What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at WWE Raw 7/16/12. After the events of Money in the Bank and the 1000th episode set for next week, how does WWE look going into the show? Let's find out and start the review.
We open up the show with CM Punk. What? Punk opening up Raw for a second week in a row? I thought Money Night Cena didn't allow that type of stuff on their program? Yes, I'm just joking around. Did anyone see the opening shot of John Cena winning the MITB match? Was that the best Cena photo they had? It's Derpy Cena, coming at ya. Punk talks about his pipe bomb from a year ago, hits title defense and how he plans to be champion at the 1000th episode. Big Show interrupts and claims nobody cares about Punk since people would forget about Punk after a week because this show revolves around one person. Well, at least the WWE is self-aware of what they're doing. You would think Punk would get angry and maybe cut one of those pipe bombs, but he says the typical, school spirit crap. Remember when Punk was controversial and anti-establishment? I want to see that guy again, but I feel that guy is gone. I'm still a big Punk fan, but he has lost all his edginess and became a generic good guy. Show says Punk will eat those words because he vows Cena will cash in the MITB tonight and steal the title. In case you are lost, it was announced at the beginning of the show that Punk vs Show would happen later tonight. So, they were building up the main event for tonight. I was thinking of the possibility of Cena cashing in the MITB, but that got thrown out the window after Show mentioned it. In fact, you would see WWE mention this again…..and again…..AND AGAIN!!! Okay, there's being subtle, and then there's this…..
I get what you're trying to do here, but is it really necessary to shove it down our throats like this? Hey, remember when surprises happened? I want surprises again. Well, I'm getting ahead of myself here. Despite what I said, this was a pretty good opening segment. Really enjoyed Show's mic work during this scene. And for some reason, the King decided to become Porky Pig. WW….WW…WWE…..Youtube…..blubblublublublublublub.
Match #1: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth vs Prime Time Players; WWE Tag Team match
DX's 1001st reunion will kick off the 1000th episode next week. I really hope they can get other DX members BESIDES Triple H and Shawn Michaels to take part in this. AW continues to be out of control with the headset. He was a little funny tonight, but I want to see him go over the top. After all, it would make sense considering you got 'millions of dollars, millions of dollars' at your side. This was a fair match, but nothing too special. The finish comes when AW causes a distraction, but it backfires since Truth hits Little Jimmy for the victory. After the match, AW takes my advice and loses it. You know, for being a promoter, he's doing a terrible job at it. Might want to think about getting Don King to help you out there. PTP aren't ready for the tag titles, so I don't have a problem with them losing tonight. Plus, they have managed to keep Primo and Epico in the tag division and not throw them out the window. It might be confusing trying to figure out what's going on with the tag division, but at least they are doing something with it. That has to be worth something….right?
Winner via pinfall and still WWE Tag Champs: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth
AJ and Daniel Bryan are in a backstage scene. Bryan apologizes for his beard and jackass nature. Eve interrupts because she wants to get back and Bryan for abandoning her. Bryan and AJ vs Eve and a partner of her choice. Apparently, payback is a AJ. Payback is an AJ? What does that mean? Is payback a crazy person? Is payback a short girl? Ohhhhhh, payback's a-.
Match #2: Alberto Del Rio vs Zack Ryder
Ryder should be called the Long Island Jobber. LIJ is something people can get behind. Maybe form a tag team with the Brooklyn Brawler. What, you can't see it happening? Del Rio wins with a quick Cross Armbreaker. After the match, Rey Mysterio returns and delivers the 619 to Del Rio. If you remember the established kayfabe, Del Rio was the one who took out Mysterio. Thus, it makes sense for him to attack Del Rio since he wants revenge. Since it looks like Mysterio/Del Rio is gonna get started, I wonder who will be the guy to go up against Sheamus? Hmmm….what? I'm thinking. What, I'm not allowed to think anymore?
Winner via submission: Alberto Del Rio
Match #3: Heath Slater vs Rikishi
Slater immediately calls out the legend and it's Rikishi. Stink Face, Samoan Spike, and Rump Shaker for the victory. After the match, the lights go off. Rikishi joined by this sons, Jimmy and Jey Uso, to dance the night away. Before we had a dancing dinosaur, we had Rikishi. The One Man Band is gonna start going costal. He's gonna get killed world wide. I'll keep you up to date with his touring schedule.
