Friday, September 16, 2011

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling Review 9/15/11 (At a combine age of 114 years, it's....)

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling on 9/15/11. After Sunday's abomination, how would TNA move forward with Bound for Glory a month away? Well, let's take a look and start the review.

We open up the show with Ric Flair, who's already in his ring gear. He calls out the Stinger and out comes the Insane Icon. Flair tells him he has a tall order tonight because he's going up against God tonight and he will have to kill him to get to Hulk Hogan. Sting says if that's what it takes, he will have to do the next best thing....

That's right. Sting says he will kill Flair tonight. Ok, what is it with TNA and all the death threats? Hogan says he will kill people. Kurt Angle says he will kill people. It's kinda stupid when you think about it. Besides, Immortal couldn't kill a spider, much less an actual person. Anyway, it appears Sting is ready to do the match now, but TNA security breaks it up because they are going to make this the main event for tonight. I really didn't see the point of this opening. We knew going into tonight it would be Sting vs Flair, so why did we need to have some pointless buildup for a match that would be taking place later that night? For the most part, I don't like it when wrestling does this because it's almost a cheap way to eat time off the clock as opposed to showing some action. There was a quick backstage scene of Jeff Hardy arriving in the Impact Zone and claiming he wants to make things right with the TNA talent tonight. This would be an ongoing bit for the rest of the night towards Hardy's character.

Match #1: Mexican America vs Pope, Devon, Tara, and Tessmacher
So, you open up the show with a 8 person clusterf***? What the hell is wrong with you, TNA? These sort of matches just spell a disaster since TNA likes to have too much going on in one scene. The referee was trying to restrain the heels, but eventually the match broke down....twice. Sarita and Rosita were too busy showing Devon's kids how to become men (I'm not even joking, they were whoring themselves out to them in the middle of the match), failed low blow attempts, hair pulling, and a bunch of other stuff that made this an eye sore. When will TNA realize that overbooking in professional wrestling isn't cool? This isn't entertainment. This just makes me want to break something. Anyway, Tara and Tessmacher, or the T & A hit a finisher on the Latinas and we get a double pinfall victory for the faces. What did this match accomplish? Will the Mex America rivalry with Pope and Devon continue? Will the Latinas try to get back their KO Tag titles? Who the hell knows. Then agan, a better question is do I give a s***? The answer is no.

Winner via pinfall: Pope, Devon, Tara, and Tessmacher


Pace yourself, Nerd. It's only the first 15 minutes. Anyway, we have a backstage scene where Karen Jarrett is arguing with Traci Brooks, who's not happy working for Karen. She tells her to cover up her cleavage (funny since all the KOs are showing off their cleavage, including Karen) and get the other KOs together to address a matter. Back from a commercial break with the KOs. Karen announces a Queen's Qualifier event which will be taking place over the next few weeks. The women would compete in a match and if they win, they will be included in a championship match against Winter. Since there are three qualifiers, it would assume the BFG match for the KO Championship would end up being a Fatal 4Way, but nothing was set in stone yet. Karen says the matches will be Velvet Sky vs Angelina Love, Mickie James vs Tessmacher, and Madison Rayne vs Tara. Sky vs Angelina will be tonight's qualifier match. I'm not really sure how I feel about this idea. I remember the Fatal 4Way match for the KO title they had at last year's BFG and it was a mess. For the most part, when TNA has Fatal 4Ways, it ends up turning into a clusterf***. Then again, it's women's wrestling, so you really shouldn't be surprised they are just throwing them in one match for the evening....I hope.

Back in the ring where we have every 4Tune member suck Robert Roode's cock. Seriously, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Kaz, and James Storm were talking about how awesome it was Roode busted his ass to get a world title shot and they know it couldn't have happened to a better person. I understand what they were going for here, but did we need every single member of 4Tune to lay out their thoughts and feelings? Just seems like another cheap trick to waste time off the clock. In fact, I'm disappointed with this scene. Why not fly out Roode's family or his trainers express their feelings for one of Canada's own? In fact, why stop there? Why not get Roode's First Grade Teacher while you're at it? WE GET IT!!!! What Roode did is a great thing, but we don't need the whole world to stop and worship the guy. This scene wouldn't have bother me so much if they kept it short, but it was blown way out of porportion. It isn't like the guy has won the world title yet or retiring. Just seems like TNA is really forcing the audience to really love Roode. I did mention they should have had a celebration for the winner of the BFG Series, but I was thinking the traditional confetti and balloons, not a 40 hour talk-a-thon. After 4Tune grabs the mouth wash, Kurt Angle comes out to make a special announcement. He congratulates Roode for winning the BFG Series, but thinks the rest of 4Tune is a little envious of Roode's accomplishment. He decides to put them to the test. From now until BFG, Roode will be going up against a member of 4Tune, and Kaz is the first opponent for tonight. This is an interesting idea, but wouldn't it make more sense for Roode to go up against some good heels as opposed to faces? Oh, wait. TNA only has like two legit heels in Bully Ray and Angle, and Roode already beat Bully, so they are kinda s*** out of luck in that department. Either way, it should be an interesting series of matches for the next few weeks and I like the concept. It gives people in 4Tune to think about backstabbing one of their own to get a future title match. During this scene, Daniels was gloating about the fact he beat AJ a few weeks back. Daniels comes off as a prick, but that was the point. You might as well pencil in Daniels vs AJ at BFG while you're at it.

