What up wrestling fans, I'm the WrestlingNerd bringing you another written review. Today, we take a look at TNA Impact Wrestling on 11/17/11. We take a small break from the Top 20 Legend of Zelda Theme songs and talk about TNA. Would that be a good or bad thing? Well, let's get this over with and start the review.
We open up the show with Robert Roode. He talks about how he carried 4Tune and he is tired of those guys riding his coat tails. James Storm interrupts. What? He's already back? Well, either Storm is a quick healer or the kayfabe injury angle is already is finished. I'll get to that in a moment. Anyway, Storm wants to kick Roode's ass since he believes he was the attacker. Security stops Storm from going into the ring. Roode says he didn't attack Storm. James thinks that Roode probably didn't do the attack, but he still has beef with him. Security sends Storm to the back. As they are taking him away, AJ Styles is in the ring and attacks Roode. Security shows up again, but this time restrain AJ and Roode. We end up going to a commercial break. After witnessing Don West's failed audition for Paranormal Activity 4, AJ says Roode is a piece of trash. He just wanted to beat some sense into Roode, but realizes the only way to hurt Roode is to take away his world title. Roode goes on a rant in how he will never lose the championship and he's done with AJ. Sting comes out and says it will be Roode vs Styles in a 30 minute Iron Man Match. It will be for the world title at Final Resolution. Sting plugs how AJ is no slouch since AJ is a Grand Slam champion. A grand slam championship in TNA is about as impressive as eating a grand slam at Denny's. It seems the segment is over, BUT WAIT!!! Roode goes over to Dixie Carter (who is sitting in the audience) and starts yelling at her. It actually gets to a point where he wants to attack Dixie. AJ comes back and protects Dixie. This is where it gets strange. Roode is now beating the crap out of AJ as AJ is using himself as a shield for Dixie. Seriously, THIS ought to be censored. Just look at the visuals? What were they thinking? After the world's worse threesome, security finally breaks this whole thing up. I understand the purpose of Roode going after Dixie. It shows how he is out of control and how he has become thickheaded since getting the world title. While I get that, something about this scene was disturbing. I didn't like the fact Storm already returned from real/kayfabe injury. The injury angle is something you should invest a few weeks/months into building. This entire thing is super rushed. Many people complain how WWE rushed the "CM Punk leaving WWE" storyline, but look at this? In a span of four weeks, we have had three world title changes, an injury angle, a heel turn, and two different people making claim to be the #1 Contender. TNA is rushing this so much that I feel Roode will end up turning face by the end of the year. Since it appears Storm is healthy (if you watched the rest of the show, you get that vibe), they could've a few weeks to bring him back. By bringing him back as soon as they did, it takes me a little bit out of this storyline. I still think this is TNA's best storyline, but they really need to slow down and take their time with the storyline or else it will take more and more people out of it. I am still somewhat entertained by this, but we are seeing signs of TNA struggling to hold onto that ball. There was a backstage scene in which Storm confronted Samoa Joe. Joe says he didn't attack Storm. This starts a pretty pointless brawl between the two. What is this, Super TNA Bros. Brawl? Storm searching for his attacker would be a theme for the night. I wouldn't be surprised if Storm gets his revenge on his attacker next week. There was also a backstage scene in which Sting confronted Roode. He was very angry at Roode for assaulting Dixie. Roode gets angry and says he will sue Sting if he doesn't stop. I guess David Otunga is moonlighting as a lawyer in TNA?
Match #1: Robbie E vs Devon in a TV Championship Match
The Pope was in Devon's corner for this match. Is TNA reading my reviews? I talk about how the Pope/Devon rivalry just stopped, and this week it makes a comeback? This was a throwaway match. In fact, it kinda makes no sense how Devon got a TV title match. Then again, why even bother trying to figure it out. Rob Terry takes out the Pope. Eric Young showed up and took out Terry with a steel chair. Time for wrestling logic to make another appearance. Devon's kids are watching this match and jump the guardrail to check up the condition of the Pope. By the way, security doesn't show up. Then again, those guys have made too many appearances in the first 20 minutes of this program, so they deserve a break. Still, it's wrestling logic since there is nobody to stop Devon's kids from jumping the fence. The finish comes when Devon sees his kids out of their seats. This allows Robbie to score a roll up victory and he retains his title. There really was no point in making this a title match. After the match, Devon yells at his kids and grabs them by their arms like a mad man. The kids actually grow a pair and push their father away, as they go back to check up on the Pope. What doesn't add up about this whole thing is how we are supposed to feel sympathy for Devon, but that's impossible when he comes off as an asshole while the Pope just comes off as a smooth player. I really wish they would make up their minds with this storyline. Either pick a direction with it or just get rid of it. I personally think they should get rid of it since it's wasting time for, oh I don't know, something interesting.
