Thursday, December 6, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling 12/6/12 Review (Ohhhhhh noooooooo)


What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 12/6/12. With Final Resolution set for this week, how does the show fair? Let's find out and start the review. 

We open up the show with Bobby Roode, Christopher Daniels, and Kaz. All three guys talk about their rivalries and how they will be victories this Sunday…except Kaz since he's not wrestling this week. Kaz will be active as he makes his own Gangnam Style music video. They hit all the cliches until AJ Styles comes out. Styles and Daniels bicker like an old, married couple. They just need to f*** and get it all out of their system. Maybe this is why the rivalry has gone for 18th months. Sexual tension is building. James Storm and Jeff Hardy arrive for the save. It was a very basic opening. You know, there's almost no tension between Roode and Hardy. They would add something later in the night to get something going, but I still argue that the build for this rivalry has been very lazy. Now, I can see a rematch between the two happening at the next PPV, but you think Roode/Hardy would get more attention than this. Daniels/Styles just needs to die. It's gone on forever and has had a lot of stupid moments. In order to keep whatever sanity I have left, they need to end this at FR. With that said, look for TNA to keep it going until next year and for me to go completely insane. Oh goodie. 

Match #1: Samoa Joe vs Devon; TV Championship
So, you're telling me that Aces and Eights' goal is to take the TV Championship? Out of all the things they could conquer, they choose to go after a championship nobody has cared about since…. ever! Okay, just making sure I'm up to speed on this whole thing. Just as Joe is about to get the submission, he's distracted by boobies and immediately thinks with his sword. This leads to Doc attacking Joe with a hammer to give Devon the victory. So, Devon becomes the TV Champion once again and not a single f*** was given. I'm being serious. Who in the world cares that Aces and Eights took this title? That's like bragging that you purchased toilet paper. You really get nothing at the end of the day. I guess you can argue that it gives Card Games some power, but it's kinda hard for me to make that claim since the TV title has meant nothing for years. Joe barely brought anything into become champion, so I don't believe the claim that Joe was adding something to the title. Well, I'm pretty sure I just pissed a bunch of people off with that claim. Aces and Eights celebrate with hookers. If you want to be in this stable, you have to accept every type of STD from around the world. Do you really want to join these guys? Enjoy your sloppy seconds, guys. 

Winner via pinfall and NEW TV Champ: Devon

So, this is how you tell a story. Al Snow was apparently attacked and doesn't remember anything for 2-3 days and was robbed in the process. D'Lo plays it off while Snow seems okay with this…..CALL THE COPS!!! What is wrong with you? Alert the public!!! There's a menace beating up washed up wrestlers and stealing their lunch money!!! Why isn't anybody freaking out about this? Wrestling logic can do this to you. We get some build up between Mickie James and Tara, but out comes Velvet Sky to make her claim. Now, I've known about the re-negotiations between Velvet and TNA for quite some time, but why didn't they make her reappearance at the PPV or next week? It just seems odd that you have Tara/Mickie lined up and immediately put Velvet out there. It almost makes it too obvious as to who's gonna win this Sunday. I don't know why, but it kinda bothered me. I guess this is the point where I give my thoughts on Velvet returning. Simply put, meh. I'm sorry, but I don't really care if Velvet is with TNA or not. She's okay, but isn't amazing. She definitely does her job well, which is allowing virgins and single men to 'stroke' their egos. Enjoy her too much or you may just lose your schwartze. 

Match #2: Team Burrito vs Jersey Sweaters
That comedy bit between Robbie E and Robbie T….UGH!!! Failed comedy 101. That failed so hard that it wasn't even comedy. What the hell do you call that? Chavo wins with the Frog Splash. The match was nothing amazing, but it did the job. After the match, Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan talk about their penises. What, you think I'm joking? This is literally what happened. In all seriousness, I'm actually okay with this. I'm actually looking forward to this match. Kinda sad how this match has gotten more build up than the world title match. That's scary. 

Winner via pinfall: Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez

Match #3: Kurt Angle vs Doc
I hope the herpes was really worth it, Devon. Kurt Angle talks Aces and Eights, so it leads to Doc arriving and now we have a match. You know, I'm almost convinced that Doc joined Aces and Eights because they promised him biscuits and gravy. Is there seriously a 'USA' chant during this match? You do realize that a good chuck of the Aces and Eights are American, so you're really cheering for everybody at this point. I know people will call wrestling logic on this, but I have to call stupidity on the Impact Zone. This match wasn't too bad. Aces and Eights surround the ring since they need the bonus. Wes Brisco, Garett Bischoff, and Joe arrive to even the odds. Kurt pitches a 4-on-4 match for this Sunday. I smell a betrayer on the way for Team TNA. How could you not? I personally hope it's Brisco who screws over his team since it makes the most sense, but TNA is dumb enough to have Garett be the guy. If that happens, ohhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

No Contest? Yeah, I don't care

Match #4: Kenny King vs Zema Ion vs Kid Kash; #1 Contender match to X Division title
You know how you make Championship Thursday even more pointless? By having the losers of Hogan's choice fight for the title match regardless. What's the point? Especially since the X Division championship is just there. Kenny picks up the victory in a decent contest. It will be RVD vs Kenny this Sunday. It's hard for me to get excited about this since this match is literally slapped together at the last moment. I've said this for months, but if you what a championship to mean something, you need proper development with the storylines/rivalries. There is literally NONE of that in the X Division. It's bulls*** and you know it. RVD hasn't done a whole lot since winning the title, and Kenny is about as transparent as Casper on this show. I'm sorry, but I find this match unnecessary. 