Match #2: Angelina Love vs Velvet Sky in a Queen's Qualifier Match
Second match of the night and second time KOs are involved? TNA, are you trying to get people to change the channel? Have you ever taken a look at Angelina's body? It seems to be nothing but bones. In fact, you can clearly see the bones. How can that be healthy? Time for another match in TNA were the conclusion doesn't make any sense whatsoever. The finish comes when Winter is about to use the belt on Sky while the ref is saying no. Sky dodges the belt and Winter ends up hitting Angelina. Now, if TNA wasn't so freakin' stupid, the match would already be over. The ref clearly saw Winter use the weapon, so Angelina should win the match via DQ, but because of wrestling logic and the writers are too stupid to wipe their own ass, the ref ignores it completely and allows Sky to hit a DDT and wins the match. How dumb does TNA think the audience is? Come on, I'm a freakin' moron and even I notice s*** like this. This was a very sloppy match. Again, Sky was late on a lot of opportunities in this match. Outside of her looks, what does TNA see in her? Then again, can we really complain when Kelly Kelly is the Divas Champion in WWE? Come on people, we have to at least be fair.

Winner via pinfall and moving on to BFG: Velvet Sky

Backstage where Hardy comes across Styles. Hardy is trying to say he's sorry for his performance at Victory Road, but AJ didn't want to hear any of it. He calls Hardy selfish since he almost doomed the company. What was hilarious was the line where AJ said "when people talk bad about IW, it falls on Hardy". Really, and people like Vince Russo or Hogan don't come in mind on this territory? I'm just saying. AJ ends the scene by saying Jeff shouldn't be with this company anymore and he should just leave. Jeff walks away as if you just kicked his puppy. Again, not really sure how to feel about this whole Hardy situation on TV at the moment. While it would show the "realism" of a storyline since Jeff really pissed off a lot of people and really made the company look bad all of those months ago, something about it just seems out of place. I guess it's because it's Hardy and the guy has a history of dropping the ball. Again, only time will tell if Hardy is really going to take this seriously once again. There was a via satellite scene with Crimson. He talks about Samoa Joe's attack and how he was screwed over in the BFG Series. He vows to confront Joe in two weeks. Crimson seemed a little out of place in this scene, but he's also supposed to be playing a character who's currently injured and can't really do anything about his attacker at the moment. Would like to see more passion out of Crimson's eyes when he returns, and hopefully that's the case.

Match #3: Samoa Joe vs Matt Morgan
A rematch from No Surrender. This again was a decent back and forth contest. The finish comes when Joe causes a slight ref bump. This allows Joe to regain control of the match and he locks in a Heel Hook Submission for the tap out victory. I have a few issues with this. First of all, why didn't they have Joe win at the PPV? This is something I don't understand about TNA. TNA doesn't want certain competitors to look weak, so they will often book the match twice and give both people the victory. The booking on this entire deal has been wrong. What should've happened is Joe winning the match at the PPV and having him go out there this week and calling Crimson his own personal bitch. That would have made a lot more sense if you think about it. Yeah, it would have made Morgan look a little weak, but they could've used heelish shenanigans to keep Morgan strong. Not only that, but they made Morgan look really bad by having him tap out. I just don't buy a guy like Morgan tapping out so easily. I just didn't like how TNA planned this whole thing. I guess creative wrote themselves into a corner because Morgan is one of their big guys and should use him better, but having him submit isn't the way to go. I really have to blame the creative staff because this wasn't executed very well. I like the idea of Joe being an absolute dick because he's a sore loser, but the execution was poorly planned. Sorry TNA, but that's a fail.

