this was the staff trying to make the best out of a bad situation. It blew up in their face, but nobody will remember this match come tomorrow so there's no reason to harp on it. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if the plan was for Big E to become the new Belt-Shiner champion since Curtis is getting tired of shining the belt. If my theory is correct, Big E should eventually defeat Curtis between now and Survivor Series to become a professional belt-shiner. Ah, the next step up the ladder. Oh yeah, Big E won via countout in case you wanted to know. 

CM Punk's redemption
You know, part of me wonders what the hell is going through Paul Heyman's head when he decided to put himself on top of the cell structure. I know the man's scared of CM Punk, but wouldn't it be a worse idea to stand above the ring? What if WWE got the cheap crap and the cell would crumble if you threw a stapler at it? Was it on his bucket list to do a crappy reenactment of King Kong climbing the Empire State Building? Yeah, my mind went lost years ago. In fact, it was exactly like King Kong minus the woman… and the ape… and the building… and the climbing. Okay, it was NOTHING like King Kong! Why was he up there!!! I want an answer, dammit!!! After CM Punk hands Ryback the remains of his career (which wasn't a great match, but much better than the Battleground contest), Punk climbs the cell and proceeds to whip Paul's ass. You know, Paul, nothings' really stopping you from running away. What a bitch of a time to come down with a fear of heights. You know, that Zeb Colter whip would probably come in handy at the moment. Punk finally gets his months of scars and embarrassments by hitting Heyman with a GTS. I know that WWE was trying to go for that iconic moment on top of the cell structure, but you have to do something that leads to a reason to have people on top of that structure. Outside of the lazy writing for this spot, the moment itself wasn't too shabby and it should finally close the book on the Punk/Heyman storyline. This storyline needed to end tonight since its gone on long enough and both people can use a new program. 

Zeb gets violated

It's that time of the night where you get the impromptu match you've seen on Raw and/or Smackdown. Los Matadores take on the Almost Real Americans because…Umm, Zeb stole El Torito's slice of cheesecake? That's a storyline we can get down with! Let's start this party!!! I do like how they brought mention to Torito attacking Zeb. Thank you, El Torito, for goring a big pile of republicanism and hot dogs. Only the WWE can give you things like this. Of course, what's an Almost Real Americans match without the Cesaro swing…

Cena's back and it's like he never left…
John Cena made is return and defeated Alberto Del Rio for the WHC. Geeze, WWE is really going with the fact the internet has labeled Cena, 'Super Cena' based on the fact they keep throwing that around these days. I'm just waiting for the next Cena shirt to literally have the Superman logo mixed in with Cena's mumbo jumbo. I know this is off-topic, but does anybody think Cena looks like a Teletubby on steroids? Yeah, this was something I was thinking the other day… Yeah, I'm a very strange person. I know this is supposed to be a feel-good moment for Cena, but I can't help but think it's the same formula we've seen for almost the last decade. Even the commentators were trying to make this victory and comeback a big deal. Hell, JBL even had to admit he said something wrong and clap for Cena's comeback. I'm sorry if I'm coming off as negative, but it's hard for me to buy into the 'Cena's comeback' deal when he was only gone for two months AND this booking style has been done before. This isn't the first time Cena has come back from an injury and sooner rather than later, he always gets back in the spotlight and becomes champ. Yeah, he's the face of the company and is gonna be booked to look like a beast (Trust me, I get it), but part of me also feels a bit underwhelmed by this. Hell, I think it would've told a better story if Cena had lost (and I'm aware that it wasn't gonna happen) and struggled with the arm injury. It would've made him question himself and if anything, maybe bring something new out of Cena. It also would've added some credibility for Del Rio since his championship reign has been very lackluster, but that isn't what they wanted. They wanted to slap that championship on Cena as if the man never left and that's it. Part of the reason Cena gets so much hate is because of how predictable his booking is. This was a chance to do something a little different and for the time being, it's sticking with the same Cena formula we've seen for many years and I can't help but be disappointed by this. 

