Friday, September 7, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling Review 9/6/12 (Hulk Hogan's gonna kill you!!!)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 9/6/12. With No Surrender set for Sunday, who will be the final four of the BFG series? Let's find out and begin. 

Match #1: Samoa Joe vs Jeff Hardy; BFG Series match
We open up the show with a BFG Series match. Wait, why are they opening up the show with this match? Wouldn't it make more sense to have this match go on last and to start off with the Bully/RVD match? Think about it? Hardy is on the outside looking in and… know what? I'm probably the only one that would even think about asking those questions. We could dive into this, but we need to cover more bulls***. Hardy ended up winning with a submission. Yes, this pencil-neck got this fat samoan to tap out. Only in the pro wrestling world can this happen. I'm convinced Joe tapped out because of Hardy's face paint. If I was up close to that face, I think I would s*** my pants. Wait a minute? Was that the Anaconda Vice? I think Paul Heyman is gonna sue somebody. After the match, Magnus wishes Joe the best of luck. This pretty much tells me that Joe isn't gonna win the BFG Series. Then again, this isn't a surprise. Between the final five, I felt Joe was the most unlikely to get the title shot. 

Winner via submission: Jeff Hardy

Austin Aries and Hulk Hogan talk about dealing with Aces and Eights. Yeah, cuz that plan has worked so well in the past. Seriously, your "old school" nonsense isn't working. Come up with a new idea!!! Hulk is also talking to tag teams about a title match for tonight. I freakin' love this "new" gimmick. Hulk announced that he introduced a new thing called the Championship Series. Basically, Hulk would talk to four people. Those four would make their case for getting a title match. With all the knowledge, Hogan would give that person a title match. That's creative Hulk, but only one problem…..YOU ALREADY HAD THIS!!! This is what they were doing for Open Fight Night, so I fail to see how this is "new". The only thing different is changing the day. It's still the same concept, so TNA had a brain fart moment. Doing things old school means doing things with unoriginal thought. The Knockouts are also talking, and not one s*** was given. I still think Brooke Hogan has added nothing to her role in this division. She's just another pretty face to look at. Maybe that was the idea?

Match #2: Gail Kim vs Tara
This has been on my mind for a while, since I see this argument within the IWC. Divas vs Knockouts, which are better? While I think the Knockouts offer more to the table, I still don't care for the division. With that said, let me throw something out there. Velvet Sky, Angelina Love, and Winter have all left the company in the last few months. If the Knockout division is really that great, why have some of the ladies left in such a small, time period? Oh, because Hulk needs to give his daughter a paycheck bonus. Oh, did I just say that out loud? It could be coincidence, but I'm sure there's something going on behind closed doors. Tara won the match. Do you care? Do….do… you really care?

Winner via pinfall: Tara

Joey Ryan and Al Snow are in the ring. They will give Joey a contract if he can beat this opponent, but it will have to be against Snow. Seems unfair, considering that not ONE of these Gut Check people have won a match and all they did was cut a school spirit promo in order to get a contract. As of right now, he hasn't accepted the match. Well, it's about time they started to move forward with this. You can only show that 87% for so long. 

Match #3: Bully Ray vs RVD; BFG Series
As A Double rapes the captured member of Aces and Eights…..wait, when did they get this guy? Did they capture him last week? Was there a fight earlier in the day? To make this scene more confusing, Hulk arrives and they are both about to kill the guy until the group calls to negotiate a deal. These scenes make Aces and Eights look weak. I mean, was this one of the bad-ass guys taking people out? Now, he's reduced to being that 8-year-old visiting the dentist for the first time? It's quite ridiculous. Not only does that ruin the reputation of the stable, but it makes Hulk look stupid. Why bargain with them? Even for wrestling logic, this is a little much to buy. Anyway, Bully wins with the Bully Cutter. This was probably the best match of the night. RVD and Bully had some good chemistry. With the victory, Bully moves on to No Surrender, while RVD is out of the tournament. Once again, RVD's showboating screws him over. You think he would try to wise up from this, but wrestling logic will say otherwise. Wrestling logic TWICE in one paragraph? This s*** just got real!!! I had a feeling this would be the final four. I don't have a problem with this being the final four. Then again, we shouldn't kill him…..yet. Oh Hulk, what would we do without your over-the-top promos? LOLZ for days!!!