Winner via pinfall and still TV Champ: Robbie E
Backstage with Garett Bischoff and Sting. Garett brags about how he isn't as green as everyone thought. That honestly has to be the dumbest thing Garett has ever said. He isn't green? He's more green than grass, Piccolo, Luigi, and the New York Jets put together. After more "groundbreaking" dialogue, Garett wants another match against Gunner. Sting says he will think about it. Once Garett leaves, Matt Morgan and Crimson show up and talk about their match at Turning Point. Even though they are talking about beating the crap out of each other, they are laughing about it. Sting basically says the tag team division sucks and Mexican America want the night off. He decides to give a tag title shot to Morgan and Crimson later tonight. Well, now I should say this...
It's still funny. I told you in the Turning Point review that Morgan and Crimson would form a tag team. It's kinda scary how I figure this stuff out at times. Another backstage scene between Eric Bischoff, Ric Flair, and Sting. It turns out Eric was lying and won't re-work his contract. Oh, so the stipulation they brought up last week is now pointless. Grade A writing, TNA. He says he will make good on Garett's request and he will give him a match tonight. Sting talks about how Garett will go through Immortal to get to his father. I want you to think about how amazingly stupid this is. Sting, AJ Styles, Robert Roode, James Storm, Mr. Anderson, and Matt Morgan couldn't finish off Immortal.....but Garett Bischoff is somehow going to do it? Imagine if this actually happens?
I feel your pain, Optimus. I swear that Garett gets more screen time than the world champion. What's wrong with this picture?
Match #2: Austin Aries and Kid Kash vs Brian Kendrick and Jesse Sorensen
For most of the match, Aries and Kash were arguing. This was probably the best match of the night. It wasn't too bad, but can be tricky to find out what's the story in all of this. Aries leaves his partner to finish the match by himself. The finish comes when Kash misses a moonsault. This allows Jesse to his a rolling cutter for the clean win. This match told more of a story between Aries and Kash than it did Sorensen. I have no idea what will happen. Will it be Aries vs Kash? Is Sorensen still in the mix? Well, I am sure we will get more details on next week's show.
Winner via pinfall: Jesse Sorensen and Brian Kendrick
Match #3: 10 Knockout Gauntlet Match; winner is the #1 Contender to KO Title
I think this was the longest match of the night. It sure felt like it. Velvet Sky eliminates Rosita within seconds with the X Factor. She also beat Tessmacher. Angelina Love would score the next elimination with a roll up on Velvet. Mickie James would take out Angelina next. Mickie and Sarita had a pretty ugly bout. There was two noticeable botches in this match. The first was the springboard in which Sarita lost her footing. The next one was Mickie screwing up her Delayed DDT finisher. It honestly look like Sarita landed on her neck. I'm surprised her neck isn't broken. She beat Tara with the same move....and again she screwed it up. The Delayed DDT has to go or else she will kill someone. She would beat Winter and ODB....wait, what? ODB returns? I guess TNA finally decided to do something with her. Then again, do you honestly care? After she beat ODB, Madison Rayne is the last one to compete. ODB attacks Mickie out of frustration. Madison takes her time walking down the ramp so she can keep in character. After Mickie wins with a roll up, she will be getting the title match at FR. I really....REALLY dreaded this match. Was it really smart to make a 8-9 minute KO match? Yeah, I'm aware the KOs at one point were the highest drawing segment in TNA, but that was then and this is now. By the way, all that build up for Velvet and this is what she gets? Reckon I am not the biggest fan of Velvet, but I don't understand all that build up for only a four week title reign. I wouldn't be surprised if this is TNA sticking it to WWE by giving Gail Kim all this exposure. Maybe if TNA stopped worrying about what WWE thought, they would have a better idea on how to make a successful company. I bet WWE doesn't give two s***s about Gail taking all the gold in TNA. Then again, why should they? To be fair, the diva division in WWE is pretty weak at the moment. By the way, Mickie looked really sloppy in the wrestling ring tonight. She has to do better than that, and I know she is very capable of doing better. Oh, and salsesa? I swear that Tazz should come with his own dictionary....but not as much as Hulk Hogan.
Winner via pinfall and NEW #1 Contender: Mickie James
Backstage where Bully Ray is talking to a....20 year old girl? Apparently, the girl was trying to ask Bully on a date, but Bully refused since he is a stud while she is ugly. They never showed the girl's face, but I bet she is glad nobody saw her working for TNA. Anyway, James Storm confronts Bully in thinking he did the attack. Bully says he is busy dealing with the 7 ft. Abyss. Judges?
Yeah, I thought so. Bully says he knows who attacked Storm, but he won't tell him. Once Storm is getting ready to leave, Bully says Storm should join Immortal. Storm mocks Bully and leaves. Yeah, I can't blame him either.
