Friday, July 13, 2012

WrestlingNerd Presents: TNA Impact Wrestling Review 7/12/12

What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling 7/12/12. After the events of Destination X, how did the show turn out? Let's find out and start the review. 

Match #1: Bully Ray vs Joseph Parks; No Rules match
We open up the show with a match. This match was similar to the Slammiversary match, but it wasn't quite as fun. Still, it's hilarious seeing Joseph's reactions to these weapons. A chair? What do I do with this? Is this some scientific device? It doesn't stop him from holding it upside down. I like how Tenay says that Bully was sending a message. Really, cuz I thought they were thumbtacks….

The finish comes when Bully hits a chained-up fist on Joseph. So, Bully gets his revenge…..kinda. After the match, Joseph sees his own blood drip down and starts to freak out. He ends up hitting a Black Hole Slam on Bully. Within a second after the attack, Joseph comes to and claims that he had nothing to do with that. So, Joseph has a split personality? That's exactly what you want to see on your lawyer. I'm not really sure what to make of this. This is just getting weird. I guess we will wait until the next episode of Dr. Joseph and Mr. Abyss. 

Winner via pinfall: Bully Ray

Match #2: Samoa Joe vs RVD; BFG Series match
This wasn't a long match, but it was fair to watch. Joe was going for a lot of submission holds, while RVD was trying to survive. The finish comes when RVD gets a small package on Joe for the victory. With the win, RVD gains another 7 points and starts to get back into this series. After the match, Joe appeared to pop a blood vessel in his face. Seriously, either he's pissed off or he needs to eat prunes. 

Winner via pinfall: RVD

In a backstage scene earlier in the day, random people run up to Claire Lynch for an interview. Oh my God. I'm sorry, but she's absolutely terrible in this performance. She was even worse than the last outing. It's like she woke up and said, "Acting is overrated, so I'm not gonna give a s*** today". Umm…..I don't know where Dixie Carter is…..line? She was also smoking. Either she had another relapse or TNA decided to not do one more take. Can we do one more take? No, we already sent it on the airwaves. Then again, bringing up the cigarette makes it seem like I care, so we're MOVING ALONG!!! Christopher Daniels and Kaz call Claire to the ring and interrogate her. AJ Styles comes out, but Clair finally comes clean and claims that AJ is the father of the unborn baby. This storyline is bad, but it's one of those things where I just want to see how ridiculous it can get. Why? Because I want to laugh at the stupidity it brings. If you have ever seen The Room, I think you get where I'm coming from. AJ is also stunned that he's the father. Umm…..Did Styles' parents forget to explain this to him? Maybe his wife can help him with that one……ohhhhhhhh noooooooooooo.

Match #3: Zema Ion vs Dakota Darsow
I like how they had Dakota cut a backstage promo on how he's pissed off at Zema's actions for almost ending the career of Jesse Sorensen. Show of hands. How many of you saw Dakota cut this promo and say, "Who the hell are you?". I'm sorry, but Dakota doesn't really stand out after one week. He's like the Gunner of the X Division. Anyway, this was a pretty basic match. The finish comes when Zema hits his finisher for the victory. If it wasn't clear already, it appears they are going to be padding this Zema/Jesse thing until Jesse returns. For the time being, Zema will continue to reign in the X Division. 

Winner via pinfall: Zema Ion

Austin Aries finally comes out for his victory speech. A Double feels that TNA is really close to having that boom period and they are on the verge of challenging the major company. Well, with the way WWE has been looking lately, TNA does have a chance. At the same time, I doubt Claire is helping their case. Aries claims that he got messages from celebrities, NFL stars, and even world champions from other companies. I would like to think he was talking about CM Punk here, but who knows. Aries wants to lead TNA to the next level, but Bobby Roode interrupts. I love this segment. Bobby doesn't know how to react to losing the championship…..

He finally says that A Double's victory was nothing more than a fluke…..after stuttering for about 20 hours. This was a fun segment to watch. Aries is all cool and relaxed while Bobby has lost it. It will be interesting to see how this turns out. 

I know I'm jumping ahead, but I just want to get all these backstage scenes out of the way now, so just go with it. Lynch says she trusted him and he didn't do the right thing. Okay, this isn't making any sense. If she knew AJ was the father, why did she go from caring about AJ to being a bitch? Just sit back and watch this NASCAR crash get more ridiculous. Magnus can't wait to make another appearance on this show. Why? Because he needs food. Oh, and I like how Hulk Hogan and Sting tell Devon and Garett Bischoff to f*** off since they are gonna deal with the mystery attackers. It also appears that the Sting attackers also sent the 'A 8 8 A' hand. Why decline the help? Because they are gonna do this old school? What does that mean? Is Hogan going to grow is black beard? Is Robocop gonna show up? Madison Rayne talks about wanting old man ass….ewww. 