Bros over goats
Oh hey, it's everybody's favorite… diva match… yeah…meh… don't care…MOVING ON!!! Hey look, the Prime Time Players and Bob Backlund created an Oreo. There's money in this idea. PTP Oreos, now available at supermarkets! Okay, let's get into the final match of the night. The Orton/Bryan match was good, but it felt very similar to their previous encounters. Perhaps I'm growing tired of the Bryan/Orton matches since they aren't bad, but perhaps it's because I'm at the stage where I just want to fast-forward to the screwy finish. Come on, you know it's coming since the corporation is still new to the point where they're gonna pull out all the cards in order to get what they want, so I just want to see them get to the screwjob half the time. Triple H did come out in the middle of the match and kept pestering HBK to 'do the right thing'. After a ref bump, an unlocked cage and a knee to Trips' skull, the finish finally comes when HBK decides to avenge his fallen friend and kick his former student in the face. By the way, that Sweet Chin Music looked really bad. It didn't even look like he hit Bryan. Somebody messed up that delivery! Anyway, Randy picks the bones and Randy is your new WWE Champion… again. Based on Shawn's emotions, it didn't really seem like a heel turn and more like 'I'll be my best friend's bitch and do what he wants' sort of move. Keep in mind that at the time of this review, I haven't watched or read up on Raw so for the time being, I don't consider this a heel turn. It definitely has the elements for HBK to turn heel, but we have to wait until Shawn explains himself to really determine why he did this. As far as Randy winning the title, it was expected. Bryan probably won't win the title until WrestleMania time. In fact, Daniel Bryan is the early favorite to win the Royal Rumble, but I imagine many people are starting to think this as this time. I know people are raging over tonight's finish but as always in the pro wrestling world, you have to be patient and give these things time to flesh out. The payoff hasn't happened yet and in good time, it will eventually come. You can't jump to conclusions since storylines aren't gonna get their payoffs immediately. 

Overall Impression:
This PPV was very hit and miss in my book. It had elements where it was entertaining and enjoyable, but there were also moments where it just seem to run on auto-pilot. Even though this PPV had more story behind it than the last two PPVs, I don't think you're missing a whole lot if you missed out on this show. While the HBK turn can be a big enough of a surprise for some of you, something about it was always at the back of my mind and in a way, I saw it coming. While the PPV was a step in the right direction, part of me felt it was a bit disappointing. In fact, that's the best way to describe this PPV. While it did entertain me and this was much more enjoyable than Night of Champions and Battleground, I was still a bit disappointed with this showing. I felt like more could've been done with this PPV to really make it stand out. It's possible WWE held back a bit since they might have something game-changing at Survivor Series and want to save the bigger stuff for one of the big four, but I also wouldn't be surprised if this was their 'game-changing swerve'. If I had to give WWE Hell in a Cell 2013 a score between 1-10 and 5 considered average, I have to give it a 6 out of 10…

I think that's a fair score since I would say this was an above average PPV and nothing more than that. If you skipped out on this PPV, you didn't really miss out on much but there is enough here to keep you entertained. The PPV is at least worth viewing once, but maybe only once. I did enjoy this PPV for what it was worth, but I was still wanting more at the end of the day. Yeah, I'm a selfish WrestlingNerd. Anyway, that's gonna do it for this review and I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought of tonight's show and my stupid thoughts. I'll see you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd's Official score for WWE Hell in a Cell 2013: 6 out of 10


  1. I predicted correctly that you would give this show a 6....what do I win?????

    1. You win a Raw review that showed up late... F***!

  2. I agree that this PPV had mixed results. A 6 out of 10 is a correct score in my opinion. To me it was quite predictable. For me at least there was no real build up. I pretty much expected Shawn to screw Daniel Bryant because WWE tried too hard to make Shawn seem fair. Knowing how WWE thinks (like special ed) I was convinced of the childish outcome in the so-called main event. WWE hasn't been the same since the late 90s whern it was very very good. Now it's geared towards kids (under 7). By the way I think El Torito is just Hornswaggle playing another role.

  3. WWE over uses silly gimmicks such as the "blind or hurt referee" as well as the "distraction interference gimmick". Furthermore they repeat the same stupid phrases over and over. They keep saying "trending worldwide" which is meaningless. Also everyone is "bulding momentum" which is incorrectly used. When a rock rolls down a hill it "builds momentum". Wrestlers can either have a good or a bad act. They definitely cannot build momentum.

  4. That may be the reason why he is masked. What other stupid reason would they have for hiding his face?

  5. I like the Golden Rhodes name, too. Sounds a lot better than what WWE creative might actually name the team.

  6. Golddust should just be "Dustin Rhodes". His silly childish gimmick makes him appear more like "fairy dust" that an actual wrestler. This idiotic gay gimmick is pointless and should have been squashed before it ever got started! There's absolutely no sane reason for him to wear a clown suit and appear like he's a homo. How the hell does that help wrestling except for the 5 year old kids?

  7. That's exactly what it's for. The 5 year olds!