Back in the ring with Jeff Hardy. He talks about the support from the fans and how he is ready to go after the TNA world title again. I don't know how I feel about that. Hardy as champion brings back terrible flashbacks...
The Megatron title will never die. As Hardy is burning that image into your skull, Karen Jarrett interrupts. She talks over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over....
Sorry about that. Yeah, she talks about how Hardy isn't a real man and how she has the biggest set in TNA. Once again, way too much information. Karen.....wouldn't shut the hell up. She keeps repeating herself and it was terrible. This might be in line for worst promo ever. Yes, even worse than Scott Steiner. She even said how Hardy can't deliver the goods in the bedroom. How would she know? So, after saying she has a bigger set than anyone, she also says her husband is more man than anyone else. I understand this is typical heel heat, but nothing about this makes sense. Anyway, Jeff Jarrett shows up to attack Hardy, but he scouts it. Karen tries a low blow, but it doesn't work. The promo, the fight, the heelish tactics. It was really bad to watch. Hardy ends up overcoming the odds and stands tall. So, I guess Hardy and Jarrett continues...even though there is no reason for it to continue after Hardy won three matches at Turning Point. I guess Jarrett likes having 8+ month feuds. By the way, the Impact Zone managed to get a chuckle out of me when they chanted "STFU" towards Karen. Hilarious. In fact, that was the highlight during this whole bit....maybe for the entire evening.
Match #4: Mexican America vs Matt Morgan and Crimson for the TNA Tag Titles
The match went back and forth for a while, but Morgan and Crimson were pretty much schooling these guys. The finish comes when Morgan hits Carbon Footprint and wins the match. That's right, we have new tag team champs. Now, some people are going to think putting the titles on Morgan and Crimson was rushed. My argument against that is Mexican America didn't leave any impression as tag champs, so it made sense to get them out of the picture. A title win like this does more for Crimson than Morgan. Crimson is still trying to get over, and maybe teaming up with Morgan (who has more of a following) will help him get over. As I've said for months, Crimson has lots of potential, but TNA hasn't really picked a solid direction with him. I think if they stick with this tag team thing for a while, it can help him a lot. There is a problem. TNA's tag team division is basically dead, so they would need to create some new teams or bring in some new ones in order for this to mean something. Then again, how many times have TNA wasted a title change?
Winner via pinfall and NEW Tag Champs: Matt Morgan and Crimson
Match #5: Garett Bischoff vs Gunner
The match worked the same as before, but Garett shows even more of a backbone for this match. The finish comes when Garett hits a DDT and wins the match. It makes Gunner look ridiculous, but the guy doesn't leave much of an impression. So, I don't feel bad for him. All I see is a CM Punk look wannabe....minus all the charisma, mic skills, and talent Punk brings. Well, Garett knows how to use a DDT. Screw future world champion, TNA wants to put him in the Hall of Fame. Now, it is very possible Garett has what it takes to make it big. Age his on his side, but I just don't see a whole lot out of him at the moment.
Winner via pinfall: Garett Bischoff
Time for the final segment of the night. James Storm talks about how he is sick and tired of being overlooked. He totally has a point there. I've always said Storm has what it takes to be big in the wrestling business. He blames everyone for the attack he got last week and finally calls out Styles. He thinks AJ attacked him because AJ had the most to gain in terms of title matches. AJ says he didn't do it, but Storm doesn't buy it. Kaz shows up to play peacemaker. Kaz and AJ finally leave. As Storm is walking away from the ring, Kurt Angle shows up and attacks him. I think this part basically proved the concussion was kayfabe since Kurt is attacking his head. Either that or TNA doesn't give a s*** about the safety of their performers. He hits Angle Slam and says he was the one who attacked him last week. The show ends with Storm knocked out. So, we now know who attacked Storm and all the suspense is gone. Then again, by bringing back Storm as early as they did, the suspense was already gone. As I said in the beginning of the review, TNA is moving a lot of their storylines way too fast. They aren't giving them much time to develop. Imagine casual fans watching this? They would totally be lost after tonight and would probably have no interest in coming back for next week's show. I honestly feel like the show is moving so fast that if you miss one episode, you will be totally screwed the following week. If I miss a week, it should feel like I missed of week of storylines/build up. It shouldn't feel like I just missed three months of action.