Winner via pinfall: Bully Ray

James Storm comes out and chooses his opponent for this Sunday. Storm chooses Bully. Ugh…….This irks me in multiple ways. First of off, I think Storm/Bully is a better final match than a semi-final match. Plus, that means the other semi-final match is Hardy/Joe. Do you see the problem? We just saw this match tonight. Why put on the same match twice in one week? Why didn't they come up with another option? To me, this shows TNA's lack of creativity. Hell, I would've taken Storm/Joe and Bully/Hardy, or Storm/Hardy and Bully/Joe. To be fair, we aren't sure what TNA's planning for the world title match, so this might be the reason for designing it this way, but this still comes off as being lazy. And for some reason, RVD and Magnus are fighting backstage. I'm convinced TNA bought all the cocaine in the world and took it in one day, which is why you're getting this. The hell is going on over there?

Match #4: Christopher Daniels and Kaz vs Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez; TNA Tag Titles
Oh yeah, you almost forget TNA signed Chavo over a month ago. Hogan's main goal is to focus on the tag team division. Kinda hard for me to believe that, considering that this guy wanted to murder a jobber. The finish comes when Chavo and Hernandez do a……69 attack? Well, it was a head scissors/splash combo, but how could you not think this? Oh, match is still going. There's those shenanigans for Kaz and Daniels. That plane is never late!!! Match wasn't too bad, but it seems kinda pointless since Hulk would declare a new #1 Contender to the tag titles. After the match, it's announced AJ Styles and Kurt Angle will be challenging for the tag titles this Sunday. So, that means we are back to where we were a few months ago. Are the writers even trying anymore? I realize pro wrestling tends to do rematches up the ass, but this is whole thing between Styles and Daniels is getting ridiculous. Then again, it was ridiculous five months ago, so what do I call this? Retarded?

Winner via pinfall and still TNA Tag Champs: Christopher Daniels and Kaz

A Double brings out the captured member of As & 8s and trade him off for the guy who broke his arm. Hey, I don't want to hear about you getting railroaded from behind. Keep that stuff to yourself. Wait, I just thought of something. If they captured this guy for a week, why didn't they interrogate him during that time? What, did they have a six day vacation that was more important than who's invading the damn show? Were they just being extremely generous? Again, I'm aware it's wrestling logic, but its things like this that just look stupid. Aries starts to beat the answers out of him, but….. Cast Man shows up to save Mike from New York…..for about three-seconds. Cast Man takes out Mike, the two start to fight in the ring. Mike was killed off and nobody gives a crap. The show ends with the two fighting. Apparently, the two are gonna fight against each other this Sunday. That's exactly what I want to see. TNA World Champion vs Cast Man. I don't even know what to make of this. Aces and Eights really took a lot of steps backwards tonight. This angle went from being interesting and worth checking out, to just being silly. I like it when wrestling gets silly, but I like it when it's actually funny. If it's funny, than it's entertaining. This is provides none of those things….minus Hogan's tough guy like. I like seeing longer storylines compared to rushed ones, but TNA can't do longer stories. Look at their track record? Immortal? Styles/Daniels? Jeff Jarrett/Kurt Angle? If this gets any worse, might as well add Queens and Bitches to the mix. I'm sorry, but when you make the stable look like a mob family to Police Academy, you've done something wrong. 

Overall Impression:
It was probably evident in the review, but I'll lay it out…..I wasn't a big fan of tonight's show. I felt that TNA took a couple steps backwards tonight. Aces and Eights looked ridiculous this week, the thought process for the BFG Series and Tag Title matches were a bit lazy, and I really didn't like the flow of tonight's show. Now, I'll be fair and bring up that we have a PPV this Sunday, so I can give a free pass on match quality, but I just couldn't get fully invested in tonight's show. The matches are fair, but the storytelling is what kills it. A couple of things amused me. While the interrogation between Hulk and New York Boy were hammy, it was kinda funny. I thought the Snow/Joey Ryan segment worked out decently, and they did stress the main matches for No Surrender. While those are some good things, I didn't think it was executed in the best way possible. I could keep going, but Aries might provoke me with a pair of pillars. It's like watching a cop film on a budget. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time. 

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