Monday, October 21, 2013

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Bound for Glory 2013 Review

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today we take a look at TNA Bound for Glory 2013. After fighting a two-month war in the outskirts of mcfacshiot, it's time to get back to some TNA wrestling. Let's begin.

Perhaps I should explain why I haven't done anything TNA related in two months. The main reason is mostly because I was getting bored with the product and I just couldn't continue reporting on something if my heart wasn't in it. I figured it was best to take a break from it and come back fresh. With that said, I'll probably question a lot of things that have happened weeks/months ago due to the fact I haven't watched OR read anything about what TNA has done in a last few weeks. I know some of the things going on tonight, but not the extreme details. Okay, let's being for reals this time. 

Ultimate Letdown 
The opening match was an Ultimate X match featuring Austin Aries, Jeff Hardy, Samoa Joe (Dafaq?), Chris Sabin, and Manic. Seems like a mixed group of former main events, undercard, and cruiserweight/X Division talent. As always with BFG/WrestleMania-type events, you're gonna have talents get downgraded for the sake of the current storylines/card placement. Hey, it looks like Samoa Joe is competing in an X Division match again! Looks like those nostalgia chubbies are out in full swing this evening…

The finish to the match comes when Sabin uses Velvet Sky as a distraction by… waving her hands in the air…

With Hardy too distracted, Sabin uses this opportunity to climb a ladder and retrieve the X Division championship. That's right, we have a new X Division champion in Sabin while the energy drink, Manic, will look in the mirror and question why he still needs to wear a mask despite the fact he showed his face to the world months ago (He's very shy). I know a lot of people probably got an enjoyment out of this match but it really didn't do it for me due to one simple reason…the freakin' ladder. This is called an Ultimate X match, not an Ultimate Ladder X match. Putting the ladder in play almost defeats the purpose of the wires and posts. Seriously, they might as well be decoration for a Christmas tree. Christmas is comin' early!!! Waaaaaaaa!!! And to be frank, nothing about the match really stands out except for the moment when Sabin just became the king of douchebaggery by putting his girlfriend in danger, so no, I personally don't find this to be that good of a match. 

Modern Day Viking?
The modern day viking…Gunner…Viking? This guy couldn't beat Hagar the Horrible. You know you're stretching for nicknames when you create things like this. But I probably shouldn't be so harsh since this probably took up 5-minutes of their time to come up with. The Bromans become the new TNA Tag Champions for the sake of comedy. To be honest, I didn't mind the tag title change. James Storm and Gunner were already a team put together at the last moment. They shared no chemistry and their overall tag title reign was very forgettable. In fact, I completely forgot they were the tag champs. That's really saying something with a can full of Manic soda as champion leaves more of an impression than Drunken Garbage…or perhaps they should be called Drunken Vikings with the whole viking nickname. Actually, Drunken Vikings sounds like an awesome name for a tag team. WrestlingNerd is officially copyrighting that s***. I'll just slap that on there…

The team of AJ and T--Gail and Lei'D Tapa. Yeah, that's what I meant to say
Kurt Angle declines his 'invitation' to join the TNA Hall of Fame since he really wants a storyline. Might want to remember this for later… or not. The next match on the card is the Knockout title match between ODB, Gail Kim, and Brooke Tessmacher. Since I've been away, it seems Bull Ray traded in a Hogan for a stripper. The thing I'm noticing about Brooke is she's literally playing the same character as before. The only thing different about her is her wardrobe, and even saying THAT is a bit of a stretch. Again, that probably took up another 4-minutes off their time to come up with. Thinking is hard work, man! It's…it's seriously s***, man. Makes you wonder what the writers do with the rest of their time…

The only thing I remember from this match was the ref bump. It's funny how the KO match produces the best ref bump ever. Seriously, he took that drop kick like a champ. Give that guy a raise… or a cut from one of the writers. The finish comes when Lei'D Tapa (Remember her?… Neither do I) arrived to take out ODB and powerbomb Brooke. Gail picks the bones and becomes the new KO champ. After the match, it's teased that Tapa is putting Gail on notice, but quickly shows her allegiance to Gail. Utilizing Tapa as Gail's bodyguard is probably the best way to use her. I need to make one thing perfectly clear. Being this is the pro wrestling business, ideas are gonna get recycled all the time. In fact, about 95-99% of the storylines you see on the air have all been used in the past, but I find it funny how TNA put these two together when only a few weeks ago, WWE had AJ Lee make an alliance with Tamina Snuka. Again, ideas get recycled all the time but you can't help but draw parallels to the timing of all this. 

Kurt and Bobby Roode deliver the best match of the night. It was very enjoyable and the first moment where I started to give a s*** about the PPV, but now it's time to address the odd moments of the match. Yeah, even this match managed to get a couple of those moments that really make you scratch your head and do a double face palm. The first one was the ref going out of the way to put Roode's hand on the rope. I'm not making that up, he literally picked up his hand and put it on the rope. Referee, you got some explaining to do! This could've been intentional for the sake of storytelling, but don't be surprised if he literally just f***ed up. The finish comes when Kurt knocks himself out and Roode is able to pick up the victory. Is it a written rule for people to knock themselves out when wrestling Roode? Anyway, it appears Kurt is hurt and the medics arrived to take him out of th--or not! Yeah, Kurt just gets out of all of that and walks away like nothing happened. I guess somebody whispered to Kurt about the crew having an open bar immediately after the show and he wanted to get his seat asap. What, did they run out of script and told everybody to play grab-ass for five minutes? What the hell happened here? This scene is even more awkward than the ref-up. It's like they couldn't decide to have Kurt walk out on his own power or be carried off, so what you get is both. I know I try to not let a couple of idiot moments ruin the quality of the match, but these two things put a major damper on this match. Seriously, I'm seeing more people talk about the awkward finishes than the match. You know you've done something wrong when that happens. 