Winner via submission: Samoa Joe

Backstage where Hardy is now talking with Devon. Devon says he has worked with Hardy for years and he will stick behind him, but if he screws up again, it's over. So, let me get this straight? Devon had hang ups with the Pope because of his shady character for months, but is willing to accept Hardy even though he's aware of his drug problems.....and accepts it in a matter of seconds? I definitely have to call wrestling logic on this one, but also in a place where we are basically shooting here. Never thought I would've seen that happen. It's enough to make your head spin.

Match #4: Robert Roode vs Kaz
Well, this was an pretty damn good match. This is a contest I can recommend watching. The finish comes when Roode makes Kaz tap out to the Crossface. After the match, Kaz seems to be a little frustrated he lost, but he eventually hugs his 4Tune team member. See, here we go. Some freakin' entertainment, but why did we have to wait until the last 30 minutes of the show to really see something good?

Winner via submission: Robert Roode

Backstage scene where Austin Aries talks about his X Division Championship victory and how he will defend it on next week's show against Jesse Sorensen. TNA also did a rundown for next week's show. It will be RVD and Mr. Anderson vs Bully Ray and Jerry Lynn, Mickie James vs Tessmacher, and Robert Roode vs AJ Styles. Very nice to see TNA showing what you will be watching on next week's show, but do you want to come back and watch it after tonight?

Match #5: Sting vs Ric Flair; If Sting loses, he retires, but if Sting wins, he gets Hogan at BFG
At a combine age of....114 years, Sting and Flair ladies and gentlemen. Now, I must say. This match was actually tolerable....until TNA creative wanted to take a s*** all over it. After a Super Plex by Sting (Gotta admit I was impressed by the Super Plex, but even more shocked nobody threw out a back), Immortal arrived because TNA loves to overbook matches. Instead of the referee calling for the bell, he decides to let it continue. Sting is fighting off Immortal well in the early going, but it appears he's screwed once Bully shows up. Anderson shows up with a steel chair to chase off Bully. During this time, Hogan hands Flair a pair of brass knucks. Flair uses them on Sting and gets rid of them....sort of. All Flair has to do is cover Sting, but he stands near one of the corners to take a breather. He goes for the cover, but Sting kicks out. Sting starts to power up and he eventually grabs the brass knucks. The ref can clearly see this, but elects to do nothing....

You've got to be freakin' kidding me, TNA. Two chances in the same match where it should have been called off, but you make this look way too Looney Tooney. Go f*** yourself, TNA creative staff. TNA, you need to get your wrestlers and referees together and map out the choreography. Reckon, stuff like this shows up in WWE, but I swear I see this every week in TNA while I see it a lot less often in WWE. TNA really needs to polish up stuff like this because it's things like this that will make people change the channel. Anyway, Sting locks in the Scorpion Death Lock while holding the brass knucks. To be fair, Sting didn't use the brass kuncks, but why would the ref allow him to hold it? Flair taps out and Sting will get Hogan at BFG. As I mentioned in previous reviews, Hogan/Sting seemed to be a green light for quite a while now. While I am not excited about the match, I am sure there are some nostalgic fans who want to see these two icons square it off in the middle of the ring. Even if you hate the idea of them facing off, you might as well get over it because the match is going to happen wither you like it or not.

Overall Impression:
I really didn't like Impact this week. To be fair, they did a pretty good job in starting the BFG buildup. We already have a couple of matches on the card and they are working towards a few more, but the evening was such a drag. What really hurt this show was the first hour. The first hour had only two matches, and both of them were some sort of KO match. I really didn't like the scenes during the first hour as well. The second hour was a lot better for TNA. The matches were a little more solid, but a lot of the matches had too much bulls*** going on and it can easily take you out of the evening. There wasn't a lot of things to be excited about tonight, so TNA's Road to BFG isn't off to the best start. I just felt bored for the majority of the evening. In fact, it was during the Roode/Kaz match were I was starting to fall asleep. The interest level went up during the match, but this was not a well planned evening for TNA. I will still be fair and say I have seen TNA do much worse on a Thursday, so there was some things that might be passable. Like I said in my No Surrender review, if TNA would just polish up a lot of the things in tonight's show, then I say it was a very underrated evening, but that isn't the case. I say pass up on this show for the most part. If you want to watch TNA, I would say watch the Joe/Morgan and Roode/Kaz match and the final moments of the Sting/Flair match and that will basically be the abridged version of the evening. Hey, better than wasting two hours, right? That's going to do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. Not really sure about a SD review for this week, but I am working on a Night of Champions Rundown. It has been a while since I did a PPV Rundown, so be on the look out for that. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show, see you next time and fix your damn choreography.

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