Match #4: Tessmacher vs Gail Kim; KO Championship
Brooke Hogan was on commentary for this match. You can tell she's really 'excited' about her job. Tessmacher wins this match with a flying elbow. What more can I say? I'm just not interested in what the KOs are doing at the moment. Sorry if that upsets some people, but someone doesn't stand out from the bunch. 

Winner via pinfall and still KO Champion: Tessmacher

Match #5: Kurt Angle vs Mr. Anderson; BFG Series match
One thing I haven't mentioned is that DirecTV owners got screwed this week. Apparently, they lost a few channels do to something between Viacom and the satellite company. This doesn't affect me since I have Dish Network, but I know this affects quite a few people. I wish those people luck in trying to get their channels back. This was the longest match of the night. It was also the best match to witness. Then again, when you give Kurt a decent amount of time, he will generally deliver in the action department, even with a partial sloppy performer like Anderson. Yes, I just said that. The finish comes when after a bunch of near falls, Kurt hits the Angle Slam for the victory. Kurt is now 10 points behind Joe. 

Winner via pinfall: Kurt Angle

Before we got to the final scene of the night, Hogan and Sting get interrupted by Bobby. Apparently, Bobby wanted to talk. Sting is now in the ring and calls out the mystery crew that attacked him. Apparently, they are calling this group Aces and Eights. Aces and Eights, huh? I kinda like the name. Anyway, Sting needs Hogan to come out and help him. Yeah, a couple of senior citizens against the Insane Clown Posse. THIS will definitely bode well for our heroes!!! They play Hogan's entrance theme a few times, but he doesn't show up. Either TNA is contractually obligated to play Hogan's theme twice per episode (Hogan needs to buy himself a new bicycle), Hogan feel asleep and they are trying to wake him up, his wheelchair broke down, or he's busy counting his money. Hmmm, which could it be? Well, we find out that Hogan has been taken out by Aces and Eights. Brooke shows concern for her father. Sting sees this and heads to the back. Apparently, Aces and Eights have Voldemort working for them since they magically show up right behind Sting and attack him. The show ends with Aces and Eights attacking Sting. I like this concept of Aces and Eights. Yeah, this idea has been done before, but I like the mystery it has. Unfortunately, it's that mystery factor that makes me think TNA will screw this up by bringing in someone uninteresting… Jeff Jarrett or Scott Steiner. Well, let's hope that isn't the case. 

Overall Impression:
Now, even though I didn't enjoy everything on tonight's show, I found this more enjoyable than Raw. At the same time, it isn't saying much since WWE probably put together one of the worst episodes of Raw ever. From this simple reviewer/crazy guy, I would say it was probably the worst Raw ever. But enough about that, let's talk TNA here. The action tonight wasn't amazing, but it was decent enough. As for the segments, some of them were interesting to watch. I liked how Bobby reacted to losing the world title. And for the time being, Aces and Eights is something I would like to see unfold. TNA isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I think they are putting on an interesting product at the moment. I really do want to see other people give this company a chance and not waive their WWE fanboy flag the second a TNA discussion comes up. I just hope TNA can continue to build from the positive momentum and continue to deliver interesting segments. I think people who are wrestling fans will at least try to give TNA another chance. After all, doesn't everyone deserve a 24th chance? An average episode of TNA, but a show that should be looked at since Raw didn't have the best week. That's gonna do it for the review and I hope you enjoyed it. As always, tell me what you thought of my review or tonight' show. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show. See you next time. 


  1. Yeah you're right.
    I went from wondering why you even bothered to do impact reviews to being so bored with wwe that i only read your recaps and other spoilers online instead of watching wwe and only watch impact right now.
    its not that wwe is bad or because its pg, but its just the same stuff every week.
    5 squash matches from boring guys i either never saw before or are ripping of more interesting guys from the past, and the same guys doing the same matches for the 10th time.

    impact just has more interesting guys and better matches. the fact is that the guys in the BFG alone are more diverse and interesting than wwes roster right now, if only because they can put everyone vs everyone instead of doing the same match 5 times like punk vs bryan. if i remember correctly, that was what tna did in the past, doing the same thing over and over.
    dont get me wrong, punk vs bryan was great. the first time. but now they do it the third time, with even more times done every week inbetween and its just so boring.