Winner via pinfall and NEW #1 Contender to X title: Kenny King

1/3/13. Sigh….Should I really care about this? I just feel I'm gonna be disappointed with it since it will either be an Abyss or Sting return. Both guys have 'returned' so much that it isn't even worth hyping up. But this is TNA, where they hype up Sting's return as if God's in the building. Bully Ray comes out to demand a match with Austin Aries. So, what we have here is both Aries and Bully want a match with each other, but Hulk Hogan doesn't want to book it. I love the thought process for this whole thing. Hogan says 'no', but Brooke Hogan comes out and says the name, "Mark", so NOW Hogan book the match. I guess Hogan hates anybody named Mark or hates the term. Yeah, it's wrestling logic up the ass since Hogan's thought process is a joke. There is no thought process. Why did he book the match? Because the script told him to. You feel rewarded? No. I feel like it was a waste of time since you could've booked the match in about 30 seconds. Instead, let's waste time and pretend we're accomplishing something. YAY!!! Oh, do I dare continue? 

Match #5: Bobby Roode and Team Appletini vs Jeff Hardy, James Storm, and AJ Styles
What's up with the fanny packs? Kaz and Daniels might as well wear shirts that say, 'I'm '80s'. I'm losing my mind tonight. Well, this match was pretty good. I would call it the best match of the night. Hardy wins by hitting the Twist of Fate on Kaz for the clean victory. After the match, Aces and Eights attack. TNA makes up for the stable barely showing up last week to completely overlord them tonight. TNA needs to work on balance. Well, it turns out Roode paid off Aces and Eights. That's right. The stable that has put everybody on notice and attacked Bobby in the past, is now working for the highest bidder. I don't even think I can continue anymore. I'm sorry, but that's it. I'm done, man. I'm done. Game over, man!!! Game over!!!

Okay, I got that out of my system. I really didn't like the ending to the show. While it adds something to the world title match, I feel it wasn't done soon enough. If they wanted to do this angle, this attack should've happened last week. That way, you have Bobby and Hardy vent out their frustrations tonight. Instead, you get this and it just feels like it's a week behind. Not only that, but now Aces and Eights is working for money? I'm sorry, but that's stupid writing. Up to this point, Aces and Eights have attacked anybody without the motive being money related. Didn't these guys simply want full access to the building and showed more interest in total takeover? Since when has money been the motive? It never has and this is the creative staff literally pulling something out of their ass to make it seem like it's important. The only way they can write something like this is if it's revealed that Bobby is controlling the stable. While that's still a possibility, I just don't see it happening. Maybe I'm being too harsh, but I didn't like what they wrote with this scene. My head hurts. 

Winner via pinfall: Jeff Hardy, James Storm, and AJ Styles

Overall Impression:
I had a difficult time watching this show. In fact, this might've been harder to watch than last week's show. One of my issues is there was a complete overload with TNA putting together matches to get ready for this Sunday. I understand they have to build up the PPV, but why wasn't this spread out better for the last month? What, did the creative staff just fall asleep during this time? And for this being the 'go home' episode, I don't find myself overly interested in this PPV. First of all, I barely remembered that the event was this week. That's a bad sign right there, but the overall build up to this PPV has felt very underwhelming. Now, TNA has done this before and still delivered good PPVs. In fact, that's what I'm really hoping for this Sunday. I just haven't been overly interested in what TNA is doing. Is the WWE product perfect? Hell no. They have their issues as well, but it isn't like TNA is doing anything to 'wow' you either. Some of the matches were at least fair to watch and you might be able to get an enjoyment out of this. I personally didn't, but I won't scold you if you liked it. Everyone has their own personal taste/interest and this is just my opinion. I can't stop you from watching this, but I do issue warning if you think about checking it out. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. There's a chance the Final Resolution review will be delayed. I apologize in advance for the weird upload schedule, but I'm trying my best to work around things. Tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls in the next one. 

5 comments:

  1. Wow, complain much faggot?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you complaining about the complaints in HIS review?

      He had every right to, the show was abysmal.

      Delete
    2. Hey, it's internet tough guy #347659. Watch out, people. We got a bad-ass over here!!!

      Delete
  2. I like I stated last week, Aces & 8s will probably be kept on the down low until the 3rd of January, which is most likely when Sting returns to bring retribution against the group like he has done with so many other wrestling factions in the past.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Poor show..
    Great review as always..

    A sad TNA fan

    ReplyDelete