Winner via pinfall: Rikishi
Match #4: Daniel Bryan and AJ vs Miz and Eve
The finish comes when Eve has a rollup on AJ, but Bryan reverses it as the ref's back is turned. Yeah, I'm convinced that the rollup is the most devastating wrestling move ever. Nobody can break out of it…..
After the match, Bryan admits that he needs AJ and that he loves her. He makes another marriage proposal and gives her a ring. AJ says….
Well, I guess Bryan's dead. She says 'yes' and they are engaged to get married. After a commercial break, we find out that the marriage will happen next week. Damn, that was fast. Will AJ have like three kids and be smoking by next week? It feels rushed, but I guess that was the idea. Not really sure how I feel about this marriage deal. I would think Bryan has something up his sleeve, but I have no idea what will come out of this. Well, at least this wouldn't be the stupidest wrestling marriage we've seen this year…..I hope.
Winner via pinfall: AJ and Daniel Bryan
We were about to have Ryback vs Jack Swagger, but Swagger attacked before the match officially got started. He starts to do well, but Ryback fights back. Ryback eventually kills him with a bunch of powerbombs. Well, at least they are upping Ryback's competition. After four moths of murder, it was time to give him some fresh meat. Remember when Swagger was important? Wait, he was important? Dolph Ziggler comes out to brag about winning the MITB match. Chris Jericho interrupts this segment, but Dolph cuts him down. He talks about how Jericho's return has been a bust and maybe Jericho doesn't have it anymore. Jericho started off smiling, but he eventually started to get angry…..Almost as if he passed a kidney stone. Well, he relieves his frustrations by hitting the Codebreaker on Dolph. So, it appears Dolph and Jericho are beginning a feud and Jericho has made a possible face turn. I really look forward to seeing this unfold. It should be a lot of fun.
Match #5: Brodus Clay vs JTG
I thought JTG got fired already? He also had a different look towards him, but it doesn't change the fact that it's a miracle that he's still getting a paycheck. Brodus hits Funk It. You know how they are moving Ryback towards bigger competition? Well, how much more can you get away with a Brodus squash match every week? Reckon, you can't compare Ryback to Brodus. Ryback is a serious character, while Brodus is mostly a comedy character. Still, the squash matches really get old after a while. Then again, I'm sure casual fans don't really give a s*** about those things.
Winner via pinfall: Brodus Clay
Match #6: CM Punk vs Big Show
To my surprise, this match wasn't that bad. This was your David vs Goliath match. I think with all things considered, Punk and Show pulled off a passable match. Punk did manage to get Show to the ground and hit the Flying Elbow, but can still only get a two count. If only you had your supply of Cena Pebbles….Something about that sounded wrong. The finish comes when Show pushes the referee to the ground. The ref issues Show a DQ. After the match, Show continues to assault Punk. Cena finally arrives and it looks like he's gonna cash in the MITB. Cena says he will NOT cash in MITB tonight since he wants to use it for the 1000th episode. Show calls Cena a fool for doing this the honorable way, but Cena doesn't seem to care. The show ends with Cena hitting Show with the briefcase, and having a stare-down with Punk. So, it appears that Cena will go down the boy scout route and cash in the MITB fairly. Well, there goes that idea that Cena would do something evil. I knew it was a slim chance, but I wanted to mention it since I know people were being very negative on Cena's victory. Now that they have made the match official, I wonder what will end up happening. At the moment, I see Punk retaining his championship. I think it will involve some type of interference with Big Show. Kinda throwing this out there, but I think a Triple Threat match for the WWE Championship will happen at SummerSlam. Hey, crazier things have happened.
Winner via DQ: CM Punk
I thought with all things considered, this episode of Raw wasn't too bad. It definitely was better than last week's show. Then again, I think watching Cena on the toilet for two hours would've been better than last week……maybe. The show did hype up the 1000th episode and did announce a number of things for the event. We have a WWE title match, a wedding, an IC match (Voted by the fans), and a number of legends for the event. I wouldn't call this a great Raw, but I would consider it a pretty average, filler episode. Tonight's action wasn't really there, but that tends to happen after a PPV. They didn't establish too much in terms of new storylines, but I have said before that they are probably saving things up for the 1000th show. I've talked about the 1000th show before and I think my feelings on the show are still the same. If WWE doesn't deliver something big or jaw-dropping, it could be looked at as a disappointment. They are gonna have a lot of people checking out the momentous occasion, so I think they have to have something saved up for the event. Of course, the show can bomb, but we will save that for next week's Raw review. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight's show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time.