    1. and you haven't seen aj vs daniels a million times before? or anderson vs angle?
      there aren't that many story lines in TNA, if WWE actually tried like it will do in the summer (summerslam time) they'll do great. TNA in my opinion hasn't got that much potential.

    2. first:
      that is no argument.
      if i rated wwe by what they COULD do i would never watch TNA ever again. but they choose to make hornswoggle the laptop GM and have 50% of all matches be squash matches. and put on one of the worst and most goddamn boring tv shows i have ever seen this week.

      the difference is tna has a bunch of guys they can put into the main event no problem, because they are on a similarly high level booking-wise and its not guaranteed who will go over. hardy, aries, storm, rhoode, bully ray, angle, styles, rvd, anderson, even daniels, abyss and the old farts hogan and sting.

      in wwe, you have punk, orton, cena ALL THE TIME. the last month or so was punk and cena with sheamus and the rest was squashes or total meaninglessness. the most interesting thing in that time was christian vs rhodes and they fought like 4 times? even more probably, AGAIN THIS SMACKDOWN!

      second: since when does less storylines=boring? This is what gives you BS like Devons Sons or Garrett B******* on TV.
      While we have A double rising to glory against Rhoode who managed to evade even sting, we get a girl slapping guys in the face because shes nuts on WWE. And old guys, really old OLD OLLLLD guys and female singers from the 80s beating up the chick from wendys.

      let it come to summerslam time. its when the BFG series will near its end and will get most interesting. whatever WWE does (bringing back a guy we havent seen for 2 months or so (AT WHICH POINT HE LOST TO A FRUITY PEBBLES MASCOT) to face an old guy who we have seen once in 3 months. come on, this is balls. they want me to care about this? I dont say they should do it like TNA where the legends are around every goddamn week, but come on. epic storytelling is not what i think of.

    3. I think the reason WWE is looking like this is because they are waiting until the 1000 episode to roll out something big. I don't know why, but I think something big will happen on that might. If something big doesn't happen, the episode could be considered a disappointment.

    4. I have said in previous rants that it's better for a company to have less storylines or else it tends to crowd the rest of the show. This was one of the TNA's biggest issues when Russo was running around. They wanted to have more or equal as many storylines as WWE, but all it did was make things confusing and difficult to watch. I'm glad they are slowing down and trying to take their time with it. And even when they do take their time (Claire Lynch), it doesn't always work, but you can't judge that based on everything TNA has been doing. I like the world title situation and this new stable around. Some people have called bulls*** in the past, but I really meant it when I said I wanted to see TNA make it big and actually challenge WWE. They aren't there yet, but it could happen. If that were to happen, it would make WWE view TNA as competition. If that happened, it would make WWE think of better storylines or fresher ideas. I think that would be great to watch both companies and be entertained on a weekly basis. Hey, I'm called the WrestlingNerd, not the WWE or TNA Nerd.

    5. Yeah, i get that. but on a wrestlingsite i read the best thought ever: what about the 1001st raw? and if they manage to get me so bored about raw in the first place, will i care about the 1000 raw? i guess we will find out once we get that stupid PPV out of the way of our more interesting booking.

      lol for intelligent business.

      also, your reviews are awesome.

    6. Sorry, your second comment hadnt been displayed yet. as for that, i completely agree. if they can make WWE better, that would be awesome. as long as it doesnt mean wwe to just suck out their roster and leave them to rot. and there is a lot of space upward wwe can go at the moment.

  2. you might not want to diss Dakota Darsow too much, his dad was the Repo Man and if you say too much against him you might find yourself behind on your payments

  3. you seriously think TNA can overtake WWE? really? and you're the Wnerd?

    1. When did I say TNA can overtake WWE? All I said was to give TNA a chance and you might be impressed with it. TNA still has a long way to go before they are considered competition, but at least they are on the right path. Of course, they can screw it up like previous times, but all I'm saying is try WATCHING it and maybe it will get some people to think twice about it. Can't judge something until you have at least seen it.

  4. face facts, TNA is the largest waste of tv time ever They have a great thing with the X division but squander it on horrible talkers with adequate ability. The pretend "reality tv" angle is getting old. Almost as old and boring as Kurt. The only thing that they have going for them right now is Austin Aries, but they can't let him do a spot without getting interrupted. How long Austin stays in TNA has everything to do with him putting up with being on Hogan's show.