Ethan Something the Blah and Magnus' true colors
Derrick Carter the douche debuted this evening in a squash match. The match was meh and the character was…

Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad, but I'm not really impressed. Just like in WWE, the guy has the look and the charisma, but something still seems off about him. Like something about him isn't quite clicking. He's still young and there's potential, so that's a positive. 

I know this is gonna sound harsh, but why is Main Event Mafia around? Wasn't the goal of this group to get rid of Aces and Eights? Considering that AJ Styles is taking on Bully Ray while MEM is too busy fighting each other, it seems this group has lost track of their own goals. Seriously, reforming the MEM is about as good of an idea as a 'Full House' comeback. I think we've gotten all the jokes out of the way, so let's take this seriously for a moment and tell the story. The idea behind this match is Magnus wants to prove himself to be a big time player after having a setback in the BFG Series, so he challenges the 'Godfather', Sting, to a match to prove he's the real deal. It's a very basic idea that pro wrestling's done for years, but it isn't a bad idea. The match was…okay, at best. Not something I would watch again, but not bad considering the circumstances. Magnus gets the victory and appears to give Sting a handshake you would give to that guy at work you don't like. I'm actually okay with this ending since I've always felt Magnus plays a better heel than face. It might be a refreshing change of pace and finally do away with this MEM nonsense. It doesn't even feel like a stable anymore if you look at it. 

Wrapping it up
You know, it's really hard to look at Aces & Eights as a dominate force when they have about as many members as 3MB. Yeah, it seems this stable has done a bit of spring cleaning in my two months away from TNA. Not sure how Garrett Bischoff and Knux avoided the sweepers, but it doesn't really matter. Holy shot-to-the-abdomen-region! Ah, the long, lost battle cry of Robin. Only Tazz can give you 'riveting' commentary such as this. The match wasn't too bad for the most part. I know the main complaint about this match is all the interference, but you had to figure this was gonna happen since Dixie McMahon came into town. I know Dixie's putting a lot of effort into this heel character and is trying to play a Stephanie/Vince McMahon, but it isn't really working. Even when Dixie 'heels out', it feels like she's having to force herself to act mean, while it's more natural for Steph and Vince. While Steph comes off as a total bitch and no remorse for anybody's feelings but her own (which comes across very well on television), Dixie just comes off as a spoiled child who didn't get what she wanted and it just seems foolish. Maybe this is a bit too harsh since I haven't seen much from her character, but nothing about her persona really draws me in. Dixie is probably better utilized by remaining behind the scenes and tweeting because she offers nothing from a character standpoint. I even went out of the way to watch Dixie's heel turn on Styles and how he's a nobody and it was so bad that I had to stop watching. I stopped playing 'Banjo-Kazooie' to watch that? Geeze, this is starting to turn into the never-ending review. Sigh, let's just end this already! Despite all the interference for Bully, Styles is able to overcome the odds and becomes the new TNA world champion. This really doesn't come off as a surprise since it was a shoo-in for Styles to walk away with the world championship. The main payoff was for Styles to get the world title. Now that Styles is the champion, now what do you do next? Only time will tell…

Overall Impression:
The best way to describe this PPV is 'meh'…

I look at this showing and feel it's very average at the end of the day. This felt more like something you would get on free television, not PPV. I know it seemed like TNA went all out by having all the championships change hands and put in a couple of surprises, but some of these title changes/surprises weren't that surprising and some of them were either predictable or uninteresting. I would go further by saying the most surprising title change was the KO title since Tapa's presence came out of nowhere. This is supposed to be TNA's version of WrestleMania and the biggest surprise you can dish out is a big woman powebombing Bully's jailbait? That's your ace in the hole? To be fair, the cocky attitude from Magnus was a very nice touch, but those still aren't enough to really convince me this PPV was something special. I know it sounds like I'm being harsh on TNA, but when you decide to only show four PPVs in a year, you really have to make these stand out and I honestly don't think they really did that tonight. I can see where some of you will disagree with this (And I expect to get a lot of disagreement with this one), but this honestly didn't do it for me. If I have to give this PPV a score between 1-10 and 5 considered average, I give TNA Bound for Glory 2013 a 5 out of 10. I was gonna give this a 6 out of 10, but I had to take off a point because the best match of the night had two of the dumbest moments in the PPV, and that's really saying something when this is the same show that featured the crowning of a tag champion that baths in body glitter. This review has gone on long enough and I need to stop before I continue to piss off more TNA fans. Not sure if I'm back to reviewing TNA on a weekly basis (Seeing as how my schedule is making it difficult just to review Raw), but I'm gonna try to at least update on TNA a little more consistently than what I've done for the last couple of months. This PPV might've been better than Battleground, but that's not saying much. That's like bragging about getting punched in the face compared to getting punched in the face 2-3 times. Do you really want to brag about that? Thanks for reading my nonsense. If you enjoyed any of this bulls***, check out some of my other reviews to see more of my insanity. See you guys and girls in the next one. 

WrestlingNerd's Official Score for TNA Bound for Glory 2013: 5 out of 10


  1. How come you didn't review raw last week

  2. That last label made me laugh and seeing how TNA's biggest PPV of the year fared that night, I'm assuming it'll be another 20 years before you review anything TNA related.