I'm not even sure which show was worse for this week, Raw or Impact? I expected a pretty heavy promo night for TNA since that normally happens after a PPV, but most of these promos were underwhelming. I liked Robert Roode's promo to open up the show and I liked the moments James Storm was talking, but everything else was pretty painful. And I think TNA jumped the promo shark with having Karen cut that awful promo. I've said this so many freakin' times, but TNA needs to stop throwing so much at you. There was a lot of stuff thrown at you tonight and it can be a challenge to digest all of this. A lot of the intrigue for their world title and "who attacked Storm" storyline was taken out. Now, I am still somewhat interested in what happens with these storylines, but I can see a lot of people losing interest since it really is going too fast. Was the "CM Punk leaving WWE" storyline rushed? Yes, it was. In fact, go check out my older reviews and that's exactly what I said, but it didn't move as fast as this entire thing TNA is doing. As disappointing as Raw was this week, I might recommend that more than tonight's TNA. Was Raw bad? Yes, but at least it had a good ending segment to close out the show. The ending segment for TNA was interesting, but not quite as great as it could've been. Since I have no idea if I will do a Smackdown review for this week, I am going to discuss the matches for WWE Survivor Series. I was thinking of making a Survivor Series Rundown, but the Legend of Zelda articles have filled up my schedule for this week and I had to make some cuts. And to be honest, I really wasn't up for writing a Survivor Series Rundown. At the end of the day, it comes down to what I want to talk/write about, not what others want me to do. Anyway, here we go.
Beth Phoenix vs Eve for Divas Title; LumberJill Match: It honestly feels like this should be Beth vs Alicia Fox since she is the one getting more screen time and victories. It would make no sense to have Eve win this match since she isn't being built up to win the title. Beth escapes this match in some way.
Dolph Ziggler vs John Morrison for the US Title: Kinda odd that Morrison gets this title match and not Zack Ryder. I heard something out there about how Ryder will be added in to make this a triple threat, but I am writing this based on what WWE.com has posted at the moment. I think it's smart to not have Ryder in there at the moment. Ryder is really close for a mid card title, but I think a few more victories will make his case stronger. There is a chance Morrison can get this, but it makes more sense for Dolph to retain the title. Why? Because he's the heel, Dolph Ziggler.
Team Orton vs Team Barrett in Survivor Series style match: I really want to see Team Barrett get this victory. I think it can do a lot of wonders for Wade and some of his team members to win this match. I think Wade and Cody Rhodes can profit from it the most. Then again, WWE tends to lean towards the good guys winning this type of match, so my prediction at the moment is Team Orton.
Mark Henry vs Big Show for the WHC: For some odd reason, I see this rivalry going into TLC. Since this is still a regular match, I think Henry cheats or gets himself DQed in order to escape with the title. Since TLC is next month, I think it would be good for Henry and Show to settle things in one of those type of matches. Although, not sure if it's a good idea to have Show or Henry climb a ladder. Just has a recipe for disaster. My prediction is going to be a little odd for this one, but I say Henry retains his title. Notice I didn't say who will win or lose.
Alberto Del Rio vs CM Punk for the WWE Championship: Del Rio.....isn't getting over as well as you would like for a world champion. He is getting heel heat, but it's pretty basic. Although, he seems to look a lot better in the last two weeks he has locked up with Punk. The odd thing about this is I would like to think Punk would win this, but I think they will wait until a PPV or two to have Del Rio drop the title. Truth of the matter, Del Rio needs the title more than Punk at the moment. At the same time, if Punk were to lose, that would be four PPVs in a row Punk has lost. Of course, this will only let whiny IWC fans bitch about how "Punk is getting buried", blah blah blah. If Punk is getting buried or pushed to the back, he wouldn't be as over as he is. Seriously, he gets a bigger reaction than John Cena....depending where they are performing. If Punk wasn't over, they wouldn't even give him a title match and would just stick him in some throwaway match. Then again, if I talk about all the things the IWC bitches about, this article will never be over. At the moment, it makes the most sense for Del Rio to cheat in order to keep the title, thus set up a rematch in which Punk can take the title. As a Punk fan, I wouldn't mind seeing him get the title right now. Still, my pick is Del Rio.
Rock and John Cena vs Miz and R-Truth: As of right now, there are the two likely outcomes. Either Awesome Truth gets totally destroyed by the power and Rock and Cena, in which Rock and Cena and simply just trying to say "I'm better than you". The other outcome is for Rock and Cena to focus on each other, thus allowing for Awesome Truth to steal one. I personally like the second option a lot more since people like Miz and Truth need this a lot more than Rock and Cena. In many ways, this can be a filler match. It can be filler since the entire match is building up Rock vs Cena at WM. Still, I think what will end up happening is Rock and Cena exchanging finishers to Miz and Truth. Rock and Cena is getting to the point where they want to compare dick sizes....easy, big fella. At the moment, my pick is Rock and Cena.
That will do it for some quick thoughts for Survivor Series, and that will also do it for the review. I wouldn't be surprised if people care more about my thoughts on Survivor Series than tonight's Impact. As always, tell me what you thought of my review and tonight's show. Be sure to check out Part III of my Zelda article, which will be posted on Saturday or Sunday. I will see you guys and girls on the next WrestlingNerd show, see you next time.